Corporate Speak Thread_2024-01_Finalv11-GB.PPTX

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Gin Buckets, May 6, 2015.

  1. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    You mean your family doesn’t have 10-minute stand-ups daily?
     
  2. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    Sometimes when the old man gets a little Fox News-y at family dinner I tell him that, just to level-set, I don't currently have the bandwidth to address the elephant in the room right now so I'd love to circle back and touch base to continue to conversation offline because at the end of the day we're still family
     
  3. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay RaysJacksonville JaguarsTampa Bay Buccaneers

    Wow. Truly spoken like a guy who isn’t ready to open his kimono yet.
     
  4. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Nah we have 30 minute stand ups. And review a family-wide PowerPoint. We also hold regularly scheduled tactical and governance meetings.
     
  5. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay RaysJacksonville JaguarsTampa Bay Buccaneers

    My 8-year-old loves our weekly RACI updates.
     
  6. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    I actually had someone use this in a meeting recently and everyone in the room did a collective double take

    That one was new for me
     
    Boo MFer! likes this.
  7. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Iowa HawkeyesKansas City ChiefsLas Vegas Golden KnightsWatfordOlympicsFormula 1

    I have enrolled the fam in reality based rules. We’re about to ditch the drama.
     
    slogan119 and Boo MFer! like this.
  8. InZahnWeTrust

    InZahnWeTrust Well-Known Member
    Auburn TigersPhiladelphia PhilliesPhiladelphia 76'ersPhiladelphia EaglesPhiladelphia Flyers

    RACI? It’s all about DAIO now
     
  9. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    Florida GatorsTampa Bay RaysJacksonville JaguarsTampa Bay Buccaneers

    God, I don’t even know this one.
     
  10. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Iowa HawkeyesKansas City ChiefsLas Vegas Golden KnightsWatfordOlympicsFormula 1

    Hey don’t sit here and complain. SBAR it and move on to the A3.
     
    InZahnWeTrust and Boo MFer! like this.
  11. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    *Deck
     
  12. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    Just a few high-level slides. Nothing too granular.
     
  13. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Yeah, 30,000 foot view.
     
  14. InZahnWeTrust

    InZahnWeTrust Well-Known Member
    Auburn TigersPhiladelphia PhilliesPhiladelphia 76'ersPhiladelphia EaglesPhiladelphia Flyers

    Decision maker, advice giver, inform, owner

    I couldn’t find this anywhere on the internet so it’s totally made up
     
    Boo MFer! likes this.
  15. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Use DMAIC imo
     
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  16. slogan119

    slogan119 Her?
    Donor TMB OG
    Florida State SeminolesChicago CubsReal Madrid

    When one of my reps tries to delegate work to me, I ask them to define the problem and get me the data to support their position so I can defend the need for time/resources/changes. I’ve yet to even get that from anyone.
     
    southside and racer like this.
  17. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Iowa HawkeyesKansas City ChiefsLas Vegas Golden KnightsWatfordOlympicsFormula 1

    Are any of you baldrige golds?

    Or better yet, examiners?
     
  18. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Iowa HawkeyesKansas City ChiefsLas Vegas Golden KnightsWatfordOlympicsFormula 1

    We just got some new conference room scheduling screens and along with they renamed the rooms in the building. The board room is now officially TheMainBoardRoom
     
  19. Ty Webb

    Ty Webb Living rent free in Jigga's head
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    Nebraska CornhuskersChicago CubsChicago BullsDetroit LionsChicago BlackhawksTiger Woods

     
  20. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    They cleaned up names and it is now Main Boardroom. Not nearly as cool. I feel like we just got kicked off of SNL.
     
  21. steamengine

    steamengine I don’t want to press one for English!
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    Duke Blue DevilsHouston AstrosKansas City ChiefsLiverpool

    We were strategizing in a meeting this morning about how we can cater to millennial client audiences who typically jump from company to company and aren’t as loyal as the traditional Abe Simpson worker at the Mill.


    It took everything in my power to not drop a “women be shoppin!” and really frame the situation for everyone.
     
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  22. BellottiBold

    Donor
    Oregon Ducks

    In our office
    20190917_133219.jpg
     
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  23. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    LetItSoak and BellottiBold like this.
  24. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    Need Nandor the Relentless to design the logo for The TMB Room.
     
    slogan119, LetItSoak and PAHokie like this.
  25. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    What is this The TMB Room you speak of? I don't really pay any attention to this thread.
     
