Dealing with Depression Thread: an even safer place than the original

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by MK 3rds, Apr 11, 2015.

  1. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
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    This sounds awful man, and you seem pretty miserable so this alone should end it. But once you cheated on her ( not judging) it needs to end, if you tell her she likely breaks up with you, if she doesnt then the relationship will be awful because she will never trust you. If you dont tell her you are going to feel guilty all the time and be miserable.

    Break up with her, and enjoy the sex with the new girl.
     
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  2. Ty Webb

    Ty Webb A donut without a hole, is a Danish.
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    Yep. End it soon.
     
  3. TC

    TC Facebook critic
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    How you gonna trip about a high bar tab when you was the one that had to be sent home in a shuttle bus?

    [​IMG]
     
  4. Zebbie

    Zebbie Master of Nothing
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    Fuckin’ wimmin, dude
     
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  5. DuckKin

    DuckKin Well-Known Member

    Another avenue is to also be single. Not in the go out and sow your oats, but take care of numero uno. It is very difficult to work on yourself when you are in a relationship, as working on yourself takes selfishness. As someone said above, lean on friends and family, but take care of yourself, not others.

    Edit: And if your do want to take care of others, volunteer, do something that will bring yourself some fulfillment.
     
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  6. Owsley

    Owsley My friends call me Bear
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    This is really, really good advice.
     
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  7. MK 3rds

    MK 3rds Dork

    Excellent advice. Work on yourself, work on getting back to friends status with your friend, and see how you feel in a few months after you've moved on a bit.
     
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  8. CTownND

    CTownND Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I was thinking about this too. Things with Girl #2 ended pretty badly Friday (like I said) and she ended up saying she wanted to block my number, cut all ties, and get over me on Saturday. Someone thanked me for covering a bar tab on a group chat on Saturday and it triggered her enough to say "I'm blocking you, just hearing someone else talk about you hurts." On Sunday night, she got into a little bit of an emergency, un-blocked me and asked for help and I came through for her in a big way (not sure why she went to me and not her boyfriend, but that's another story).

    So she's been back to treating me well, texting me all the time, being flirty, etc. the last few days... and while it's been a lot better than zero contact, I think it may be difficult to just lift and replace from one relationship to another in my current state, especially since her and I are quite volatile. The really, really tough part is she told me she was ring shopping with her boyfriend this summer, literally told him after we hooked up that she's been "having feelings for other people" and they called off their pseudo-engagement, and a week or two ago she wants "a month to figure this out" and will either stick with him or leave him soon (she's kind of waiting on me to make my move). It just feels like shitty timing and I don't know how I won't regret how I'm handling AT LEAST one of the female two situations forever, but I need to try.
     
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  9. Zebbie

    Zebbie Master of Nothing
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    Worry about your situation first, you can’t control what she does...if you think you’ll be happier without your current girlfriend (and it sounds like you will be), then do it to make yourself happy, not to parlay it into another possible relationship with your friend. If she’s got a serious boyfriend too, she’s gonna have her own set of issues splitting up with him, so getting with her while you’re both on the rebound may not be the best idea.
     
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  10. Marty Kaan

    Marty Kaan By any means necessary
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    I'm going to see a doc for the first time too. Congrats on taking the leap
     
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  11. DuckKin

    DuckKin Well-Known Member

    Im not going to give you advice on what to do, but I will say that you will absolutely struggle to take care of yourself if you continue to surround yourself with toxic relationships.
     
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  12. Marty Kaan

    Marty Kaan By any means necessary
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    what if it is your best friend and if you boot his ass out of your life he will be left with nothing. The dude has this chip on his shoulder and thinks everyone is fucking him over. Goes from 0 to 100 in a blink of an eye for no reason.
     
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  13. DuckKin

    DuckKin Well-Known Member

    If you are barely hanging onto a cliff, it is even more difficult when someone else is hanging onto you for all their support. Once again, Im not giving advice, just the realism of mental health. I dont believe you can be much help to someone unless you yourself are on stable ground.
     
  14. DuckKin

    DuckKin Well-Known Member

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  15. TC

    TC Facebook critic
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    "Put on your oxygen mask before helping others" is a metaphor I've heard that I liked
     
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  16. CTownND

    CTownND Well-Known Member

    Talked to the doctor this morning. Said I was pretty much a textbook case of severe depression and was digging on bipolar/manic disorder type questions. Got a prescription for an anti-depressant I'm picking up tonight and going to start looking for therapists as an adjunct. Was surprised it was so quick to diagnose.
     
  17. pearl

    pearl Fan of: White wimmens feet
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    Buried my grandmother today. She passed away on Tuesday. I’m dealing with it pretty well, I’m actually more concerned about how my dad is going to hold up the next few weeks but he seems to be handling it pretty well too.
     
