Dealing with Depression Thread: an even safer place than the original

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by MK 3rds, Apr 11, 2015.

  1. Mr Bulldops

    Mr Bulldops Jet fuel cant melt dank memes
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    My (now) wife moved to the other side of the country and we were apart for almost 3 years at one point while we were still dating. We would take turns flying to one another every couple months. It sucked but if it’s meant to be, it will work itself out
     
  2. CTownND

    CTownND Well-Known Member

    Quick update from me.

    Feeling generally better on a day to day basis. Medication seems to be going alright I would imagine. Therapy has been extremely helpful.

    Example: I broke up with the GF last Sunday, she told me the next day that she had already found a place across the city and was planning to move out next weekend (so what would be today). Since then, she has been extremely nice to me, offering to cook dinner when I come home late, etc. - stuff she wouldn't do when we were together. She has since been kind of delaying the move out ("oh, we're still working through the lease" "oh, the land lord is being unresponsive, etc.") and I had put a hold on the only vacant one bedroom in my apartment building, making the move out logistics super easy - but something was keeping me from pulling the trigger. I met with my therapist Wednesday and she said I better walk out of this room, immediately call the landlord and say I am signing on the spot (not just a hold) and tell the GF I am moving out ASAP. I wasn't expecting that kind of immediate action recommendation from her, but it was extremely helpful. So now, I'm moving into a one bedroom in my same apartment complex next weekend, which should make the move easy and thinks have been as amicable as possible with the GF in terms of moving out.

    On Girl #2, we've still been talking and hanging out a lot. She told me she is actually still on a break with her current BF. We've been getting along better now that she sees proof I am breaking up with my GF (she had trust issues and thought I was telling her I was breaking up with GF to try to sleep with her). She is simultaneously telling me I need to be single for a few months before we can do anything, while also talking about how excited she is for our next stage while I have my own apartment.

    Either way, I'm glad that 1. I made this decision independent of her so even if nothing ever happen I thank her for being a catalyst to getting me out of the bad relationship with a GF, and 2. We're treating each other a lot better recently as things are ending with the GF. I'm a little anxious to be single again and still have some tough self image / imposter syndrome issues, but excited to continue moving forward.
     
  3. Zebbie

    Zebbie Master of Nothing
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    Good for you man - just take it a day at a time with Girl #2
     
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  4. mc415

    mc415 Hella
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    Girl #2 sounds kinda crazy and that if you got serious with her it’s going to be high drama stressful shit......will put you thru another hell when the lows get low......I think you need a clean slate and find a nice well grounded chick who’s not going to mind fuck u over and over
     
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  5. JohnnyChimpo

    JohnnyChimpo This man, Lenny Pepperidge, AKA Lenny the Pep...
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    I’m not trying to be insensitive but this part threw me for a loop
     
  6. CTownND

    CTownND Well-Known Member

    Do you guys drink on your anti-depressants?
     
  7. Zebbie

    Zebbie Master of Nothing
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    I do but I usually only have beers on Saturdays & don’t really touch it the other 6 days of the week - what are you taking?
     
  8. JCort

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  9. CTownND

    CTownND Well-Known Member

    10 mg of Lexapro. I usually have one heavy drinking day a week (6-8 drinks) and one light drinking night (1-3 drinks).
     
  10. Zebbie

    Zebbie Master of Nothing
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    That’s what I’m on too - just be careful with it for the first few weeks you’re taking it to see how/if the medication affects how you feel, and try to avoid tying one on for a few weeks if possible.
     
  11. southside

    southside Well-Known Member
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    I took lexapro for about 2 years, same dose. Drinking had no affect that I could tell. I did go completely sober though the first 2-3 months I was on it
     
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  12. TC

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    Yeah. I try to be an adult and limit my drinks these days but when I do go beyond just a few I feel like the SSRIs cause me to reach the "hammered" stage faster. Like I'll wake up the next day, realize how inebriated I was, and be like hmmmm I didn't used to get that drunk off 6-8 beers. Could also just be because I'm old now
     
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  13. TC

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    On the subject of not sure if bc old or the medicine...anyone experience weight gain with these?
     
  14. Zebbie

    Zebbie Master of Nothing
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    My psych said Paxil is pretty known as a weight gainer - my weight’s gone down a little on Lexapro, but I think it hasn’t gone down more because of the stress of the divorce I’m in the middle of at the moment.
     
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  15. CTownND

    CTownND Well-Known Member

    Yeah, this is how I feel. Been on it for like 4 weeks now. When I'm like two beers in, I already start to feel a little buzzed when previously it had no effect (I'm 230 pounds). When I'm like 6-8 beers in, I'm fairly hammered when before it would just kind of be a decent buzz.

    I guess that's all stuff I'm able to manage - drink slower at the start, drink less - but I was more just worried if there's any exacerbated kidney/liver/etc. damage with it.
     
