Corporate Speak Thread_2024-01_Finalv11-GB.PPTX

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Gin Buckets, May 6, 2015.

  1. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    I have no idea. I just want to learn something new and don't really know much about databases.

    A coworker was using it the other day and it seemed useful
     
  2. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    It has a lot of limitations, especially with size. And it's kinda like a 90s tool that is still around.

    I've seen people do a lot of useful things with it, it's just not scalable, and distributable. Not much enterprise type things will be built in access anymore.

    But, if you really want to learn it then udemy.com has a course on it and they are usually really good.

    I'm not sure if jumping into full on databases would make sense bc there are usually going to be restrictions on who uses them/sets them up. If you're trying to do any type of automated reporting something like PowerBi might make some sense. You can do a lot of the data cleansing, aggregation, and joining various sources...and it's in extreme demand.
     
  3. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    hood b. goode you see how they treated you at your last job. Do what's best for you. You owe Company A absolutely zero at this juncture anyway
     
  4. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    Finally got the promotion I’ve been working towards. Annual bonus is doubled, good sized raise, way more headroom in the new salary band.

    The golden handcuffs are officially locked on.
     
  5. momux

    momux AFAM Scholar
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    Not until you go get a big new mortgage.
     
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  6. Pasta88

    Pasta88 Canes, Bruins, Raps, Jays and Sunderland.
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    “Journey”

    Everything is a journey these days in the corporate world.
     
  7. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Trying to make it not be about the destination. Which is a reorg in four years and you're left looking for something new.
     
  8. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    Definitely make the new company match. Have seen this play out where someone stays and four or six months later they're let go.
     
  9. The Hebrew Husker

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    About a year ago we switched to a new system at work that’s about 300% less efficient it seems. So now I just constantly describe tasks as “an adventure” because they’re such a process. There’s probably one co-worker who thinks I’m just using buzzwords.
     
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  10. BellottiBold

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    My employer has begun a "phased" return to the office so I'm here for a full day for the first time in *flails arms wildly* and let me tell you folks are getting death stares...
     
  11. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    IT just updated something to add a message to the top of every external email that says CAUTION: This email originated outside your organization blah blah. It makes every email preview in my inbox look exactly the same and I hate it. Subject is minimally helpful.
     
  12. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
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    its fucking terrible.

    or "you don't get emails from this person too often" and i have no idea what its about. I'm in supply chain. 50%+ of my emails are from people out side of the org.
     
    DaveGrohl, racer and PAHokie like this.
  13. PAHokie

    PAHokie Can't a bitch living say I bought her Michael Kors
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    Yep we just go that add on too. I deal with new clients weekly so there are a lot of people I don’t normally get email from.
     
    racer likes this.
  14. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    I’m 90% external on my emails, and it’s a mix of automated garbage and actual messages I need to read and respond to. I used to be able to clear 100 emails in a few minutes each morning by glancing at the preview. Now I have to open each on the reading pane to see if it’s a automated confirmation or a client actually writing me an email. So dumb.
     
    PAHokie likes this.
  15. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
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    clearing emails??? :yaoface:

    I have over 11k of unread messages because i get so much shit i don't want to read a day from.

    :feelsbadman:
     
  16. Marty Kaan

    Marty Kaan By any means necessary
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    Learn sql and gcp
     
  17. BellottiBold

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    Anybody have the link for that viral video of the dude with the mustache as "coworker (boss?) excited to return to the office" ? I can't find it now want to send to someone...
     
  18. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    Looks like you get 20 minutes of your day back.

    :killme:
     
  19. steamengine

    steamengine I don’t want to press one for English!
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  20. hood b. goode

    hood b. goode with the mandem
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    Amen. Hard not to taper off after dec 15
     
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  21. Upton^2

    Upton^2 blocked just a park away, but I can't really say
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    I’m with this but I’m trying real hard not to screw my future self come Jan 4
     
    PAHokie likes this.
  22. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    Pretty sure I’m playing video games the rest of the year.
     
