Corporate Speak Thread_2021-01_Finalv10-GB.PPTX

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Gin Buckets, May 6, 2015.

  1. TC

    TC It’s a lawless nation for the flamingo
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    I’m glad I got a taste of it this year, because now I know I overall prefer working in an office
     
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  2. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! Better than Burrow last year good.
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    Florida GatorsTampa Bay RaysJacksonville JaguarsTampa Bay Buccaneers

    I automatically think less of someone who waves goodbye at the end of a Zoom call.
     
  3. TC

    TC It’s a lawless nation for the flamingo
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    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersSeattle Supersonics

    [​IMG]
     
  4. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
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    ... sorry, I was on mute for this zoom conversation (for the upteenth time). Let me start from the beginning...
     
  5. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    You need to turn in your millennial card
     
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  6. Flagpole

    Flagpole ps your cunt is in the sink
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    I throw double birds instead of waving bye
     
  7. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! Better than Burrow last year good.
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    Florida GatorsTampa Bay RaysJacksonville JaguarsTampa Bay Buccaneers

    I like the cut of this guy’s jib.
     
  8. Pasta88

    Pasta88 Canes, Bruins, Raps, Jays and Sunderland.
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    Miami HurricanesToronto Blue JaysToronto RaptorsBoston BruinsSunderland

    The people who prefer WFH instead of the office seem to fall into one or more of these categories: a. Dislike their coworkers b. Have a long commute c. Have a good home office set-up and d. Are super introverted.

    Anecdotally it seems like the 30-40 yr old demographic enjoys it the most, probably because a lot fall under b. and c. with rising home prices meaning many can only afford their dream homes a bit further out from the city.

    But flexibility is the way forward anyway.
     
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  9. Parab00n

    Parab00n Well-Known Member
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    Alabama Crimson Tide

    I fall into Category D, I thought I would love working from home and its not as great as I imagined. I'm sure it would better if my 3 loud ass kids were in school and not home all the time.
     
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  10. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
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    I don't fall into any of those buckets and I definitely prefer WFH. Mainly because of the flexibility it affords me to do other shit at slow times. I can clean, do laundry, house projects, work out, etc. that I can't do when I'm sitting in an office 40 hours each week.
     
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  11. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
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    I have enjoyed doing a hybrid schedule. No way I could strictly work from home but being in the office for 40+ hours a week is for the birds. I've currently adopted the work till 11-12 at the office, work from home in the afternoons. My position allows me to do this which is great.

    I'm usually able to go to the gym between 11-1 and then just go home from there. I'm usually in the office around 6am every am and work until at least 5 every evening.
     
  12. Gin Buckets

    Gin Buckets Well-Known Member
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    E) What used to be wasted time in the office is now wasted time at home, which makes it all worth it.

    That's where I'd fall if I was WFH all the time.
     
    #1362 Gin Buckets, Jan 15, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2021
  13. BellottiBold

    Donor
    Oregon Ducks

    Not an introvert
    Don't dislike coworkers
    Do enjoy being able to do things like ono mentioned
    Very much appreciate being in total control of my environment - no concerns about how loud anything I'm doing is and conversely when I require silence I get it. One of the revelations for me is that when I'm in problem solving mode I talk to myself - a lot. And if I'm in an office I'm self conscious about that and try not to be "caught" but at home that's not a thing obviously, and it's incredibly freeing.
    Feel completely unencumbered by the "remote" aspect of things. (It doesn't hinder anything about my work, and communication with coworkers seems like a non-issue)
     
  14. steamengine

    steamengine I don’t want to press one for English!
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    Houston AstrosHouston RocketsLiverpoolTexas Tech Red Raiders altHouston Oilers

    My boss keeps asking me what I want out of a work environment “when all of this is over”. I’m still trying to figure out how to answer that question.
     
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  15. DriveByBBQ

    DriveByBBQ Well-Known Member
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    Alabama Crimson TideTiger WoodsBirmingham LegionPGAGrateful DeadUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    At some point, probably early fall, WFH became LAW (living at work). Never thought I'd say it, but I miss the watercooler/hallway conversations the most. I get too far inside my head feeling out of the loop which causes anxiety and I need the casual conversations for affirmation. I like the hybrid model, but there's something beneficial for me to get out of the house instead of walking across the hall in my bathrobe every morning at my leisure and sitting at my desk. Every day is a snow day.
     
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  16. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiBarAndGrill

    Im 40-50% travel and the travel is to where the people are working. A job like mine WFH works
     
  17. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    I'm in b/c, but it isn't the main reasons.

    Atlanta traffic sucks anywhere, I live in town. I'd also just like to not commute/spend time getting ready/having to get dressed vs just walking to my office and working.

    Virtually everything I can do at home I can do in a cube. I don't want to go there.
     
  18. DuffandMuff

    DuffandMuff Well-Known Member
    Tampa Bay Lightning

    I like my coworkers, have a short commute, have a shitty home office setup and am extroverted. However, I love WFH because all the down time I have (90% of my day) is now spent at the beach/park/working out/groceries/cooking and not just sitting at my desk.
     
  19. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint It's like the Weimar Republic in that place
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    Penn State Nittany LionsGreen Bay PackersChelseaHartford WhalersPhoenix Rising

    No, * see below, hell no, yes

    *At the beginning of my career I had a 10 or less minute commute but rent became prohibitive so I moved back in with my parents for a year before relocating where I had an 1:15-1:30 commute each way. Then for 5 years my commute was a 5-15 minute walk or mass transit ride. Now it's about half an hour driving each way and I don't know if that's considered "long" or not. I don't personally find it offensive having been at both extremes.

