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Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by MK 3rds, Apr 11, 2015.
Yeah man, you need to cut both of these women out of your life. They are like a cancer.
Yeah she was texting me shit after the boyfriend episode around midnight like "I am so crazy about you, you don't know how much I care about you, how much I wish we were together. I never understood why someone like you would go for someone for me, so my guard is always up that you are going to hurt me and I act out."
And even if there's some truth to it, it feels like the kind of manipulative thing you would tell someone just to get them to stick around enough for you to hurt them again. So I'm really torn about it, and I always just think "would we fight like this if we were actually together?" but maybe I never want to know.
Lol that’s exactly it man. She’s already doing the classic self deprecation excusing of her behavior because she’s not “good enough”. That girl is nuts.
Yep. Dated a girl like this for a good bit of college. Had me pretty messed up mentally. My younger brother pretty much literally knocked some sense into to me about her. We ended u getting into a fist fight about how she acted and was manipulating me. I'll never be able to repay my brother enough for that right hook.
This came up on my FB timeline randomly today. Pretty accurate to what I was meaning yesterday
Yep - CTownND, get the fuck away from both of them as fast as you can.
This girl is at least really hot right ? RIGHT ???
Yeah, I'm insanely attracted to her and that's part of why it's so hard to pull away, like I think she's about the hottest girl I could ever potentially date.
Had another "Lucy puts down football for Charlie Brown" moment yesterday. On Sunday she had texted me seeing how I was doing and I was still kind of hurt and didn't really want to see her so was a bit short in my replies to which she called me "passive aggressive AF" and "salty" so I stopped responding. Then last night around 7 PM she texts me and asks what I'm up to. I say I'm at the gym, will be done in 45 mins, she says "that's great, I'm at the bar right by your gym with a couple friends come say hi."
I knew it was a bad idea, but thought it was a worse idea to completely say no to her, so in my head I'm like "I'll stop by, I won't drink because of my anti-depressant and just smooth things over for 30 minutes and bounce." We talk like normal for ~5 mins, then she goes "So do you still hate me from Saturday?" I say, well, I think we should talk about it, I'm still a little upset, I have my guard up around you sometimes about being hurt and I thought I was going to be hurt being around your boyfriend so didn't come - I don't hate you, but I think it was a bad situation for either of us to be in. Thought it was totally fair.
30 mins later she goes home, I notice at 11 PM right before I was going to bed she blocked me on Instagram again (she had me blocked for ~6 weeks, then un-blocked me about a week ago). I text her that we should talk tomorrow (today) and she replies "no, you just want to get angry at me. you keep pulling away from me like Sunday and tonight and i just won't be there for you anymore. you think I'm a terrible manipulative person who only wants to hurt you, I let my guard down Saturday night in telling you how I feel and you continue to throw it in my face." So, literally out of nowhere I was back fighting with her til past midnight again with her saying stuff like "I don't know how we can even be friends."
Just wanted to stop in and say I appreciate y’all sharing.
Being forced to hunt for a new job and new place to live has greatly spiked the anxiety.
You need to end it with your current GF asap man. Its gonna suck, its gonna be hard but just do it. Even if this side girl is probably toxic, its clear you like her a lot more than your current girl.
Agree with this, but please, for your own good CTownND don’t jump headfirst into that shit stew with girl #2. Give yourself a break, be selfish, and do what you need to do to get back on your feet and feeling good again.
From experience, the girls that feel like a drug and cause you to behave in ways you question or put up with shit you shouldn’t are absolutely the worst possible thing for you.
Precisely. Mine had a fucking magical pussy. The sex was unreal. Still haven’t come close to topping it, but I’m totally ok with that as a healthier trade off. With time as all memories, it fades and you can’t quite recall exactly how great it was. The negative emotions towards them are much stronger in hindsight.
Truth. First girl I had feelings for after my divorce was exactly like this, being with her felt like being injected with all the feel good drugs . She dropped me like a bad habit after a month(which given the emotional place I was in I blame her not at all for; I was a wreck for a number of reasons) and it felt like withdrawl. Still does sometimes.
