Corporate Speak Thread_2024-08_Finalv12-GB.PPTX

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Gin Buckets, May 6, 2015.

  1. Brandon Chicken

    Brandon Chicken Chow Time
    Donor

    I'm obviously in the minority but I hated remote for this exact reason. As soon as I was allowed to return to the office, I did. It works for some people, but not me. I actually enjoy the people I work with and need the separation between work/home.
     
  2. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennisSneakersBig 12 Conference

    Having work and home being two separate places is big for me too. I’d consider renting private office space if I worked remotely
     
    Nug and Brandon Chicken like this.
  3. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesNew Orleans Saints

    I can see this. I have a rockstar paralegal and she is in the office full time, and she appreciates some face time (and free lunch when I'm in once/month).
    Totally get it. I like having a home office and that is enough separation for me. Personally, I don't have much of a desire to get to know many people I work with. There's nobody on staff within 10 years my age, we share zero interests or hobbies, and it's the same banal water cooler conversations every time.

    It's a lot about the free time for me. If I want to wake up and go work out or go for a run, I can do that without worrying about getting home, showering, getting dressed, and then going to work. If I want to run a bunch of errands in the afternoon and work until 7-8 PM that night, I can do that without worrying about being in the office after dark and getting home super late. I can start cooking dinner while working. I can take my dog for a walk at 2:00 PM if she's feeling randy.

    Mainly, it's the food. I make my own meals prolly 90%-95% of the time Mon-Fri, and I love knowing what I'm eating. I eat so much healthier. I make much better coffee than in the office. My life is appreciably better in all aspects when I WFH.
     
  4. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    Just heard someone in a meeting saying they would do X task after Y was "socialized" to another team. I about threw my mouse.
     
  5. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    0 Days in office. But consulting is seeming to want folks to travel a little more often. We have some troubles filling roles "We want someone fulltime in office in middle of no where" is a bit tough. Most consultants are a bit reluctant to travel and seems to annoy some leadership who spent their careers traveling Sun-Thur.

    I don't mind traveling once a month
     
  6. Goose

    Goose Hi
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsReal MadridXavier MusketeersDayton FlyersFC CincinnatiPGA

    I don’t know how many gyms/health clubs offer this but they have a work space at mine that’s included with our membership. I’ve never personally done it but see people there when I’ve gone during the day working.

    Seems like a good idea.
     
  7. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    I've seen a few high end Influencer level type gyms include this.
     
  8. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    When you need to CRUSH IT BRO! at your job and then five minutes later doing curls.
     
    kentucky_dawg likes this.
  9. Goose

    Goose Hi
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsReal MadridXavier MusketeersDayton FlyersFC CincinnatiPGA

    Lol there are definitely some meatheads that belong there but it’s a pretty “family oriented” place. MILF city
     
  10. Sub-Zero

    Sub-Zero ALL THE TOSTITOS!!!
    Donor
    UCF KnightsMiami MarlinsOrlando MagicMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersWWEOrlando CityTennisSneakersBig 12 Conference

    They all use it to post on LinkedIn
     
  11. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
    Donor
    Miami HurricanesMiami MarlinsMiami DolphinsMiami HeatPoker

    if company started hiring fully remote employees after covid, not sure how they could go back to office.

    those of you saying company is back in office, ya'll never hired remote?

    one reason I wish I had the option of returning to office as-needed is when there will be major construction happening on my building later this year, it's going to be a nightmare working from home. not sure what to do yet.
     
  12. Fat Drunk & Stupid

    Fat Drunk & Stupid Barning Hard
    Donor
    Auburn TigersSeattle MarinersHouston RocketsManchester City

    I stopped consulting, because clients wanted me on-site 100%. Fuck that nonsense.
     
