Going to Hot Springs, Arkansas Wednesday!!! Spending Thanksgiving with her Grandma who is awesome and her Step Grandpa who is a cunty Italian. Last I spent time with them was helping him drive from Arkansas to FL since they refuse to fly for some unknown reason. Day 1 he refused to stop at Chikfila because of the gay stuff but Subway was perfectly fine for him. Day 2 Grandma made him stop at Chikfila for me and for them to try it since they had never had it. He wouldn't stop complaining about how salty it was while reading off the ingredients to the Chikfila sauce and scoffing at it. God he fucking pisses me off.
My drunken uncle who decided to come out of the closet later in life makes things painfully awkward. Mainly because his three daughters all hate him. We've all been trying to get him to move to Portland for a while but have had no luck.
Inviting a swarm of crackheads to your home obviously sounds like a great idea but, oddly enough, they're not always the most civilized bunch
Uh, has he lived there for awhile? There's a bunch of mafia history in Hot Springs. http://www.hotsprings.org/pages/history/
Cousins bringing boyfriends/girlfriends for thanksgiving is just the greatest. Getting to know someone for three days knowing that you'll probably never see them again is a great way to spend time.
im going with my girlfriend to her family's thanksgiving. interacting with her family is amazing. It's like being in the matrix, her family will fight tooth and nail to avoid reality. can't wait to hear about how genius businessman race realist trump will save the country.
oh me and my cousins would fuck with these types so hard. you had better get a little bit of everything on your plate or not even bother to sit down because you will be ridiculed right out of the house. its happened a couple of times.
aunt: "you should come on the hayride everyone is going" me: "it is kinda cold out. i think i am just hang out around here and watch football. y'all have fun though" aunt: *guilt trip* uncle: "you just gonna hang out here?" me: "yeah i'll help y'all get the fire pit going when you get back" uncle: "sounds good man" aunt: *guilt trip*
i'm convinced my sister in law started dating this guy, who was boring as fuck but nice, like 8 months before our wedding so she had a date that we'd feel obligated to let her bring they broke up like a week after the wedding
My mother's side of the family is full of uber conservative uptight members of the Church of Christ. I generally hate family functions because they were disinterested in my sister and me when we were younger and now want us to feel obligated to come to family holidays. To say that I don't fit in is an understatement. I am pretty sure that my sister and I are the only members of the family that have ever been in school that had a single minority. I got married last year at 30. At that point, I was by far the oldest grandchild without a spouse or a child. I am still the only grandchild without a child and my family cannot understand that having children is not in my near future. I don't necessarily hate that side of the family anymore because they have finally decided to act decently to my sister and me as we have gotten older, but in the past I would have gladly traded them for a Milky Way. Ironically, my other grandparents love me more than all the other grandkids combined and I think they are perfect. When I was about 20, I got tired of hearing my family ask me when I was planning to get married. I guess that they thought getting an education without having a serious relationship was a crime. I decided that the best way to combat this scenario was multi faceted. I began by taking a really nice girl to a family function. The entire family loved her. She was probably wife material and was wonderful around the family. My grandmother made many comments about how nice and pretty she was. I responded with, "Don't get used to her. You'll never see her again." I felt like this would take the heat off of me, but it did not work. For the next holiday, I brought the biggest slut that I knew at the time to family Christmas. She was such trash that her nickname among my friends was Ho Susanna. She proceeded to act like what she is and slutted it up in front of the family and on the ride home in the car with my sister and her husband. My family never asked me about another female again and I got to disgust my sister and be the reason that no one ever sat in the backseat of that car again. Everyone wins.
I dont know if we lost the downy thread (told this story before) or not but i have a downy in law. His name is star and he loves wwf more than anyone on the planet, every christmas when we see him i give him a package of silverware and he goes in the back yard and burries it while we all sit around drinking watching him. The joy on his face makes going to Arkansas worth it. Hes 57 years old
My family is super conservative and my cousin brought her partner back for Thanksgiving last year. Her parents are still convinced it's "just a phase" and she'll grow out of it.
Spending turkey day with the in laws. Currently working on an excuse to get out of the house cause they treat the parade like a damn religious event and I would literally rather do anything than watch a parade
Its true i dont know why but he takes a garden shovel and burries the utensils around the yard. Dont you dare fuck up his dirt pile either or youll be in a blue helmet world of hurt
Had a small party tonight for my wife and the in laws today for her birthday. She picks the meal and I do the whole thing from grocery shop to clean up. I don't ask for help and usually my MIL is the only one that appreciates the effort and will offer to help with whatever dishes don't fit in dishwasher. FIL will just literally sit there and not lift a finger to help. He probably never cooked a meal his whole life. Anyway, I put a movie on that my daughter likes and he sits down and cranks the volume way up. After 20 minutes of all of us damn near screaming...he is the only one in front of the tv. My wife tells me to turn it down so I do. Cut the volume in half and he's snoring so loud the tv was drowning it out. I guess suggesting that maybe I can rub his feet or make him a lunch plate for tomorrow was too much. I just can't believe people do shit like that. (It wasn't even 8 pm when this happened...wake the fuck up)
I think we have the same father in law. At my two year olds birthday party, he goes into my bedroom, climbs in the bed, and proceeds to take a three hour nap. The party ends and as we had everything cleaned up he emerges well rested, digs through the fridge, fixes a plate, and just leaves a complete mess.
