Not always. I almost married a girl that I lived with for a few years. Her real crazy didn't come out for awhile until we settled in living together. We had been talking marriage until that point then I just rode it out till I found her replacement and dipped.
Well yeah. Unless you literally marry your dream (and she actually turns out to be as great as you hoped) everyone settles. I've been married seven years. I still find my wife attractive (even more now that she has a bit of an ass on her), I've learned to live with the shit I don't like and we still enjoy hanging out together. She's not as hot as Minka Kelly, she's not the 1950s husband-pleaser I'd prefer and she's not what I'd call "cool". But she's a B+ as a wife and an A- as a mom. I'm cool with that.
God, I'm jaded. Or immersed. Saw the "settle" comment and immediately thought it was about settling a case. Confused me for a moment given the context. Should probably learn to turn my brain off or some shit.
Think wife is or is near cheating with an old bf. Earlier this week had a great talk with wife and came to some amazing realizations of my own behavior and what truely would have to change for us to stay together, but I know prior to that talk she was going to approach it that we should separate. My mind is in a million places right now hard to focus on thoughts to write down.
Essentially this. I doubt you two really have open lines of communication, and if you were to open them up, then one or both of you will likely flip out. Better to get some knowledgeable advice and air shit out in a "safe" * environment. *no place is really safe, but it's better there than in the living room. That being said, if you get an inkling she isn't into it, at least see an Attorney if you have kids or anything to protect financially. Don't have to hire them or proceed but you need to at least be aware of what to expect if it comes to that.
I get regular sex and at least a BJ weekly from my wife. Is anyone else in this insanely cool club like me?
The communication level this week has been unheard of in our marriage. Just talking about past problems and learning things we didn't know about each other. But she is hiding stuff and I haven't pressed about it. I did login to her find my iPhone today which is amazing to use, but doesn't seem very healthy to continue doing. Professional counseling... We've done a bit of it in the past, not sure if she'd be up for it again
If you're legitimately trying to save your marriage, cut out the PI shit and focus on your relationship. Otherwise go see an attorney to figure out what will help you the most before an action gets filed.
Damnit ok Tonight getting home from work and having dinner at in laws and she just plops down on couch going to sleep. Doesn't talk to me or even barely acknowledge me. I'm putting kids to sleep. Not sure what this means i can't help but try to analyze everything and PI
Its a tough position to be in. I fully understand that. But open lines of communication, especially in a healthy environment, is the best way to fix problems. Hence why the counseling should begin immediately.
I am trying so hard not to have this get to a volatile situation. Reading her phone txt messages didn't help. Good question what am I going to do if I catch her cheating... I didn't think that far ahead
I mean if you wanna do some super sleuthing... Settings > Privacy > Location Services > Scroll to bottom to System Services > Frequent Locations
Samsies.. Girl read my txt messages. FUCK ATT!! They keep a back log of ur txt messages from when u started your service with them. All your girl/wife has to do is create a log in and recover them. I know.. I called AT&T and they cannot delete previous messages. Its not a paid subscription either. They can access all that shit when they want. Just a heads up. My girl and I are working on it.
The whole thing bro.. It shows what you typed and what she typed.. Fucked me up because a lot of these messages were just jokes or random txts from old flames. Nothing happened but the txt means it's true.. Bs
Her flirting with another guy, an old bf. That does appear to be all it is at the moment. I don't even care about that anymore. Update: This past week we have done so much talking it's insane. Talking without a single fight. Enjoying the weekend together without any fighting. Last night during our talk she says she does want to separate. Of course there is a ton of history of an 8 year marriage I can't write all in one post but basically she said she's been unhappy for a while and tried to fix things before and came to the decision it can't be fixed and has been mentally detaching herself from our relationship for the past couple months. I told her I thought regardless of what happens, I think it is in our best interests to see a counselor even if it's only to help us separate. I took today off with plans on calling counselor, lawyer, writing her a letter, and two other house maintenance calls/appointments. I hope I'm not making the wrong moves. I'm not sure what to do next though. Do I move out temporarily to give her space like this google search pulled up? http://anhonestapproach.com/relatio...to-leave-home-when-the-wife-wants-to-separate Do I stay living with her while not pressuring her and still try to work counseling in? Do I go all out lawyering up and documenting everything and making sure our bank account is OK? I have no reason to suspect she's going to go batshit crazy and start making harmful decisions with our money and two kids.
Talk to the lawyer as it depends by state/situation on moving out. But you can still come across as being the nice guy while documenting everything and checking the bank accounts. Really just have to be sly about doing it.
Florida. I hate the idea of moving out. Bought this house 2 years ago and have done so much (updates, time/money invested) to it to make it our home of the future. Damnit I'm an idiot for not realizing the seriousness of this earlier and putting in effort to fix it then. Maybe deep down I knew this was coming and want out of the marriage myself as I've been unhappy but I'm torn because I want the family to stay together, live together, grow together.