Corporate Speak Thread_2024-01_Finalv11-GB.PPTX

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Gin Buckets, May 6, 2015.

  1. BellottiBold

    Donor
    Oregon Ducks

    It's not a question of fair or not fair.
    I'm challenging them to have actual rationale for their decisions and they are failing to articulate anything convincingly, which is negatively impacting my morale (and opinion of my management) ...and I am not alone.
     
    leroi likes this.
  2. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
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    Pulls back the veil that any higher ups know what they're doing or act with any kind of logical purpose. I'm familiar with this from my job
     
  3. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    I have doubts that your management folks are saying “just because”.
     
    DollarBillHokie likes this.
  4. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
    Donor TMB OG

    I think there are risks to full time wfh on both sides. The benefits far outweigh those risks imo on both sides, but…

    If operations weren’t quantifiably impacted by wfh over the last 18 months then I’m not sure what the reasoning could be outside of distrust/power.
     
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  5. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
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    Lots of them very literally are.
     
  6. The Hebrew Husker

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    Yeah my work told us how efficient we’ve been working from home and how surprised they were that it worked the way it did, etc.

    Then they put people into like 3-4 groups in terms of who had to return which resulted in questions in itself. Now, my group is told we are required to be there a minimum of 3 times a week. Others are full time WFH, others are 2x a week in office, others full time in office. No one ever really gave a rationale on any of it.
     
  7. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Executives are slippery slopers.

    Also an ego thing. Their idea of success is based on how they did it, and their ego programmed to fight off anything that challenges their idea of success.
     
  8. Upton^2

    Upton^2 blocked just a park away, but I can't really say
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    Ours go with “we are an in the office company”
     
  9. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    And they have to justify paying so much for office space that isn't used or, surprise, as needed as they thought and were told it was.
     
  10. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    Aaaaaaaand some anti-vax loons are coming to protest at my office today :laugh:
     
  11. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
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    It may not be "just because," but just a bunch of empty platitudes that lack any substance -- such as "we're an in-the-office company" or "firm culture;" or "to build camaraderie."

    In my opinion, a lot of CEOs/Executives treat it as more than just a full time job, it has to encompass their entire identity, and they want the same from their employees.

    Nah dude.
     
  12. Drew63

    Drew63 Well-Known Member

    Emory?
     
  13. Upton^2

    Upton^2 blocked just a park away, but I can't really say
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    Oh I completely agree. Just saying that’s how they’re phrasing it.
     
    BamaNug likes this.
  14. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Just because we were idiots and didn’t think ahead in 2018 when we dumped a bunch of money into new office space and now we’re going to force you sit in it even though technically it’s going to cost us more to keep it fully open and maintain it.
     
    slogan119 likes this.
  15. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    Nah, Northwest of town. I’m sure all the big players will get protested too
     
    Drew63 likes this.
  16. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
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    My company could save a ton just on space rental and then not having to heat/cool/clean/etc that area. I mean they could give themselves that money in raises. It makes no sense
     
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  17. hood b. goode

    hood b. goode B I O I N B I O
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    So many of them are robots with no hobbies aside from kids

    I got so many snide comments from working remotely in mexico for a few weeks
     
  18. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    I think what made our WFH so productive was that we were in the office beforehand. I don't think id be as comfortable having never met my team in person or had some level of in-person relationship building. I could be in the minority or naive about that, but just thinking it through.
     
    FTK, BellottiBold, Pasta88 and 2 others like this.
  19. DuffandMuff

    DuffandMuff Well-Known Member
    Tampa Bay LightningSan Diego Padres

    We break ground on a new office building in October. It was designed as a four story building. There was talk last year about making it three stories. They’re sticking with the original plan.
     
  20. Pasta88

    Pasta88 Canes, Bruins, Raps, Jays and Sunderland.
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    Exactly, and it’s part of the reason why I’m bearish on the long term viability of full time remote work (unless the company is fully remote). I think it’s way easier when a. you already know your coworkers and b. nearly everybody is also working remotely. These won’t exist as time goes on in the post covid world.

    If you’re expected to work full time in the office with no flexibility, then sure, complain about the old boomers. But a reasonable hybrid model is perfectly fine imo, and working in the office a few days a week doesn’t mean work consumes your life. I personally like the hybrid model and wouldn’t want to work for a fully remote company long term nor a full-time in the office with no flexibility company.
     
    Sub-Zero and Marbles like this.
  21. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Defund the offices.
     
  22. Skiddly

    Skiddly Well-Known Member
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    Guy at my plant got a COVID test over the weekend. Management told him to come back to work while he waited for results.

    He got them back today at lunch. Positive. No masks at all in the building. He delivers parts to each work cell, he's in contact with almost everyone on the floor.

    I'd estimate the plant is about ~25% vaccinated.

    [​IMG]

    On a positive note I got a new job and only have a week left at this hell hole.
     
  23. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Saw one of your belt curves the other day
     
    Skiddly likes this.
  24. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
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    He came back to work while he waited on the results

    :ded:
     
  25. Skiddly

    Skiddly Well-Known Member
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    Airport?
     
