Family members around the holidays

Is your sister hot? (I mean, aside from her covid fever).

 

Are we related

 

what’s your first and last name? also who was your favorite elementary school teacher and what was your first pet named? i think we might be but just want to confirm

 

Look at this eskimo brother season coming together

 

skiedfrillet pm’d me the info. turns out i’m his dad

 

He came into the office on Tuesday and said "I can walk" like it was an accomplishment.

 

time to jump on the tortoise bandwagon buddy

 

Lmao

 

This sounds like it could have been a title for one of The Hardy Boys books.

 

If you change the first word to MILF you have a Brazzers video

 

He's always posted like he's 5. Makes sense.

 

C'mon, who was it? Was it a conservative jagoff or someone super left?

 

I don't remember whatsoever tbh - this was a while ago.

Also definitely an era best left to fade away. lol

 

Wife came home from her mom’s today with a 500g panatone; apparently one of my MILs friends gives my MIL a full size panatone and she does not like panatone but it’s been going on too many years to say anything, so now that my MIL knows I like them, we get them every year going forward.

 

I had to Google panettone. I assumed it was some sort of prescription drug, but you don't put off that vibe. Italian Christmas cake makes more sense, but I like both versions.

 

Pannetone is delicious.

 

500g would be a lot of drug lol

 

I got a pound of Percocet apparently

 

Yes, but he (WhiskeyDelta ) is running a vacuum stealing crime syndicate, so it all fit in my just woke up from a nap mind.

 

My wife takes exception to the assumption that I’m involved in her crime spree.

 

Did you ever give your neighbors their vacuum?

 

Yes, not gunna look for the post but they eventually came and got it.

 

Apologies, mum. The whole idea of a warehouse full of nicked vacuum cleaners (sweepers?) and illicit drugs does seem like an odd couple. Might make for good TV though.

 

Lollll, forgot about wanting to swipe the vacuum.

 

Peaky Hoovers?

 

update: mom was officially fired today and is being reported to the license bureau.

She starts AA on Friday. No idea what the typical outcome is in the nursing community for showing up to work drunk, but hopefully she can get a job somewhere and get sober

 

that sucks man sorry

 

Not knowing where your gun is with a child in the house.

you are a terrible father and deserve to have your son taken away from you today.

 

Wrong thread?

 

I'm sorry man.

Is she straight up declining a rehab/treatment program?

If her insurance is still covering her before the end of the month, she may could do a 14 day program instead of the full month.

There is always IOP (intensive out patient) where she goes to a "class" a few hours a day. I'm sorry if this is over sharing. I realize it's a lead a horse to water or can only help the willing type of situation.

 

The licensing board usually sends you to rehab.

 

I don't know a lot of details, I'm getting all the info from my sister. My mom either doesn't know that I know what's going on or my sister told her that she told me and she's avoiding talking to me.

 

I'm guessing she just lives off her PTO and 401k until she completes whatever terms they set and gets a new job somewhere. Not sure what those prospects would be though.

 

I know my dad's been a fan favorite in here the last few years, so keep him in your thoughts the next few weeks if you're into that. Ended up in the ER last week and got his gallbladder emergency removed (turned out it was about 85% gall stone) and then back into the ER two days later with pneumonia related to the surgery. I'm bullying my mom about making him take COVID seriously for the next few weeks since he's post-surgery immunocompromised, and now has a lung infection and is on O2 for the foreseeable future, but since he got vaxxed he's not about mask life anymore.

 

TIL my mother does not know what a “twink” is

 

there’s really no coming back from your mom calling you a twink

sorry it had to end this way for you

 

Why were you shirtless grabbing your dick for your Pre-k photo?

 

Catholic school.

 

My in laws are here for Easter weekend. Within five minutes of being here, my FIL says…

“Tomorrow is my 30th anniversary of jump school graduation. Does anyone care? No. Do I get a holiday for defending America for decades? No. Nana (his wife/my kids grandmother) wanted to see the boys play baseball and hunt Easter eggs. I don’t give a shit about any of that right now because nobody cares about celebrating my accomplishments. There will be more baseball games and Easter egg hunts. There’s only one 30 anniversary of jump school graduation.”

Texts to my wife:

 

Put money on a tortoise and make him try to find it - it's the cure all

 

UNNNHH MY JUMP SCHOOL ANI UNNNHHH

 

Someone needs to inform him about Veteran's Day.

 

Or Memorial Day