Corporate Speak Thread_2024-01_Finalv11-GB.PPTX

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Gin Buckets, May 6, 2015.

  1. Pasta88

    Pasta88 Canes, Bruins, Raps, Jays and Sunderland.
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesToronto Blue JaysToronto RaptorsBoston BruinsSunderland

    If every day is to feel like Saturday then I wouldn’t be doing any work at all
     
    Hatfield, TC and BamaNug like this.
  2. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

    I get faded af on Saturday
     
    Icculus is a Bammer likes this.
  3. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
    Donor

    I'd think someone screwed that up and meant to say it affects part of your performance bonus or whatever. Not that you're getting a 25% cut in compensation.
     
  4. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesKansas City ChiefsLas Vegas Golden KnightsWatfordOlympicsFormula 1

    Anyone a Salesforce admin or dev? Work is offering to cover time/cost of certs. Do you enjoy it or hate your life because of it? I use SF and my work background falls more in the system architecture and and data areas.
     
  5. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesMiami MarlinsMiami DolphinsMiami HeatPoker

    Hi TMB, just touching base regarding that thing I asked you to fucking do days ago. Are you done yet? Thanks!
     
  6. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington Football TeamAtlanta United

    Hold up, I'd to double click on this idea and drill into it.
     
    shaolin5 likes this.
  7. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
    Donor TMB OG

    I’ve been drinking all day. My boss is OOO tomorrow.

    Sick day tomorrow?

    Yep
     
    slogan119, 2, TC and 4 others like this.
  8. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Colorado BuffaloesFlorida GatorsTampa Bay Lightning

    you’re WFH. sounds like no sick day to me…
     
    slogan119, 2, kinghill and 2 others like this.
  9. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
    Donor TMB OG

    A few more bourbons and I’m not sure my fingers will let me login tomorrow.
     
  10. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Colorado BuffaloesFlorida GatorsTampa Bay Lightning

    I’d just like to humble brag that my 10,000 person company is having a global shutdown Monday and Tuesday for mental wellness. I’m going to pour another drink.
     
  11. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesMiami MarlinsMiami DolphinsMiami HeatPoker

    lol yeah sure except for front line folks on the phones of course

    or just outsource that for 2 days and deal with the aftermath?
     
  12. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Colorado BuffaloesFlorida GatorsTampa Bay Lightning

    the people who have to staff our 24/7 facilities get 2 PTO days for use at a later date.
     
    slogan119 and kinghill like this.
  13. The Hebrew Husker

    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersSeattle MarinersColorado AvalanceWWENebraska Cornhuskers alt

    Is this the thread where I can complain about having to go in-office 3 days a week (minimum) starting tomorrow
     
    slogan119, ohhaithur, Redav and 2 others like this.
  14. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesMiami MarlinsMiami DolphinsMiami HeatPoker

    that’s good
     
  15. Upton^2

    Upton^2 blocked just a park away, but I can't really say
    Donor
    Clemson TigersAtlanta BravesCharlotte HornetsCarolina PanthersArsenal

    Depends on the synergistic gains that can be achieved.
     
  16. steamengine

    steamengine I don’t want to press one for English!
    Donor
    Duke Blue DevilsHouston AstrosKansas City ChiefsLiverpool

    Might as well do it if they’re covering it. So many customized CRM applications or manual processes are being replaced by Salesforce it could be to your advantage in the long run.
     
    War Grundle and racer like this.
  17. War Grundle

    War Grundle Nole Mercy
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay Rays

  18. The Hebrew Husker

    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersSeattle MarinersColorado AvalanceWWENebraska Cornhuskers alt

    Update on this. Ive been going in randomly with 2-3 other guys since probably mid April. Randomly a couple months ago they started renovating the offices a floor below us (not sure why they waited lol) but some days the noise is unreal. Figured they’d be done before our mandatory return this week, but got an email from my boss saying if we want to wait to come in until the construction/noise is done we can. Still waiting on the ETA for this construction to be done, but just a comedically hot start to this return to work.
     
  19. War Grundle

    War Grundle Nole Mercy
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay Rays

    Our office today is making masks mandatory again In common areas regardless if you are vaccinated.

    I’m still going to be going in three days a week but I know a few people who are already going to go back full-time remote.
     
    slogan119 and mangler like this.
  20. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesKansas City ChiefsLas Vegas Golden KnightsWatfordOlympicsFormula 1

    Got sent back 100% remote starting tomorrow, unless you want to come in.

    :praisehim:
     
  21. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksAtlanta FalconsPGA

    Our company implied that they are on the verge of making it mandatory to be vaccinated to come in site.

    they are starting to require face masks again at certain locations as well.
     
  22. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
    Donor

    I'd lie about being an antivaxxer so I didn't have to come in
     
    Doc Louis, racer and bturns like this.
  23. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
    Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksAtlanta FalconsPGA

    This would be a great idea except that you had to turn in vaccination records earlier if you wanted to return to the site about 3 months ago. This is manufacturing so the close proximity to people has made it a huge liability.
     
