Do you feel bad for her

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Tony Perkis, Sep 6, 2015.

  1. Tony Perkis

    Tony Perkis Living My Best Life
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    The struggle to be taken seriously in the age of subtle sexism

    *Blake Dodge is a female athlete at UNC

    *She is cognizant of how others, particularly men, view her

    *Every unwanted comment adds to heavy load women must carry

    [​IMG]
    Blake Dodge of Beaufort is a student-athlete at UNC-Chapel Hill.

    BY BLAKE DODGE

    I identify as female. I am apparently a conventionally attractive student-athlete at UNC-Chapel Hill. I grew into my ears a few years back. I have lighter eyes and darker skin, and with the exception of a bit of an eyebrow discrepancy, my face is generally symmetrical.

    Writing this now, I feel my stomach drop. In a culture that regularly exploits sexuality, it’s ironically unacceptable when women openly acknowledge it themselves. But hear me. The following is a string of subtle and routine occurrences that make me feel less human and should take their rightful place among the larger narrative of sexism in contemporary America.

    When I wake up at 6 in the morning for practice, I put on spandex that will ride up and allow my legs to chafe. I know this is because I don’t have a thigh gap like most of the distance runners on my cross-country team. I eat an easily-digestible carb and make a note of the calorie count.

    After “a good early-morning chafe,” as I call it, I change into dry workout clothes, this time being careful not to wear too much “Carolina gear.” I do this so as not to give my professors and peers another reason to discount me.

    I head to a study space. I sit with a classmate – a good friend of mine since freshman year. He identifies as male. Another male-identifying friend approaches. They engage in a “bro dap”: a sort of masculine greeting ritual. The newcomer, my friend, acknowledges me second with a nod of his head: “What’s up, Blake?”

    I check my email. My student government group co-director, who identifies as male, has taken it upon himself to send a mass email to our organization and relevant tangential members to schedule a meeting. I am CCed along with four others. They are not co-directors. The body of the email bounces between “I” pronouns to set an agenda for the first meeting of year. It concludes with his signature. The first reply thanks him for “getting this started.”

    I go to class. We are discussing Islam in modern society. I chime in. A neighbor, who identifies as male, leans over from across the aisle: “You can’t be pretty and smart.” He thinks he’s giving me a compliment. There is an awkward pause as he waits for me to meekly deny my sexuality. I do not comply. He turns away. I’m not sure he actually listened to anything I said.

    I call home. I tell my dad I’m starting a nonprofit that redistributes collegiate athletic shoes. “Is that so?” he asks with a confused inflection. “Isn’t that a bit much?”

    He means well.

    I head to the gym to cross-train. I mount a sweaty elliptical. I’ve forgotten my headphones and can’t manage to tune out all the curious pairs of eyes: some looking at my butt (big for a white girl, I know), some looking at my chest (small, given my butt), and some daring to meet my own. I cannot help but feel a sting of guilt because I know I just sent them daggers.

    I go to afternoon practice. I attend a slew of meetings. I go to the Union because my house of bone-tired runners hasn’t had time to schedule a wifi appointment. I work into the night. I have to walk home with a friend who identifies as male because it’s dark out. He pokes fun at me for a relationship of sorts I had last year. I don’t know how he knows. I hope he’s not flirting. I hope I’m not flirting.

    I take a shower followed by inventory: an admittedly pathetic and self-deprecating ritual in which every female partakes. Neck: good. Lower stomach: could use some work. Face: breaking out again. Thigh gap: still not a thing.

    I go to bed and think about my projects and my callings. Law school. Public service. Economic injustice. Songwriting. Halifax County schools. Filmmaking. Where did I put that SD card? Writing.

    I fight others every single day to be taken seriously. But at night, I fight off my own insecurity that I cannot make a difference because of how others perceive me. Sometimes, I do this in vain.

    I have the utmost empathy for my male peers. But for every “pretty and smart” comment I get (and for the ones that aren’t even that flattering), for every patronizing inflection and for every inadvertent power grab at my expense, you add a grain of sand to the increasingly heavy load we women carry. You perpetuate sexism in environments where it absolutely cannot belong.

    I’m sorry if I’m wrong.

    Blake Dodge of Beaufort is a sociology and economics major at UNC-Chapel Hill.
     
  2. Jigga

    Jigga I am Steve Rogers
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  3. kslim

    kslim EMAW
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    Pretty long winded rant just to tell us shes attractive and knows it
     
  4. jonbenetramsey

    jonbenetramsey Well-Known Member
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    This has to be an article from The Onion, right?
     
  5. Tobias

    Tobias doubtful...not with brexit
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    i bet she woulda ran the ball with elijah hood from the 3
     
  6. Tony Perkis

    Tony Perkis Living My Best Life
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  7. NineteenNine

    NineteenNine Divers are, in fact, wankers. It's science.
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    Wow.
     
  8. Jigga

    Jigga I am Steve Rogers
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    Anyone who describes every other person as how they identify I'd be ok with them taking a drive off a cliff
     
  9. AUB

    AUB My apple crumble is by far the most crumble-est
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    , who identifies as a female cunt*
     
  10. Eric The Viking

    Eric The Viking Nitro, the All Knowing
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    She seems to take herself, and life, way too seriously.
     
