TMB Divorce Thread

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by One Knight, Apr 30, 2015.

  1. Chipper>Jeter

    Chipper>Jeter Defund the NCAA
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    Not always. I almost married a girl that I lived with for a few years. Her real crazy didn't come out for awhile until we settled in living together. We had been talking marriage until that point then I just rode it out till I found her replacement and dipped.
     
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  2. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Left the starter in until the reliever was ready. I like your style.
     
  3. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
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    Cliffs: Settle
     
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  4. Moxin24

    Moxin24 Show me that smile
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    Well yeah. Unless you literally marry your dream (and she actually turns out to be as great as you hoped) everyone settles. I've been married seven years. I still find my wife attractive (even more now that she has a bit of an ass on her), I've learned to live with the shit I don't like and we still enjoy hanging out together. She's not as hot as Minka Kelly, she's not the 1950s husband-pleaser I'd prefer and she's not what I'd call "cool". But she's a B+ as a wife and an A- as a mom. I'm cool with that.
     
  5. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
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    Everybody settles to some extent because no one is perfect.
     
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  6. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
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    It was just a joke guys.
     
  7. Magneto

    Magneto Thats right, formerly Don Brodka.
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    I am lucky my wife has aged like a fine wine. She is much prettier now then when we met.
     
  8. Tilly

    Tilly Souf Cack
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    God, I'm jaded. Or immersed.

    Saw the "settle" comment and immediately thought it was about settling a case. Confused me for a moment given the context.

    Should probably learn to turn my brain off or some shit.
     
  9. Corky Bucek

    Corky Bucek Placeholder for a Custom Title
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  10. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Is she drinking more water? Getting more sleep?
     
  11. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    Think wife is or is near cheating with an old bf. Earlier this week had a great talk with wife and came to some amazing realizations of my own behavior and what truely would have to change for us to stay together, but I know prior to that talk she was going to approach it that we should separate. My mind is in a million places right now hard to focus on thoughts to write down.
     
    #261 kinghill, Jul 3, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2015
  12. AHebrewToo

    AHebrewToo Albino Hebrew Extraordinaire
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    begin professional counseling immediately.
     
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  13. Tilly

    Tilly Souf Cack
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    Essentially this. I doubt you two really have open lines of communication, and if you were to open them up, then one or both of you will likely flip out. Better to get some knowledgeable advice and air shit out in a "safe" * environment.

    *no place is really safe, but it's better there than in the living room.

    That being said, if you get an inkling she isn't into it, at least see an Attorney if you have kids or anything to protect financially. Don't have to hire them or proceed but you need to at least be aware of what to expect if it comes to that.
     
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  14. DezBryant

    DezBryant Well-Known Member
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    I get regular sex and at least a BJ weekly from my wife. Is anyone else in this insanely cool club like me?
     
  15. Moxin24

    Moxin24 Show me that smile
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    She does that for everyone.
     
  16. Fister Roboto

    Fister Roboto Well-Known Member
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    I dont like crowds so she just lets me in the back door
     
  17. DezBryant

    DezBryant Well-Known Member
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    Well long as they keep a coming I'm good with that
     
  18. Moxin24

    Moxin24 Show me that smile
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    We do
     
  19. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    The communication level this week has been unheard of in our marriage. Just talking about past problems and learning things we didn't know about each other.

    But she is hiding stuff and I haven't pressed about it.

    I did login to her find my iPhone today which is amazing to use, but doesn't seem very healthy to continue doing.

    Professional counseling... We've done a bit of it in the past, not sure if she'd be up for it again
     
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  20. DezBryant

    DezBryant Well-Known Member
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    Like?
     
  21. Tilly

    Tilly Souf Cack
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    Catholicism.
     
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  22. Tilly

    Tilly Souf Cack
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    If you're legitimately trying to save your marriage, cut out the PI shit and focus on your relationship.

    Otherwise go see an attorney to figure out what will help you the most before an action gets filed.
     
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  23. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey a guy who posted here like five years ago hates me
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    Tilly leavin' 'em #rekt with #facts
     
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  24. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    Damnit ok

    Tonight getting home from work and having dinner at in laws and she just plops down on couch going to sleep. Doesn't talk to me or even barely acknowledge me. I'm putting kids to sleep. Not sure what this means i can't help but try to analyze everything and PI
     
  25. Tilly

    Tilly Souf Cack
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    Its a tough position to be in. I fully understand that.

    But open lines of communication, especially in a healthy environment, is the best way to fix problems. Hence why the counseling should begin immediately.
     
