Corporate Speak Thread_2020-03_Finalv9-GB.PPTX

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Gin Buckets, May 6, 2015.

  1. TC

    TC Nice fucking jeans dude
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    "Engaged with": cc another person
     
  2. War Grundle

    War Grundle Nole Mercy
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    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay Rays

    Today we named our meeting rooms in our office to "Insightful" and "Agile".
     
    Lefthook, brolift, slogan119 and 13 others like this.
  3. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! UCF has a clown car of talent at RB and WR.
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    Who were the players involved in the rebrand? Was a RACI performed as part of the process?
     
    slogan119 likes this.
  4. racer

    racer Better call Saul!
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    Oh man, I imagine that your developers are going to be way less productive when they’re forced to use insightful methods instead.
     
    FTK, Boo MFer! and War Grundle like this.
  5. War Grundle

    War Grundle Nole Mercy
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    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay Rays

    We have a new CEO who started two months ago. He was formerly a VP of a management consulting firm. He has no backgorund in our industry. Hence we have a 90 person team building event on Wednesday where we have cards with "Integrity" Agilie" "Insightful" "Connected" and we have to label different aspects of how we do business.
     
  6. War Grundle

    War Grundle Nole Mercy
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    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay Rays

    Quit my old job. Start new one on Monday.
     
  7. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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  8. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennis

  9. racer

    racer Better call Saul!
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    Unicorn Stay-tuss
     
  10. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiBarAndGrill

    I host a daily standup :smug:
     
  11. War Grundle

    War Grundle Nole Mercy
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    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay Rays

    Love new job but my COO informed all department heads to not refer to their department as a team because the company is one team.
     
  12. racer

    racer Better call Saul!
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    Call it a ‘room’ like football teams.
     
    PAHokie, petey23, TC and 3 others like this.
  13. Hatfield

    Hatfield Charlie don’t surf
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    And that’s why he gets paid the big bucks folks
     
  14. slogan119

    slogan119 Her?
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    When I go to you asking “Hey, what’s your calendar look like for this project in early Dec?” it doesn’t mean “Please call our customer and ask if they would like it done in early Dec.”

    Fucking idiots.
     
    Lefthook, Doc Louis, racer and 3 others like this.
  15. og543ss

    og543ss ready to party? by party I mean smoke cigarettes
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    oof
     
  16. racer

    racer Better call Saul!
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    People kept saying this on a call just now. I’ve never heard it used. They were all at least 50.
     
  17. petey23

    petey23 Well-Known Member
    Chicago BlackhawksUSA RugbyMaryland TerrapinsPhiladelphia FlyersMinnesota WildMilwaukee Brewers altNebraska Cornhuskers

    My Boss uses this on occasion.
    Former Media Guy so he has a few good ones.

    Now we are cooking with gas!

    We need to pick up sales are we will be having wiener water soup.
     
  18. racer

    racer Better call Saul!
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  19. Skiddly

    Skiddly Well-Known Member
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    Just heard a "I'm glad you brought that up" which I took to really mean "This is the last thing I wanted to address you dipshit"