Annoying/Cringeworthy things your co-workers do....

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Steve Championship, Jul 17, 2015.

  1. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint Drunk as an uncle in a Walmart parking lot
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    Additional pro, no more office mate as well.
     
  2. racer

    racer The biggest cheeseburger you’ve ever seen.
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    You don’t know. He might just jump in and start sucking the shit out of his dick.
     
  3. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    -> HR has entered the chat
     
  4. Dudley Dawson2

    Dudley Dawson2 Well-Known Member
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    When you hear her knock, easy, pick up the phone and pretend you are talking with someone. When she barges in, point to the phone and Michael Scott her out of the office.

    [​IMG]
     
  5. DetroitNole

    DetroitNole Well-Known Member
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    She is the type who will just sit down and wait for you to finish the call....and my office mate is the real problem because she is too nice to ignore her. I've gotten good about getting her out if my office mate isnt here. My go to is find an excuse to leave the office and stay out of it until she leaves (because she will hang around for you to come back). That's been the most effective. My office mate will make excuses to leave sometimes too, but like I said she gets some catholic guilt or something and feels bad trying to ditch her all the time
     
    dahldennsull and Dudley Dawson2 like this.
  6. JeremyLambsFace

    JeremyLambsFace For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    Have sex with the office mate and don't tell the lady about it
     
  7. DetroitNole

    DetroitNole Well-Known Member
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    Best suggestion so far TBH
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  8. Crepeswithasmile

    Crepeswithasmile Well-Known Member
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    start giving her random tasks to do. "hey, since you're not busy, would you mind..." if she's going to be hanging out anyway, put her ass to work.
     
  9. DetroitNole

    DetroitNole Well-Known Member
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    Funny you say that because my office mate was in court this morning so she is bugging the people in the office next to ours and one of them tried to give her an assignment and she said no, what else do you have?

    She is the worst
     
  10. Crepeswithasmile

    Crepeswithasmile Well-Known Member
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    wow. that's when i would've told her that i had a very important package that urgently needed to be picked up at the corner of get out of my office and go fuck yourself.
     
    Doc Louis likes this.
  11. DriveByBBQ

    DriveByBBQ Well-Known Member
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    Suck her neighbor’s dick.
     
    Baron, Doc Louis, Hurley 864 and 14 others like this.
  12. Houndster

    Houndster $25 Standard Unit
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    Office mate? YIKES
     
    thunderstruck and dahldennsull like this.
  13. dahldennsull

    dahldennsull Living in the best state
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    easy fix... next time she knocks

    [​IMG]
     
  14. DetroitNole

    DetroitNole Well-Known Member
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    We decided to shut our door again today to try and keep her out, she starts texting my office mate about lunch at 11:59. Office mate still had a case up in court so she didnt respond and went to court. I end up going to lunch with someone else in our office, as I'm walking to the elevator with my coat on this lady literally jumps out of her chair at her desk and runs up behind me and asks "where are you going?" For fucks sake she is like a fucking stalker. Luckily when she realized I wasnt going to lunch with my office mate she didnt try and tag along, because I clearly was not inviting her.
     
  15. Wu

    Wu LKY did nothing wrong
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    Coworker laughs like Jack Nicholson’s joker and goddamn it is terrifying
     
  16. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci yello
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    One of my coworkers draped a giant gay pride flag over the desk of another coworker, who is definitely not gay, as a joke. HR now involved.

    "What? It's just a harmless joke. Everyone is too sensitive these days" he said incredulously, despite us sitting through a 3 hour workshop on workplace diversity and being more inclusive like 3 weeks ago
     
  17. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Office mate has to suck
     
  18. SugarShaun

    SugarShaun Was once confused for BuckeyeRiot
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    It’s amazing that people this dumb are out there
     
    football501, Baron, Fecta23 and 20 others like this.
  19. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
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    It's like a real life Michael Scott
     
  20. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci yello
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    My boss's boss is also the gayest gay guy I've ever met in my life so I bet that was a super fun meeting
     
    dahldennsull, Wu and One Two like this.
  21. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    This got me good
     
    bertwing likes this.
  22. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    Plant cocaine in her drawer and tell your supervisor that she offered you some
     
  23. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    If that's the case have you tried giving her an empty cardboard box? She may get the hint then
     
  24. racer

    racer The biggest cheeseburger you’ve ever seen.
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    Caprese salad works well for this purpose.
     
  25. JeremyLambsFace

    JeremyLambsFace For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    I recently, to my surprise, found out that my boss I’ve worked with for two years is gay and is married.

    When my coworker told me, she was a little concerned by my reaction because I said, “god dammit” and I think she thought I was being homophobic.