    #1067 pearl, Oct 19, 2018
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2018
  18. TC

    TC Facebook critic
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    Let us know how you like the meds. It's been a game changer for me
     
  19. wtx

    wtx you don't want zero problems big fella
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    mixed klonopin, xans, and jameson last weekend and woke up on my bathroom floor like 13 hours later

    talked to my therapist and dr about it this week and they both said i should still take the xans for my anxiety so i don’t kill myself

    fucking benzos
     
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  20. undrtow

    undrtow learn to swim
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    I went through this in November. It isn't easy but be strong for your dad
     
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  21. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    I hope you start feeling better man.

    My girlfriend is in town from Mississippi. Her house is sold and she’s gonna get an apartment here soon but it’s a big change. she’s super stressed about the custody arrangement with her daughter. Apparently her ex is a good dad but they just couldn’t get along. She got in a car wreck and has been staying longer than expected while the car gets repaired. She has a history of seizures and high anxiety. She was able to get the seizure meds filled to the pharmacy here but it took days. They won’t fill her klonopin prescription over state lines. She misses her daughter so bad. She talked to her on the phone yesterday and got really sad. Her daughter cried and asked why she wasn’t there. She was having a panic attack afterwards so I called a dude and bought xans for her. She took some and we fell asleep. I woke up at 5 in the morning and she was lying on the bathroom floor with blood on her mouth. She’s ok now but it absolutely terrified me. She took Xanax and drank too much bourbon while she was emotionally distraught and I think she had a seizure. Then she was terrified that I thought she was a fuck up and was going to leave her and that she wouldn’t be able to see her daughter. Motha fucking drama. I love her though and told her I wasn’t leaving.
     
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  22. Vandy

    Vandy VANDERBILT Braves Titans Preds NASHVILLE
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    Something longer-acting like Valium or Ativan will be your friend in the long run.
     
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  23. CTownND

    CTownND Well-Known Member

    Anyone else take Escitalopram? Got prescribed 10 mg daily dosage.
     
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  24. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    That’s a low dose which I’m surprised at.
     
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  25. Zebbie

    Zebbie Master of Nothing
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    I do - I do okay on it for the most part but may see if they can bump it the next time I see my psych.
     
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  26. JCort

    JCort oiling and lotioning, lotioning and oiling
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    Please don’t drink on benzos. And if you have to use one, just use one. Don’t mix two of them. Klonopin is longer acting, xanax shorter. Alcohol and benzos do similar things to the brain, almost like you’re drinking exponentially more. You could end up in the hospital.

    Starting dose is 5-10mg. Max is 20.
     
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  27. CTownND

    CTownND Well-Known Member

    Got it, he said it would "take time to experiment with doses" and wants to see me again in two weeks, so maybe he's just seeing if the low dosage does anything before giving me a big dose, dunno.
     
  28. Louis Holth

    Louis Holth David LaChapelle levels of not giving a fuck
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    That’s not really a low dose(I’m a pharmacist), it’s a mid type dose. It’s dosed 5, 10 and 20 mg. Starting at 10 mg makes a lot of sense. Good luck.
     
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  29. Zebbie

    Zebbie Master of Nothing
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    Probably just seeing how you feel after a couple of weeks on it - don’t panic if you don’t notice much difference after a week or so, it can sometimes take at least a week before there’s a large enough difference in your mood/how you feel that you notice it.
     
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  30. Zebbie

    Zebbie Master of Nothing
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    That’s where I started too - switched over early in the year from 30mg of Paxil.
     
  31. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    SSRI good. Xanax/Valium bad. Take the SSRI and do therapy but balk at the Xanax/Valium. They are habit forming and brutal to detox from.
     
  32. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    It's not the wrong message. The goal is to get you off meds. If your doctor says cool then cool.
     
  33. wtx

    wtx you don't want zero problems big fella
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    jesus man, i hope she’s okay now. i’m sorry to hear that. good on you for sticking with her through her problems though. xans are no joke.
     
  34. MK 3rds

    MK 3rds Dork

    Been deployed about 3 months now, got about 6 weeks to go (pretty short tour). Just getting kinda down and homesick and tired of the every fucking day sameness. I've been 13hrs on 11hrs off 7 days a week since I've been here and the base I'm on is about as remote as bases get these days so there's fuck all to do when I do get time off. Internet here is spotty and so slow I can't view images half the time so I haven't been able to talk to my daughter or fiancee in real time in 2 months. I'm just tired and lonely and have cabin fever I think.

    I just found out there's some kind of admin problem with my flight home. We got six weeks to figure it out but it's just another thing to worry about.
     
  35. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Don’t touch the bike
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    Have a partial torn bicep tendon in my left arm. Did it right before my wedding and now having to deal with it at work. Going to the orthopedic dr on Tuesday but I’m pretty shaken up as this injury is looking like a change of life episode I’m not willing to deal with.
     
