Family members around the holidays

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Bo Pelinis, Nov 12, 2015.

  1. DollarBillHokie

    DollarBillHokie Usher is the worst
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    50 fucking dollars on Amazon. Bullshit

    It is $7.99 on the company’s website, but I don’t want them to have my info
     
    #5901 DollarBillHokie, Nov 24, 2021
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2021
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  2. ramszoolander

    ramszoolander Iron n' Fried
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    Not gonna lie, I'm disappointed since I figured he managed to knock the cake on the floor, etc.
     
  3. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    Not gonna lie, was expecting this to be more of a disaster based on the preface
     
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  4. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    is he at least drunk?
     
  5. GoodForAnother

    GoodForAnother in honor of the revolution its half off at the gap
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    he stopped drinking in the 80s
     
  6. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    Jesus Christ how old is he?
     
  7. Eathan Edwards

    Eathan Edwards Well-Known Member
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    This got an audible laugh
     
  8. mb711

    mb711 West Coast Barner
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    I've been there
     
  9. Name P. Redacted

    Name P. Redacted I have no money and I'm also gay
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    GFA’s in laws are very cool. I’m Facebook friends with his FIL and occasionally leave thinly veiled sexual innuendo as comments.
     
  10. poetictrojan

    poetictrojan Well-Known Member
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    Tonight is like a light appetizer with my sister and BIL here only. Sister who has never earned more than $10/hour complained for 30 minutes about the price of super cars but don’t worry they have started coming down! BIL went on a ten minute rant about bail and what happened in Wisconsin but no hard Rs. I’ll call tonight a success.
     
  11. ohhaithur

    ohhaithur e-Batman
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    Hope he stayed tuned in!
     
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  12. GoodForAnother

    GoodForAnother in honor of the revolution its half off at the gap
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    71 I think?
     
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  13. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    Cheaper than paying severance packages for layoffs!
     
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  14. Pasta88

    Pasta88 Canes, Bruins, Raps, Jays and Sunderland.
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    What are FIL’s thoughts on the train-aficionado, viral sensation Francis Bourgeois? Too mainstream? Or a saint for finally getting trains some more clout?

     
  15. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
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    dead.

    :ded:
     
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  16. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
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    Things are heating up at the jbr house.

    My FIL is playing the hits and had to cancel Harvard Business Review/MIT Sloan Management Review because they are just too woke these days. He doesn’t read those magazines for advice about diversity and inclusion, he reads them for ideas on engaging and motivating his workforce.

    Plus, he knows what it’s like to be a marginalized minority as a white man living in Hawaii and Japan. He doesn’t need a lesson on that subject since he’s actually lived it.
     
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  17. roggins

    roggins Butcher of Bakersfield & Chris Gaines impersonator
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    It’s a thanksgiving miracle! SIL and boyfriend are back together! Back up to 17 people. Can’t wait for him to show up in a tank top, jeans, and black boots. He also doesn’t like football and prefers to discuss his electronic music that he makes.
     
  18. Hoss Bonaventure

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    Have you ever asked him to play some of his music for the family?
     
  19. GoodForAnother

    GoodForAnother in honor of the revolution its half off at the gap
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    npr sent me this a month or two ago and I’m waiting for the right moment to show him
     
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  20. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
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    that moment is today.
     
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  21. roggins

    roggins Butcher of Bakersfield & Chris Gaines impersonator
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    No but one time he plugged his phone into by stereo setup and played it. I try to be a nice guy but told him eloquently my house my music fucker. He did bring a ukulele one year and played a song for the fam. I walked outside.
     
  22. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis Not really into dinosaurs right now
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    Reminds me of my relative that brought different dudes to every holiday growing up. One guy brought a guitar and just started playing Christmas music in the living room unprompted.
     
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  23. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    I think GoodForAnother should lean into the train thing for his FIL.
     
  24. BayouMafia

    BayouMafia slowly learning that life is ok
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    No but my wife was just texting with one of her second cousins who mentioned that he made granny’s famous recipe for Jeff Davis Pie. Amusing considering that this cousin is 25% African American

    Some juggsian research tells me that this is pecan pie without pecans topped with bourbon whipped cream. Sounds delightful
     
  25. GoodForAnother

    GoodForAnother in honor of the revolution its half off at the gap
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    he thinks Francis is very entertaining and wholesome. he does not like the go pro angle. I explained that this is just modern cinematography but he doesn’t like the angle.