    I then explained that I reacted that way because my wife (who this coworker knows because my wife worked at our company before leaving for her current job) often makes fun of me for being the least observant person in the world and now she’d never let it go if she found out.

    So of course she immediately texted my wife and since then hasn’t stopped making jokes about asking if I happened to notice stuff.
     
  26. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    And then he took off his maga hat and scratched his head before going back to work.
     
    Fecta23 and cutig like this.
  27. Houndster

    Houndster $25 Standard Unit
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    Should we be talking about this?
     
  28. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    100% this guy still uses gay as an insult
     
    Sub-Zero, LetItSoak and Joe_Pesci like this.
  29. TC

    TC #UofSC #SpursUp
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    Agreed. It’s the only way forward at this point
     
    Crepeswithasmile and bigred77 like this.
  30. Wu

    Wu LKY did nothing wrong
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    [​IMG]
     
  31. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci yello
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    The dude actually hates Trump but is a "voting is pointless" guy

    I've posted about him in here before I'm pretty sure. He punched a homeless person last year
     
  32. One Two

    One Two Send it!
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    need the homeless punch story please and thank you.

    I knew a guy in college who punched a homeless guy late night after hours. I forget the details but there was a self defense argument, unfortunately the only witnesses were other homeless people so he got screwed
     
  33. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci yello
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    It's not very exciting. I work for Portland Parks so we have to deal with homeless people on a pretty frequent basis. Overnight camping isn't allowed in city parks for obvious reasons but it's not our job to be policing it, that's for park rangers and cops.

    Anyway, the exchange went something like that
    Coworker: "You can't be camping in the parks. You know this already."
    Homeless Guy: "Hey fuck you, you're not a cop. You can't tell me what to do." (which is 100% correct)

    And it escalated from there and they both threw a couple of punches. Both guys are in their 40s (I'm guessing) so they got tired pretty quick.
     
  34. racer

    racer The biggest cheeseburger you’ve ever seen.
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    I used to work with a guy who would write Jay Bilas’s Jeezy lyric tweet on his whiteboard every single day.

    I gotta go to work.
     
    Baron, Lyrtch, Doc Louis and 15 others like this.
  35. dahldennsull

    dahldennsull Living in the best state
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    :usasmug:
    from henceforth I now view Joe_Pesci as this

    [​IMG]
     
  36. DuffandMuff

    DuffandMuff Well-Known Member
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    What a loser
     
    racer likes this.
  37. hood b. goode

    hood b. goode dankest memes around
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  38. Nandor the Relentless

    Nandor the Relentless Former Leader of Al Quolanudar
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    One of my coworkers never shuts the fuck up. Thank God I only have five more days there
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  39. spagett

    spagett Got ya, spooked ya
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    The new girl who sits on the other side of my cubicle has a dry-heave laugh that she does after nearly everything she says.

    This is bad.
     
  40. spagett

    spagett Got ya, spooked ya
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    Once poked at a co-worker for having lame inspirational quote on his whiteboard and compared him to Michael Scott's Wayne Gretzky quote.

    Next time I walked by he had that on his white board. Pandering lil bitch.
     
    Doc Louis, bigred77, Celemo and 3 others like this.
  41. racer

    racer The biggest cheeseburger you’ve ever seen.
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    This lady at work has to schedule a meeting with a client’s software vendor, which is in India. They’re having a hard time nailing down availability and she is just going off on a rant about Indians and this is an American company, so work on American time, can’t understand them and spell their names anyway, on and on. She’s a hick. This isn’t the first time she’s had one of these about a group of people. She’s also lazy as shit and will not do a thing outside of a very narrow scope, even though our job titles are the same and I know her job plus 3x more. I’m in month 5. She’s been here 7 years and our manager enables it.
     
  42. Celemo

    Celemo Meatball's Dad
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    Crazy Larry just got back from a week's stay at Disney World
    His first complaint?
    too many foreigners
     
    Baron, Crepeswithasmile, ARCO and 9 others like this.
  43. DuffandMuff

    DuffandMuff Well-Known Member
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    It’s Disney World, not Disney USA.
     
  44. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Not sure what he expected since it's a small world after all.
     
  45. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    It's also Brazilian teen school trip season. Parks are over-run with 13-16 year-old Brazilians.
     
  46. JeremyLambsFace

    JeremyLambsFace For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    Do you have this time of year marked on your calendar
     
  47. racer

    racer The biggest cheeseburger you’ve ever seen.
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    Yes. He’s also not allowed within 300 yards of the Disney park gates.
     
  48. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    mentally yes. Happened to us once. Never again.
     
    Lenin likes this.
  49. TC

    TC #UofSC #SpursUp
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    Are there any other teen migrations we should be aware of?
     
  50. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    Nope, just that one. It's quite terrible though.
     
    Lenin likes this.