Psychedelic psilocybin therapy for depression granted Breakthrough Therapy status by FDA
Granting of Breakthrough Therapy status allows the FDA to expedite research and review of psilocybin-based treatments to move them into clinical use sooner(Credit: Vox19/Depositphotos)
In an extraordinary step forward for the psychedelic drug research community, the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has just given psilocybin therapy for treatment-resistant depression a Breakthrough Therapy designation. This classification suggests the treatment has demonstrated significant potential in early clinical evidence, allowing the FDA to assist and expedite subsequent development and review processes.
The FDA's Breakthrough Therapy designation was created in 2012 as a way of presenting a faster pathway to approval for drugs that display treatment advantages over current options for serious or life-threatening conditions. While not all Breakthrough Therapy treatments may ultimately prove efficacious and make it to market, the designation is generally a positive thumbs-up from the FDA that it's potentially useful and should be expedited.
The specific designation in this instance is directed at a phase IIb trial currently underway across Europe and North America. The research is investigating the optimal dose range for psilocybin in regards to severe treatment-resistant depression. Prior research has found that one to two doses of the psychedelic agent, administered in controlled settings, can markedly reduce a person's depressive symptoms. The safety of these treatments has also been established through earlier research.
The multi-center clinical trial now underway is being run by life sciences company COMPASS Pathways and expands on decades of work by researchers around the world who toiled to push this previously taboo drug into the light of legitimate medical research. Robin Carhart-Harris, head of the Psychedelic Research Group at Imperial College London, has been working for several years to establish the efficacy of psilocybin treatment for depression, and notes that this new FDA designation is a positive sign for the future of psychedelic drug therapy.
"The Breakthrough Therapy designation is a strong endorsement for the potential of psilocybin therapy," says Carhart-Harris. "We look forward to learning more as further clinical studies are carried out, by our team at Imperial College as well as in COMPASS's multi-center trial."
One of the interesting looming implications of psilocybin's acceleration towards legitimate medical use is that if it passes phase III clinical trials the FDA will be forced to change its restrictive Schedule 1 control. Schedule 1 is the most restrictive category of drug control in the United States, essentially establishing the substance as highly addictive and having no medical benefit. This kind of oppressive classification limits the breadth of research into potential beneficial uses for specific drugs.
Marijuana has been the drug under the most scrutiny in recent times regarding its strict scheduling. Following the landmark approval of Epidiolex, the first ever medicine approved in the United States from a marijuana-derived compound, the FDA was challenged to reschedule marijuana, or at the very least cannabidiol (CBD), the primary compound derived from the plant. Ultimately the FDA refused to drop either marijuana or CBD from its restrictive Schedule 1 classification, instead contorting itself to limit the rescheduling to Epidiolex specifically and not anything broader.
This psilocybin therapy, on the other hand, poses a more complicated scenario for the FDA, and other relevant United States authorities. Much like the pathway being forged with MDMA for PTSD, the demonstrable clinical benefits of the substance make it impossible to keep it restricted to Schedule 1, especially if it successfully moves through phase III clinical trials.
Researchers working with psilocybin from Johns Hopkins recently penned a comprehensive article suggesting the drug needs to be rescheduled down to Schedule IV. The article outlined a raft of evidence highlighting the potential therapeutic benefits of the drug, as well as its proven low rates of abuse, and demonstrable lack of physical dependence potential.
"We should be clear that psilocybin is not without risks of harm, which are greater in recreational than medical settings," says Matthew Johnson from Johns Hopkins, "but relatively speaking, looking at other drugs both legal and illegal, it comes off as being the least harmful in different surveys and across different countries."
This latest step from the FDA, to offer psilocybin a Breakthrough Therapy designation, is a quietly extraordinary move from the federal agency, implicitly suggesting this previously stigmatized drug may have beneficial clinical uses. And, if all continues along the same path, within the next five years a significant psychedelic drug, that has been restricted for decades, may become more available for clinicians and medical researchers to work with.
Source: COMPASS Pathways
We all have one. Mine is an ex who married a friend when we broke up. Every time she's single we mess around and it's never good.
Interesting - I wonder what the dosage is?
