Family members around the holidays

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Bo Pelinis, Nov 12, 2015.

  1. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    « I am too stupid to set it up and I don’t want to look as stupid as I really am while you make it work in front of the whole family »
     
  2. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member
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    Sounds like he’s confused by the combination of letters and numbers on the box.
     
    #2852 Whammy Business, Nov 22, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2018
  3. DrunkJester

    DrunkJester No longer drunk or funny.
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    Dyslexia, imo
     
  4. Gambler

    Gambler Hog Fan
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    He's a terrorist.
     
  5. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    That guy has sex with your mom lol
     
  6. Teflon Queen

    Teflon Queen The mentally ill sit perfectly still
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    Honestly his mom is probably pegging this cuck
     
    PAHokieinRVA, Lipp and LetItSoak like this.
  7. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
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    I think we are all still waiting on pics of BamaNug ’s sister...
     
  8. TDintheCorner

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    And this year’s winner for worst relative of the holiday season!
     
  9. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    What does this even mean? Why buy it? This is so weird.
     
  10. Corky Bucek

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    You are 100% right.
     
  11. Corky Bucek

    Corky Bucek Placeholder for a Custom Title
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    No clue. Said in his experience setting up a TV never works right when you first set it up. I told him I’ve never had a problem with new TVs.
     
  12. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    I answered the question!
     
  13. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    You’re Canadian no one cares what you say.
     
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  14. The Hotch

    The Hotch Well-Known Member
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    I have a studio that I rent out to a grad student from NY. Grad student is basically a young version of Dustin Hoffman’s character in Rainman. Great kid but borderline autistic - impressively intelligent but very different socially. He doesn’t have any family in AZ and doesn’t go home for Thanksgiving so he’s been coming to my parents’ for the last couple years. It works out well. We’re glad to have him and he’s glad to be there but he’s comically slow in the buffet line... we’re talking like 10-15 mins to make a plate start to finish. Needless to say this creates quite the bottleneck.
     
    #2864 The Hotch, Nov 22, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2018
  15. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    So why is he a student at zona?

    [​IMG]
     
  16. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    User error imo
     
  17. Corky Bucek

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    No shit
     
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  18. Bill the Butcher

    Bill the Butcher Roscoe's favorite poster
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    Keep em coming guys
     
  19. Corky Bucek

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  20. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
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    My step father in law is smashed and just called his estranged brother and told him what a terrible person his is.

    My wife's family is quality entertainment.
     
  21. Teflon Queen

    Teflon Queen The mentally ill sit perfectly still
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    Those kids already look like they know some fantastic racial slurs
     
  22. Tony Perkis

    Tony Perkis Living My Best Life
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    Got the outdoor fireplace on the porch at the mountain house going and sippin’ on some adult beverages. Life is good, y’all.
     
    -Asshole-, tjsblue, xec and 12 others like this.
  23. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
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    Felt kinda bad about posting that pic so I took it down.

    No telling how they end up. Not very hopeful for them.
     
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  24. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    What was the pic?
     
  25. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
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    Just a pic of these two annoying twins pointing airsoft rifles at the camera
     
    steamengine and Luka like this.
  26. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    Many people having sex with your mother
     
  27. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
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    Obviously you haven’t seen Trop ’s mother.
     
  28. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
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    Weird way to tell Trop you're his brother.
     
  29. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    These mom jokes can backfire sometimes, the good comes with the bad
     
    The Guglia likes this.
  30. bro

    bro Your Mother’s Favorite Shitposter
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    Best post yet
     
    DrunkJester likes this.
  31. DrunkJester

    DrunkJester No longer drunk or funny.
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    Sounds like most folks have had a nice Thanksgiving. How disappointing.
     
  32. chuckmasterflex

    chuckmasterflex Attack and dethrone God
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    People were complimenting my parents' springer spaniel because he is very cute and a good boy.

    My dad, upset that the springer spaniel wasn't advanced in the dog show, took the topic of dogs down a dark meandering path where he told several stories about people he knew whose dogs that were killed by a neighbor's bigger dog.

    I explicitly announced, "People probably don't like hearing about killed dogs at Thanksgiving." So then my dad told another story.

    My dad loves dogs. But he knows that everyone on my mom's side of the family (especially my slob of an aunt) is afraid of dogs. So he was fucking with them. Which I only appreciate hours later.
     
  33. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
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    So it’s just me and my folks and grandparents this year at the grandparents place. My brother who is not here just got a promotion and is going to be staying with my folks for a couple weeks since it’s in the same area he will be living in. My grandmother has been fucking with my folks about it and saying that my brother’s wife and kid with their stupid little dog that pisses all over the house are also going to be staying with them and that it’s going to be more like 3-6 months. My mom is getting all worked up about it and is starting to have a nervous breakdown. My grandma is so great.
     
  34. BWC

    BWC It was the BOAT times, it was the WOAT times
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    Fucking Minden #Nebraska Cornhuskers
     
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  35. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci lying dog-faced pony soldier
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    Open carry at the table, holy fuck :roll:
     
  36. BWC

    BWC It was the BOAT times, it was the WOAT times
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    UCLA is harmless enough, but madre de dios what an animal.
     
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  37. WhiskeyDelta

    WhiskeyDelta Well-Known Member
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    Max acceptable college teams it two: the one you grew up rooting for, and the one you went to.
     
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  38. Voodoo

    Voodoo Fan of: Notre Dame
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    :smug:
     
  39. cutig

    cutig My name is Rod, and I like to party
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    Unless you went to multiple schools
     
    BWC likes this.
  40. panchoswanson

    panchoswanson Well-Known Member

    My niece showed her steers at her first county fair right before my birthday in August. My brother and I had explicit instructions to everyone to stay the hell away from the stalls and chutes so they wouldn’t be in the way, which rubbed all but my dad the wrong way. He knew the process. My niece did very well, my bro, sil, and I celebrated at the fairgrounds, and came back to find fans running, dogs, feed, tractor locked in the shed from the inside, like every single door, sliding, livestock, or otherwise. It was my mother or my sister and her idiot kids. When they were called out on it, instead of admitting fault, they shit chickens and started launching bombs from years ago at everyone while we drilled through a doorknob. I tried to stay out of it but I kept hearing nuclear bitching from everyone so consistently, I told them to cancel the microbrew tour they had planned for my birthday. Saturday will be the first time we’re all together since. Very excited.
     
    #2890 panchoswanson, Nov 23, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2018
  41. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci lying dog-faced pony soldier
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    very true
     
    BWC likes this.
  42. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    Which ocean?
     
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  43. Druce

    Druce Fuck football.
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    I understand next to nothing in this post.
     
  44. REGGNECK

    REGGNECK You wanna know what I been down , DONT BOTHER ME
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    Steers and queers...
     
  45. Tony Perkis

    Tony Perkis Living My Best Life
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    I’m going to be the last of eleven people to take a shower this morning. Chances of there being any hot water left is 0%
     
  46. Randy Dangus

    Randy Dangus Invigorated after sunning my butthole
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    Met up with my fiancé’s aunt and cousin for a hike yesterday after having prime rib brunch with my SILs family. Something wasn’t right, and after about an hour, my stomach started turning something fierce. I suggested we turn around, and they obliged. Well, about 1/3 mile from the trailhead I started jogging to the bathrooms and ended up shitting my pants over the last 50 yards, impressing everyone. It wasn’t a full load into my shorts, but significant. Good look for me.
     
  47. dump

    dump TMB’s premier expert on women’s CBB
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    Hoss Bonaventure
     
  48. Bo Pelinis

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    @Pants shitting thread