ITT we post funny news articles that seem like they should be from the Onion, but are actually real. Teen plays Russian Roulette with semi-auto handgun http://www.al.com/news/birmingham/i...roulette_with_semi-aut.html#incart_river_home 86 year old woman accidently strangled to death by life alert necklace http://fox2now.com/2016/03/02/86-ye...strangled-to-death-by-medical-alert-necklace/ Goonies House shut down after owner sick of people doing truffle shuffle on lawn http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-e...the-truffle-shuffle-on-the-lawn-10462363.html Rape Victim in India asked to balance heavy rock on head to prove purity http://tribune.com.pk/story/934954/...lance-heavy-rock-on-head-to-prove-her-purity/ Tony the Tiger twitter account asks people to stop tweeting him furry porn http://www.theguardian.com/technolo...-frosties-begs-furries-stop-tweeting-him-porn Most of these from reddit
Flint residents paid America's highest water rates http://www.freep.com/story/news/loc...dy-flint-paid-highest-rate-us-water/80461288/
And locally: Girl scout sells cookies outside Portland pot shop: 'It's not against the rules' http://katu.com/news/local/girl-sco...e-portland-pot-shop-its-not-against-the-rules
Police: Connecticut Man Tests His New Guns By Firing Into Park Full Of Kids Playing Softball His only lines of fire into the park included: A hocky rink a skateboard pool parking three tightly-packed baseball diamonds more parking and that's AFTER he's fired across a four-lane main thoroughfare.
New York train rider reports suspicious packages, turn out to be machines used to report suspicious packages https://www.foxnews.com/us/new-york-train-suspicious-packages-machine
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/arti...nference-gets-canceled-because-of-coronavirus Coronavirus conference cancelled due to coronavirus.
https://www.channel3000.com/more-people-are-being-poisoned-from-drinking-hand-sanitizer/ More Wisconsin residents are being poisoned from drinking hand sanitizer this year compared to last year The Wisconsin Poison Control Center has received an increase in the number calls of people being poisoned from drinking hand sanitizer. Clinical Toxicologist Matthew Stanton said since June 1, there have been nearly 200 calls about this. Stanton said during the same time period last year, there were 65 calls.
Human penises are shrinking because of pollution, warns scientist Dr Shanna Swan has found that chemicals called phthalates are causing human babies to be born with malformed genitals https://news.sky.com/story/human-penises-are-shrinking-because-of-pollution-warns-scientist-12255106 Dr Swan's research began by examining phthalate syndrome, something observed in rats which found that when fetuses were exposed to the chemical they were likely to be born with shrunken genitals. She discovered that male human babies who had been exposed to the phthalates in the womb had a shorter anogenital distance - something that correlated with penile volume. The chemical has an industrial use in making plastics more flexible, but Dr Swan says it is being transmitted into toys and foods and subsequently harms human development. Dr Swan believes that the rapidly decreasing fertility rate means that most men will be unable to produce viable sperm by 2045.
Monkey in "bullet-proof" vest found dead after bloody cartel shootout in Mexico https://www.cbsnews.com/news/monkey-bullet-proof-vest-killed-deadly-narco-shootout-mexico/ “Photos from the scene of a shootout Tuesday in Texcaltitlan with police in which 11 drug gang members died, showed a small monkey - dressed in a tiny camouflage jacket and a tiny "bullet-proof" vest - sprawled across the body of a dead gunman who was apparently his owner. Authorities in the State of Mexico confirmed the authenticity of the photos, and said it was unclear whether the monkey - which was also wearing a diaper - died in the hail of bullets that killed his owner” Spoiler: narco footage
https://www.businessinsider.com/mar...ildren-should-be-trained-with-firearms-2022-6 Marjorie Taylor Greene says children 'should be trained with firearms' to ward off a 'mad man with a gun' in schools