  11. Tiffin

    Tiffin Florida is a penis.
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    The only thing that was remotely offensive was the guy that used the cheesy pick up line in class, because what is this The Breakfast Club?
     
  12. heelfan

    heelfan Well-Known Member
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    Welcome to UNC, where we get bombarded with stupid shit like this on a daily basis.
     
    Gaffrican, marcus, KNOTT and 2 others like this.
  13. Tobias

    Tobias doubtful...not with brexit
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    you were the dude who said "you can't be pretty and smart" to her, weren't you
     
  14. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
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    I identify as male
     
  15. Brewtus

    Brewtus Got dat juice
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    She really does seem like a miserable person.
     
    devine likes this.
  16. EdmondDantes

    EdmondDantes Both winner in league and apparently at life, haha
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    I feel bad for myself that I haven't seen her naked yet
     
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  17. Rape Ape

    Rape Ape six foot twenty fucking killing for fun
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    stop trying so hard good lord.
     
    IV likes this.
  18. TaylorFartinez

    TaylorFartinez moronic poster, at best
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    woe is her. the burden she must endure being an attractive, white college athlete. prayers for her and her family.
     
    #18 TaylorFartinez, Sep 6, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2015
  19. Jim Brockmire

    Jim Brockmire I think you're wildly underestimating heroin.
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    I kept waiting for her to reveal that she had a cock and balls or something.
     
  20. Futureman

    Futureman I’m gonna defer to Marcus on this one
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    Woe
     
  21. jokewood

    jokewood I can be spicy
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    Being a pretty, college-educated white girl is almost as hard as being a white male in America.
     
  22. heelfan

    heelfan Well-Known Member
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    Caught me.
    The whole "Identify as a male thing" is like a parody of itself sometimes.
     
  23. Tobias

    Tobias doubtful...not with brexit
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    woe nelly!
     
  24. Maybe if she didn't "identify as female" she would know about Gold Bond. Since I "identify as male" I know that a little powder on the nuts would eliminate that "early-morning chafe."
     
  25. Shiggityshwo

    Shiggityshwo from the porch i take a pee
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    they really were some well constructed sentences for such a pretty girl though
     
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  26. Moxin24

    Moxin24 Show me that smile
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    almost
     
  27. TaylorFartinez

    TaylorFartinez moronic poster, at best
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    thank you for your service
     
    Futureman likes this.
  28. elfrid

    elfrid nba champ by 2030
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    *do you feel bad for one who identifies as female
     
    TaylorFartinez likes this.
  29. Tony Perkis

    Tony Perkis Living My Best Life
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    She'll make a good housewife some day
     
  30. jltperson

    jltperson Making The Mainboard Great Again
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    She seems like she'd be great at parties
     
  31. CaneKnight

    CaneKnight Fuck Donald Trump
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    I identify as a Meat Popsicle
     
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  32. kslim

    kslim EMAW
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    Won 14 state titles and was awarded the cain scholarship sounds like she was a real bitch to recruiters
     
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  33. CaneKnight

    CaneKnight Fuck Donald Trump
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    BTW the person who wrote that article needs to smoke some weed or something.
     
    RapesWithaSmile likes this.
  34. Shiggityshwo

    Shiggityshwo from the porch i take a pee
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    kind of seems like Scarlett Johansson in that weird movie where she eats everyone
     
    leroi likes this.
  35. Jigga

    Jigga I am Steve Rogers
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    Until you get accused of rape and kicked out of school 3 days later for giving her a hug
     
  36. Cornelius Suttree

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    The lack of a thigh gap makes it hard to feel anything but contempt for her
     
  37. kslim

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    She can identify rapists
     
  38. Poe Dameron

    Poe Dameron The best fucking pilot in the galaxy
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    people with latka lips creep me out.
     
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  39. Cornelius Suttree

    Cornelius Suttree I am a landmine
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    She makes me even happier Stuart Scott is dead
     
  40. Shiggityshwo

    Shiggityshwo from the porch i take a pee
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    well that's not very nice
     
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  41. Jigga

    Jigga I am Steve Rogers
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    I met a male friend for coffee, he identifies as a rapist
     
  42. Tony Perkis

    Tony Perkis Living My Best Life
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    Dude
     
  43. kslim

    kslim EMAW
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    Baylor will allow the transfer
     
  44. CloudBerry

    CloudBerry Well-Known Member
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    Just because Larry Fedora can't be both pretty and smart doesn't mean she can't.
     
  45. Gtr

    Gtr Guest

    Need to see this butt that is a little too big for a white girl before I can form an opinion.
     
  46. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys. #AioliBoys
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    She's pretty mediocre looking to be so smug about her "conventional good looks."
     
  47. eHo

    eHo Fan of teams that never win shit and the Seahawks.
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    eHo, in case Farta hasn't done it already.
     
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  48. Tony Perkis

    Tony Perkis Living My Best Life
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    [​IMG]
     
  49. CloudBerry

    CloudBerry Well-Known Member
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    I also like how, in the midst of all the complaining abt stereotyping, she casually drops a racial stereotype.
     
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  50. EdmondDantes

    EdmondDantes Both winner in league and apparently at life, haha
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