    Hatfield likes this.
  23. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    Back to work after 12 days off and I’ve come to this conclusion:

    Work fucking sucks
     
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  24. slogan119

    slogan119 Her?
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    I hate when sick time repopulates for everyone and magically everyone is sick on the first day back
     
  25. BrickTamland

    BrickTamland You're not Ron...
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    We did just recently finish screening candidates. I want to thank you for your interest in the role and following up, I appreciate your eagerness and professionalism. After review of the applicant pool, we have chosen to proceed with other applicants. The slate for this role was highly competitive in that the individuals have significant experience in marketing roles or in areas of creating organizational strategies requiring multiple levels of management buy-in. My team is a bridge between global strategy creation and local country execution, and as we try to close this gap we were looking for candidates with these experiences that understand how to influence cross-functional business partners and identify challenges that exist so we can solve them.


    I was impressed with your track record of success in sales and clinical knowledge however given the responsibilities of this role, and the competitive individuals that applied, the marketing experiences became more clear as a need. I know you are eager to move into marketing and suggest targeting US marketing roles or other global roles more dedicated to product development that could leverage your strong clinical acumen, as that may be a good transition into the business and could open future opportunities.
     
    #1825 BrickTamland, Jan 20, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2022
  26. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    I feel like it was well-intentioned, but god damn.
     
  27. BrickTamland

    BrickTamland You're not Ron...
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    Florida State Seminoles

    I can’t help but feel that he wrote a lot of words to say, “you’re not qualified for this role but you should look for roles that are just like this one.”
     
  28. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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  29. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    I mean at least it looks somewhat personalized so that’s a plus?
     
    slogan119, BellottiBold and racer like this.
  30. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    what's the thread's take on farewell emails? Not writing my own but a couple of team members left recently and not everyone wrote one. Not sure what to think of them.
     
  31. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Talk to/email the people you want to talk to. If you’re involved closely with everyone then sure. Most cases I’d be weirded out by it.
     
  32. The Guglia

    The Guglia I Work in the City, and I Work Long Hours.
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    when i was a senior associate in the big 4 i was writing my farewell email and trying to think of all the people i wanted to address it to. eventually, i decided i wanted to leave early so i just emailed the entire advisory practice. i was in the nyc office and heard tons of alerts as everyone got my email at once and a few people around me go, “who is glenn?”

    linkedin profile views increased by 9999999% :mulletsmug:
     
  33. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    Got an email that begins “First off…”

    First off, you can’t be doing to that to a millennial

     
  34. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
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    Those can't be real right? I can't imagine he's allowed to post a video of those people without their consent. I hope like hell it is real
     
  35. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Possibly asked for permission afterward or maybe not all all idk it was likely all staged. Regardless I was pretty much in tears.
     
    honestlee likes this.
  36. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    has anyone ever in their career received an auto response from someone where it basically says "I am getting too many emails so I may be delayed in responding"

    It's not during a particular event, it's not a C-suite executive. It's a firm middle-manager.
     
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  37. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Internal or external?
     
  38. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    I'm internal but I don't know if it's set for external as well. That said this person includes a series of "helpful contacts and links" so I'd be surprised if this was just internal.
     
  39. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    I haven't but I love it
     
  40. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    really? I thought it was oddly tone deaf. Like we all get a lot of email. It's part of work? Not a unique situation. This person has also been here under 6 months and thought it was a weird signal to send out.
     
    Kirk Fogg likes this.
  41. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    I support anyone who tells work to fuck off
     
  42. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    Power move for sure. Dismissing someone with a link? Cold. Having a computer program do it for you? Ice fucking cold
     
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  43. Pasta88

    Pasta88 Canes, Bruins, Raps, Jays and Sunderland.
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    Agree but by having that message it implies the person cares a lot about responding to people. The real ballers respond slowly without a care in the world.
     
    Kirk Fogg, Doc Louis, PAHokie and 3 others like this.
  44. Upton^2

    Upton^2 blocked just a park away, but I can't really say
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    I have my auto reply set to IDGAF
     
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  45. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    Typing the 0 before a 1-digit hour in an email. Normal or serial killer?
    upload_2022-4-8_13-57-25.png
     
  46. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    Stop all “40,000 feet” references.
     
  47. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    Military or Euro
     
  48. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
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    Not Euro. Not former military as far as I know but I don't know the person that well. Marketing/advertising person in the US.
     
  49. goblue31602

    goblue31602 Well-Known Member
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    Can't imagine they're military unless they're scheduling something for 3am