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  26. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    What happens if you catch her cheating?
     
  27. DezBryant

    DezBryant Well-Known Member
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    You murder her?
     
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  28. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    I am trying so hard not to have this get to a volatile situation. Reading her phone txt messages didn't help. Good question what am I going to do if I catch her cheating... I didn't think that far ahead
     
  29. D. Silver

    D. Silver Russian Gas
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    well?
     
  30. SmoochieWallace

    SmoochieWallace Ipse dixit
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    Cliffs of messages ?
     
  31. two

    two Hello
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    I mean if you wanna do some super sleuthing...

    Settings > Privacy > Location Services > Scroll to bottom to System Services > Frequent Locations
     
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  32. shawnoc

    shawnoc My president is black, my logos are red...
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    Wow, that is cool.
     
  33. Caga palo

    Caga palo Put my pager on a vibe..cuz a Junky is a Junky 365
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    Samsies.. Girl read my txt messages. FUCK ATT!! They keep a back log of ur txt messages from when u started your service with them. All your girl/wife has to do is create a log in and recover them. I know..

    I called AT&T and they cannot delete previous messages. Its not a paid subscription either. They can access all that shit when they want. Just a heads up.
    My girl and I are working on it.
     
  34. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    The actual messages or the log that show person A texted person B at2 am?
     
  35. Caga palo

    Caga palo Put my pager on a vibe..cuz a Junky is a Junky 365
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    The whole thing bro.. It shows what you typed and what she typed..

    Fucked me up because a lot of these messages were just jokes or random txts from old flames. Nothing happened but the txt means it's true.. Bs
     
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  36. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    Yikes. I'll stick with Verizon.
     
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  37. Gambler

    Gambler Hog Fan
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    What kind of phone is this on? Didn't see this on mine. I have an S5.
     
  38. two

    two Hello
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    iPhone
     
  39. Caga palo

    Caga palo Put my pager on a vibe..cuz a Junky is a Junky 365
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    It was a shock. Fuck at&t
     
  40. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Sounds like a Dan Patrick post
     
  41. Frank Martin

    Frank Martin tough love makes better posters
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    what does this do?
     
  42. two

    two Hello
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    Shows all the different locations you've been.
     
  43. DezBryant

    DezBryant Well-Known Member
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    You're mother is a whore
     
  44. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    Your*
     
  45. Tilly

    Tilly Souf Cack
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    Saw you replied and was expecting something else.
     
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  46. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    Sorry?
     
  47. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    Her flirting with another guy, an old bf. That does appear to be all it is at the moment. I don't even care about that anymore.



    Update:
    This past week we have done so much talking it's insane. Talking without a single fight. Enjoying the weekend together without any fighting. Last night during our talk she says she does want to separate. Of course there is a ton of history of an 8 year marriage I can't write all in one post but basically she said she's been unhappy for a while and tried to fix things before and came to the decision it can't be fixed and has been mentally detaching herself from our relationship for the past couple months.

    I told her I thought regardless of what happens, I think it is in our best interests to see a counselor even if it's only to help us separate.

    I took today off with plans on calling counselor, lawyer, writing her a letter, and two other house maintenance calls/appointments.

    I hope I'm not making the wrong moves. I'm not sure what to do next though. Do I move out temporarily to give her space like this google search pulled up?
    http://anhonestapproach.com/relatio...to-leave-home-when-the-wife-wants-to-separate

    Do I stay living with her while not pressuring her and still try to work counseling in?

    Do I go all out lawyering up and documenting everything and making sure our bank account is OK? I have no reason to suspect she's going to go batshit crazy and start making harmful decisions with our money and two kids.
     
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  48. Tilly

    Tilly Souf Cack
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    Talk to the lawyer as it depends by state/situation on moving out.

    But you can still come across as being the nice guy while documenting everything and checking the bank accounts. Really just have to be sly about doing it.
     
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  49. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    Florida.

    I hate the idea of moving out. Bought this house 2 years ago and have done so much (updates, time/money invested) to it to make it our home of the future. Damnit I'm an idiot for not realizing the seriousness of this earlier and putting in effort to fix it then. Maybe deep down I knew this was coming and want out of the marriage myself as I've been unhappy but I'm torn because I want the family to stay together, live together, grow together.
     
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  50. Angry Dolphin

    Angry Dolphin In that cool mountain air on a appalachian trail
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    My completely baseless advice - do not move out, on the chance that it does go south.