They mention as few as 1 to 2 doses for marked improvement. I'm guessing these patients aren't exactly 'tripping balls'?
They’re typically fairly high doses but they aren’t just writing scripts to patients then sending them on their way. There is intensive therapy around too.
Amazing possibilities with this and mdma therapy.
Correct in that it isn't anything like recreational use and very promising to sufferers. Didn't know and don't know anything about dosages.
y’all ever just isolate yourselves from every single person except the people you work with just to flex on everyone that’s mentally healthy
I'd iso because I didn't want to be around anyone and have to talk
I just start spiraling very easily when I'm not around people. Then when I do actually get out, I can't get a word in without interrupting everyone, and by listening to everyone else, I realize that I don't belong there. And by there, I mean practically every social situation. I end up killing every social thing I'm ever an important part of. But I get so lost in my own thoughts when I'm alone, part of me is trying to convince me that I can't get out, and maybe I shouldn't. I still don't know how to effectively talk to therapists, I don't know how to learn how, and I've convinced myself I should save their time for people who can be helped.
I’ve been told by my adult sister she hospitalized herself following more frequent panic attacks leading to suicidal thoughts. We live 1,000 miles apart and our relationship has never been strong, but I absolutely care. She has reached out for a reason. She’s not in a relationship, no kids, for a lack of better terms she’s a loner. Any guidance on how to help?
Skype and FaceTime her until you’re able to see her in person. Just seeing your face will go a long way
Welp, I had the talk with the GF last night. I started therapy sessions last week and the therapist thought it was an "emotionally abusive" relationship and we started working on ways I can talk to her and ultimately try to get out of the relationship.
This weekend, her two sisters were in town with their boyfriends. They were day-drinking all day Saturday and I really wasn't in the mood, so after brunch I went home to the apartment to watch the ND game and they stayed out. The GF confronted me last night about how I seemed "mopey" this weekend and asked why I was being a downer. I had next weekend circled on my calendar as time for "the talk" but I just came out with it - what's upset me about the relationship, the cracks we have, how she makes me feel shitty, etc. She said she felt the same way, like she didn't enjoy being around me anymore and we've just grown apart and were just "doing this" because we felt we needed to.
So we went past "break" and actually just said we're breaking up. We live in a two bedroom so I'll just live in mine and her in hers until we figure it out. I feel more relief than anything, but I feel like this will help with my depression knowing I was able to stand up for myself and try to move on.
Everything you said is really good & I think standing up for yourself is huge
Might want to remove yourself from that toxic apartment as soon as possible
Did you admit you’ve been cheating on her?
Yep if you can crash on a buddy’s couch or spare bedroom, do it. Cohabiting after a breakup sucks.
No. My plan was that if she went down the path of trying to fight for me or saying we need to stick together, I would bring it up to clear the air. But given that she was like "let's end this" without even getting into that, I thought there was no reason to bring it up, especially since it looks like there's a chance at a mutually amicable break (or as close as you can get to one).
Well done, sir.
Having been in your shoes I'd strongly recommend doing whatever possible to physically remove yourself from the situation. If friends or family aren't an option I'd look for an extended stay business traveler type hotel. If finances are an issue I'd be happy to help get you set up. Physical separation mitigates so many potential problems or pitfalls I can't recommend it enough in these situations. Congrats and best of luck moving forward.
Edit: I minored in psychology so you can trust me.
Agreed. Anything you can do to move forward in a different apartment or house from her would be in your best interest. It sounds like things are pretty good between you two right now, and it's probably best to keep it that way if possible. Being close to her is only going to increase the possibility of things going awry.
Thank you, and I agree. Luckily we both travel a decent amount for work so we don't see each other much during the work week. This weekend I will probably be crashing with a buddy on Friday night and Saturday night. If the work weeks on / weekends off aren't working after a couple weeks, I'll look into alternative options. Hopefully by Thanksgiving / early December we've moved on.
This. And remain calm.
Fully moved out of my old place yesterday and almost fully moved into new place. Anxiety was at a minimum this weekend which was a pleasant surprise given that I did nearly all of it myself.
As far as job, got a phone interview tomorrow and another one on Wed, as well as did an assessment on Friday.
