Dealing with Depression Thread: an even safer place than the original

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by MK 3rds, Apr 11, 2015.

  1. miles

    miles All I know is my gut says, maybe
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    Sup.

    I had the exact same situation and went through a really thorough test and was positive. Got a script now after somehow never realizing it as a kid and it's very helpful. Only word of advice I would give is if you do test positive, only take it when you think you need it. Don't want to get dependent on it.
     
  2. miles

    miles All I know is my gut says, maybe
    Donor

    For me, I knew I was talking to the right person when I would have things I wanted to say when I walked in, or would think of things I wanted to say after a little conversation. Probably not that helpful of advice because not everyone's shit is as easily recognizable as it was to me, but maybe if you realize something is bothering you mid-week or something, try to remember that for next time you go in. If you hit a topic that you want to talk about and feel better afterward, it's probably good.
     
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  3. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    I’m not sure if I’m depressed, I’m not really sure I just have a serious drinking problem. I’m seriously messed up from my last relationship though. Things are looking bright with my new girl but she’s messed up too. She’s not a fuck up at all but she drinks almost as much as I do, she’s still solid as fuck. She’s visiting her parents tight now and I just want her to come see me. She’s supposed to come up on Sunday or Monday. I need her now though. I said I’d drive down to Dallas to pick her up or pay for a plane ticket. I guess she’s busy or taking a nap right now though because no response.
     
  4. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Does anybody have a recommendation for getting off alcohol in a safe manner? I mean I drink heavily and will go into withdrawals if I go a night without it. I have some some Xanax and that helps somewhat but I’m always hesitant to go to a doctor because I feel stupid and don’t want everybody at my work knowing.
     
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  5. TC

    TC Facebook critic
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    Cut down day by day. If your problem is that serious though, I think you should think more about getting some help with it. We're adults now -- people have problems and it's not the end of the world. Don't let your worry about your reputation stop you from getting help. Many, many folks have gone through similar stuff. Take care of yourself man
     
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  6. Room 15

    Room 15 Mi equipo esta Los Tigres
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    Everybody at your work knowing is much better than a lot of other things that can happen if you continue to be dependent on alcohol.

    And stopping cold turkey on alcohol can kill you if you aren't careful, so definitely discuss it with your doctor.
     
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  7. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    I might be way off but if you’re having withdrawals from not drinking one day you might want to go to a doctor and some sort of rehab. Depending on how bad your symptoms are, just “not drinking” doesn’t seem like an option. I remember you mentioned this before and not to be a dick but you need to get help fuck what other people think of you. Your well-being needs to be more important to you than what some assholes think of you. Those that care about you probably know you have a problem and will be there for you, those that don’t well fuck them.
     
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  8. TC

    TC Facebook critic
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    This. Work is down the list of what's important right now. If your problem is that bad, you probably won't even want to work there anyway if you get into recovery. You'll be like a different person
     
  9. TrustyPatches

    TrustyPatches suckin tuas dick
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    If you’re drinking is to the point if detoxing w/o it, chances are, people at your work are suspect that you have a problem of some sort. I remember after I cleaned up and went through the people I spent the most time with, most all of them knew I had issues
     
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  10. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    They have intensive outpatient programs that include 9 hours of therapy a week. It is usually run by an addictionologist that can get you started on Librium to wean off. The thing is I highly doubt you’ll be able to quit drinking without quitting the Xanax. They work in the same receptors and feed each other. I was on vodka and clonopine during my addiction and ended up needing 90 days of rehab. I saved my life. I had ended up in jail and losing the ability to practice medicine. Good luck to you. You have some hard choices ahead but when you look back you’ll realize they were easier than you thought.
     
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  11. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Thanks for the advice. I got some Librium from my doctor and was doing really good but then went through a really tough break up, got depressed and then fucked up and went back to the booze harder than ever. I still have half a bottle so I’m gonna try to go that route.
     
