I love my family but my the family in my moms side just expect too much. My mom was one of three daughters and I guess married husbands who just decided that’s every Holliday was celebrated on the moms side. Then the first grand kids came around and my cousin got divorced so that continued. Well my other cousin and his wife were the black sheep bc they didn’t travel with thr family for every holiday. Then I got married and was like yeah I’m in solidarity with non traveling cousin. Well fuck Me he got divorced and is at every holiday now so I’m like the black sheep. My sister lives like 6 hours away and they will drive overnight to make it for stuff. We have two kids now and two large ass dogs and one that requires monitoring because she has seizures. So traveling isn’t much of an option. Either way, wife and I don’t travel for Christmas and usually won’t for thanksgiving.
I usually don’t have anything to add to this thread because my family and my wife’s families are pretty great. My 2 boys have 9 cousins on my side and all the kids love getting together. My wife’s side is usually great as well, but it could get messy this year. Until this summer, my kids were the only grandkids on that side. My wife’s step dad and my BIL are wound super tight. They are quick to jump on my boys if they are being too wild or too loud, which is all the time because they are young boys. They don’t necessarily yell at them but they are definitely telling them to settle down a bunch. I thought it would get better when my MIL talked to them but my BIL recently had his first baby and he’s more wound up than ever. Im hoping my wife’s other brother and his wife can help play mediator if things come to a head
I’m pretty sure my unemployed BIL is an MGoBlog poster and nobody in my family really likes him so I might be preaching accountability at the thanksgiving table if I get drunk enough and he reacts to the scandal the way I expect him to
I hang out with the family I like a lot and don't think about the shitty ones ever. It's a nice dynamic. Also why I don't have much to share in here
I don't disagree but the problem is that she wants this to be a shared thing between me and her, she definitely texts them more.
Same. Now that my uber religious grandmother has moved to Texas and I likely never have to see her again, I don't have any family nearby that I don't enjoy spending time with.
My family and inlaws are both pretty great, but my mom is a handful. She's not that good of a cook, but insists on doing pretty much everything, gets anxious, and tries to micromanage everyone's interactions.
I don't anticipate my sister putting up with this for more than 3-4 more years so I'll enjoy the easy target while I can
Eh, I think the people with family problems are just the ones sharing the most because a lot of people's family relationships are kinda loving or at least civil and boring. I have a cousin and a few aunts/uncle that I don't care for but nothing crazy and they're easy to ignore.
Sister Nug has three dogs that all live on a farm in Pennsylvania doing horse shit. They're not very well behaved (person and animal), but live out of a barn so whatever. My parents, age 61 and 69, also have three dogs. All little rescue mutts that sit around and eat cheese. Sister Nug wants to come to the South for Thanksgiving, but mainly to drink in New Orleans and bop over to the family around Wednesday/Thursday. So, in the interest of saving a few hundred dollars, rather than boarding the dogs like an adult, she has all three of her dogs shuttled to my mostly-retired parents' house while she stays in Nola for a few days before coming home the day before Thanksgiving. This is relatively mild on her list of transgressions, but I'm not super stoked about the chaos I'm walking into today.
I'm drawing from real life experiences. If you have some magical family that never has had internal issues that seems extremely rare
Every family has their issues/drama/crazies. Some are just better at hiding it or ignoring it than others imo
My mom's side used to have lots of drama but has calmed down ever since the person in question causing it died.
No family is completely drama free, but there’s a significant difference between minor spats or flare-ups and Sister Nug level shit.
My grandpa and his brother opened their own Machinist shop, and it was going well until the brother decided to embezzle money from the business. Caused lots of family drama for years.
when i proposed murdering our problematic family member I stopped getting invited to things. glad to see this worked for at least one family.
Some family’s just aren’t dysfunctional and actually deal with their issues and then enjoy spending time together. Or you just don’t spend time with the dysfunctional members outside of weddings/funerals which is what I do.
Sadly, I don't get to spend time with my redneck family members this thanksgiving as i alternate every year w/ the wife's family. I was really looking forward to seeing my trailer trash cousin and her giant headed children and alcoholic husband who cheats on her constantly.
I have a Norman Rockwell level of love for one side of my family (which is where we're going for Thanksgiving/Christmas/Easter this year). Legit 40-50+ people every holiday. It really helps having several generations of strong loving matriarchs who put a ton of effort into creating and perpetuating positive family traditions/stories/relationships. Nobody is perfect but those sorts of families exist even if it's not very common.
Where are these family events held? I can’t imagine having a huge family. My family is small as it is but no exaggeration I probably speak to 7-8 of them at this point.
It's been at the house of the lady who takes over for her mother or aunt after the previous lady is either too old to do it or passes away for like 60+ years. Has to be pretty large homes. It's a wonderful mad house.
We like both our families, but no one plans shit so we are expected to be the entertainment and planners, which sucks bc we like things outside of the others’ interests. Like I said before, the in laws think everyone has to do everything together at all times. So today at the beach with no one else was glorious
Got great news today, the brother in law finally invited his mom to spend a holiday with them, looks like we might be off the hook for hosting my MIL. Many thanks will given.
When I was 13, my aunt got divorced and I got promoted to the adults table for Thanksgiving. At 16, she got remarried and another aunt moved back to Ohio from Arizona. I got demoted to the kids table again. I didn’t make it back up until I was 22 and my aunt got divorced again.
No, but when she got married a fourth time, she started hosting Thanksgiving instead of my grandmother and had a different set up that resolved all relegation issues.
She sounds like a hairdresser (at worst) or a nurse (at best).* herb.burdette can you confirm? Spoiler *no offense to either job
Pharmacist My mom has two sisters who collectively have been married seven times. Each year was a different set of opportunities and obstacles to earn a seat at the main table for Thanksgiving.
texted my mom “we are going to come visit everyone for the day on Saturday after thanksgiving. Wish we could stay longer but couldn’t find anyone to watch the dogs” Get back “that’s disappointing, guess glad yall can come for the day”
Ahhh the greatest holiday trip of them all - the guilt trip. I know this feeling well. My Dad is pissed because my sister and I don't want to drive 4 hrs round-trip to come spend thanksgiving with our step mom's family. We're of course the assholes for not wanting to spend thanksgiving with 50+ people that we've never met.
Does she not have any friends there that could have fed them for a few days and looked in on them? Who’s watching the horses?
She is queen of it but like the post before this explains. Everyone has basically bent to the will of females of the family so they expect it. my aunt texted me like Two hours after the birth of my first child pissed bc I didn’t message all of my family. I sent it to my mom and grandparents and figured they would disperse the pictures from there like I said. I’ve basically been done with her since that moment
My family has traveled 600+ miles one way every year for thanksgiving and/or Christmas for the past ten years. We decided to stay home this year because we want to enjoy the holidays without the stress of 12 hour drives, airports, etc. My mom, bless her passive aggressive heart, opens every phone call/facetime with some variation of “It’s a shame you won’t be here. It won’t be the same without you. I’ve had so many people ask why you aren’t coming and I just can’t come up with a good reason.”
Doesn’t help that all my wife’s family come to us. We moved to Jacksonville and now they all live in Jacksonville. So yes we see them all the time because they moved to us. Granted my mom has to take care of my grandmother. My mom and her sisters would just take the kids everywhere without the husbands for a lot of the holidays if they had to work or whatever. My wife loves my family but I’m subjecting her to them without me. That’s just not her personality as she can’t relax and has to feel “on” all the time.