Family members around the holidays

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Bo Pelinis, Nov 12, 2015.

  1. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    This is going to be a wild ride.
     
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  2. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    My parents are barely speaking due to a game of Munchkins. My dad killed my mom and so she's angry.

    My brother is currently feeling guilty for emotionally cheating on a girl he's in a long distance relationship who legally can't visit him in the U.S. due to Covid visa restrictions with his sort of ex who lives in Hawaii. So that's a thing.
     
  3. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    I'm vicariously enjoying your family quite a bit.
     
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  4. Han Solo

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    That honestly sounds like an awesome time, just observing all that shit with a cold beer in hand.
     
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  5. Can I Spliff it

    Can I Spliff it Is Butterbean okay?
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    IDK where to put this

     
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  6. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby Daddy’s #1 Candy Baby
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    Jim Dees would never allow this shit to happen
     
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  7. Han Solo

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    Danny Trejo is the coolest dude ever. From legit jail to Hollywood. Even has his own fucking cookbook now. Seems like an awesome guy.
     
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  8. Zebbie

    Zebbie Hey Mike, guess what I have in my underwear?
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    Sounds like road beers should’ve been purchased beforehand
     
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  9. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Out picking up food from two different restaurants cuz dad wanted a burger, not anything from the restaurant the other 4 of us agreed on
     
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  10. OZ2

    OZ2 Well-Known Member

    I loathe this kind of person.
     
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  11. Jimmy the Saint

    Jimmy the Saint The future is a benevolent black hole
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    Fucking boomers.
     
  12. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
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    where is the place everyone else wanted?
     
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  13. wes tegg

    wes tegg I'm a Guy's guy, guys.
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    Notburgers'
     
  14. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Just a deli since we had a lunch.
     
  15. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Been trying to leave for 15 minutes and three different people have decided they need to poop before we can leave. Now we have three bathrooms but do they all go at once? No! The decision to poop is made only after someone else poops
     
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  16. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    Its like yawning
     
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  17. ashy larry

    ashy larry from ashy to classy
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    didn’t have to poop but now I think I do
     
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  18. backinblack23

    backinblack23 Bang Biscut
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    I wouldn’t want to poop in the bathroom that has the lingering poop smell either.
     
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  19. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia Thought Leader in Posting
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    Sounds to me like they are running train on the same toilet
     
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  20. Constant

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    Serial poopers are the worst.
     
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  21. backinblack23

    backinblack23 Bang Biscut
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    I meant the one that was plugged before hand. That smell will last for days. Fresh shit smells better than stale shit.
     
  22. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Nobody knows shit smell better than someone from Iowa.

    Because of all the manure. For the corn.
     
  23. backinblack23

    backinblack23 Bang Biscut
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    That’s the smell of money.
     
  24. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    So a liter and a half of beer into a German restaurant I'm apparently asking my mother if my elementary school teachers were hot, in case y'all thought I was the non trash bag of the family
     
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  25. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    FIFI
     
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  26. WillySaliba

    WillySaliba Well-Known Member
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    On vacation now with the in laws. Nothing monumental and for the most part good to go. They’re all extreme morning people and go through the sleep and wake up routine like some families shit as rest stops. I am the type that can make it to noon in under ten words if it was up to me. They probably talk more at breakfast than I do all day.
     
  27. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    let’s have a traitors day celebration
     
  28. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Been "packing the car" for 45 minutes, my dad's sole responsibility was to get off his ass and unplug his laptop, and we've been waiting on that to leave for 20 minutes. It took half that long to get my 11 year old packed and dressed with her mom calling her at the same time
     
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  29. Hank Scorpio

    Hank Scorpio Globex Corporation, Philanthropist, Supervillain
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  30. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    The jbr household thanksgiving schedule:

    - My parents are coming down tomorrow. They leave Monday.
    - SIL gets here Tuesday, BIL gets here Wednesday, in laws are coming up Thursday.
    - They will likely all leave Friday.
    - So it’s essentially 8-9 straight days with guests.

