Got that from a guy when I first started working here. He got, "I'd explain it you, but you wouldn't understand it" in reply. We haven't spoken since. It will be four years in August.
When the two owners of your company (brothers) start fist fighting in the office and everyone else dumps out and leaves you standing there looking like an asshole. Then you attempt to break it up and get a stray right cross from a 72 year old man with memory problems. That was pretty annoying.
I said "that's a terrible idea" loud enough for the other office to hear it over the conference call and all laugh.
This guy just really creeps me out. I was on vacation last week and he asked me how my trip went today. I told him it was good and I had a lot of fun. He just stood there at my door with a creepy smile for about ten seconds after that until he could think of another question to ask me.
1.)Lady in the cubicle right outside my office has to be the loudest worker ever. We think she does it to sound like she's extra busy, always like moving her mouse extra hard, moving in her seat a ton etc. The worst thing though, is she has a big bowl of candy on her desk, and peppermints hidden somewhere, and she eats them ALL DAMN DAY. Why is this so annoying you ask? She smacks and slurps it every 4-5 seconds. I know this because I have timed it a few times, and I could even make the next tally mark right as she would do it, it's that repetitive. Like slurp candy, then smack lips, repeat 100,000x..... slurp/smack....slurp smack... Even worse if you go drinking the night before and might be a little hairy in the morning, makes you want to strangle yourself. I play radio/podcasts in my office and it's so loud I can hear it over them. I usually just close my door but if someone needs me it makes me look unavailable. 2.)My new 32 year old supervisor really likes to hear himself talk. Anytime I drop by his office to ask a question that should take 1 minute, I'm there at least 10. He thinks irregardless is a word, which annoys me enough as is, but he uses it in meetings at least 3-4 times a day that I hear.
I have worked in logs for over 15 years, and see that same shit everyday. Folks like that arw just gonna get themselves dead due to hypertension. one of my bosses had her face turn the color of an eggplant over that type shit
Caveat is by far my most cringeworthy meeting word that is constantly used wrong by my old manager. She uses it as "to add to", like "just to caveat off of what Bob said I think we need to do blank as well as blank."
Been in it close to 10. First 2 years stuff would get to me, but I quickly learned I'd die of a heart attack if I let it continue.
Motherfuckers who think the world will quit spinning on its axis if they don't get to take a break/lunch at the exact time they like to normally go.
had a co-worker once start telling me how grumpy he gets if he doesnt eat lunch I had to ask him how old he was
had a co-worker who used to watch gay porn at work. He was kind of tucked away in a cubicle that you had to go around a corner to get to, and the guy right next to him was not very tall, so one day I went to talk to his neighbor, and I noticed what looked like porn on the other guys computer. he heard us talking, and turned it off real quick. Came back later that day, same thing. as I looked closer, it was definitely porn and definitely 2 dudes and zero chicks. Wait, is this annoying things coworkers do? never mind.
Pretty fascinating to see the TMB transition from "post creeper pics of girls in class" to this thread
After reading your post, I went to the main page and the first thread is this about a girl eating a bartender's ass. http://www.the-mainboard.com/index.php?threads/lsu-girl-eating-bartenders-ass.158763/ No growth here.
I used to work with a short, fat, ugly, jewish, troll of a "woman." Well, as contractors we sat in a converted conference room. So no cubicle, just right next to me. The first day she started two of us had to go home sick because of all the cheap perfume she had on. Had to get HR to tell her she wasn't allowed to wear it. She snorted. Constantly. Not from laughing just snorting for no reason. She would eat Cheetos with the bag right up to her face practically inhaling them. Then she would lick her fingers clean and not even wipe them off. Lick the Cheetos off and go right back to typing. Her desk was farther from the door than mine so she would walk behind me multiple times a day and every time I had to hold my breath as her stink wafted past me. The stink was bad but not as bad as the perfume so I just dealt with it. When they offered me full time employee I jumped all over it just to get my own cube. Other stuff that annoys me (in general): It doesn't take 5 fucking minutes to wash your coffee cup. If you have a service dog, treat it like one. Don't let it lay in the aisle. Also, when you take him out to poop, clean it up. And finally, when your dog gets skunked on said poop break, don't bring him back to your cube. When I'm running a scrum, I don't need to hear your tale of woe on why you are behind. I want your status and whether you require assistance. The "yeah, sure, I will look into it" guy that never does anything. The "running a little late today, eh fattus?" Bitch, I was working until 4 am because your sorry ass fucked up. Mentioned earlier but also hate those faggots that claim to have worked all weekend. Oh really? Then how come when I was seeing if you were online both days while I was actually working your IM status was Away: 2 days. Fuckers who never answer the phone when they are on-call. It then rolls to me. DBAs
Not at all. It's nothing to brag about. There's just a certain structure with 'large' offices for the most part. Don't get me wrong...there's still sex, theft, etc....but everyone at least puts on a pretty face 24/7.
