Corporate Speak Thread_2020-03_Finalv9-GB.PPTX

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Gin Buckets, May 6, 2015.

  1. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    If I ever forget what day it is, all I have to do it listen to the lady next to me. EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. I hear the same shit:

    Ugh, it's Monday that's how I'm doing

    It's not Monday so I have that going for me

    Huuuuuummmpp daaaayyyy!!!

    Happy Friday eve!!!!!

    It's Friday-daaaayyyy!!!
     
    ramszoolander, TC, 42yard and 13 others like this.
  2. Walt Disney

    Walt Disney #Dawgzy
    Donor TMB OG
    Georgia BulldogsManchester City

    Happy Humpday goose !
     
  3. Gin Buckets

    Gin Buckets Well-Known Member
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    I'm going to start doing the opposite...

    "It's Monday... I hate being away from here all weekend"
    "Four more days at the office!!"

    "At least we have one more day"
    "I can't believe it's already Friday :ohdear:"
     
  4. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    I will slit your throat
     
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  5. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Just kidding I don't mean that <3
     
  6. Gin Buckets

    Gin Buckets Well-Known Member
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    Another thing I've always wondered, do people that really really hate Mondays binge drink all weekend like I do? :idk: Seems like it would make sense if you're still hungover on Monday it indeed makes it THAT much worse than every other day. If you had a super Sunday Funday it can even seep into Tuesday.

    I ask, because whenever I DONT drink all weekend, Mondays really aren't that bad.
     
    #56 Gin Buckets, Jun 3, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2015
  7. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiBarAndGrill

    I'm going to assume the lady I sit next to doesn't binge drink all weekend, if ever.

    I agree with what you're saying
     
  8. Gin Buckets

    Gin Buckets Well-Known Member
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    Then she's utterly full of shit and has no idea what she's talking about. :twocents:
     
  9. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesTennessee TitansNashville Predators2pac

    Not so much corporate speak, but we're getting the dates for our deliverables for our annual plan. We just got a schedule yesterday. My boss just told me he's in a meeting and the dates are being changed already. Couldn't make it one whole day.
     
  10. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiBarAndGrill

    Pretty much just got this in a department wide email

    [​IMG]
     
    three stacks likes this.
  11. Hail Southern

    Hail Southern GATA Eagles!
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    Lets drop back and punt this one guys
     
  12. Hail Southern

    Hail Southern GATA Eagles!
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    Atlanta BravesAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern EaglesUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    My office is down the hall from my department's coffee pot. There are 2-4 people every day that get bent out of shape about something coffee related. Either someone did not re-fill the coffee pot after taking the last bit or someone turned the coffee pot off too early in the day (2pm). People have gone on witch hunts trying to find out who took the last cup of coffee and did not re-fill the pot. It's fucking coffee, everyone calm down.
     
    ColeTrickle and goose like this.
  13. DollarBillHokie

    DollarBillHokie Greatest Asset: being, like, really smart
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    Virginia Tech HokiesTiger Woods

    Does anyone own a Hawaiian shirt? I certainly don't.
     
  14. BamaNug

    BamaNug The journey itself is the point
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    Only 3
     
    bigred77 likes this.
  15. Flagpole

    Flagpole ps your cunt is in the sink
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    We asked somebody a question on a conference call today and we're met with silence. Turns out, they were on mute and didn't realize it! We all had a hearty laugh.
     
  16. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiBarAndGrill

    Happy Friday-dayyyy!!!!!!
     
    Walt Disney likes this.
  17. RoyalShocker

    RoyalShocker But I don't wanna be a Nazi
    Donor TMB OG

    That's kind of our office MO.

    "Good morning, Michael, how are you..."

    "I'm fantastic, there is not a place in the world where I would rather be than here right now in this office."
     
  18. CTownND

    CTownND Well-Known Member
    Donor

    the start of every conference call:

    Person A: "Is now still a good time to talk?"
    Person B: "Yes it is"
    Person A: "Good, how's the weather in that office?"
    **2-3 mins of small talk***
    Person A: "Alright, well let's get started..."

    I wish we just had a global vote to remove those 5-6 mins from every call.
     
  19. steamengine

    steamengine I don’t want to press one for English!
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  20. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Can we be friends?

    Didn't you just start the Coursera Python for Everybody? Just joined up for that too. I plan on learning python and trying to do statistical analysis/data analysis at my job. Having a couple guys from Elder Research come to our office this week to give a 3 day course on predictive analytics, data mining & some other stuff. pretty pumped.
     
    Walt Disney likes this.
  21. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    "I think John is on mute"
    John - "Oh, LOL, sorry guys, I was sitting here talking on mute"
    Call "lolololololol"
     
  22. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiBarAndGrill

    Is this a thread? Please tag me
     
  23. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiBarAndGrill

    We should all learn Python together
     
  24. Walt Disney

    Walt Disney #Dawgzy
    Donor TMB OG
    Georgia BulldogsManchester City

    That would be a dream come true

    what kind of industry/data are you in/using?

    I start my new job in a week where there are some elite tier Data Scientists on my team that I will get to help #yay
     
  25. Walt Disney

    Walt Disney #Dawgzy
    Donor TMB OG
    Georgia BulldogsManchester City

    :D

    we can all be facebook friends #pythonbroz
     
    goose and Where Eagles Dare like this.
  26. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Shipping/logistics.
     
