I had an employee from Puerto Rico once who had a very good but not 100% grasp of the English language. In a meeting he told a senior Vice President "we can take it outside" rather than "offline." Hilarity ensued
A good free space would be "it's (insert name)" on a conference call with 4 people where everyone knows each other's voices. You know what I mean. The person who says it before every comment they make like we don't know who you are.
Are you owning the master right now? Also the only square I can think that's missing from the Bingo is "Hey ______, could you stay on the line for a minute after we wrap up?"
Any of the LCD departments of the Big Banks will hire JDs. Wells Fargo probably has quite a few MRAs they need to clean up.
Not quite what this thread was about, but wanted to vent on these terrible 'inspirational' quotes I keep seeing on linkedIn. Here's the latest: 'If you think waking up, grabbing a warm cup of coffee, getting into the office around 8:30, checking your fantasy league & going home by 6 is working hard, then congratulations - you're going to be average the rest of your life.' I would argue that quantifying someone as 'average' based on them not working 100 hours a week and having interests outside of their career would be a much worse outcome than the above. Also, does posting/reposting quotes on linkedIn count as part of these people's 100 hours?
i feel like people who post that shit are just trying to justify working a job they don't like very much plus there's some irony in taking a shot at fantasy football while shitposting on linkedin
Sorry you're not good enough to get your work done in the lesser amount of time that I am. I always tell people "Don't wish it were easier, wish you were better."
The people posting that shit are definitely justifying, and I doubt they are much above average. You don't see folks who've "made it" it posting shit like that unless there's some ulterior motive to make the people working for them work harder.
Anyone watch the movie "The Circle" yet? Obvious issues with the movie aside, I'm bringing this movie up for when things are going well. So much cringe.
Also, while searching for this thread, I found a thread I started that featured this video. This is while I was an ECLP intern at GE back in 2011.
Shoulda replied with something like "Just wanted to be the first to congratulate you on the inevitable work burnout coming your way" Life's too short to constantly be working 70-80 hour weeks, fuck a load of that shit.
It did an ok job capturing some of the bad things about where I work but the movie was in general pretty shitty.
Conversely, the 200 employee department conference calls when a person calls in and says "so and so has joined." Dumbass, there are two hundred people on the call.
Nothing annoys me more than people who call in and don't properly assign their call in to the user name. Call in #1 Through Call in #14 Jesus fuck, webex is not that hard
I know this one well. We have two weekly calls that half my team fails to use properly. And, even more annoying is that the "call me" feature is available. Log in and hit call me. Nope.
I don't like how the 'mute' and 'toggle video' buttons are right next to each other on webex Was wfh today shirtless in bed on a call. Accidentally turning my video on would not have been cool.
Had a similar thing happen once, but I was wearing basketball shorts and a shitty t-shirt. I was home, sitting on my couch and tried calling someone with my soft phone. I could hear she picked up, but couldn't hear anything else, so I kept calling. Finally I gave up and emailed her, to which she replied, "Sorry we couldn't connect. The weirdest part was I could see you talking over your camera, but couldn't hear you." A post it note immediately went over the camera.
Being WebEx morons in 2017 is unacceptable. "OK Jim, I just passed control over to you." "Yup yup, now how do I share my screen again?" 5 minutes of walking dipshit Jim through how to share his screen He ends up sharing an application on two different monitors so you can't tell what he's actually sharing.
Email I just received. Flooded with corporate speak. "Thanks for catching me up to speed on this. For that particular issue we are working to re-align with the manager and get a few items straightened out so we’re not going to be adding any fuel to the fire at this time. I would be happy to stay in touch with you should that change and feel free to circle back with us in about a month to check in.This is a very high priority in our organization but we need to get a solid foundation established first. Best,"
"I think that's right" in response to literally everything when someone doesn't know the answer is an emerging one in this political and corporate climate where less and less people have any clue what the right answer is.
Jira is such a pos application it's slow as hell, the ui is not intuitive at all and it goes down all the time.
Once you get the hang of it, it's pretty useful. The problem is that it takes for fucking ever for most people to understand all the functionality and the logic behind how everything works. My team prefers TFS even though it has a lot less functionality, but it's Microsoft so the logic is familiar.
Alright guys let's be proactive with our approach this year so we aren't putting out fire drill after fire drill in 2018. Let's get some time on the calendar to set up some planning working sessions. [sets calendar] [punts on working session to put out fires]
The slowness kills me. Also the comment pop-ups every time I update a ticket status. Is there a way to turn that off?
You pry have a newer version because we don't get popups. We have email updates though, which I filter to the trash.
I need to do that. I wake up every morning with 20 emails informing me that a ticket was moved to test, then done, then back to ready for review, then reassigned, etc.
Jira is an Atlassian product for project management. TDCD are you using it hosted? Also one thing to note is that workflows are fully customizable but that a lot of people in my experience suck at doing *that*.
Ding ding ding...if you don't have a JIRA administration expert in house, you're never going to get it anywhere near optimized. It's a really shitty product unless you have people that know how to make it functional for different business needs. I use it as a workflow tool for my team, as does our IT department, but we also use it for project management, department websites, and various other things.
Also why does 'test' go before 'peer review' on the agile board? For us, 'test' means something is in our testing environment, meaning it has already been peer reviewed. If this can be changed let me know. It would really make my day
Oh sorry. Basically does your organization use it as a service hosted by Atlassian or do you run your own install of it in-house. I don't totally remember at the moment but there may be differences in the level of available customization between those two. Anyway my workplace uses it, but we have our own install and heavily customized workflows.
Currently 28min into a training module entitled, “Understanding and managing your Unconscious Bias” with 19min still remaining. Micro-advantages... Micro-inequities...
Today was day one of a 12 week Dale Carnegie course. One of the questions was how to deal with self doubt — Xanax was an answer. Class is going better than expected.