Isn't creampie also only dirty in proper context, but not in origin? Think it comes down to the dominant context and in that case it's dirty and hilarious when dads can't stop accidentally talking about beefing loads
Hi friends, hopeful for some advice (or at least comforting thoughts). I’ve mentioned in other threads but a few years ago by dad suffered several small vestibular strokes, which resulted in cognitive decline. He has progressively gotten worse since then, is a shell of what he once was, and the doctor has officially diagnosed him with early-onset dementia. He’s basically spent the last few years not leaving the house (COVID didn’t help), gaining weight, staying up all night and sleeping all day. I’m familiar with sundowners, and it’s clear he has it, but he won’t adhere to healthy sleep patterns. He spends all night playing on his phone, doing God knows what and posting nonsense to Facebook (pictures of the door or things on his phone from years ago) that I have to go in and delete daily. In April, we moved my parents to our neighborhood in the hopes that being around our kids would help. It’s unfortunately not helped. He’s continued in the same pattern and also started lashing out at my mom when she tries to make him do anything (like go to the doctor). He had an appointment today with an orthopedist (bad knees are what he blames on why he doesn’t do anything). I texted my mom to ask how the appointment went and this was her response: “It’s at 3 if I can get him there. He is screaming at me to get the fuck off his back. This is the last time i will do this Dr thing. I can’t take anymore. I can’t sleep, i can’t eat, i sit a lot alone all day. He only gets up to eat. He sits in the recliner after dinner and in ten minutes he is nodding out. He needs to be put somewhere he can just sleep his life away. He is killing me. I can’t keep doing everything by myself. Clean, laundry, cook, take the dog out. He can’t even open the door and put the garbage outside.” She’s been the kindest caregiver my entire life and I think she’s really frustrated. She has her own physical limitations, to boot. At this point, I don’t know what to do for either of them and I just feel helpless.
God, I feel terrible reading that. My parents never went through that, and I pray I never put my kids through it either.
It’s awful. My dad was a very outgoing person. He coached every baseball team I was on from Age 5-14. He worked construction for 30 years. He got down on the floor to play with my kids as babies. Now, he’s a body in a recliner.
Sorry man. I’m going through fairly similar stuff with my mom and dad as well, although the roles are reversed. It’s really, really difficult. Unfortunately I don’t have much guidance to give, as this is my first go round with all this stuff.
Finances are always a concern but it seems like he needs to be moved to some kind of assisted living.
To Redav’s point, finances would be a concern. But more than anything, he would outright refuse. I’ve spoken to my own therapist about him a lot and I understand that lacking initiative is an inherent aspect of this disease. But it’s hard to watch him just not care about anything. It’s unfathomable. Like, go to bed at night. Stay awake during the day. Take your wife to dinner. Go to a movie. Do SOMETHING.
Talk therapy? Absolutely not. He went to one physical therapy appointment and decided he didn’t need it and refused to go back. The man can’t walk more than a few feet without complaining.
My dad was going to a borderline shit hole for $10k per month. Thankfully he died quickly because my mom was willing to go bankrupt to keep him in non Medicare care.
My grandma lived in one before she died. She was able bodied and mostly sound mind. She was just really old. Her staying there was like twice my monthly mortgage.
My dad died last year with Parkinson’s. Over the last few months, my left index finger has started twitching. I’m 99% sure it’s like muscle fatigue/exertion from working on a keyboard for 20 years, but, due to family history, my GP wants me to see a neurologist just in case. Great start to 2023. Jesus Fucking Christ.
My grandma paid for an in-home caregiver to stay with them 3-4 days each week so she could get a break from caring for my grandpa. Did that for a few years until the situation became completely untenable and he went to a memory care facility.
My grandpa’s experience wasn’t that bad as far as Alzheimer’s goes, but after seeing how it destroyed his mind everyone in my family (except those who are ultra catholic) basically has a plan to end their own life if things start trending in the wrong direction. I have no desire to live through that myself or put my family members through it again.
Today is my dad’s 70th birthday. Two nights ago my mom called me in tears. “Something is wrong with Dad, and I’m worried.” I go over there and he’s very visibly in the throes of some kind of episode. Mom said he had been kind of following her around all day, wouldn’t eat dinner, then in the early evening starting talking delusionally. When I got there, he was also laboring to breathe, his pulse was low and heart rate high. I somehow convinced him to let me take him to the ER, where we sat from 9:15pm until 7:30am the next morning. While there, he couldn’t answer what year it was, who the president was or what city he was in. He told us all about how he worked in this hospital years ago (we are in Jacksonville, and he thought he was in Sarasota). Ultimately, they treated him for a touch of pneumonia and he has to follow-up with the neuro on the mental stuff (which is clearly accelerating). I feel like I’m watching him just slip away from me right in front of my eyes, and it kills me. I’ve never felt so hopeless or sad knowing that there’s just nothing we can do to stop this fucking disease. Some of you may know David Kushner (he blew up on TikTok a while back), but I thought the thread would appreciate his song written from the perspective of someone with cognitive decline. Lyrics are in spoiler. Spoiler I know that you're waiting for me like a dog But have some patience for the part of me that's lost There's been a hundred times When I don't recognize Any of you that love me I try to memorize and identify But it's all getting foggy My head is in the clouds right now Just pray I come around, around Hello, hello, are you lonely? I'm sorry, it's just the chemicals Hello, hello, do you know me? I'm called Mr. Forgettable (oh, oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh) Mr. Forgettable (oh, oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh) Mr. Forgettable The old me hides While the new me fights Look in my eyes He's still in there, right? Did the kitchen change? What about your name? You used to be my heart And now you're just a face My head is in the clouds right now Just pray I come around, around Hello, hello, are you lonely? I'm sorry, it's just the chemicals Hello, hello, do you know me? I'm called Mr. Forgettable (oh, oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh) Mr. Forgettable (oh, oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh) Mr. Forgettable (oh, oh, oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh) Mr. Forgettable (Mr. Forgettable) Hello, hello, are you lonely? I'm sorry, it's just the chemicals Hello, hello, do you know me? They call me Mr. Forgettable
Went to a Valentines Day luncheon at my moms facility yesterday. So weird having to feed your mom but it was a great time.