  12. TC

    TC Facebook critic
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    Are you planning to keep dating the girl you said drinks as heavily as you do?
     
  13. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Thanks. You are right. I have a problem I’m just stubborn and too ashamed to deal with it. I know I should though.
     
  14. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    I was exaggerating. She doesn’t drink nearly as much as I do. Just on weekends and stuff but she knows I drink all the time and is cool with it for now. That shit won’t be cool for too long though. I’ve gotta get my shit together. My ex said it was cool but ended up leaving me because of it.
     
  15. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    You don’t have to do it alone. Just know that.
     
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  16. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Damn I just throw my shit against the wall here sometimes. I feel like I’m building a reputation as a complete fuck up. I’m not, I just have a issue with the booze.
     
  17. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
    Auburn TigersAtlanta Braves

    You’re not a fuck up. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just know there’s help out there. The first step is admitting you have a problem. Have you thought about going to an AA meeting.
     
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  18. john fairfax

    john fairfax An expert at baccarat
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    ADHD medicine will definitely bring you down if you’re anxious.
     
  19. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    I don’t like to share too much anymore. I shared the most tragic moments of my life on here and they were used to try and make me feel like shit. Because of that I only share superficial shit now but trust me you’re not a fuck up compared to shit I could talk about. If you know you have a problem and need help then get it. You’re tempting fate and don’t want everything to come crashing down.
     
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  20. Schadenfred

    Schadenfred Well-Known Member

    I would recommend at least looking into the Sinclair Method, which is a bit controversial. The short story is that you take naltrexone about an hour before you start drinking. If drinking is a nightly thing but not an addiction where you're drinking throughout the day, this should be a bit easier. Anyway, what naltrexone acts as is an opiate-blocker, so it disrupts the physiological behavior-reward cycle. The success rate is rather high for this approach, but it is controversial because it's counter-intuitive: The protocol demands that you drink after taking the prescription. You must drink to stop drinking. Naltrexone for alcoholism is normally prescribed as a standalone -- that is, without the alcohol to follow.
     
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  21. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Thanks man. I hope things are going well for you. I’ve seen people give you shit in the past and it always made me cringe. I lurked for a long time.
     
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  22. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    This is a judgement free zone The Real Roy Williams . We certainly don’t think you are a fuck up and we know you are going to beat this.
     
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  23. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    Yeah I am good. Learned to deal with my shit in my own way. I figured out what would keep me level. I hope you find whatever that is for you.
     
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  24. GamecockInCbus

    GamecockInCbus Well-Known Member
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    I've generally only thrown my crap at y'all when my real-life coping mechanisms have been failing me. I just want to be able to look at myself in the mirror without wanting to punch the mirror into sand. I want to believe that talking with someone about this is not a waste of their time and my money, and that I'm not keeping them from helping someone who's actually worth helping. I have an idea of what would keep me level, I just can't get it.
     
  25. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Thanks. I’ll figure it out. I’m not a complete mess or anything. I go to work everyday and take care of all my stuff. I just worry about my long term health and screwing up my relationships with the people I care about.
     
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  26. Vandy

    Vandy VANDERBILT Braves Titans Preds NASHVILLE
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    Not really. Most ADHD medications are stimulants and are more likely to exacerbate than decrease anxiety. Conversely being more organized, getting more accomplished in work/school and generally feeling better about where you are in life after being on said medication can decrease anxiety and depression.
     
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  27. Vandy

    Vandy VANDERBILT Braves Titans Preds NASHVILLE
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    Naltrexone has the same effects regardless of when you take it. If you take it and then end up skipping and drinking it will decrease the pleasurable and reinforcing effects of opiates/alcohol. It is also available in an injection that lasts for a month for those who are inconsistent in taking medication daily.
     
  28. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    Thanks for the nice words everyone and the advice. I feel embarrassed to talk about it in real life and I do here too but I need to vent sometimes. I don’t want to seem like some total fuck up.
     
