Family members around the holidays

When in Rome

 

Update: they came and got the vacuum today. It was a present for his mom

 

But he said mum, right?

 

oi that’s a mi’hy fine hoover you ‘av there innit

 

think the play now is buying your wife the better version of what your neighbor got

for more tips and tricks on being a real stand up guy subscribe to my substack

 

Way ahead of you for her birthday in January

 

Neighbor is 3 girls that are randomly from or went to school in Louisiana. The odds of this happening are ridiculous, but here we are.

 

A person I know (friend would be a reach) in JH is renting a Moose for their Christmas thing for photo ops, this sounds like it could be a next level disaster but I'm not sure how domesticated moose are.

I'll report back after it inevitably wrecks the entire event somehow.

 

Fucking white people…

 

here we go moose here we go clap clap

 

Astoundingly - not white. And no it's not Kanye.

 

Honestly I would attend solely to see how poorly this thing goes but I''ll be back in god's country (either Atlanta or Nola) when it's happening.

I've already requested photos.

 

Holy shit this is gonna be a disaster - looking at the scope of how terrible this idea is.

 

The most Eathan Edwards addendum of all time.

 

He's the most famous person of color here. Do you even read People magazine?

 

Can't we play the tortoise game with that fucker?

 

Never thought I would say the words "I want to ride a moose", but here we are

 

I would pay premium ticket pricing to see a group of drunk people attempt to catch a damn moose. Would likely be safer to have to catch an Alligator.

 

On my way to a modeling gig

 

Canadian Mountees are really missing out on a great idea here

 

The JH militia could have "Guy on a Buffalo" (technically bison) and a moose force if shit hits the fan.

 

I drunkenly wandered out of dinner in Jackson last year and was face to face with a bison. Holy shit are those large animals. I calmly walked backwards back into the hotel and then sprinted in the other direction.

 

I don't feel confident I can take a bison in a car - much less in hand to hand combat.

 

There used to be one in WA when I lived there. I’d literally get off the road (highway) we were taking to just do a drive by. They are absolutely fucking massive. It’s our national mammal and my absolute favorite fact about them is……….. A lot of males are gay. They prefer to mount and be mounted by other males.

 

Lotta subs and doms in the Bison community.

 

There was an emu farm close to where I grew up. Being a drunk high school kid meant many attempts at riding the emus. It never ended well and led to at least one ER visit.

Good luck with your moose.

 

So you’re saying next time I run into one my best bet is to try to fuck it?

 

Yes

 

Bison tipping.

 

Like 50/50 shot it fucks you instead tho.

 

MIL tried to get a canvas printed but just sent the ppl a screenshot of her camera roll

she got a canvas of her camera roll

 

four generations in one photo! plus some other shit

 

Need a pic of this

 

Anything weird on it?

 

Probably a nice pic of his father in laws hog

 

My wife purposely bought my youngest son Xmas pajamas with black Santas all over them just to get a reaction out of my FIL when they come up for the holidays.

 

One of y'all should rock one of these to really get things going downhill.

 

My wife and I are doing mini-Christmas today since I’m (COVID test this week pending) flying stateside for actual Christmas and she’s staying here to do Christmas with her mom.

Yesterday:
Me: *puts Xmas cards in her stocking
Her: …..are we giving each other Christmas cards?
Me: I mean…I assumed so? You like Christmas cards so I got you some?
Her: ….I didn’t get YOU any! *stricken face*
Me: well that’s perfect since you like them and I can take or leave them so sounds like it’s the best of all worlds
Her: *worried face continues*

Today I had to go do Reserves things for a few hours. Whilst I’m there I see a few charges on the card from the shop down the the road. I ask what it was and she said she got a new French press to replace the one that broke earlier that week (which is not technically a lie)

When I get home:
Me: *long look at the Christmas card that is now in my stocking*
Her: Mini Santa said if you mention the card on mini Christmas it’ll make mini baby Jesus cry.
Me: fair enough dear