  24. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

    Your company tried to DENNIS system you?
     
    slogan119 and Doc Louis like this.
  25. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideSeattle MarinersAtlanta BravesNew Orleans Saints

    two different episodes :comicbookguy:

    I think
     
    AubCabs and TC like this.
  26. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
    Donor
    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

    The setup was there but I mishandled the execution
     
    BamaNug likes this.
  27. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! No longer a cog in some powerhouse machine
    Donor
    Florida GatorsTampa Bay RaysJacksonville JaguarsTampa Bay Buccaneers

    Certainly not the first time someone from U of SC has bungled a chip shot.

    E5042B37-2C0B-47CE-9F55-B1AC57909C65.jpeg
     
  28. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesMiami MarlinsMiami DolphinsMiami HeatPoker

    I know you’re busy, but...
     
    Oranjello and Henry Blake like this.
  29. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesTennessee TitansNashville Predators2pac

    I work for a health system and we’re requiring everyone to be vaccinated by 10/1 or you’re suspended without pay.
     
  30. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennisSneakersBig 12 Conference

    Our company was really conservative having people back and we are still only back in the office part time 2x a week with different teams in on different days.

    But they've been really slow shutting things back down or making any changes with things surging (hi from Florida) which is pretty surprising. I'd guess a lot of bosses who took the step really don't want to walk it back now even if they were careful.
     
  31. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesMiami MarlinsMiami DolphinsMiami HeatPoker

    Teamwork makes the dream work! :smile:
     
    BayouMafia and War Grundle like this.
  32. War Grundle

    War Grundle Nole Mercy
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay Rays

    My old boss said this all the time.
     
  33. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesMiami MarlinsMiami DolphinsMiami HeatPoker

    Connectivity/IT issues a real pain at times with WFH.
     
    FTK likes this.
  34. Corky Bucek

    Corky Bucek Placeholder for a Custom Title
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Auburn TigersLos Angeles LakersLos Angeles RamsAnaheim DucksManchester UnitedLos Angeles Angels of Anaheim

    Sends the excel document without the formulas, so it’s like guessing what is there. Can’t make any adjustments if needed or play different scenarios out.
     
    War Grundle and racer like this.
  35. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesKansas City ChiefsLas Vegas Golden KnightsWatfordOlympicsFormula 1

    I like when they leave the formulas but changes a bunch of things afterward so you get bad values or formulas that don’t even work.
     
  36. Goose

    Goose Hi
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsReal MadridXavier MusketeersDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiPGA

    I had someone send me one the other day with vlookups referencing an outside spreadsheet. Thanks guys
     
  37. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennisSneakersBig 12 Conference

    Update. They shut it down until October.
     
  38. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
    Donor

    I've sent someone shit referencing an outside workbook before. Forgot to paste values. Whoops
     
  39. Goose

    Goose Hi
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsReal MadridXavier MusketeersDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiPGA

    Common support staff mistake
     
  40. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
    Donor TMB OG

    I am officially 95% wfh for the foreseeable future. (My overlords said the work situation will be re-evaluated every few years.)

    On one hand, this setup is so much better for me and my family. On the other hand, I wonder if never leaving my house will erode my mental health over time.
     
  41. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
    Donor

    Take all the time you would've spent commuting/being miserable and leave your house
     
  42. BellottiBold

    Donor
    Oregon Ducks

    my overlords are being aggravating and irrational by defining our "hybrid" arrangement as one with a set 3 days in, 2 remote schedule (where M/F are remote). Like it's an improvement over having no WFH but they also can't come close to justifying not letting us simply stay remote full time and it bugs the shit out of me to think about them making this sort of decision "just because"
     
  43. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
    Donor TMB OG

    I’m an introvert that much prefers to be at home. I don’t need much more than my family as far as interactions go either. This makes it easy to go 3-4 days without leaving.

    It’s just going to take an effort to stay on top of ensuring my world is more than my house long term.
     
    ohhaithur likes this.
  44. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
    Donor
    Iowa HawkeyesKansas City ChiefsLas Vegas Golden KnightsWatfordOlympicsFormula 1

    I leave during the work day to go to the store or other random things.
     
  45. Goose

    Goose Hi
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsReal MadridXavier MusketeersDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiPGA

    A well timed walk has done wonders for my mental health. Not looking forward to winter
     
  46. Barves2125

    Barves2125 "Ready to drive the Ferarri" - Reuben Foster
    Donor TMB OG
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesManchester CityBirmingham LegionUnited States Men's National Soccer TeamPoker

    I have been WFH since the start of COVID. When I'm stressed or need a break, I just go play with my dog in the backyard for 5-10 minutes and then come back inside and continue working. I don't think I want to ever go back to being in office primarily and my spoiled dog sure as shit doesn't want me to.
     
  47. Pasta88

    Pasta88 Canes, Bruins, Raps, Jays and Sunderland.
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesToronto Blue JaysToronto RaptorsBoston BruinsSunderland

    Without knowing what you do or how your company operates, that policy seems fair :twocents:
     
    Sub-Zero likes this.
  48. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennisSneakersBig 12 Conference

  49. DuffandMuff

    DuffandMuff Well-Known Member
    Tampa Bay LightningSan Diego Padres

    Was supposed to go back 9/13. That has now been delayed indefinitely.

    We’ve been told it will be a hybrid model when we return. Have to come in the office at least two days a week. I chose Tuesday and Wednesday. Hope that works out.
     
    Goose likes this.