Ok…here it goes We’re sitting around before dinner trying to help Meatball come up with gift ideas. He’s aged out of toys and he’s not mentally prepared to ask for clothes. I suggest he search something like “cool gifts for men”. He does that and looks for a minute or two and says it’s all knives and survival stuff like a bracelet that’s really a long rope. I tell him to give me his phone because I wanted to search for those sites that sell “nerd/geek” stuff like replica Thor hammers or Stormtrooper helmets, etc. He hands me his phone with Amazon on the screen, I go to open a new tab, see Pornhub up in one of his tabs. Meatball sees what is happening and clumsily grabs the phone away from me and says “uh wait hold on” as he’s frantically trying to close the tabs. He immediately heads to the bathroom as he’s clearly trying to delete his history Mrs. Celemo sees all this transpire and I can tell she knows what is going on, I shoot her a look and then proceed to open the website. Meatball is trying to act like nothing happened (poorly) and I motion for the wife to follow me. We go into the garage and she immediately flips out, I let her emote and then assured her it’s totally natural. Mrs. Celemo has a hang up about porn thanks to her mom shaming her when she was younger. Anyways I told her she has never spent a day as a 13 yr old boy so of course she wouldn’t understand. I told her to forget about it, to never speak to him about it , and to let me deal with it. blah blah blah I assured her I would talk to him about it which I did. I asked him where he made his mistake. He didn’t know. I told him how poorly he reacted when I saw it and I would’ve totally played it cool and talked to him later about it. Then I have to give him the dangers of porn lecture Mrs. Celemo swears she’s going to try and forget about it and never bring it up again…We’ll see
women being scarred by the concept of porn is insane to me. like y’all know the score, always have. this is that on tape.
OR OR total chad for finding some porn he likes and being like “I’ll come back later to enjoy this” instead of just blasting a load and being overwhelmed with self loathing as he closes all evidence and memory and history
Incredible moment at dinner today. Went to Grandma's per usual, but more people were in attendance than normal. Probably due to my uncle (her son) somewhat suddenly passing away a couple months ago. My sister (who never comes to Thanksgiving) and boyfriend came and while we're eating, the boyfriend asks "who's truck is that outside?" Grandma responds "that was Mark's" (son who just died) BF: "where's he at?" awkward silence followed by someone telling him he just died 3 months ago. BF: "oh, I thought that was Pat" more awkward silence followed by reminding him that he died from cancer 3 years ago. I made a mad dash to the bathroom so I could maniacally laugh and not upset my mom and grandma.
just goes to show you’re a literal unironic complete mind control slave to your dick from like 12-45yo
But CIGARS...that is a smell. I had a boss back in the day who'd smoke in his office in the summers, windows kinda open. God, I loved that smell.
Sweetie, i completely agree with you on how depersonalized and objectifying pornography is. But with OnlyFans, our son can contact and get to know these women, how to talk to them. And it's not that expensive either! With rates this reasonable-
Chrsitmas eve in eighth grade mom calls me to the computer room. “Do you want me to put Pam sucking Tommy on the Christmas cd” I would have rather gotten coal the next morning
lol sounds like my dad. I invited him he declined but said “my heart will be with you guys” I said “okay” he said “ sound happier than that”. I looked at him like “the fuck” all I could say was “yeah ok”.
My mom found porn on the computer, put it on my dad to talk to me, and his main message was “son if you’re going to download this or whatever, just delete it when you’re done”
Speaking of, have you seen the ad for that documentary? Sebass Stan and Lilly James play Tommy and Pan
Use your history or buried bookmarks, Meatball. Leaving tabs open is like leaving a Playboy open on your nightstand so you don't forget which page grabbed your attention.
Reminds me of when I was 14 and we had just moved. I got a nice new bedroom where the internet came and the family desktop was moved into my room. Needless to say I started immediately watching porn on it. Being ignorant of the internet at the time I didn't understand the concept of hiding history or really viruses either. Somehow or another I managed to get a virus that made popups all over the desktop of various very graphic pictures, fake alerts saying i went to some sites with a bunch of explicit names, and other things. Anyways young me just panicked and exited out of all the popups and just turned off the computer and went into the room next door and was with my dad watching tv. About 15 minutes later my 10 year old brother decided to go use the computer and within minutes heard a deafening "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" coming from my room and I knew I was fucked. As my dad and I went in the room I saw a girl with the biggest dick i had ever seen in my young life sitting spread eagle and taking up almost the entire screen. I grew up in a southern baptist household, so needless to say my mom freaked out, but my dad was actually pretty cool about it. (Later when doing a google search i saw the name allison chaines popup under recent searches and got curious and found out who that was, so I guess I got my carelessness from him) Got yelled at for a little while and then my mom broke down sobbing about her precious little boy being gross and I felt like absolute shit. As part of my punishment I had to fix the computer with my dad and while we were there the popup that listed around 85 "visited" sites came up, and with most concern I had heard in my dad's voice all night he asked, "Did you visit amazinggayass.com?" I did not visit amazinggayass.com fwiw TLDR: Made my mom criy and inadvertently exposed my 10 year old brother to a picture of a girl with a huge dick.
This will be a cool tangent. My dad somehow found out I was looking at his porn and removed it all from where he had it and left me a note calling me an idiot and a perv who was going to hell. We never talked about it and I learned how to hide my tracks better. When I caught my son looking at porn I told him to shut it down and to lock his door because his mom or sister could walk in.
Ha something similar happened to me. Found my dad’s stash of Penthouse Variations in his flight bag, I’d use his stash from time to time trying really hard to put shit back exactly how it was. He found out anyways and left a note for “Whoever is going through my stuff” which turned out to be an apology and asking not to be judged
Young meatball is one of us. Proud of him Young Bert wrecked the hard drive of our family pc downloading vids on Kazaa and limewire
Had Thanksgiving at the inlaws. Her parents are just off a bankruptcy plan and have a freshly painted house, a brand new deck and a brand new 86" TV. Clearly they learned nothing from bankruptcy. Wife's step brother is 24 and still lives at home. Got an extremely DUI at 3 pm on a Sunday and also had drugs on him. He didn't go to prison but has to complete classes to stay out. Doesn't do any classes. Complained that it felt like someone was stabbing him in the gut. Refused to go in to the ER because of drug test paranoia. A usual holiday.
I was somehow never caught or suspected, to my knowledge, of watching porn on the family computer. Plausible deniability thanks to my sister absolutely fucking that computer with limewire. We never got the porn pop ups so it was entirely too simple to just pin it on her. I soon learned that apple devices seemed to be impervious to the havoc those old sites could wreak. This is the most useful feature of the iPad, in my opinion.
yeah he is a dick but at least he isn’t an idiot with some shit. He has his booster and still wore a mask when he met his great granddaughter.