Very sorry about your dad. I know how awful it is. I will not be watching that YouTube or reading the lyrics. Nope nope nope.
Sorry to hear that man. My grandma who has it had pneumonia on New Year’s Eve and was found unresponsive on the floor at her memory care place. Fortunately she made it through but it’s wild how stuff like pneumonia can just take over an Alzheimer’s patient
So sorry, bud. Been there twice with my parents. It's so hard. Hang in there and enjoy the good days with your dad.
Hope this is the catalyst for better drugs to come, as is often the case. Exciting news based on that possibility. This is a pretty rough v1.0
Thanks. I needed this after getting this text from my mom this morning about my dad: “Dad had a really bad night last night. He had no clue who [my niece staying with them for 2 weeks] was. He wanted to know who she lived with and how far she lived from [my sister/her mom]. He woke up at 2am and was hard to get through to. Told me to leave him the hell alone. I gave him a sleeping pill but I was up all night after that. He’s still a little off this morning.”
sorry about that man, my grandfather got it early. Was a nightmare for my grandmother, thank got my dad looks like he won’t have alzheimer well at least not so early that you can’t recognize your 10 years old grandchildren at 65 years old. i am scared of this shit with the antecedents in my family
Sorry man, but at least memory care is something. Good luck, it’s a weird disease and can be slowed down
And to be fair, my grandfather was always a non caring guy who just wanted to be left alone so his disease never really affected us. He was just there, even before alzheimer hit, you lost someone that had a real connection and love of life if i am not mistaken. So that is a complete different deal to see them transform into someone different so fast.
My mom and she’s still here. We basically pay for a million dollar house every month to take care. Not complaining because I tried early on and couldn’t do it. My point is just because you have people who only have one option doesn’t mean you should do what some of these places do. It’s frustrating to feel bad about a loved ones care and I hope I don’t sound horrible but it’s just where we are.
Oh to be clear I'm very happy that we get to move into *this* phase. I've had it easy - I live elsewhere and my Dad (and as of the past year'ish a few rotating caretakers) have been dealing with the day in day out misery/insanity. But after this transition it all becomes much more compartmentalized and "manageable." My dad doesn't know it yet but he's going to feel a lot of relief.
This is my stage too with mom. Got a 4 year old, a 2 year old, we're moving right now, and instead of her being the constantly available, reliable, competent caregiver she always was to be here for the four of us, we're meeting with her hospice team today. Im p much constantly mad at the universe My wife and I have zero help with these kids, and bein a caregiver for her is even harder somehow. Fuckin blows. And I can't shake how much my mom would hate this shell she's left behind
yeah it’s not a good drug and has very significant side effects while costing $27K. not a miracle drug and unlikely 10 years from now to be used imo.
Text from my mom today about my dad below. For context, I convinced them a little over a year ago to sell my childhood home about 4 hours from me and move to my neighborhood so I could be closer. “Just so you know, Dad had to be given a pill today. He woke me up to ask me why i bought new furniture and how did I make the house different. He asked me if I knew there was a girl asleep (this is my niece, who is visiting) in the chair in the living room. I asked if he knew where he was and he told me (where I grew up and where they moved from). (My niece) asked him later and he told her (my childhood address). I reminded him that we moved to (where they live, near me) and he couldn’t remember. He remembered you and (my wife) but could not remember (my kids) names.” Fuck this disease.
I had a friend txt me this podcast to listen to. I have. I don't know if this a snakeoil or legit. The Gabby Reece Show 3 days ago #209 The End of Alzheimer's: Dr. Dale Bredesen MD on Breakthrough Treatments for Cognitive Diseases, Protocols & Practices to Revive Your Mind & Reverse Cognitive Decline + Practical Pillars for Brain Health Completed playlist_add My guest today is Dr. Dale Bredesen MD who is here to talk about all the new treatments for Alzheimer's and dementia. Dr. Bredesens is a pioneer in brain health research, and his 40 years of work in neurodegeneration has created multiple cutting-edge treatments that have shown great success in turning back cognitive decline. He combines a variety of approaches, including personalized testing, natural interventions, and lifestyle changes. The best part is that his approach is effective for all types of cognitive decline, not just Alzheimer's. It's incredible to hear that there is so much we can do to combat Alzheimer's and dementia and Dr. Bredesen's work is paving the way for future treatments. I'm thrilled to learn more about his approach and see how it can help generations to come. Enjoy! Spoiler Connect with Dr. Bredesen Books: The End of Alzheimer's The End of Alzheimer's Program The First Survivors of Alzheimer's Website: www.Apollohealthco.com Instagram: @drdalebredesen Connect with Gabby @gabbyreece | Linktree For the full show notes visit gabriellereece.com The Gabby Reece Show talks to top experts with the goal of extracting the best information you will need to navigate the universe of health, fitness, relationships, parenting, and business. Gabby keeps it simple but gets to the heart of the conversation with the hopes of providing you with realistic takeaways.