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  16. TC

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    I honestly haven't read up on that -- I figured the warnings not to drink on it had to do with alcohol being a "depressant" and it could upset your balance. Overall I don't think heavy drinking is conducive to a mentally healthy lifestyle for me anyway at this age so that's not a concern for me; just an extra incentive to drink a little less
     
  17. Pharm

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    Things have been a little weird for me lately. Things are going well and I'm generally pretty happy but I just get super down in the dumps recently. I have a history of substances abuse and I really am not crazy it, but I just get quick to anger and super down randomly. Dr. Thinks I might need to be on a low dose anti depressant. Just kinda worried how my wife will take it.
     
  18. JCort

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    For the symptoms you’re describing, I’d try some therapy first. If these things aren’t around the clock issues medicine may not be needed. Ultimately, life is going to throw these moments at you and figuring out ways to cope with or reframe your thoughts will be better in the long run. Best of luck.
     
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  19. Pharm

    Pharm Right Handed
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    I'm in therapy for my addiction which basically is how to cope with what life throws at you. It's just life is pretty good right now and i notice I'm getting down more.
     
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  20. JCort

    JCort oiling and lotioning, lotioning and oiling
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    Ah, I gotcha. If you’re already talking about those things with your therapist there, and not just solely addiction focused, then medicine would be another idea for augmentation. Typically best outcomes are seen with a little of both (meds + therapy).
     
  21. CTownND

    CTownND Well-Known Member

    Quick update on my situation.

    -Think I need to change my depression medicine dosage. I'm feeling really high highs and really low lows. Thought about suicide for the first time a couple weeks ago on the first night I spent in my one bedroom which kinda scared the shit out of me. As much as I hate to say it, I think I'd rather be on a medicine that numbs everything then gives me these crazy intense moments.

    -Ex-gf is treating me ok. Move-out was fairly uneventful. We text once in a blue moon but nothing crazy. She spent the holidays with her family in Canada and told me she is "going to move home soon" which I think was just to get a rise out of me, but may be true. I felt a bit shitty afterwards, but overall think I'd be fine if she's gone. Transition to being friends is kind of ok actually.

    -Everything about my relationship with Girl #2 is becoming "more." We've had sex a couple times now. Our fights are getting more intense. Feelings are getting more intense. She said she's still working things out with the BF and doesn't think there's "a pathway for us to be in a relationship RIGHT NOW," but I've heard shit from her friends that leads me to believe she may be more with him then without him. I confronted her about it last night and she blew up on me - "fuck you forever, never talk to me, I'm blocking you" type shit. It's the same cycle - big fight, 2-3 days of no talking, 2-3 days of normal, 2-3 days of 24/7 talking, hook up, and repeat. I need to ween her out of my life but I'm co-dependent on her right now. She makes me feel validated.

    -As in other girls, feel like my life is in neutral. Moved out weekend before Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving weekend with family, had to work over a weekend a lot, this weekend I crashed after a work trip, etc. I feel like until I just get out there, get drunk with my buddies, and meet a couple girls, I'm going to be stuck on Girl #2. When I flew back to LA after Thanksgiving, we landed in a terminal where you have to take a bus back to the main terminal. There was a cute girl on the flight across the aisle from me, and when I got on the bus, she sat down in the seat next to me. She started talking to me and I found out she lives near me, just moved from Dallas, works 5 blocks from where I work, etc. Somehow when we got to the parking lot after 10-15 mins of talking, I didn't ask her number, and I don't know her name. It was partially being stuck on Girl #2 + partially self confidence / depression + being neutered by the GF all these years, but I've been kicking myself for 2 weeks about this.
     
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  22. southside

    southside Well-Known Member
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    Your new girl is textbook borderline personality disorder. Fucking run man. Fast. Read the book I Hate You dont Leave Me, it’s about he
    Be patient with yourself brother. That’s the biggest key, you have had a lot of churn
     
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  23. JCort

    JCort oiling and lotioning, lotioning and oiling
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    I don’t know about borderline, but likely some cluster B personality traits to go along with dependence issues. Toxic regardless.
     
  24. Zebbie

    Zebbie Master of Nothing
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    Not sure how many of you followed my saga in the divorce thread, but I move out Saturday...divorce should be final probably sometime in February. Been feeling pretty shitty about myself for the last week or so, between all of the feelings/memory flashbacks I’m having as I pack up my stuff, to feeling sad because I’ll only see my son half of the time now instead of every day, to feeling sad more because I don’t know how often I’ll see the dogs since the ex is keeping them...it’s just a lot of shit to deal with at once.

    Not really looking for any advice or anything, just needed to get that outta my head.
     
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  25. DuckKin

    DuckKin Well-Known Member

    Maybe he should also be looking for the reason why he is attracted to toxic personalities as well.
     
  26. Wu

    Wu LKY did nothing wrong
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    Update: just found out I got a permanent job at one of the biggest companies in the world.

    Was literally numb and trembling for a few minutes I’m so pumped.

    Just a reminder to you all that believe in yourself if nothing else.
     
  27. Fecta23

    Fecta23 Well-Known Member
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    That sounds awful man. Especially not being able to see your kid all the time. Keep your head up.
     
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