Corporate Speak Thread_2024-08_Finalv12-GB.PPTX

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Gin Buckets, May 6, 2015.

  1. PAHokie

    PAHokie Can't a bitch living say I bought her Michael Kors
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    When it pops up on my cell phone all it will say is “wireless caller” if it’s not a contact I have saved.
     
  2. PAHokie

    PAHokie Can't a bitch living say I bought her Michael Kors
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    Double post. My bigger annoyance is I wish I could get it to auto go to vm more often when I’m busy.
     
  3. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia Thought Leader in Posting
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    The track record for this group is pretty good in that they seemingly leave companies better off than they bought them but that is of course subjective, and financial health doesn’t directly translate into a good place to work

    they have definitely been hands on but so far it has been more “let us show you how we can make this better” than slash and burn
     
  4. scissors

    scissors Very Sharp Member
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    I am in the middle of the first of 8 monthly sessions for “high achievers”. It’s 2-4 hours of LinkedIn pages come to life.
     
    #2504 scissors, May 1, 2024
    Last edited: May 1, 2024
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  5. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    should I have a lawyer review this employee agreement. just a few pages. not sure I understand some of it... it kinda sounds like they say I can't get a job for 2 years after leaving the company :ohdear:
     
  6. beerme

    beerme Well-Known Member
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    isn’t that federally illegal now?
     
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  7. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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  8. beerme

    beerme Well-Known Member
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    Yeah… I can’t imagine a contract can ban you from working for any period of time
     
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  9. Redav

    Redav mostly cows and rocks
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    Oh no. Don't ban me from working
     
  10. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
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    The biggest thing I miss from Slack that Teams doesn't offer is the "remind me" feature that Slack had. That ruled.

    Other than that, Teams is fine.
     
  11. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    My previous employer was acquired by PE about a year before I started. I was there for a little under 4 years and during that time there were massive shifts in the company's overall strategy twice, minimal, if any, merit raises, never met the metrics that triggered funding the bonus pool (although they did pay them out 2 of the years anyway at least), and nickel and dimed everything. A month or so before I left I had a lengthy despite with them over reimbursing $75 of ink and paper for a printer that they had purchased for me to use at home.
     
  12. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
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    For me as a software dev, Teams really still sucks for pasting code snippets and formatting them. The biggest issue I have though is that you can't thread in a chat like you can in Slack, Teams forces you to use a "team" which amounts to a message board that's so much more asynchronous than using a chat. I guess that was somewhat the intended point but I'm basically context switching having to dig through 100 teams to catch up rather than chats I can easily create and manage on the fly.
     
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  13. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    lol any time someone posts code in teams
     
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  14. Fat Drunk & Stupid

    Fat Drunk & Stupid Barning Hard
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    My business unit at a Fortune 5 company was purchased by a much smaller company in Oct of 2017. One of the first emails our unit received from the new company was, "we made an agreement to not let any employees go prior to January 2019". So that was a reassuring intro to Allscripts. I was gone by January of 2021. Over 70% of the people were let go before Allscripts was purchased by another company.

    GOOD LUCK!
     
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  15. Bert Handsome

    Bert Handsome I'm sorry I'm late, I didn't want to come
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  16. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    Uggggghhhhhhh
    This is not fun
    Serenity NOW
     
  17. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    received email from a consultant the acquiring company hired to help with the acquisition’s integration. they want to meet with me to learn more about my scope of work. I’m sure they’re doing this with a lot of folks.

    I just have the Office Space Bob’s scene in my head
     
  18. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
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    My legacy company had 15 SAPs globally and the company we are merging into had 1. We just finished the blackout and integration to move to the singular SAP and whooboy I know nothing about this but it seems like struggle bus central
     
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  19. steamengine

    steamengine I don’t want to press one for English!
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    It never goes well
     
  20. Bert Handsome

    Bert Handsome I'm sorry I'm late, I didn't want to come
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  21. The B1G Kucktis

    The B1G Kucktis 2 years, VARSITY!!
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    Each time I see this thread bumped I think of the Streaming Wars South Park special.
     
  22. Bert Handsome

    Bert Handsome I'm sorry I'm late, I didn't want to come
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    My algo is on one tonight

     
  23. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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  24. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    It amazes me boomers still "pls make your edits before XX:XXam....need to download a local copy to run the presentation"

    It's fucking SharePoint. It's no different then your local copy. Just open the God damn deck and leave it saved to SharePoint
     
  25. Redav

    Redav mostly cows and rocks
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    We still have people who will complain if excel stuff isn't in a printable format. WHO IS STILL PRINTING THIS?
     