    Having spent nearly a year working from a barstool at the island in my apartment because there's no room for a desk has been shitty but I enjoy the fact I can take 2 hours to watch a mid-afternoon Chelsea match on my couch instead of half-paying attention at my desk, etc. Even once we go back to the office we decided as a department we're going to work 2-3 days a week at home since there's really no reason not to now that we know we can.
     
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  20. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    Anyone's coworkers start using calendar as a verb?

    "That's going to be a big group, it'll probably be hard to calendar everyone"
     
  21. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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  22. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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  23. racer

    racer Fuck Tucker, Tucker sucks.
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    Gonna be a whole lot more now that everyone is going to permanently FOMO them.
     
  24. BamaNug

    BamaNug The journey itself is the point
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    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesNew Orleans Saints

    This is used pretty regularly in my industry.

    Am I a baddie?
     
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  25. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    Yes
     
  26. CC

    CC Waiting for moments that never come
    Donor TMB OG
    Miami HurricanesLos Angeles Dodgers

    Just got this one as a "best practice" for creating some social ads :facepalm:

    Unlock placement optimization by developing corresponding assets for both IG Feed and IG Stories which will allow for streamlined execution and ultimately allow the brand to unlock additional efficiencies
     
  27. TC

    TC It’s a lawless nation for the flamingo
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    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersSeattle Supersonics

    Holy shit. I feel seen
     
  28. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennis

    I'm in marketing and I manage national media plans and I have only the slightest idea what the fuck that means

    My best guess is simply "make shit the right size for Instagram AND stories. "
     
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  29. BellottiBold

    Donor
    Oregon Ducks

    It's literally "make sure you're posting the same shit on both channels with the assets properly optimized for each (...because good)"
     
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  30. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    ah I was close. I glossed over "corresponding". But generally I love the galaxy brain social media/digital people who say a whole lot of words to say "make creative ads that work". Same principles as other channels but because they can use real-time optimization tools (a lot of which suck ass by the way) you get wonder-paragraphs like that one posted.
     
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  31. CC

    CC Waiting for moments that never come
    Donor TMB OG
    Miami HurricanesLos Angeles Dodgers

    Yeah, in shocking news it came from the media agency.
     
  32. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    one pitching you business or one you regularly work with? Once working together I would hope not to get something like that. Juat tell me your plan calls for IG and you need 4 creative versions.
     
  33. CC

    CC Waiting for moments that never come
    Donor TMB OG
    Miami HurricanesLos Angeles Dodgers

    We share a client but don’t speak regularly. It was at the bottom of a long email which essentially said we need a few pieces of creative that will work for both stories and feed. All to often people forget the word brief in creative brief.
     
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  34. TC

    TC It’s a lawless nation for the flamingo
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    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersSeattle Supersonics

    "Hey there"

    Grinds my gears when someone starts an email like this. Anyone else? Feels very impersonal and dickish. Feel the same way about signing off with "Best,"
     
  35. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    Colorado BuffaloesFlorida GatorsTampa Bay Lightning

    I’d take that over “hey/hi team” for 10,000 e-mails
     
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  36. TC

    TC It’s a lawless nation for the flamingo
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    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersSeattle Supersonics

    We have someone in our department that writes "Dear Thomas Cooper" instead of "Dear Tom" or "Tom," or whatever. I think they might be on the spectrum
     
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  37. racer

    racer Fuck Tucker, Tucker sucks.
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    Dear at work? Nah.
     
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  38. War Grundle

    War Grundle Nole Mercy
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    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay Rays

    Company signature template is same for everyone and they chose “Best”.
     
  39. TC

    TC It’s a lawless nation for the flamingo
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    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersSeattle Supersonics

    "Best" to me says "Fuck you, and that better be it on this exchange."
     
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  40. Pasta88

    Pasta88 Canes, Bruins, Raps, Jays and Sunderland.
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    Miami HurricanesToronto Blue JaysToronto RaptorsBoston BruinsSunderland

    Never liked “Best” or “Warm/Kind Regards”. You wouldn’t say that in-person so why in an email? Just customize it based on the subject matter and context, which allows you flexibility e.g. the GOAT Friday sign-off of “Have a great weekend,”.
     
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  41. PAHokie

    PAHokie Can't a bitch living say I bought her Michael Kors
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    Virginia Tech HokiesPittsburgh PenguinsAtlanta Braves

    I always throw Thanks, on all my emails. There is no “good” way to do it.
     
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  42. TC

    TC It’s a lawless nation for the flamingo
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    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersSeattle Supersonics

    Thanks is solid. Sincerely is my go to
     
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  43. Pasta88

    Pasta88 Canes, Bruins, Raps, Jays and Sunderland.
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    But are you really sincere tho?
     
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  44. racer

    racer Fuck Tucker, Tucker sucks.
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    I have quick parts for like 90% of my replies. They all end

    Thanks!
    Racer

    on top of my signature to make it look like I personally added that to make them feel good.
     
  45. TC

    TC It’s a lawless nation for the flamingo
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    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersSeattle Supersonics

    Pretty much. But also that just feels like the most standard/neutral farewell. Guess that's what we learned in school back when you had to learn to draft business letters
     
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  46. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    Thanks- = professional
    Thanks! = Serial killer
     
  47. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    :peekaboo:
     
  48. TC

    TC It’s a lawless nation for the flamingo
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    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersSeattle Supersonics

    "Hi team" doesn't bother me but 10k emails does. Get out my face with anything but an action item
     
  49. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia slowly learning that life is ok
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    LSU TigersTexas RangersNew Orleans SaintsFulhamWrexham AFCDulwich Hamlet

    I prefer for people to think I'm a serial killer. Keeps them on their toes
     
  50. TC

    TC It’s a lawless nation for the flamingo
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    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersSeattle Supersonics

    -Remember when Eric The Viking started posts like this and it drove people crazy
     
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