  36. Vinegar Strokes

    Vinegar Strokes Suck our Dicks. Fire Everybody
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    What do you do for work?
     
  37. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure Don’t touch the bike
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    I’m a project engineer for an oil and gas construction company. I can’t perform my job duties as far as what I have to do on site any longer as I’m down to one arm.
     
  38. Beeds07

    Beeds07 Bitch, it's Saturday
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    This. This sounds silly but you can't be there for others until your good with yourself.
     
  39. Beeds07

    Beeds07 Bitch, it's Saturday
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    Its tough. When my dad died my mother went into severe depression, and she was already suffering from dementia, but it's much worse now. All I can suggest is that you keep in contact and keep checking up with him.
     
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  40. Beeds07

    Beeds07 Bitch, it's Saturday
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    It's been a weird week. I had my six month checkup and everything was good, but I actually realized I won't be able to have kids. I never really thought about it, but when they removed my bladder, they also found cancer in my prostate, so they removed it. Not to get overly technical or weird but they removed the vesicles which produce semen.

    I'm a little older and probably wasn't going to have children, but knowing it's off the table was a little sad. I'm happy because I am cancer free, but a little depressed at the kid factor.
     
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  41. THEBLUERAIDER

    THEBLUERAIDER Well-Known Member
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    Is there a difference between just being sad and being depressed? Seems to be a fine line
     
  42. Koby Salman

    Koby Salman Well-Known Member

    Glad to hear everything checked out good for you :thumb:

    Just curious - so where does the urine filter to now since they removed your bladder?
     
  43. john fairfax

    john fairfax An expert at baccarat
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    You're honestly one of the last people I ever would have guessed that would have been depressed. That just goes to show how hard it is to really step in and help others.
     
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  44. The Real Roy Williams

    The Real Roy Williams Oklahoma Sooners, OKC Thunder
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    I think she’s ok for the most part now. I don’t trust her to drive a long distance though in case of a seizure. She has a fancy neurologist in Houston and she needs to see her. I’ve been texting back and forth with her parents. She has a solid support system but she’s proud and embarrassed. I think the best plan is for her to just leave her car here and get a flight to Houston to see the doctor. She has a sister there that can pick her up. Her mom said they would arrange a flight back to Mississippi so she can see her daughter and get her house closed. She can always just get an Uber to get around during that process until she can get back here. It will all work out it’s just fucking stressful.
     
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  45. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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  46. Beeds07

    Beeds07 Bitch, it's Saturday
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    They built a new bladder out of my small intestine. It was either that, a bag or a tube. The new bladder was the easiest choice to make.
     
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  47. Mr Bulldops

    Mr Bulldops Jet fuel cant melt dank memes
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    I think it’s a common misconception that depression equals sadness. While that is a part of it, in my experience i wouldn’t necessarily say that a majority of what is felt is “sadness” but more like “nothingness”. Maybe that is just me though
     
    #1097 Mr Bulldops, Oct 22, 2018
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2018
  48. Zebbie

    Zebbie Master of Nothing
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    Yep - you may not feel sad, but you aren’t happy either, just kinda there & figuring out how to survive each day.
     
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  49. CTownND

    CTownND Well-Known Member

    Rough Saturday night for me. Was out with my friends having a good time watching the Dodgers/Lakers game and I get in a group chat with Girl #2 and some of her friends where she says to meet at 10 PM at some bar a few minutes away from where I was. I've been having a lot of issues with the GF and Girl #2 has been helping me out and I helped her through some shit this week, so I was getting excited for a fun night.

    Around 10 I get in an Uber, and Girl #2's friend texts me solo that Girl #2's boyfriend is going to be there. I immediately re-route for home and tell her "cool, probably won't swing by anymore." About 15 mins later Girl #2 texts me "WTF, you're bailing?" and I sit on it. Her friend texts me and I respond; she sees my response to her friend (they were standing together) and flips her shit on me. I then tell her "Well, to be honest with you, I'm not coming because your boyfriend's there - I'm surprised you'd want to put me, you, or him in that situation, so I'm out." She then goes off on me about how she told me she was on a one month break with her bf a month ago, I didn't break up with my gf, so now I can't be pissed she's back with her bf and I need to deal with my lack of inaction, throwing in a "fuck you forever" and "have a good life" for good measure.

    I went home and drank a bottle of wine (which I shouldn't have done) and she supposedly stormed out of the bar crying (which had to be ...odd... for her bf) and we text argued from 10:30 PM til 3 AM. I just need to get this kind of toxic shit out of my life, but she's like a drug to me; I crave her being around me even if I know its harmful.
     
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  50. southside

    southside Well-Known Member
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    Jesus man that drug line is the scary one. Been there, it never ends well.

    Both of these girls are toxic and manipulative.