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Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Steve Championship, Jul 17, 2015.
Additional pro, no more office mate as well.
You don’t know. He might just jump in and start sucking the shit out of his dick.
-> HR has entered the chat
When you hear her knock, easy, pick up the phone and pretend you are talking with someone. When she barges in, point to the phone and Michael Scott her out of the office.
She is the type who will just sit down and wait for you to finish the call....and my office mate is the real problem because she is too nice to ignore her. I've gotten good about getting her out if my office mate isnt here. My go to is find an excuse to leave the office and stay out of it until she leaves (because she will hang around for you to come back). That's been the most effective. My office mate will make excuses to leave sometimes too, but like I said she gets some catholic guilt or something and feels bad trying to ditch her all the time
Have sex with the office mate and don't tell the lady about it
Best suggestion so far TBH
start giving her random tasks to do. "hey, since you're not busy, would you mind..." if she's going to be hanging out anyway, put her ass to work.
Funny you say that because my office mate was in court this morning so she is bugging the people in the office next to ours and one of them tried to give her an assignment and she said no, what else do you have?
She is the worst
wow. that's when i would've told her that i had a very important package that urgently needed to be picked up at the corner of get out of my office and go fuck yourself.
Suck her neighbor’s dick.
Office mate? YIKES
easy fix... next time she knocks
We decided to shut our door again today to try and keep her out, she starts texting my office mate about lunch at 11:59. Office mate still had a case up in court so she didnt respond and went to court. I end up going to lunch with someone else in our office, as I'm walking to the elevator with my coat on this lady literally jumps out of her chair at her desk and runs up behind me and asks "where are you going?" For fucks sake she is like a fucking stalker. Luckily when she realized I wasnt going to lunch with my office mate she didnt try and tag along, because I clearly was not inviting her.
Coworker laughs like Jack Nicholson’s joker and goddamn it is terrifying
One of my coworkers draped a giant gay pride flag over the desk of another coworker, who is definitely not gay, as a joke. HR now involved.
"What? It's just a harmless joke. Everyone is too sensitive these days" he said incredulously, despite us sitting through a 3 hour workshop on workplace diversity and being more inclusive like 3 weeks ago
Office mate has to suck
It’s amazing that people this dumb are out there
It's like a real life Michael Scott
My boss's boss is also the gayest gay guy I've ever met in my life so I bet that was a super fun meeting
This got me good
Plant cocaine in her drawer and tell your supervisor that she offered you some
If that's the case have you tried giving her an empty cardboard box? She may get the hint then
Caprese salad works well for this purpose.
I recently, to my surprise, found out that my boss I’ve worked with for two years is gay and is married.
When my coworker told me, she was a little concerned by my reaction because I said, “god dammit” and I think she thought I was being homophobic.
I then explained that I reacted that way because my wife (who this coworker knows because my wife worked at our company before leaving for her current job) often makes fun of me for being the least observant person in the world and now she’d never let it go if she found out.
So of course she immediately texted my wife and since then hasn’t stopped making jokes about asking if I happened to notice stuff.
And then he took off his maga hat and scratched his head before going back to work.
Should we be talking about this?
100% this guy still uses gay as an insult
Agreed. It’s the only way forward at this point
The dude actually hates Trump but is a "voting is pointless" guy
I've posted about him in here before I'm pretty sure. He punched a homeless person last year
need the homeless punch story please and thank you.
I knew a guy in college who punched a homeless guy late night after hours. I forget the details but there was a self defense argument, unfortunately the only witnesses were other homeless people so he got screwed
It's not very exciting. I work for Portland Parks so we have to deal with homeless people on a pretty frequent basis. Overnight camping isn't allowed in city parks for obvious reasons but it's not our job to be policing it, that's for park rangers and cops.
Anyway, the exchange went something like that
Coworker: "You can't be camping in the parks. You know this already."
Homeless Guy: "Hey fuck you, you're not a cop. You can't tell me what to do." (which is 100% correct)
And it escalated from there and they both threw a couple of punches. Both guys are in their 40s (I'm guessing) so they got tired pretty quick.
I used to work with a guy who would write Jay Bilas’s Jeezy lyric tweet on his whiteboard every single day.
I gotta go to work.
from henceforth I now view Joe_Pesci as this
What a loser
One of my coworkers never shuts the fuck up. Thank God I only have five more days there
The new girl who sits on the other side of my cubicle has a dry-heave laugh that she does after nearly everything she says.
This is bad.
Once poked at a co-worker for having lame inspirational quote on his whiteboard and compared him to Michael Scott's Wayne Gretzky quote.
Next time I walked by he had that on his white board. Pandering lil bitch.
This lady at work has to schedule a meeting with a client’s software vendor, which is in India. They’re having a hard time nailing down availability and she is just going off on a rant about Indians and this is an American company, so work on American time, can’t understand them and spell their names anyway, on and on. She’s a hick. This isn’t the first time she’s had one of these about a group of people. She’s also lazy as shit and will not do a thing outside of a very narrow scope, even though our job titles are the same and I know her job plus 3x more. I’m in month 5. She’s been here 7 years and our manager enables it.
Crazy Larry just got back from a week's stay at Disney World
His first complaint?
too many foreigners
It’s Disney World, not Disney USA.
Not sure what he expected since it's a small world after all.
It's also Brazilian teen school trip season. Parks are over-run with 13-16 year-old Brazilians.
Do you have this time of year marked on your calendar
Yes. He’s also not allowed within 300 yards of the Disney park gates.
mentally yes. Happened to us once. Never again.
Are there any other teen migrations we should be aware of?
Nope, just that one. It's quite terrible though.