  26. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    E-com. Target
     
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  27. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
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    Dude's been spreading that shit everywhere for 2 1/2 days
     
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  28. momux

    momux AFAM Scholar
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    The executive sound bite for the last 9 months has been "we don't know what it's going to be like post-pandemic, but we know it won't be the same" which is a really nifty way to say we have no idea what's going on and you're all coming back into the office.
     
    slogan119, BellottiBold and racer like this.
  29. BellottiBold

    Donor
    Oregon Ducks

    Sub-Zero your point is a good one and I admit one that I hadn't previously considered. Not having to figure out how to communicate effectively with my immediate peers (know the proper tone, etc etc) is certainly a huge advantage...

    Buuut, otoh - I could easily see this just playing out as everything else has - we never stopped to figure out whether this shit was viable and, I actually strongly suspect that if we're faced with the scenario, we may find that we're just as capable of acclimating to a new organization and/or role "digitally" as we ever were in person. (Granted I'm assuming for alllll of this that we're talking about the kind of "knowledge workers" (gag) who pretty exclusively deal with digital tools if they are in the office to begin with.)
     
    Sub-Zero likes this.
  30. BellottiBold

    Donor
    Oregon Ducks

    TBH the management relevant to my situation is saying we're not staying full remote because the larger org is not staying full remote. (Meanwhile there are other parts of said larger org that are in fact shifting to full remote)
    My problem is that it's all bullshit completely divorced from the actual question of business objectives and productivity. If you can make the case that we've been functioning at a lower level over the past year, I will listen intently - but they can't, because it isn't remotely (hah) true, and in fact it seems to a lot of us to be quite the opposite.
     
    kinghill likes this.
  31. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    don't worry guys...the Zuck has us covered with things we all definitely want.

    upload_2021-8-19_10-41-55.png
     
    racer likes this.
  32. hood b. goode

    hood b. goode B I O I N B I O
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    Executive on linkedin: Hi hood b goode, currently looking for opportunities? Your experience looks perfectly in line for a sr. leadership role in our organization.

    Me: [​IMG]

    Her: I love that you have both B2B and B2C digital marketing experience, and X and Y and etc. etc. It actually has been hard to find someone with your qualifications

    Me: [​IMG]

    Her: and we're looking to hire soon. Does that work?

    Me: [​IMG]

    Her: Lets talk tomorrow.

    Me: [​IMG]

    (Phone call)

    Her: Thanks for taking my call. To begin we're looking for you to move to bethesda maryland.


    [​IMG]
     
  33. slogan119

    slogan119 Her?
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    My team will be full WFH. Which is nice.

    My peers will be sort of in office. Hybrid? Flex? Something like that.

    But our boss DGAF, so we’re all remote because we work with diff teams on the east coast. So it’s all remote anyway.

    I enjoy the execs trying to justify it on 30-60 minute Zoom calls with 600 people when it could be a memo:

    “We’ll open offices. Some days you’ll be in the office. Other days you won’t. We’re doing well. Keep it up.”
     
  34. DriveByBBQ

    DriveByBBQ Well-Known Member
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    Pretty sure my new office building is making me sick. By the end of the day my throat is usually sore and clears up once I’m back home. Co-worker has chronic throat issues and coughing. They’re also renovating the suite opposite ours. Building uses mechanical ventilation. Not ideal for stress levels considering the current state of things.
     
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  35. hood b. goode

    hood b. goode B I O I N B I O
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    Shout out to my former boss (who was replaced by my current boss) for coaching me through the interview process, telling me what im worth / what i should be targeting, and making me decline smaller offers
     
    War Grundle, racer, Sub-Zero and 2 others like this.
  36. hood b. goode

    hood b. goode B I O I N B I O
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    [​IMG]

    Recruiter says they're offering next week
     
  37. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    "touchpoint session"

    Ex: "How is the new time and labor reporting system going for you? You can attend the touchpoint session Wednesday if you need assistance."
     
  38. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    I don't know who needs to hear this but not every company needs to post a 9/11 post on social media today. Not that it will stop them.
     
    TC and racer like this.
  39. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Rainbow logo Twitter for the other half
     
  40. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Anyone know of any good free resources to learn Microsoft Access better?

    I’m pretty good at excel, but know next to nothing on access but it seems like something that would be beneficial
     
  41. hood b. goode

    hood b. goode B I O I N B I O
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    On a scale of 0 to 10 how shitty is accepting an offer with company A then backing out when company B comes with the full court press / stronger offer?

    Im typically a guy who keeps his word, but torn here
     
  42. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    .05
    It’s you’re life and livelihood. Do what you need to do.
     
    beist, FTK, TC and 6 others like this.
  43. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Who gives a shit. Make the money
     
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  44. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    Do what's best for you. Always
     
  45. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    The company would stab you with a scissor to increase their EPS by 0.0001, fuck em
     
    FTK, Doc Louis, TC and 10 others like this.
  46. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
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    Be up front with the new company, tell them what your old company is offering, and if they'd be willing to match.

    Bet on yourself brotha
     
    Doc Louis, TC, BayouMafia and 4 others like this.
  47. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    Yay capitalism
     
    ohhaithur likes this.
  48. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Access can be useful if your company blacks you from any modern tool set. What do you want to do with it?
     
  49. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
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    Which job would you like better?

    If you'd like A better, ask them to match. They either match, say no, or tell you to kick rocks; in that case, well, you have a fallback plan.

    If you like B better, seems like a no-brainer.