  26. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    Florida GatorsTampa Bay RaysJacksonville JaguarsTampa Bay Buccaneers

    Read The TMB Room, Shawn.
     
  27. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
    Donor

    That kind of language is frowned upon in the lizard's thicket.
     
    Hatfield likes this.
  28. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
    Donor

    It is much better than the movie
     
    Boo MFer! likes this.
  29. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    TMB Room needs some Fatheads

    :bamawarn::deerstandnotkneel::gooooo::yousoricky::jamalshewrote::yolo:
     
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  30. beist

    beist Hyperbolist
    Donor

    I just got a form with some instructions on how to use this new video interview tool and instead of John Doe or whatever the name they picked for the fake candidate was Beyonce Bogus.

    I like it when people have fun.
     
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  31. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
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    Florida GatorsTampa Bay RaysJacksonville JaguarsTampa Bay Buccaneers

    Well, you’re in the right place because we have fun here.
     
    Fecta23, Henry Blake, racer and 3 others like this.
  32. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    I actually have never once had fun here
     
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  33. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    I've just been pretending for years and I just can't do it anymore, not for one more second
     
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  34. beist

    beist Hyperbolist
    Donor

    Doing my first pre-recorded video interview now. The kid either forgot to turn his webcam on or had it blocked. I have like 12 of these to do.
     
  35. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    How does one do a prerecorded interview
     
  36. beist

    beist Hyperbolist
    Donor

    They get a list of questions and record themselves answering. I review the recording and rate them. And the questions are straight out of the HR behavioral interview template.
     
  37. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    That's sounds fucking awful. For both participants
     
  38. beist

    beist Hyperbolist
    Donor

    Yeah pretty much.
     
  39. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
    Donor

    That's relatively common now for large companies hiring lower level positions. Delta does it here in Atlanta along with some others I believe
     
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  40. Pasta88

    Pasta88 Canes, Bruins, Raps, Jays and Sunderland.
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    Miami HurricanesToronto Blue JaysToronto RaptorsBoston BruinsSunderland

    Yeah it’s common as the first round of the Big 4 campus hire interview process.
     
    beist likes this.
  41. beist

    beist Hyperbolist
    Donor

    I will say as an interviewer it saves me a ton of time. When we did the interviews live on campus it was a full day of ~10 interviews back to back to back with no breaks. That was a long day.
     
  42. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

    prerecordedlive
     
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  43. prerecordedlive

    prerecordedlive Sworn Enemy of Standard Time
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    Live.

    :hilldawg:
     
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  44. Ty Webb

    Ty Webb Living rent free in Jigga's head
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    "I'll follow up with everybody on a few of the followups"
     
    Sub-Zero likes this.
  45. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia Thought Leader in Posting
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    LSU TigersTexas RangersNew Orleans SaintsFulhamDulwich Hamlet

    "Did you get my email?"

    The one you sent 5 minutes ago? Calm down.
     
  46. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesTennessee TitansNashville Predators2pac

    This may be my biggest office pet peeve. I’m fine if you wanted to expand on something or point out something you forgot to mention, but damn hold on a second
     
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  47. Ty Webb

    Ty Webb Living rent free in Jigga's head
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    Nebraska CornhuskersChicago CubsChicago BullsDetroit LionsChicago BlackhawksTiger Woods

    For whatever reason there are a lot of people at my company that will call and leave a voicemail and then follow the voicemail up with an e-mail explaining the voicemail. It is maddening. The reverse happens as well.
     
  48. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

    Hate when you haven’t acknowledged someone’s email yet, then you pass by them in the hall. Awkward...
     
  49. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Iowa HawkeyesKansas City ChiefsLas Vegas Golden KnightsWatfordOlympicsFormula 1

    This is one of the big reasons I left my last job. I’d be in a meeting for 30 to an hour and get back to an email (either from my boss, or one she was cc’d) and a follow up email and Skype asking me to respond, then another telling me I need to be responsive in general, and usually a reply all with some bullshit wrong answer that made more work for me.

    Sorry I was actually engaged in the meeting I was in rather than reading emails. People can wait an hour. Shut the hell up.
     
  50. RockHardJawn39

    RockHardJawn39 #FranklinOUT
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