    “of course over there, trainspotting is a very big deal, not just the type but seeking out the right locomotive numbers, which all have their own histories”

    he proceeded to tell me about his time watching trains with his friend backpacking across Europe until my eyes glazed over
     
  26. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
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    but did he get any sort of humor from the Dick MaButte part or did it go right over his head???

    12 year old me has watch this about 5 times and died laughing every time
     
  27. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
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    My 4 yo just came upstairs to tell me “Grandpa told me he killed bad guys so good guys could help poor people.” I have to tell my wife to tell her dad to stop telling my 4 yo about killing people.
     
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  28. Lip

    Lip Spartan Dawg
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    Who did he kill
     
  29. Houndster

    Houndster $25 Standard Unit
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    You don’t want your 4 year old to support the troops?
     
  30. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
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    No idea. 30 year military. In his mind, probably everyone.

    In my experience, the people that have actually killed people don’t talk about it. So I’m skeptical that his claims are true.
     
    #5930 jbr, Nov 25, 2021
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2021
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  31. Willpépé

    Willpépé Well-Known Member
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    Is this also spandex man?
     
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  32. jbr

    jbr Well-Known Member
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    B7DB2860-8F3F-4DD9-AD6B-3B258E131E7E.gif
     
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  33. Can I Spliff it

    Can I Spliff it Is Butterbean okay?
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    Oh my god lmao
     
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  34. skiedfrillet

    skiedfrillet It's not a lie if you believe it.
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    That’s actually untrue. I brag about my kdr on CoD all the time
     
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  35. poetictrojan

    poetictrojan Well-Known Member
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    BIL is pouring his second bloody Mary of the day here at 930. This is going to go bad a lot earlier than I thought. I’ve decided to lean into it this year so pouring my own screwdriver.
     
  36. Butthead

    Butthead uh hu hu hu

    I swear my mom intentionally delays dinner to fuck with my dad because they don't really like each other anymore

    I stopped by last night to see what was up and the turkey was so frozen you could have killed someone with it if you threw it at them.
     
  37. LookslikeUofI

    LookslikeUofI Well-Known Member
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    Maybe the Road to Surfdom is less

    History abounds with examples of government officials making decisions, well-intentioned or otherwise, that harm others. Unfortunately, these unintended consequences are never anticipated, and rarely considered once they occur. As the Tuttle Twins find in their latest adventure, central planning can ruin people’s lives
     
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  38. Butthead

    Butthead uh hu hu hu

    Road to Surfdom sucks
     
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  39. Butthead

    Butthead uh hu hu hu

    I would honestly prefer a drunken relative at this point because my dad has gotten wound so tight in retirement that honestly he's just kind of a pain in the ass to be around. No booze, no TV during dinner, among other weird control things he does
     
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  40. Lyrtch

    Lyrtch My second favorite meat is hamburger
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    are we just mispelling road to serfdom or am i lost

    but hayek the WOAT
     
  41. Butthead

    Butthead uh hu hu hu

    I'm pre-numbing and just trusted the Samsung text app
     
  42. poetictrojan

    poetictrojan Well-Known Member
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    MIL will not stop nagging me to put the turkey in saying it takes 4-5 hours to cook. I’m telling her it will be 3-3.5 which she says no chance. We have had this same argument three years in a row. Last two years I caved in and bird was done an hour and a half before we wanted to eat. Not caving this year, pouring another screwdriver.
     
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  43. Bruce Wayne

    Bruce Wayne Billionaire Playboy
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    Doing my MIL's today. I didn't find out until after the fact that we weren't sitting down for a formal meal until after everyone except me ate what was prepared. My wife then proceeds to ask me no less than 5 times over the last hour and a half when I was going to eat. Finally I said "Is it really that important that I eat right this second? I promise I will eat, I'm starving." And now I'm an asshole
     
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  44. Upton^2

    Upton^2 blocked just a park away, but I can't really say
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    [​IMG]
     
  45. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey a guy who posted here like five years ago hates me
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    hold fast
     
  46. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    my dumb ass high school senior cousin showed up in a let’s go brandon hat and that’s the extent of the drama so far
     
  47. MtOread

    MtOread chopped and scrooged
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    This cousin just showed up with a water pipe and a quarter of flower lol.

    He was disappointed when I told him that he couldn’t smoke it in my condo because my parents were stopping by before dinner as well, but understood and is now smoking it in the parking lot across the street.
     
  48. LookslikeUofI

    LookslikeUofI Well-Known Member
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  49. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    One of the good things about not getting along with the rest of your family is that you don’t even have to pretend so you don’t get together.
     
  50. dome foam

    dome foam ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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    Different strokes
     
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