  26. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    They absolutely hate when they forget to refresh and get the latest version.
     
  27. Bert Handsome

    Bert Handsome I'm sorry I'm late, I didn't want to come
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    Luckily my broke ass company has made printing things out such a hassle that the olds have been forced to adapt. The official stated purpose is information security and compliance but it's just as much cost related.
     
  28. Redav

    Redav mostly cows and rocks
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    The only things I print at work are non work related things. Please keep that here
     
  29. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"
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    And now Slack has AI to summarize/recap threads for you automatically or on demand, which really rules. Out of office for a few days, in an all day leadership workshop, and drowning in messages? No problem - hit recap, and then decide which items you should prioritize for in depth review & follow up.
     
  30. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"
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    Allscripts definitely sucks…it is a shame that no company in the “health IT” space is willing to put Epic in their place…because that company sucks for a myriad of reasons, and is one of those monopolies that operates under the radar.
     
  31. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
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    My 100 person startup (not mine, but I was employee 18 and a director) just got acquired by a 7K person company. "Luckily" i was brought over with the acquisition but HOLY SHIT it is wild to me how siloed things are, no one knows anything, there are 18 people for 1 job. Its a shitshow.
     
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  32. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
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    I don't really want to post where I work but my company is basically a competitor to Epic in most ways except we aren't an EMR system ourselves, we just work with a bunch that the practices choose.
     
  33. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"
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    I work for a global, fortune 100 company, and even we have to compete with Epic. The stranglehold that company has on CFOs and CIOs is remarkable to observe sometimes.

    They’re literally ok saying Epic’s solutions are “good enough” when talking about patient care & outcomes because it means they won’t risk pissing off Judy and her minion hordes that hold advancements back by decades under the guise of “data security”
     
  34. Fat Drunk & Stupid

    Fat Drunk & Stupid Barning Hard
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    I never worked for Epic, but what I had heard through networking was enough for me to never consider applying there.
     
  35. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
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    Went from hire 75 -> grow to 250 -> sold to 185,000
     
  36. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    When I tell people we’re not on Epic I get a look like I said it in another language. Just pure bewilderment.
     
  37. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
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    my god…

    the nice thing is you can definitely fucking coast, the downside is if you want to get shit done you really can’t.
     
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  38. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    This is so true.

    Had a reorg last February where my division merged into another one. It got me out of sending a report to a VP for 6 months because no one knew who to send it to before sending it to the VP and no one told me he had been asking about it.
     
  39. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia Thought Leader in Posting
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  40. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
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    Guessing they rewrote damn near the entire code base because there's no good reason that you need to install a separate app. That being said, the new app isn't as resource hungry.
     
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  41. RockHardJawn39

    RockHardJawn39 Not all time is Standard time, bitch
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    How do I prevent teams from opening every day when my company makes me reboot my laptop?
     
  42. Redav

    Redav mostly cows and rocks
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    They prob don't want you to close it because it's a productivity monitor.
     
  43. goheels10

    goheels10 Well-Known Member
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    Click on the search bar in the taskbar in Windows and search for startup. Click on startup apps. Find teams and click the toggle button to turn it off…. Unless your IT team has set it up so that part is locked down
     
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  44. goheels10

    goheels10 Well-Known Member
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    This guy has a shitty IT team. In the Teams admin center you disable legacy teams which forces users to the new teams and gets rid of this message.
     
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  45. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Mine did that for about a week
     
  46. Fat Drunk & Stupid

    Fat Drunk & Stupid Barning Hard
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    I actually found a pretty good work around for the new teams issues.

    Don't ever log in. EVER.
     
  47. MtOread

    MtOread chopped and scrooged
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  48. scissors

    scissors Very Sharp Member
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    Not feeling it today, boys. It’s going to be one of those “move the mouse enough to mostly stay green” days.
     
  49. The Hebrew Husker

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    Catching up on this thread. Glad to see I’m not the only one who works at a place no one knows WTF is going on ever.

    Switched companies just under 2 years ago. Similar job description, but my old job I had to do almost every step of the process so by default I learned some things. Here, every step is done by a different dept, but if you ever have a question about it no one on that team seems to have an answer (no matter what dept you’re asking).

    We could do the same task everyday and each day someone would act like they’d never seen it before in their life. Drives me nuts.
     
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