Advice on dealing with asshole neighbor

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Why?Pokes, Oct 3, 2019.

  1. Bo Pelinis

    Donor TMB OG
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    He scratched the shit out of you because cats aren't supposed to be wearing clothes.
     
  2. Aaron Hernandez

    Aaron Hernandez LikeMyPostCampaign: https://bit.ly/2kKJpot
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    You can very clearly read in her eyes, that she is asking you to just kill her.
     
  3. TimJimothy

    TimJimothy Well-Known Member
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    I read all of this guys' posts in Ned Flanders' voice.
     
  4. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    On both cats actually.

    I lost the bow tie battle a long time ago; there’s enough in the pet drawer for them to wear a different one every month of the year.

    It was all I could do to keep them off the dogs.

    Oh yeah he absolutely hates it. Evidently the prior owner lost 7 to the highway next to us though, so the harnesses aren’t going anywhere.

    Mars loves everyone and everything. I could dress him up in a full-body stormtrooper costume and he wouldn’t care.
     
  5. poor paul

    poor paul Well-Known Member
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    I kinda like the bowties but I've never heard of a cat on a harness/leash.
     
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  6. Bo Pelinis

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    Hey diddly diddly
    the cats and the fiddling
    the cow jumps over the moon
    the little dog laughs
    at Why?Pokes because his owner doesn't give a fuck

    The end.
     
  7. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    Lady Pokes saw some YouTube videos several years ago of a guy who takes his cat hiking/climbing on a leash and was convinced she could train them to do the same.

    Chloe hates it. George does pretty good and will go on short walks. Mars is a goof and just wants to roll over and play.

    They’ll never do as well on it as she wants but it keeps them safe outside. We see dead cats on the highway all the time.
     
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  8. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Is mars short for Mars Blackmon?
     
    #458 racer, Oct 10, 2019
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2019
  9. CuckFinn

    CuckFinn If you hold a cat by it’s tail...
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    I’m behind a few pages. Did you blow the cat yet?
     
  10. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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  11. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    mars bars
     
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  12. CuckFinn

    CuckFinn If you hold a cat by it’s tail...
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    So you dressed the cat like an Ole Miss fan? Brutal
     
  13. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    No, it’s Mars like the planet, because he’s orange. One of our dogs is named Hoku, which means “star” in Hawaiian, so we decided to do another astronomy-themed name. Also we got Mars when the protest was starting for the new telescope here so it was a way of showing our support for it.
     
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  14. Ty Webb

    Ty Webb Living rent free in Jigga's head
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    Why?Pokes likes this.
  15. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Buster, Ty Webb and Why?Pokes like this.
  16. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    I bet you anything he forgot to go grocery shopping today. his ass is grass tonight.
     
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  17. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    GBR

    NFM
     
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  18. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
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    I do respect Why?Pokes for straight up owning his emasculated lifestyle
     
  19. cutig

    cutig My name is Rod, and I like to party
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    Dude stats at home with his pets and lives in Hawaii while his wife works. I'd say that's pretty great
     
  20. Bo Pelinis

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    Emasculated doesn't necessarily mean bad. Look at this guy with his toxic masculinity.
     
  21. cutig

    cutig My name is Rod, and I like to party
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    You got me pegged
     
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  22. Bo Pelinis

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    [​IMG]
     
  23. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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    Are we talking about pegging in this thread now? No kink shaming.
     
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  24. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    Some people say I’m a modern day renaissance icon of gender equality.

    I’m not saying I say that, but people do.
     
  25. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    Oooo, you’d just love that wouldn’t you Benedict Arnold?

    Already three steps ahead of you pal: sent her to work with a thermos of French Press and a smoothie w/ fresh apple bananas from the yard; and now I’m defrosting some chicken and trying to decide between a turmeric marinade to pair w steamed broccoli and a cucumber tomato salad, or going the shredded route to do some mango salsa nachos w fresh guac.
     
  26. bwi2

    bwi2 Not affiliated with BWI
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    ah yes, Mars, the Orange Planet
     
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  27. Houndster

    Houndster Well-Known Member
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    My cat has a harness and leash too but I am totally not emasculated and have a huge penis and beat my wife.
     
  28. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
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    How long before the neighbor gets back and starts dragging his nuts across OP's face again?
     
  29. Buster Mahomes

    Buster Mahomes "Don't buy a Lincoln you'll look like a pimp."
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    poor paul, Why?Pokes and Luka like this.
  30. dallasdawg

    dallasdawg does the tin man have a sheet metal cock?
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    can i live with you too
     
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  31. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    As a matter of fact, we currently have an open position. A couple questions:

    1) Do you work well with cats;
    2) Are you comfortable trapping wild beasts; and,
    3) Which school of blowjob technique do you follow?
     
  32. Tiffin

    Tiffin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    1) allergic but will work for allergy shots and food
    2)
    3) I don't have a gag reflex
     
  33. dallasdawg

    dallasdawg does the tin man have a sheet metal cock?
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    1) sure, no allergies
    2) bertwing always likes to play rough, so plenty of experience there
    3) your mom’s
     
  34. HoosDaMan

    HoosDaMan Grumpy
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    Cat harnesses is the most white person thing ever.
     
  35. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    *kid harness
     
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  36. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    I'm just glad you didnt name the black cat Mars for Bruno Mars. Who i believe is from Hawaii fwiw.
     
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  37. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    Bruno is. The black cat is from the mean streets of Winston-Salem, NC. We found him scavenging for scraps in a garbage alley @ 3-4 weeks old.
     
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  38. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    In some ways WhyPokes reminds me of Scout from River Rock Ranch
     
  39. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Back to Back to Back AAU National Champs
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    Does anyone know if he’s blown the neighbor yet?
     
  40. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    I think he tried and ended up getting blown.
     
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  41. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Back to Back to Back AAU National Champs
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    upload_2019-10-22_12-2-39.gif
     
  42. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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  43. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    No Otis sightings since we started dealing directly with the landlords. Think they probably threatened to boot him if he didn’t get his shit under control. Pretty sure we made an enemy for life, and it feels vaguely like we tattled on him to his mommy.
     
  44. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    All the more reason the upcoming blowjob needs to be delivered with the proper balance of care and aggression.
     
  45. CuckFinn

    CuckFinn If you hold a cat by it’s tail...
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    Just the cat I think.
     
  46. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    I think his phone autocorrected "raping" to "trapping."
     
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  47. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Would have went with tapping there.
     
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  48. lfriend

    lfriend Well-Known Member
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    Have you tried blowing the landlord in gratitude yet
     
  49. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    I think we may have blown the shark
     
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  50. Ty Webb

    Ty Webb Living rent free in Jigga's head
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    Sounds dangerous
     
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