    BellottiBold likes this.
  13. Goose

    Goose Hi
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsReal MadridXavier MusketeersDayton FlyersFC CincinnatiPGA

    98% of safety discussions/processes is disingenuous bullshit
     
    Han Solo likes this.
  14. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Colorado BuffaloesFlorida GatorsTampa Bay Lightning

    Just had to set up a password for an Oracle Cloud application that needed to be 24 characters long that include 2 special characters. :blowup:
     
    Biship, Baron, PAHokie and 5 others like this.
  15. Redav

    Redav mostly cows and rocks
    Donor

    I just hope my phone is saving all of these passwords because I have no idea what most of them are anymore
     
    Biship, DuffandMuff, PAHokie and 5 others like this.
  16. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    !2345678910!!12131415
     
    Biship likes this.
  17. scissors

    scissors Very Sharp Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Colorado BuffaloesAtlanta Falcons

    We just went to 18 chars changed every 3 months. I’m pretty much here..


    thispasswordisstupid1
    thispasswordisstupid2
    thispasswordisstupid3
     
    bruce bowen and Simon Templar like this.
  18. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    I have a "work" instance on my phone that is basically partitioned off from the rest of my phone. It requires an 8 digit passcode to get into it. It also requires me to have biometric and/or passcode to unlock my phone. There is also a 6 digit passcode required to access my office applications.

    The kicker is that EVERY FUCKING PASSCODE SCREEN IS EXACTLY THE SAME. There is no differentiator of which screen is which. All 3 have to be different and there is a force cadence to change them all, but it doesn't tell me which one I'm changing. So I often have no idea which passcode I'm changing.

    So my process to check my email on my phone is ......
    • Unlock phone with Thumb
    • Unlock work partition with 8 digits
    • Unlock Outlook/Teams with 6 digits
    It's fucking maddening.

    Oh and b/c I have a developer laptop I have 2 specific logins to my Mac that don't sync with my actual portal password. And the admin/account login screens are indistinguishable. I'm constantly locked out b/c I have no idea which "part" of my laptop I'm logging into when I have to re-authenticate and not use my fingerprint.
     
    Guns, Baron, kinghill and 4 others like this.
  19. matistic

    matistic Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesSt. Louis CardinalsSt. Louis BluesChelseaAustin FC

    Most companies have struggled changing with the times. NIST and most others have for years now set guidelines that changing passwords often is actually harmful because, like you, users will do the easiest thing they can with each change. And they forget the new passwords a lot still, which means more time wasted.

    The actual current recommendation, that I finally got my company to adopt, is you set a longer length but allow pass phrases, do not require complexity, use 2FA, check against data breaches, and never make them change it unless you have evidence of it being compromised.
     
  20. Goose

    Goose Hi
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsReal MadridXavier MusketeersDayton FlyersFC CincinnatiPGA

    Are password apps actually safe? I’ve never used one but I feel like I’m reaching the point where I need to.
     
  21. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    I've been using Bitwarden for several years now. It's a lot safer still to use randomly generated passwords that you keep in a manager and don't have to remember, you instead just remember the vault password that you never use elsewhere.
     
    Han Solo, scissors and Goose like this.
  22. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesNew Orleans Saints

    My password is a random combination of letters and numbers I memorized when I was like 8.

    Then @1234 or @[my initials] or whatever

    Only been hacked 4x
     
    Han Solo likes this.
  23. Nug

    Nug MexicanNug
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesNew Orleans Saints

    Who the F is user whatever

    woah
     
    Han Solo likes this.
  24. Goose

    Goose Hi
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsReal MadridXavier MusketeersDayton FlyersFC CincinnatiPGA

    It almost feels like I’m better off writing this stuff down on a piece of paper and praying my place doesn’t get broken into
     
  25. scissors

    scissors Very Sharp Member
    Donor TMB OG
    Colorado BuffaloesAtlanta Falcons

    This is the way. I actually lost my vault password like 5 years ago and couldn’t get in with a new phone. Bitwarden told me to get fucked and all my credentials went poof. I respect it.

    Better to track a single pw than 200.
     
  26. ats

    ats I heard Vance and all of Ohio love couches

    @thankyouforBryceUnderwood19!!!!!!!
     
