Advice on dealing with asshole neighbor

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Why?Pokes, Oct 3, 2019.

  1. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Yet less dangerous than being blown by a shark
     
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  2. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    [​IMG]

    How would you even suck a shark's dick
     
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  3. TimJimothy

    TimJimothy Well-Known Member
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    well you'd probably want to start by making yourself look attractive
     
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  4. Ty Webb

    Ty Webb Living rent free in Jigga's head
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    True, thought not without some obvious benefits. Shark never has to come up for air....
     
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  5. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    let's get a thursday cat picture to brighten our day Why?Pokes
     
  6. pez

    pez Competent
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    @ Jim McIlwein
     
  7. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    From behind
     
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  8. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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  9. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    Why?Pokes likes this.
  10. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
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    r/dontputyourdickinthat
     
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  11. Bo Pelinis

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    Why?Pokes what color bowties are on those fancy fucking cats of yours today
     
  12. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    D3DA79E9-1FC6-418B-8C2A-C9C0FFAA8769.jpeg
     
  13. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    The fall holiday collection, duh.

    8FECB087-034E-431A-8EC0-FFAA16D08C32.jpeg 94ACBA84-A397-42CC-B592-5F209A71FDDD.jpeg
     
  14. Pharm

    Pharm Right Handed
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  15. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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  16. TimJimothy

    TimJimothy Well-Known Member
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    It does not surprise me at all that the cat isn't doing it's part in the 69. Typical fuckin cat.
     
  17. NCHusker

    NCHusker We named our yam Pam. It rhymed.
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    You know you've made it when you have monthly cat bowtie money
     
  18. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    The cats are spoiled more than I am. In addition to the closet full of bow ties we get a subscription box of toys that I keep begging her to cancel. If I can’t stop it we’re going to be drowning in fake mice and feathers.

    Last box had a pack of breakaway collars with bells on them, which are just fantastic at 3am when they start chasing each other.
     
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  19. Bo Pelinis

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    Hold the fuck on. There are monthly subscription boxes for cats? Fucking white people.
     
  20. NCHusker

    NCHusker We named our yam Pam. It rhymed.
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    We live in a boring dystopia
     
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  21. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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  22. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    Not according to your wife’s parents!
     
  23. Mix

    Mix I own a Fuddruckers with Scottie Pippen
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    Best SNL sketch.

     
  24. HoosDaMan

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    Your wife must have incredible pussy or be ridiculously wealthy.
     
  25. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Back to Back to Back AAU National Champs
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  26. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    Update:

    We might have acquired a wild pig. I’m out of town and got a frantic text last night that there’s a loose boar in the driveway and the dogs are chasing it.

    Neighbor sent us a video of it crashing through the mesquite saplings and suggesting that maybe it tore up the lawn (no chance buddy, already had my hog expert conduct a forensic exam of the carnage). Looked more like a tiny sow than a boar.

    I give it a 50-50 shot that there’s a piglet in a harness on our patio when I get home.
     
  27. Bo Pelinis

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    Shoot it with a crossbow and eat it
     
  28. Pelican Grove

    Pelican Grove You know me
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    Is this a residential neighborhood or the Wild Wild West?
     
    #528 Pelican Grove, Nov 5, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2019
  29. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Lol he let the dog tear up the yard then blamed it on a pig. Warm up your jaw.
     
  30. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    Fairly rural. Subdivision is 3-5 acre parcels about 5 miles outside a small town.
     
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  31. BudKilmer

    BudKilmer Well-Known Member
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    :laugh:
     
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  32. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Back to Back to Back AAU National Champs
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    Has anyone suggested going down on the Hog’s hog?
     
  33. Pelican Grove

    Pelican Grove You know me
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    Is there a line of trees/woods around you? Just wondering where the hogs are coming from?
     
  34. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    Mostly open grassland around us but there’s a stream close by with some overgrowth along the banks, and then a forest 2-1/2 to 3 miles away between us and town. Also lots of farmers. Lil fella either went on an adventure or sprung himself loose from a pen.
     
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  35. Pelican Grove

    Pelican Grove You know me
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    I was wondering if the water rose and forced them to migrate elsewhere for time being. Does the Forest 2.5 miles away get impacted by flooding?
     
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  36. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Aren't you going to feel like a dickhead for blaming Otis.
     
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  37. HoosDaMan

    HoosDaMan Grumpy
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    Poor Otis. The bitch set him up.
     
  38. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    OP owes Otis a bj now that the pig was fucking his yard up all along.
     
  39. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    We’re really arid but any square centimeter of the island can see a flash flood at a moment’s notice. As far as I know, it was more or less dry over the last ~5 days I was gone.

    There’s wild boar everywhere, and while they normally stick to the brush like your intuition, they occasionally venture out to explore; it helps that they have no natural predators.

    I’d really like to buy a bow and flush them with the doggos. Lady Pokes won’t go for it after she saw a lead chaser with its guts hanging out the other day, so a gun might be more realistic. Either way would love a freezer full of pork to munch on year-round.
     
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  40. Bo Pelinis

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    Cross bow. Game cam. Varmint Kong
     
  41. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    Hey now, I may have no masculine roles left to me at this point, but I still have enough Wyoming left in me to tell the difference between a dog’s paw prints and a pair of tusks tilling the earth for grubs.

    Plus I had my hog expert confirm my analysis.
     
  42. Bo Pelinis

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    Hog expert lol
     
  43. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    Let’s leave your wife out of this!
     
  44. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    :grinch:
     
  45. HoosDaMan

    HoosDaMan Grumpy
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    Green Acres: Hawaii.
     
  46. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    blind dog had a wild hog problem (and I don’t mean the shitty football team!). Any advice for Pokes?
     
  47. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    I don’t need advice as much as I need a sexy lever-action and approval to pull the trigger.

    Or a pig harness.
     
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  48. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    I bought a flood light and put in my yard facing area they kept fucking up. Might just be a coincidence but they haven't touched my yard since except one night I forgot to turn it on
     
  49. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    This entire thread has been urging you to take sexy action for 11 pages now and you refuse to blow any person, dog, cat or now hog.
     
  50. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Hold on. Weren’t you hiring people because you couldn’t pull a trigger?