One guy in my department I used to sit near complains about fucking everything. If he had a busy day he'd have to bitch about it to everyone in our row, if he had a slow day and got his work done early he'd dip out a little early and complain he couldn't take sitting at his desk and browsing on the clock. I used to do a extra projects for the team and he never helped at all. One day he got an extra assignment on top of his usual work load and asked "How do they expect me to have time for anything else?!" like he would've actually contributed if he didn't have extra work. Constantly complained about his financial situation even though he worked two jobs. We'd have town hall meetings at our company and he'd constantly make remarks under his breath about management making all these decisions from hotel suites and other shit acting like our managers were making 7 figures. He hated when we had monthly parties instead of a little extra money, then hated that we did away with them and he couldn't stuff his face with free food. What sums him up best is we had this "Family Day" thing on his day off which was voluntary, figured there's no way he's going to be there. Well fat ass shows up with his son, introduces me to his son, and complains about being there on his day off. THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU COME?! Used to feel somewhat sorry for him cause he's gone through a bunch of shit but he badmouthed me after I got a promotion over him so he can go fuck himself. I'm the type that puts their head down and just gets the work done, can't stand people who bitch about having to do what they're paid to do. This guy is by far the worst of that type I've dealt with. He doesn't annoy me as much but a guy I work with now used to be my superior. He got a promotion over me cause I fucked up during the process by being honest and let mgmt know I was looking at another job and they weren't sure if I was going to stay(other job never came about cause of budget issues so I got fucked on both ends). Anyway, he was a complete shithead as a manager. Our ten minute monthly meetings turned into a half hour of him rambling on about bullshit and making changes to our department that he never followed through on. Anytime I put in a request for time off well in advance I'd have to go to him a day or two before my time off started to see if it was approved or not cause he'd forget. Now we have the same position and he's somewhat helpful, but he fucked me over a couple weeks ago cause he thought he'd arranged for his shifts to be covered but never did so I was stuck having to do my work and his work when he was off.
Not at all. It's the same shit as everywhere else. Just because your company hits $1B in revenue doesn't mean the nature of people changes.
Also on bring a dish day, they tell me 1000 times "you have to try what so and so made.... It's sooooo good" I don't like fucking sweets so quit asking me over and over again.
Me either. I don't want to eat shit out of these people's kitchen. I don't know what type of home you keep.
The lady in the cube next to mine coughs and it sounds exactly like that noise Lorraine Swanson on Mad TV used to make. I have to stifle my laughter
Nope. Never again. Brought a dish last year to the Thanksgiving one and the engineers wiped it out before anyone could get any food. There wasn't any left by the time I got up there. So fucking glad they're gone. Breakroom is cleaner. Bathrooms aren't just destroyed. I'll never forget those fuckers just double plating it.
recently found out that my boss pisses sitting down and has done so since 8. he has taught his boys to piss like this as well. trust me i cringed when i heard that.
Guy in our office is 38 and always is talking about his dating life although no one asks him. He always has a new girlfriend that lasts 3-4 weeks and then it is someone new he is in love with. He is constantly asking the women in the office for advice and tries to dominate every happy hour or mini-office hangout with it. No one gives a fuck.
Another one just now. "Fattus, did you get a chance to look at my email?" How many fucking times do I have to tell you I get about 2000 emails a day and if one needs attention either flag it Disagree. My current workplace has maybe 15 people here at any given time and it is waaaaaaaaaay better than any corporate office where I have worked.
My firm recently started doing this on a weekly basis because some associates in another office were slacking. Now, we get a weekly hourly report sent to the entire firm. It's fucking annoying.