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  29. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Well-Known Member
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    I think i was misdiagnosed as having ADHD as a child and given stimulants. I think that fucked me up in terms of my anxiety. I kept going off my meds bc didnt like how they made me feel.
     
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  30. Homo Erectus

    Homo Erectus Well-Known Member
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    Everyone has problems and challenges. Talking just makes you more honest about it.
     
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  31. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Easy to say but you should not care about looking like a total fuck up, people that care about you won’t leave you. And nobody on this board will make fun of you, most people have issues.
     
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  32. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    I know but it’s still hard for me. All of my friends, my girlfriend and my parents to some degree (not as bad as it is) know but I don’t want it to mess up my professional life.
     
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  33. Arkadin

    Arkadin MY FAVORITE MEAT IS HOTDOG
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    Better than destroying your actual life
     
  34. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    I understand
     
  35. Zebbie

    Zebbie Master of Nothing
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    One thing I’ve learned over the years that I wish I knew earlier is that everyone has their own demons & nobody lives a perfect life (as much as they want to project that they do), so there’s no need to feel inferior to anyone else just because of things you’re going through
     
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  36. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Exactly, people always put their best face out there but reality is very different. It’s something that you learn through time, like you said. But so tough to see when you are younger
     
  37. Beeds07

    Beeds07 Bitch, it's Saturday
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    I was going too hard with alcohol for a long time, then got drunk at a party and made an ass of myself. The next day I decided I needed some time away because the alcohol was making me into someone I didn't like, so I slowly cut back to the point where I took a month to clean myself up.

    The first couple days were rough, but find something else to fill that time. For me, it was my job and the gym. I got to the point where alcohol wasn't even something I thought about, and it really helped me get my life in perspective.

    You can do it man, the hardest part is realizing it's something you need to do, which it appears you have. Good luck my friend.
     
  38. Owsley

    Owsley My friends call me Bear
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    This thread really is a great, safe, space like devine said. Love y’all.
     
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  39. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Hi
     
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  40. adephoi

    adephoi 803

    Alcohol/drugs can become part of your lifestyle. It’s easy to give up some things but changing a lifestyle takes deliberate action. Don’t be afraid to say no to social events or circumstances that make you stumble. Not saying stay home or become a hermit. Pick another activity that doesn’t include the pressure to drink. It sucks but changing the people you hang out with usually is part of the equation. No one is evil but you gotta put yourself in position to slowly get better and change your path. If you can find an accountability partner it will help. Someone you can tell anything to and there is no judgement or repercussions. Everyone and I mean everyone has issues - don’t forget that. Some people are better at hiding them and some are better equipped to deal with them. You just need the tools to deal with them. Hope all my TMB bretheren have a good Saturday and know you’re not alone.
     
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  41. MORBO!

    MORBO! Hello, Tiny Man. I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!
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    Hi!
     
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  42. CTownND

    CTownND Well-Known Member

    Well, figured I'd check in. I set my first discussion with a doctor about potential depression for Friday.

    I've been avoiding this for a while, but over the last couple months I've gotten pretty bad. I can't remember a single period in my life where I've been happy though I've had the signifiers of a "happy" life (good school, good family, good friends, good job, etc.). I've always felt like I wasn't good enough and pretty worthless and live in fear that someday I'm going to be exposed as some fraud.

    I've been in a relationship that's been a mixed blessing for about six years. She helped out with my self confidence in LA after moving here, got me out of a hole, but I should have broken up with her after a year or two. She treats me like shit sometimes and my friends can't believe some of the stuff I put up with. Not like physically abusive, but some emotionally manipulative stuff, always putting me in my place, etc. I can't really see myself marrying her, but can't really see myself breaking up with her because I just feel like I've built too much of an identity around her and our life together.

