that's like day 1 of boom/scissor lift school. Don't move them if the ground is wet. Can picture this guy kicking it into high gear and digging himself deeper with the most confused look on his face.
I ran a forklift into the bottom of the shop garage door my second time ever on one the other week. First time on one was the training class.
Coworker's 24ish year old daughter's boyfriend died of a heroin overdose a couple of weeks ago. Last week she was talking to another co-worker and made a joke that she had one less Christmas present to buy this year. Just for a little perspective the daughter just graduated from college in the spring and the boyfriend was set to start law school the following week. So they weren't, like homeless street kids. Pretty damn sad, IMO.
If the co-worker made that joke, that's fucked up. If she made the joke, good for her for being able to make jokes.
So the gal that sits in front of me is obviously crazy. Scars on her arms from cutting, cut from the army after a week in training, told me she’s bipolar, terrible grasp of the English language, etc. very nice gal, however. Real sweet. She talks a lot about modeling, and how she has shoots all the time. I indulge her because I keep it light and want to carry on with mindless banter so as not to kill my workplace vibe (I also hate my job but benes are real, real good). At any rate she’s all in on me following her insta page. She told me she’s been searching for me but she hasn’t found me yet, so I give her my handle and she starts following me. Whatever. Than she starts asking me why I haven’t followed back. I don’t really fuck with social media, post rarely, and tell her as much. Asks me if I’m a prude. She’s relentless, so I give her a mindless follow. A week or so later her new photos come up on my feed and good lord. I find this: Spoiler: NSFW And today she comes into work in a tiny leopard print dress with fucking sheer mesh at the bottom her tits. I stare at her every day, all day long in our cubicles. And I divert my eyes all day, uncomfortable AF. She went home early because she wasn’t feeling well or w/e. But the dress was like Angie Verona wearing a bikini two sizes too small and her tits flop out of the bottom. Fucking sucks. So I reported it to my bosses boss. Most uncomfortable day at work I’ve ever had. Dear diary.
Not the exact same scenario - but I've been stuck with a colleague of pretty similar attraction level if not worse that went above and beyond with how minimal her outfits were. Some were just flat out ridiculous that I'm not even sure where someone could purchase. Union hotel with a really aggressive contract to protect employees so basically we just had to endure it for months until she finally had a major mess-up with her work responsibilities. We used to have clients/customers ask if she was ok on an almost daily basis.
The cringiest thing about people who overuse phrases like that is you can tell they lack creativity so they rely on a couple of things learned by rote as crutches
Not really cringe or annoying, but a good spot. The guy in the cube in front of mine is explaining to two coworkers how to go to the airport, check in for a flight, etc. It’s interesting to me when adults (probably at least mid-30s) have not flown.
I really hate it when I'm quietly eating lunch by myself in the cafeteria and *insert literally any of our shitty salespeople here* walks in and goes "Jrmy did you bring anything for me HURR HURR DURR"
We have an old lady who asks everyone what they are eating at all times. She is the nosiest old bitch I have ever met. Drives me up a wall. You literally can't walk out the door without her asking where you are going or why you are leaving early. And if you tell her you're going to the doctor you better expect she will openly speculate about your health to anyone that walks by the second you walk out the door.
February and March we had a guy on the boat who would yell in his sleep constantly. Like violently arguing with people. Shit like "fuck you you pussy ass bitch" and similar violent threats along with normal talking. Multiple times a night. We just kinda got used to it. Dude was insane. He ended up quitting/we fired him after he basically faked an injury and refused to work. This August was pleasant sleeping.
there are a lot I don't like about the guy I share an office with; his taste in music, the alt-right political radio he listens to, his insistence on watching old episodes of the Match Game at his desk during lunch but it's his catchphrases that will drive me to murder him. When answering the phone: "KSLM, you're on the air" "Surgery, Gern Blanstan speaking" " (fill in the blank), YOU HANDSOME DEVIL" When making a phonecall to someone off sight; "Howdy hey and hoi hoi this is Crazy Larry calling you from Salem Memorial Hospital, located here in beautiful downtown Salem, the heart and capital of our wonderful state." if he's leaving a voicemail he always says "the time is bing-bong (fill in the blank time) sometimes he finishes with a bad Mike Myers impersonation "call me back, we'll talk about coffee, dawters, dawgs, you know no big whoop just Coffee Talk." if he is ending a call with an actual person, one of three catchphrases come out (Bad English accent) "See That You Do, GOOD Sir!!!" (Bad Elvis accent) "Uh I wanna thank ya, thank ya very much" or "In the immortal words of noted American, Greg Brady...Grrrrrroovy!!!" this is just the tip of the iceberg...amongst other things, he likes to answer the phone saying he's me. he also likes to tell people on the phone that "before my naked steaming eyes I have a (fill in the blank product he's trying to get a quote on)." and this is just his phone catchphrases and shit. His interactions with Staff are a completely different sight to behold
He does and my post doesn’t truly doesn’t do him justice. He’s kinda like a living, breathing episode of The Big Bang Theory. Just an endless stream of dumb catchphrases and poorly executed pop culture references
The idea that that person can drive a car and buy a gun and vote is a wildly depressing. I can't imagine what goes on in the mind of someone who operates like that every day. Im sure he thinks all that shit is hilarious
Crazy Larry is also balls deep into Disneyland and his workspace is plastered with Disney shit. He’s the guy you see at a concert or softball game wearing the Goofy hat complete with the ears that flop around
Crazy Larry is also a musician that records his own music and plays it in the office. He has ruined December for me by playing his “A Very Larry Christmas” album
Crazy Larry is also a Oregon Duck fan who doesn’t follow football and doesn’t understand why they don’t win more
We have an account manager who loves to use cliche fucking phrases in every call and in emails but puts quotations around them every time to really emphasize she’s being cliche as fuck. Even when she speaks she does it tonally. She literally cant help herself and can’t have a conversation or do something simple without doing it. It’s fucking bonkers and it’s makes her sound dumb as fuck.
Can you resend me that file Well I don’t want to *pauses for effect* “reinvent the wheel” *pauses for emphasis* Just send the fucking file
Oh it’s real and on top of that, he writes political parodies of other songs. He prints out the lyrics of them and hangs them in the bathroom stalls in our locker room
Crazy Larry also brings his food to work in a lunchbox like we all did when we were kids. Anytime anyone compliments him on his lunchbox, he corrects them by informing them it’s a “sustenance transportation device”