Advice on dealing with asshole neighbor

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Why?Pokes, Oct 3, 2019.

  1. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    Gubbs, what are your thoughts on cats in bow ties?
     
  2. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
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    and giving your neighbors blowjobs?
     
  3. THE REAL GUBBERJK

    THE REAL GUBBERJK original ocean grown
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    grandma watches also wtf ?
    go gators a double ?
    oh well we are the boys so ?
    what ?
    you mad ?

     
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  4. THE REAL GUBBERJK

    THE REAL GUBBERJK original ocean grown
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    sarge your fucking nut dude sometimes I think I,m gonna catch my right nut in my zipper when I lol!
     
    Boo MFer! and Why?Pokes like this.
  5. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    No idea, but she airmail overnighted those ties, and sent my present on a 6-12 week odyssey of ground transport and cargo ship cruises. It wouldn’t surprise me if the pony express is involved too.
     
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  6. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    Ignore.
     
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  7. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
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    That is amazing. Gift for my husband with a date certain deadline...cheapest option available. Two more adorable cat bow ties for the 100+ collection...I NEED IT TOMORROW IN HAWAII!!
     
  8. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    Smallish fish.
     
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  9. HoosDaMan

    HoosDaMan Grumpy
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  10. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    Me and my step son just got cursed out for walking through about 4 feet of a neighbors property to throw rocks in a city creek. I asked her where her property line was so I wouldn’t walk through it and she told me it was none of my damn business.
     
  11. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    Guess you know which way to throw the rocks next time
     
  12. DUCKMOUTH

    DUCKMOUTH People don’t you know, don’t you know
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    Sounds like stupid assholes.
     
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  13. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    May I offer some advice?
     
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  14. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Did you try having your son blow her?
     
  15. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    Just not sure I get the whole fortress idea of some people. It’s not like we were even trampling grass or something. I hope I don’t get like that when I get old.
     
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  16. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    some people are just miserable pricks, good chance they were like that at 25 too
     
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  17. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    UPDATE!!!

    Stupid Shit thread reminded me of some recent developments.

    After a year of good neighboring, Otis has returned after his owner decided to not give any fucks again. Early morning, late night, doesn’t matter. He leaves the dog alone for weeks at a time and his dog watchers let the mutt go everywhere.

    The Good:

    Otis’ landlords are moving in and he’ll soon be some other neighborhood’s canine terrorist.

    The Bad:

    The new neighbors want to build a pool overlooking our backyard, where they’ll laugh and chuckle at our unpooled existence while driving us to extreme jealousy.

    The Ugly:

    Otis’ absence will not fix my lawn issue. There is an unchecked hog running wild through the subdivision, grubbing for food and ruining landscape fixtures to and fro.

    Previously I thought they were feral hogs following the riverbed down from the forests. However, I know have reason to believe one or multiple owners are keeping domesticated pigs despite it violating the HOA covenants. I spotted an escaped piglet with a leash around its neck running down the street early morning Thurs.


    I don’t know where I’m going with any of this other than I’m kinda hoping someone has some good pig-trapping and bbq advice.
     
  18. IV

    IV Freedom is the right of all sentient beings
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    Pigs are a unstoppable force of nature, good luck
     
  19. —

    Well-Known Member
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    Have you tried sucking the pig’s dick?
     
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  20. NCHusker

    NCHusker We named our yam Pam. It rhymed.
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    Put the pigs in cute costumes and move it along
     
  21. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus The important thing is, you think I'm attractive
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    She sounds just delightful
     
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  22. AptosDuck

    AptosDuck Pedantic Hausfrau
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    I sense some bacon in your future

    Compound bows are quick efficient and quiet
     
  23. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Watch a few seasons of Alone and you’ll have that fucker snared in no time.
     
  24. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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    Start swinging with the neighbor couple and you should be able to use their pool.
     
  25. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    Is there any way a juvenile pig w/o tusks could fuck up my collie and pointer?