    InZahnWeTrust and Walt Disney like this.
  27. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiBarAndGrill

    O rly? Like a distribution center?
     
  28. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    Our clients are people who ship stuff; parcel, truckload & ltl mainly w/ a little bit of international.

    We've talk about projects with clients moving DCs or placing DCs in certain locations based of their historical/projected shipping. So kinda.
     
    InZahnWeTrust likes this.
  29. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia slowly learning that life is ok
    Staff Donor
    FulhamLSU TigersNew Orleans SaintsTexas Rangers

    I can't remember the last time I was in a meeting with other department heads that didn't involve the phrase "Let's not try to boil the ocean" at least once.

    And then yesterday I was told, "that's a great idea, can you socialize that?" to which I responded, "I have no idea what that means"
     
  30. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiBarAndGrill

    Well if they'd like a conveyor/materials handling system let me know
     
    Where Eagles Dare likes this.
  31. Walt Disney

    Walt Disney #Dawgzy
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    that seems like a good data set t do predictive stuff with, you could be a huge standout in the company

    I know 'R' is a good Stat program that seems not too bad to use. I'm sure you can do everything in python also

    In college I would have never thought I would be drawn to programming and want to do that for my career
     
  32. TDCD

    TDCD Handling the Fisher account
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    What kind of previous knowledge should someone have before learning something like Python
     
  33. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    Yeah there is a lot of predictive and behavioral shit that you can do with shipping. I was brought in to build and run a predictive analytics team. So we are all starting frontage ground up.
     
    Walt Disney likes this.
  34. Walt Disney

    Walt Disney #Dawgzy
    Donor TMB OG
    Georgia BulldogsManchester City

    All I knew was SQL before trying to learn

    I think as long as you are good at approaching and solving problems and have an analytical mind you could be good at python
     
  35. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiBarAndGrill

    Happy Friday eve!!!

    Tomorrow is Hawaiian shirt and jeans day!!!
     
    Walt Disney likes this.
  36. Walt Disney

    Walt Disney #Dawgzy
    Donor TMB OG
    Georgia BulldogsManchester City

    last 2 days at my job - they better bring me a cake today
     
    Mambo Gook and goose like this.
  37. Gin Buckets

    Gin Buckets Well-Known Member
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    When it comes to corporate cliches, I caught myself saying one that might be one yesterday. I said "I don't have any meetings tomorrow, so I plan to play catch-up"

    Acceptable or unacceptable? I would lean unacceptable, but it's easier than saying the alternative with 5 extra words "I don't have any meetings tomorrow, so I plan to catch up on all of my work."
     
  38. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Happy hump day everyone
     
  39. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiBarAndGrill

    Anyone work with people in other time zones who suck at realizing you aren't in the same time zone?

    No I don't want to attend a call that starts at 6pm.
     
  40. Redav

    Redav My favorite meat is hotdog
    Donor

    "You guys looking forward to the end of this call so you can go to lunch? Lololololol"

    "It's 2:30 in the afternoon here."
     
  41. War Grundle

    War Grundle Nole Mercy
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    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay Rays

    I manage our US customer base so half of ours are central, mountain or west coast and at least once a week I get a GoToMeeting request for 12pm est from someone.
     
    goose likes this.
  42. War Grundle

    War Grundle Nole Mercy
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    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay Rays

    On of our top sales guys always seems to have a new cliche or phrase to throw out when selling our software. We have four different types of user licenses a company can purchase and instead of just saying that, lately I overhear him say:

    "We have several different flavors of licensing that will fit everyone's needs."
     
  43. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint It's like the Weimar Republic in that place
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    One of the projects I primarily work on is with people in my old office on the east coast. The only thing worse than people trying to figure out another time zone is adding the fact that Arizona is 3 hours behind during DST and 2 hours otherwise.
     
    Redav likes this.
  44. theriner69er

    theriner69er Well-Known Member
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    came here to post this. The TD43 comes in three different flavors; standard, medium, and high output.
     
  45. leroi

    leroi Rival Shark Boat Captain
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    Nothing specific. Its as good a language to begin programming with as any.
     
    Walt Disney likes this.
  46. Walt Disney

    Walt Disney #Dawgzy
    Donor TMB OG
    Georgia BulldogsManchester City

    I've been getting a lot better with it and have been using it everyday.

    I like it better than R with the Pandas library in python

    so far I've been able to; merge, union data, remove duplicates, email, format excel stuff, send emails all in python along with other data manipulation stuff.

    I'm working on one now to get a certain field out of the active directory in outlook for everyone in the company (>100k people). Sounds sketchy and hackerish
     
  47. Walt Disney

    Walt Disney #Dawgzy
    Donor TMB OG
    Georgia BulldogsManchester City

    leroi can you be my tmb stackoverflow plz and thank you
     
    leroi likes this.
  48. leroi

    leroi Rival Shark Boat Captain
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    yeah holler at me and i will do what i can to help. may want to start a new thread? idk

    [​IMG]
     
  49. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    Is it so fucking hard for people to open a fucking webex and get your damn key before calling into the meeting?

    I have a call and there are fucking 9 "Call In Users" where I have zero fucking clue who is speaking and 9 corresponding names with no voice or phone with their names.

    Call in user 7 is doing great intros right now.
     
  50. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    What causes this?

    This guy I work with always has this. His name will pop up as if he's viewing but his audio is call in user 69 or whatever