  27. matistic

    matistic Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Florida State SeminolesSt. Louis CardinalsSt. Louis BluesChelseaAustin FC

    The Apple password manager is actually pretty good if you have an iPhone. There’s browser extensions and the latest iOS allows password grouping and sharing. Plus it lets you know if you’re reusing a password or if one appeared in a breach.
     
  28. Where Eagles Dare

    Where Eagles Dare The Specialist Show On Earth
    Donor
    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesWashington CommandersAtlanta United

    42069Nug is not a secure password
     
  29. Bert Handsome

    Bert Handsome I'm sorry I'm late, I didn't want to come
    Donor TMB OG
    Notre Dame Fighting IrishMilwaukee Brewers altMilwaukee BucksGreen Bay PackersTiger Woods

  30. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Cincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsTennisTiger WoodsFC Cincinnati

    Got a recurring meeting invite yesterday, this was a new one:

    I know some of you will be required to attend these meetings weekly, others can parachute in and out as needed.
     
    TC, Goose, Henry Blake and 4 others like this.
  31. The Hebrew Husker

    Donor
    Nebraska CornhuskersSeattle MarinersColorado AvalanceWWENebraska Cornhuskers alt

    Not sure that’s how a parachute works but appreciate the attempt to be unique…
     
  32. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Got a new guy who is just too much. Sent him an email this morning asking him to help me complete something minor, sometime this week. He Teams me 20 minutes after I sent it "So sorry for the delay, I missed your email". And this is the norm. No matter how much I say "no rush here" "Whenever you can" he is this way. It gives me anxiety I can only imagine the pressure he has on himself.
     
    PAHokie and FTK like this.
  33. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    Sometimes it just flabbergasts me how little actual strategic thinking people do before making a request.
     
  34. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    Does he have a whole bunch of other work that is higher priority? I'd probably be that guy for the first couple of months at a new job.
     
  35. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Yeah he has plenty to do. I'll take his atittude/effort over the opposite just want him to stop feeling like he has to apologize for something every time I talk to him when there is absolutely nothing to apologize for. Which I've said to him a few times but just how he is I guess.
     
  36. Simon Templar

    Simon Templar Well-Known Member
    Kansas JayhawksChicago CubsSneakersBig 8 Conference

    Sorry I just saw this post because I was on a call but you seem to only have his best interests in mind.
     
    TC, PAHokie, grayton and 2 others like this.
  37. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    Yeah I see that part as being annoying after a while, but I'd bet it'll go away with time.

    I still get people, who have worked with me now multiple years, that message me on Teams with just "Good morning <my name>" and wait for me to reply before bringing up what they actually need. That drives me insane, just spit it out!
     
    FTK and grayton like this.
  38. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Kansas JayhawksKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsSeattle SupersonicsSporting Kansas City

    I work with a lot of people who don't natively speak English/ not from the US (from Mexico, Europe, etc.) And every single one of them starts every IM that way. I'm assuming it was how they are taught to address people but yeah it's annoying when I'm sitting there waiting for another message and one never comes
     
    FTK and Pile Driving Miss Daisy like this.
  39. bruce bowen

    bruce bowen Well-Known Member
    Donor

    upload_2025-3-10_13-45-6.png

    [​IMG]
     
  40. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    I wasn't trying to stereotype but yes, the only people who do this to me are from South Asia.
     
  41. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
    Donor
    Texas LonghornsAtlanta BravesAtlanta HawksAtlanta FalconsAtlanta UnitedGeorgia Southern Eagles

    Brother, I'm fighting the good fight. It hasn't stopped happening!
     
    bruce bowen likes this.
  42. Redav

    Redav mostly cows and rocks
    Donor

    Foreigners trying to be nice to me is why I voted for Trump
     
  43. Baron

    Baron Well-Known Member
    Donor
    Cincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsTennisTiger WoodsFC Cincinnati

    I'm about to parachute into this call.

    [​IMG]