    About two months ago I cheated on her with a girl I've known for a few years and has been literally been my fantasy girl the last couple years, just we've each been in long term relationships over that time. I thought it was just one crazy night, but we both revealed how we have feelings for each other, but when I refused to breakup with my girlfriend and - potentially - date her, things got really toxic between us. We had been good friends and now constantly fight, and now I feel like shit for cheating on my girlfriend, while also ruining my friendship with this other girl, and the fantasy of someone better out there.

    Anyway, this all came to a head Friday when I emotionally hurt the other girl really bad and ended up trying to hurt myself for the first time at the end of the night. I know it's only going to escalate so figured I need to seek professional help. Sorry for the long post.
     
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  43. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    Thank you for sharing and don’t ever apologize. Please don’t hurt yourself. Things seem terrible right now but they will get better. Seeking Professional help is a very positive step
     
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  44. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    As for the girl situation, it sounds like you know who the right one for you is. Don’t be afraid to chase that feeling
     
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  45. MK 3rds

    MK 3rds Dork

    Excellent first step in realizing there’s a problem and seeking help for it. You’re in good company here and theres a Divorce thread if you want to talk more specifically about your relationship as well.
     
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  46. TC

    TC Facebook critic
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    [​IMG]

    Reading this book right now; it's giving me a very positive mindset. Also read "The Power of Now" by the same guy a couple years ago and it's great as well. Really helps you understand how so much of what bothers you and worries you is insignificant
     
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  47. Zebbie

    Zebbie Master of Nothing
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    Thanks for the rec- I have “The Power of Now” on my list, will add this one too
     
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  48. Zebbie

    Zebbie Master of Nothing
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    I know the feeling, man. I’m getting divorced after 8 years of mariage, 10 years of being with my soon to be ex, so I get the whole having to rebuild your life/identity - I’m here to tell you it can be done and that life’s too short to be unhappy, so if she’s treating you like that now, trust me, it won’t get better as time goes on (ex did some of the same shit to me).

    It’s gonna suck in the short term, but lean on your family/friends, and start seeing a counselor once a week (or more often if you need it) if you’re not already - that’ll probably help you more than anything.
     
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  49. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
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    Yeah, you 10000 percent need to breakup with your current GF.
     
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  50. CTownND

    CTownND Well-Known Member

    Yeah, this might be better for the girlfriend/divorce thread, but here's the kind of stuff I've been dealing with.

    Last Saturday was one of my best friend's weddings and I was in the wedding party. My gf was visiting her parents during the week so voluntarily missed the rehearsal stuff on Friday then came in Saturday while I was doing wedding party activities so I didn't see her until after the wedding. At the wedding, she immediately starts drinking super heavily and is noticeably drunk by around 9 PM when everyone is just starting to get buzzed. She almost fell down dancing and the bar refused to serve her anymore and it was kind of a scene. I was so embarrassed. I told her I literally couldn't leave the wedding since I was in the party and this was a day I've been waiting years for so either a.) we can sit together and sip water for ~30-45 mins til she settles down or b.) she should get in the shuttle to the hotel alone and pass out and she chose b. After the wedding I ended up going out with my buddies in the party til very late and went back to the hotel. In the morning, I was pissed at her and was going to say something, but she went through the trash can, found my bar tab of a few hundred bucks I covered from the night before and got super pissed at me for going out late and spending a lot of money.

    She then used that to get mad at me all day Sunday when I was hungover prepping for a redeye to the east coast for work. While on the east coast Monday-Thursday, she completely ignored my calls and texts all week and was sleeping in our second bedroom when I got home Thursday night to prove some point. It was completely her fault, and she found some excuse to ruin my week, make me worry all week about what I did, wonder if there's something more to the story and I'm a bad guy, etc. Just the kind of stuff she does to avoid conflict, always take back personal control, be passive aggressive, etc.

    That + the other girl being upset with me + stressful work week + post-wedding hangover = last week was a terrible, terrible week.
     
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