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Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Bo Pelinis, Nov 12, 2015.
Did we lose that thread? It was so good and figured it would be a good time for a revival.
I have a crazy semi-distant relative who brought a different dude to an extended family Christmas every year for forever basically. One year she brought a guy who thought it was smart to bring a guitar to the first ever event where he meets the family and just started playing Christmas carols without asking anybody. We don't do that shit. We drink beer, play with the kids and their toys, and eat our faces off.
Another year she brought a guy who was ex-military who said he broke both ankles jumping out of a helicopter because he was unaware of exactly how high he was off the ground (25 feet). Same guy told me he jumped off a moving vehicle onto a deer and rode the deer for some distance.
Mostly decent people in my family and in the wife side. However, I still get aggravated I have to spend time with them while off work
Between Dec 25th and Jan 22nd there's Christmas (about 4 of them between her side and mine), my wife's birthday, New Years, Mother-in-law's birthday, my birthday, and Father-in-law's birthday. January 23rd is my real Christmas. It's amazing I don't kill someone or myself in that time frame.
BuckeyeRiot 's post made me drink bleach
Can't fucking wait for the political debate that will be unleashed at thanksgiving this year
Thankfully mostly everyone on each side is good peeps. No drama.
My 1st cousin cancelled thanksgiving this year.
Her wedding rehearsal is 11-3 on Thanksgiving.
The wedding is on Black Friday. She must've got a black Friday deal on the venue.
due to the move only people we really like are coming for Christmas
going to drink a lot, mother in laws boyfriend is Irish and loves pouring me Bushmills, good guy
might try to get a bunch of 60yo's to smoke weed
will still greatly enjoy reading this thread
Thanksgiving is a bust, nearest relative lives in MO and wife will be in Portland working nights in the ICU. Will be me and my cats sharing an extravagant turkey dinner.
Meeting all the extended family on my wife's side for the first time ever (been married 8 years). Everything is being held in lower Alabama and the rest of the fam will be traveling in from Mississippi for Thanksgiving.
I will be extremely disappointed if I don't have some good stories to share.
That is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard.
It's not that bad. To save money (and the environment) , we are going walk from the church to the venue. So that there isn't a valet fee
My wife's mother was one of 13 kids. They've had to rent a hall since the 1970's. We had over 100 people for dinner in 2013. No catering, she has an aunt who assigns everyone a dish like a military operation.
Friendsgiving will be too legit this year. Buh-lee dat!
This sounds nice
Mother n law is paying for her kids and family's to go away for thanksgiving. Not happy I have to drive to South Carolina. At least my brother in laws are fun to drink with.
That's Protestant whiskey
Its hard to find 6-7 relatives I can stand to be in the same room with as it is
It's basically like a wedding reception. You never get stuck talking to anyone too long and someone always gets too drunk.
They rent a golf course clubhouse. It has a banquet room, a bar room, and a lounge area with couches.
I have another relative who I'm pretty sure is the pool boy's kid who steals turkey from Thanksgiving to feed to her 17 dogs and cats because she works at a convenience store and can't afford to buy them food. Luckily convenience stores hire felons. She has a television for them when she is at work. They like to watch cartoons and animal planet. I know this because if you get within a few feet of her on holidays you're in for an ear raping. I listened to her for 20 minutes one Thanksgiving with another relative, who found an out to excuse herself, and left me fuckin taking grenades from white trash Melissa McCarthy.
At this point it's pretty much
she is a god awful human being. that is so incredibly selfish.
One time my drunk great uncle passed out and hit the floor at the the thanksgiving dinner table and everyone finished eating dinner as if nothing happened
my cousin recently had a child with the largest head you can imagine
her dream home is a double wide on a large plot of land
she posts pics of him in confederate flag baby outfits on facebook
as someone whose nickname at times during childhood was Bighead I resent the above post
does that family name happen to start with an M by any chance?
I must see these pics, I can only imagine like this baby wrapped in the confederate flag sitting in the grass with pyro and monster trucks in the background for effects like glamour shot style.
This has serious potential. Will be disappointed if there isn't at least a fistfight.
I now plan ski trips with wife, kids and friends we like starting the day after Xmas in order to avoid other family members during that time
Spending Thanksgiving with my girlfriend's family. They don't drink (Southern Baptist) and apparently her mom "doesn't like sports on during the holidays." Nice people but . I'm a much more talkative/outgoing person when I'm drinking (don't even have to be drunk). It's no wonder they all think I'm really quiet. I fucking hate talking to people sober.
Luckily they are local so I can come home and get shitfaced and watch the Bears-Packers game in peace.
Southern baptist inlaws. Staying at their 2 bedroom house with sister in law and her two kids including an infant. i hate the holidays so much.
Our bloodline has been pure for over a hundred generations!
A couple years ago I got drunk twice at my mothers thanksgiving. Started drinking early. Got drunk. Passed out. Woke up and started drinking again.
That is exactly what it's like to be with my family on the holidays.
It's now kind of become a ritual for me to recreate the event.
Seriously this thread was what I was raised for.
Airport bottles and a one hitter my friend
my wife's father is the youngest of 12. They are all married with multiple kids and all live in the area. Thanksgiving is the only holiday they all do together and they don't rent squat. Luckily most do pretty well so they have big houses (they rotate) but a few years ago it was at my in laws and my wife made everyone sign in to keep count. Ended up with over 180 that came through. Needless to say we haven't gone in like 4 years.
Other fun thing is that this year we're in a new place with extra rooms and we're having the pleasure of both my parents coming in town (divorced since I was 3) and staying with us for the weekend along with her blood mother who's not right after a stroke a year or two ago, and my MIL's fairly annoying sister who she lives with. They're also staying with us for 2 days. Fun times
Get to spend this delightful thanksgiving holiday seated comfortably between my alcoholic aunts and the evangelical grandmother that made them the way they are.
I might be dead if I didn't have tmb during the holidays
My grandmother always said it wouldn't be the holidays if there wasnt some blood shed.
Otherwise, Im that family member. Thanksgiving is for football, college basketball, turkey, and booze. I dont give a fuck. Turn the TV to the game. I at least keep a cooler iced down in the trunk. My wife's family loves me........
My relatives manage to completely ruin football.
Uncle(s) before every play: "gonna be a run here, yep. See... oh will ya look at that, a pass. Worthless coaching. Garbage. You don't gotta be Bill Lombardi to know you run the football."
Cousin(s): "Throw it to Megatron! Fucking throw it to Megatron! Throw it... YES... fuck yeah, high five, that's a fantasy point! Fucking (some colleague only he knows) eat that shit"
I think I'm gonna top off my coffee with a few shots. Should be enough to get me through.
My extended family on both sides is completely normal and that said my Grandfather's wife is a completely different animal. She's got 5-7 kids (I've never kept up) and every one of them is weird as hell. One told my cousin who is 6'5" as a 12-13 year old that there was a negative correlation between height and intelligence. How does an adult in their right mind think that it is a smart idea to tell a kid that because he is tall he is a dumbass. I've got a ton of stories and will be adding to this after my Grandpa hosts us for a joint party.
My fam's get togethers are pretty tame outside of a little Carolina-Clemson trash talk between me and the bro in law.
Nope, different family.
Pretty amazing that you guys are still doing it at someone's house. My wife was four years old the last time they tried to host it in someone's house.
Do a shot every time someone says benghazi
You and your cats crack me the fuck up, man.
I have family members who are for vaccination choice and believe they can cause autism. Sometimes I get drunk and yell at them. Maybe Im the family member they complain about on their religious forums.