    The jbr household thanksgiving wildcards:

    - My wife is PMSing hard right now so a nice period attitude with my mom here will be fun. (My wife and mom get along great, but it’s always touch and go for the first 24-36 hours.)
    - My FIL has made it known he doesn’t want to come to our house for thanksgiving and would rather the holiday celebration happen at his house. My wife has to work at 6am the day after thanksgiving which is why we can’t do that. He doesn’t care.
    - I’ve met my BIL twice in 11 years. (He’s military.) He recently divorced his wife of 17 years for someone he met overseas, got reprimanded/is leaving the military prior to full service, and is in constant crisis around mental health, alcoholism, life, etc. He wants no help from anyone/anything except for the 2am calls threatening suicide a few times per month.

    This is the first time my wife’s family will be together in probably 7 years. While I think it will be fine, there is potential for some fireworks.

    And it’s all happening at my 2000 sqft house.
     
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  31. fsugrad99

    fsugrad99 I'm the victim here
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    That sounds like my hell
     
  32. Can I Spliff it

    Can I Spliff it Is Butterbean okay?
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  33. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Jesus if they’re kicking your BIL out at 17 then he fucked something up in a fairly big way. Easy enough to shuffle a fuckup somewhere where he can ride out the last few years making some Junior enlisted peoples life hell with a pretend mission than go thru the paperwork of booting a senior NCO.

    Edit: or he refused to get the COVID vaccine.
     
  34. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    Maybe he was married before military
     
  35. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    He’s not getting kicked out (as far as I know). He got assigned a desk job as punishment for whatever he did and is leaving at 18 years instead of the full 20. I don’t really know all the details and/or terminology, but that’s my civilian understanding of it.
     
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  36. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Ah ok.
     
  37. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Man, sticking it out for two years would benefit him so much.
     
  38. Funshot Residue

    Funshot Residue Mammoth Stabber
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    He sounds like the type who would TOTALLY follow common sense advice. Godspeed jbr
     
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  39. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    Believe me…this is one of the 10 elephants that will be in the room. My FIL is a 30 year retired AF colonel and the BIL is some military hot shot.
     
  40. Can I Spliff it

    Can I Spliff it Is Butterbean okay?
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    The guys at jbr's think im just some dumb hick

    They said that to me at thanksgiving
     
  41. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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  42. backinblack23

    backinblack23 Bang Biscut
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    So your brother is a military hot shot, but is quitting after 18 years, not willing to stick it out for 2 more years, has some alcohol demons and threatens suicide multiple times. I would love to hear more cause these traits usually don't mix and get you very high up the command ladder. Do some more recon and report back to us.
     
  43. BuckeyeRiot

    BuckeyeRiot Team Nicki
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    4.5 year old came home from preschool with incontinence and sinus Friday. We’re headed to get a Covid test this morning. Might be thanksgiving pizza rolls and beer for me this year.
     
  44. electronic

    electronic It’s satire!
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    Best thanksgiving ever (assuming everybody is ultimately healthy).
     
  45. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Hoping for the best results
     
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  46. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    Update #1 on hell week

    My parents have been here since Thursday. No big deal. My dad is 10 years into Parkinson’s and completely gone. It’s very sad.

    We have a guest bedroom/bathroom downstairs where family stays. My dad (remember…essentially a potato) apparently didn’t make it to the bathroom and shit himself in the bedroom. There is now poop on the carpet/bed and we have 48 hours to turn everything over until the next set of guests get here.
     
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  47. BuckeyeRiot

    BuckeyeRiot Team Nicki
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    If he has Covid he’s doing great so far (knock on wood). Beyond a runny nose and the occasional cough he’s full of energy, breathing fine. We’re both vaccinated as are our sitters/in-laws. We’re as protected as we can be but preschoolers are going to bring stuff home even when they’re masked.
     
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  48. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    Sorry to hear about your dad.
     
  49. ashy larry

    ashy larry from ashy to classy
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    is poor kitchen hygiene an old ppl thing? saw my mil handle raw turkey and sausage then touch all over other cookware without washing her hands wtf.
     
  50. John McGuirk

    John McGuirk member of the blue tiger club
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    Can’t wait to get this thread fired back up. It’s holiday tradition
     
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