    I met some guy named Clint at the mailboxes the other day, and he assured me I should sick the dogs on it the next opportunity. I have no idea what his qualifications are other than he drives a cool Tacoma and sounded extremely confident.
     
  26. juice

    juice this a cult, not a clique
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    Have you tried oinking at the pigs?
     
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  27. dump

    dump TMB’s premier expert on women’s CBB
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    what would a collie and pointer do besides try to point it out while the other tries to herd it around
     
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  28. juice

    juice this a cult, not a clique
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    Georgia Bulldogs

    I’m trying to picture an escaped domestic pig with a fucking leash on running through my neighborhood.
     
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  29. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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    In your neighborhood? It’d be being chased by a red neck with a boner and a tube of lube in his hand.

    Does that help?
     
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  30. burnttatertot

    burnttatertot butt tuck zoomies
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    Fuck up? No. Transmit disease to? I wouldn't risk it.
     
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  31. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    I think (out of my ass) that the breeders use the English Pointer/hound mixes for coursing/dragging and the GSP for birding around here, and I get the sense there’s some overlap too. But I’m not a hunter, that’s all coming from word of mouth and my strange fascination of watching the local kids’ IG pig hunt and spear fishing videos.

    Realistically, they’d probably befriend the thing before they hurt it. They were pretty aggressive towards it last time they met in the yard though, way more so than they are w other dogs or people.
     
  32. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    For reference, the sentinels:

    1FFF7269-37A6-41A2-A118-BDFD74B0C51B.jpeg
     
  33. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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  34. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    I have 30-50 feral hogs running through my yard every day
     
  35. Bruce Wayne

    Bruce Wayne Billionaire Playboy
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    Neighbors with a pool on the property line are the absolute fucking WOAT
     
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  36. Taffy

    Taffy Token Brit poster
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    I thought AR-15s with butt stocks and large capacity ammo magazines were for hogs?
     
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  37. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    Looks like you have a lot of dick sucking in your future to get to the bottom of this pig ordeal
     
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  38. IV

    IV Freedom is the right of all sentient beings
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    ehhhhh sounds like a bad idea, they use pit bulls to corner hogs

    source: someone once tried to hand me a knife to stab a pig to death, not my cup of tea
     
  39. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    At least wait for him to ask for volunteers Shawn
     
  40. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Invite Nandor the Relentless over to tell the pig about Panera and he’ll pack his bags in zero seconds flat.
     
  41. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    They use Dogo’s for hog hunting which are basically giant badass pit bulls.
     
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  42. IV

    IV Freedom is the right of all sentient beings
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    y’all must have bigger hogs, in my experience they used beagles to track, put bulls to corner
     
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  43. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    Yeah a Dogo can kill a hog on its own without a human having to shoot it. Those dogs are badass.

    A9F90C7D-6D6A-437E-B500-BDD6DDFE8636.jpeg
     
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  44. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure I can’t pee with clothes touching my butt
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    Honestly if you want to beat a hog all you have to do is play against it in football. FML
     
  45. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    This is really bad advice. While dogs certainly enjoy blow jobs, pigs prefer a proper fucking.
     
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  46. DaveGrohl

    DaveGrohl Public Figure
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    I heard motorcycles were the worst thing to happen to the hogs in the past 20 years, so maybe try that.
     
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  47. ClemPson

    ClemPson Well-Known Member
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    By the looks of it that pig will either get fucked or fucked up.
     
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  48. Why?Pokes

    Why?Pokes Take me back to the kine
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    As fate would have it, the collie found one last night and tried to square off with it. It was a juvenile—bit bigger than the last one and way bigger than the piglet I saw the other day.

    They tussled for a sec but she didn’t want the funk and ran behind me for backup, so I had to shoo pig it away.

    I ran to let the pointer out and grab a 40 lb spiked bully bar (only thing I could think of in the moment), but by then the pig had vanished.
     
  49. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    :ded:
     
  50. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Yeah but you have to buy them dinner first and they're not in a hurry to leave the buffet.
     
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