Good talk, everyone. Thanks for reading.
Not depression I don’t think but my anxiety has been skyrocketing the past few weeks. Just overthinking everything
Same here man. I’ve come to phrase it as when I’m bored and the idle mind does the devil’s work like idle hands do.
It sucks. I’ll make a small mistake (or a perceived one in my mind) and then my thoughts will just spiral
I’ve done that shit to myself for years & hate it - you’re far from alone in that regard, the easiest way I’ve found to deal with it is take a step back & evaluate if it’s really that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things (more often than not, it’s not a big deal at all)
That’s a good idea, thanks for sharing your experience
Here is a small recent example. It’s going to sound dumb but maybe some of you can sort of relate
Today playing basketball. Kid takes a terrible shot and misses. As I’m running away under my breath I say ah don’t shoot that. Then I get paranoid kid next to me heard and is gonna tell the kid that shot then I’m not gonna get picked up anymore
Just dumb brain stuff
I’m lucky to not get anxiety bad, though from time to time I’ll think of something and let out a “FUCK.”
One thing that could help is practicing some mindfulness techniques. If it’s really bad, another thing is Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Both teach you (among other things) a technique called cognitive diffusion where you sort of learn how to break the hold a thought has over you. One of my fav ones I saw is taking a word or phrase and repeating it to yourself until it doesn’t even make sense anymore. Like say “anxious anxious anxious anxious” to yourself over and over til the word sounds ridiculous. That can help break the hold “the mind” has over you. Remember the part of your brain that makes words is only one part, it’s not the whole story. Sometimes you have to put it back in its place
No prob man, I’m the worst at kicking myself in the ass over small stuff that I shouldn’t really fret about too much, so I’m always up for helping someone else avoid crawling down that hole.
Another good technique for stuff like that is realizing how small you are in the grand scheme. You build something up in your head but to no one else is it as significant as it is to you. Most of the time, the other person isn’t even sweating what you are; they’re sweating something embarrassing they feel they did
If you think about it, overly focusing on yourself like that to an extreme is a form of narcissism
“There is no world — only 7 billion peoples’ impression of it.”
Hey calling in.
It’s been a stressful morning. My girlfriend took her pregnancy test and she’s not pregnant. I don’t know how to feel but my emotions are going crazy. My rational self and brain is saying this is good b/c she has a bunch of stuff to figure out first but my heart and my gut feel differently. Plus she’s leaving in two days to finish the closing on her house in Mississippi and fiinalize her custody situation. She’s coming back and getting her own spot but we plan to be together and eventually we both want a family together when things aren’t so complicated. I’ve been randomly crying all morning. I’ll fly to see her at times but I’m gonna be all alone for the most part till it’s all figured out. I’m gonna miss her really bad.
Look at it as an opportunity - she's finalizing some things that will help your relationship. Take that time to deal with any things that you can do to help your relationship too. Don't let yourself dwell on where she is or what she is doing. Pick a project or plan an event that you can do together when she is back and everything settles down. Having a kid when your already in a vulnerable place is not going to help so I'd definitely look at it as a positive that she is not pregnant. You both need to be emotionally healthy before you bring another person into the world. Make plans to be around people if possible - dinner, sporting event, etc. and don't drink too much. Just my two cents and know that you're not alone.
Sounds tough man. How long do you think you guys are gonna be apart?
Good advice and thank you. I wasn’t trying for that at all yet. It wasn’t some planned thing it was just a possibility and I won’t lie a part of me was disappointed to an extent. We are good though. I get jealous too. We all booked shows and I played music in the scene here. Yesterday she queued up some Against Me video of some song that apparently the dude said reminded him of her. So I asked if they hung out a lot and she we like yeah I fucked Tom one time. He’s a woman now but still I got mad. It was 12 years ago and I was with someone else but I don’t want to hear the deatails. Congratulations you became friends with and fucked a rockstar. We talked about it and it’s cool. I fucked girls after shows myself. She just kept going on about how I shouldn’t be mad and that it was a long time ago and I kept telling her just stop talking about it. I’m not mad I just don’t want to hear about it.
Hopefully just a few months.