People who watch tv loudly when it's reasonable that conversations are going to be taking place are something else. Instantly need to turn that shit down. Like I'm sorry your hearing is so terrible, but get some hearing aids if your capacity is not on the level of normal people. Do they have special phones? I'm just so confused by these types
The downy relative post just reminded me that I have a downy relative, too. We used to have a big family reunion at a country club every year that all of our extended family would attend. After dinner, the kids would usually leave the banquet room and go to the club's swimming pool. At the time, my downy relative was probably around 18 years old. Well, this year, he was furious that he couldn't go swimming with the rest of the family. He was inside screaming and causing quite a ruckus. So, the other kids were quietly shepherded out to the pool in the hope that he would eventually calm down. I remember being in the pool and seeing him sprinting out of the country club and towards the pool, with about 5 adults following, in haste. As he got near the pool, he took off all of his clothes and belly flopped into the pool and let out a bloodcurdling screech after he was in the pool, buck-ass naked. There were a bunch of non-family members also at the pool; it was quite a scene. I also remember an interaction with him at some other family gathering. I don't remember all of the details because I was pretty young, but I know we were in a tree house. He used to have this piece of yarn (maybe a shoelace) that he had with him at all times. He used to constantly play with it and shake it. I think it helped keep him calm, as he had a vicious temper. As I said, I was really young when this incident happened. I don't remember how old I was, but certainly not old enough to understand what exactly was going on with this kid, who was about 8 years older than me. Well, for some reason -- probably because I was a little shithead -- I decided to take his shoelace from him. Big mistake. This led to him screaming at the top of his lungs. He then proceeded to start punching himself in the forehead -- something that, I would later become aware, was a common occurrence. I don't remember much, but I remember being terrified, being up in this treehouse, with what, at the time, seemed like some sort of super villain, bellowing and punching himself while jumping around. I definitely learned my lesson that we do not touch Chris's shoelace. The family reunion, somewhere along the line, died off. So, I haven't seen him for quite some time. And I don't really remember any other interactions with him. But, I have a cousin who is a special education teacher that used to tutor him. She said that she stopped tutoring him because he wouldn't stop jerking off at the table when she was trying to work with him. But, she did have one humorous story about him. Besides playing with his shoelace and repeatedly punching himself in the forehead, one of his other idiosyncrasies was that he was always rocking back and forth. She sometimes had to drive him back and forth from their tutoring sessions. And, if they were stopped at a red light, people would often stare at him convulsing in the passenger seat, which would agitate him. So she began to bob her head whenever they got to a red light, to make it appear is if they were listening to music.
You guys with shitty FILs, I don't get it. All of my family and thier spouses and in laws never really had a problem. Like, my step mom and grandma will go out of thier way to call you on your shit and make you feel as unwelcome and shitty as fuck if you act like a douchebag. We used to have one uncle in law who was the absolute worst to be around tho. He's was a know-it-all dbag who was never wrong and always had to be center of attention. Never disciplined thier kids. They are grown now and decent human beings but me and my brother and sisters would absolutely dred having to be stuck with thier kids for a weekend. One of those weird don't tell them Santa is real types because its "lying to thier kids". He was terrible to be around. Well his "business" ended up going under and he tried to live off my grandparents for a year or two until My grandpa and grandma told him to go fuck himself and told my aunt that she Better divorce his ass or she is out of the family. She did and family gatherings are infinitely better. One year he called me an alcoholic and I've never seen my dad so pissed. His face was RED. I think it was the context of how he said it. When I was younger I got in trouble with booze a time or two. Got "promoted" to bartender at my job at the time. I was 21. So naturally, my grandparents and my parents are talking to me about all that jazz. He blasts out at the dinner table "a lot of good bartenders are alcoholics. You should do great at that job" and I thought my father was about to come unglued. Needless to say, I think that was the last time my dad and stepmom ever invited them over to a family function that they hosted.
I was looking forward to meeting my sister's new bf. Welcome to the family, Dad's pretty harmless once you get to know him and learn to laugh at his antics instead of argue...
A lot of people seem to come from conservative right wing religious families. What brought you to the light? I get in an argument with the one conservative uncle in the family every get together because it's fun to listen to him spew his Fox News bullshit and ranting against Obama. He gets all red in the face and then has to drink more.