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Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Gin Buckets, May 6, 2015.
"Engaged with": cc another person
Today we named our meeting rooms in our office to "Insightful" and "Agile".
Who were the players involved in the rebrand? Was a RACI performed as part of the process?
Oh man, I imagine that your developers are going to be way less productive when they’re forced to use insightful methods instead.
We have a new CEO who started two months ago. He was formerly a VP of a management consulting firm. He has no backgorund in our industry. Hence we have a 90 person team building event on Wednesday where we have cards with "Integrity" Agilie" "Insightful" "Connected" and we have to label different aspects of how we do business.
Why do corporations speak the way they do?
Quit my old job. Start new one on Monday.
This is a great article. I'll forward it to the team to create some mindshare and hopefully gain alignment on its next steps.
Also I love the made up term "I'm going to banana boat the marketing budget" because I instantly started to rationalize it as a real thing. Which is the entire point.
I host a daily standup
Love new job but my COO informed all department heads to not refer to their department as a team because the company is one team.
Call it a ‘room’ like football teams.
And that’s why he gets paid the big bucks folks
When I go to you asking “Hey, what’s your calendar look like for this project in early Dec?” it doesn’t mean “Please call our customer and ask if they would like it done in early Dec.”
People kept saying this on a call just now. I’ve never heard it used. They were all at least 50.
My Boss uses this on occasion.
Former Media Guy so he has a few good ones.
Now we are cooking with gas!
We need to pick up sales are we will be having wiener water soup.
Pee or cum?
Just heard a "I'm glad you brought that up" which I took to really mean "This is the last thing I wanted to address you dipshit"
TABLE THAT FOR TOMORROW, FOLKS.
Nice to put a face with a name
Corporate Speak Thread - You're on mute
Gonna parallel path this one and see what we have bandwidth for in our perimeter
Happy path or sad path?
So the guy who said that...our team has been keeping a secret list of "-isms" he says. Trying to get our creative team to design a poster with all of his quotes
Just yesterday in the same meeting we got hit with "you want to buzz the tower on that"... "we're going to feel a little bit of chop"...and "we may need to pull the ripcord"
Yuck, yuck, and more gross yuck.
“We’re in the early innings here of our strategy plan.”
Also CEO is a triathlete
Holy fuck RACI charts aren’t just an abomination my company developed? I hate it so much.
got me too
Even ignoring that saving the vacation liability being the reason 99% of companies do this, unlimited PTO is the stupidest shit. If I can’t take the next five years off then there’s a limit in there somewhere.
The place I work just switched to this but called it something like “flexible time off” trying to sell it as we have more freedom to take days off (we pretty much did before) to distract from the fact the 50+ hours I had saved up are now just gone. Technically I don’t need to “use” PTO anymore but that would have been paid out whenever my time at the company was done, now it won’t.
Oh God no. RACIs have been around forever. And have always been equally as dumb.
The “long story short” or “in a nutshell” has been getting a lot of traction in my meetings...
And the “does that make sense” is also being used quite frequently for “this isn’t fucking hard, figure it out”
I can’t count then number of times I’ve started a sentence “So, basically, what’s happening is...” and followed it with “Does that make sense?”
Most people have no idea how technology works. They can just see that something isn’t what they wanted to see. They’re logically and technically stupid. So, basically, my job is to know how all of the parts and pieces work together on the back end to get to a certain outcome. Does that make sense?
Teamwork makes the dream work.
The absolute worst of the words/phrases to emerge the past few years.
I catch myself saying "does that make sense" too often and I feel like I'm talking down to the client
Worst case scenario is you listen to someone expound on shit you don’t care about. Keep it simple.
“Let’s not boil the ocean here”
One I've heard recently is "we need an athlete in this role" which mostly means "you'll do a bunch of shit that's not your job"
Never heard that one.
Worst case scenario is also used a shitload.
Since the rise of zoom and WFH.....
"Oh guys, it seems like we have a quorum, let's get started"
I’m torn between glad the world was introduced to my daily remote work life, and annoyed, wishing it was just left to the experts like myself.