Father-in-law things

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by GoodForAnother, Jul 6, 2015.

  1. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
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    Yes I have a 10 year old who wants to constantly talk to me about sharks like he's on coke or something
     
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  2. Festus McBadass

    Festus McBadass Cool ass dog and 5 star recruit
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    2 if he’s lucky
     
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  3. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    This pisses me off. I have 6 grandkids, and would never blow them off like that.
     
  4. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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    18
     
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  5. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    what movie was he watching jbr
     
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  6. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    This is my expectation as well. My wife is adamant about breaking the cycle because he was a shitty dad too.

    My younger one already ignores my FIL because he knows he sucks. For whatever reason, my older one is big into getting his affirmation/affection.
     
    Dump, PAHokie, Taffy and 2 others like this.
  7. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    Dr Strange

    He wasn’t even paying attention. It was just on the tv.
     
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  8. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    To be fair, my 9yo grandson would be the one wanting to watch Dr Strange.
     
    Fuck this likes this.
  9. ashy larry

    ashy larry from ashy to classy
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    church freak FIL texted my wife that we’re doing great raising our six month old (thanks?) but we could do more for her spiritually
     
  10. Daddy Rabbit

    Daddy Rabbit obviously silly and not productive
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    :praisehim:
     
  11. texasraider

    texasraider thanks
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    gotta expose them to as much Jesus as possible while they're too young to be molested or murdered by the church
     
  12. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Oh fuck me I snorted liquid out my nose at that.
     
  13. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    it was really cool when we were at my in laws for dinner last year and we bowed our head's to pray and my 4 year old yells "HEY WE DON'T DO THAT IN MY HOUSE"
     
  14. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Did I invent hip-hop? No, but I was there.
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    [​IMG]
     
  15. Marbles

    Marbles Trudging the road to happy destiny
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    My FIL is the worst at having phone calls. Seriously a one question ask takes a ten minute phone call he basically starts out breaking things down in his own mind on the phone. He takes 10 second pauses between words. He tells me all the time to call him
    Instead of texting. No thank you sir. He sometimes Will leave me two minute audio messages just talking to himself.
     
  16. London Humphreys

    London Humphreys The next Julian Edelman, obviously.
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    My FIL butt dials me every couple weeks or so. I have no idea how one makes that mistake so often with an iphone.
     
    Champ, Doc Louis, Dump and 3 others like this.
  17. IHHH

    IHHH Well-Known Member
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    he is just checking on you
     
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  18. London Humphreys

    London Humphreys The next Julian Edelman, obviously.
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    But acts oblivious when I call him back.
     
  19. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    I think I work with your father in law
     
    Willpépé, bigred77, Dump and 5 others like this.
  20. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    My FIL is an all around MAGA asshole, but one nice thing is that he showed me Mighty Trains on Smithsonian channel and I like that. Carry on.
     
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  21. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    The in laws left Wednesday. It’s been a nice final few days of vacation. My wife tells me this today while we are floating in the ocean:

    You know how my dad has been saying he doesn’t like being in the sun because of previous melanoma? I don’t remember him going through this so I asked my mom. She said he went to the derm, got checked out/tested, etc, but it all came back clean and has no idea why he still brings it up.

    My FIL had fake skin cancer and no one will correct him when he talks about it.

    159785F2-D58C-4F9F-9810-0B0F0EFA7FC6.gif
     
    MODEVIL, Clown Baby, and 31 others like this.
  22. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Are you married to GoodForAnother s wife's sister?
     
  23. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    Dreading this inevitable conversation after my daughter is born.
     
    ashy larry likes this.
  24. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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    My brother in law (wife’s sister’s husband) had a polyp and tells people he had colon cancer. Really pissed my wife off because my (and his) FIL actually had colon cancer.
     
  25. Thoros of Beer

    Thoros of Beer Academy Award-Winning Actor, Tim Allen
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    My in laws are sweet
     
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  26. Doc Louis

    Doc Louis Well-Known Member
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    This is how you found out he's terrified of sharks
     
  27. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    My MIL claims she has MS despite never being diagnosed with MS or really having it.
     
  28. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    My FIL is a gem, except that he's enabled the MIL for 50 years.
     
  29. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    Do you slip up and call her "Ace"?
     
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  30. GoodForAnother

    GoodForAnother I’d rather be down the allotment
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    my FIL voted for Joe
     
  31. Seavie

    Seavie Loading tweet...
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    Alabama Crimson Tide

    You should correct him and record the conversation for us.
     
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  32. DeToxRox

    DeToxRox Uncle T
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    My FIL had the family over last night for dinner. While he was manning the grill, he told me he is fed up with how small bratwurst have gotten over the years and he’s now considering writing a letter to the company to air his grievances.

    Might be time for him to pick up a new hobby, like trains.
     
  33. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Back to Back to Back AAU National Champs
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    I think he should write that letter
     
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  34. One Two

    One Two Hot Dog Vibes
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    You missed a good opportunity to put your arm around him and say “maybe they’re the same size, and it’s just that our appetites have gotten bigger over the years.”
     
  35. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
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    I would have just kept making "they are the wurst" jokes over and over
     
  36. racer

    racer Yuma, where I work in software.
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    Wait until they find out about *gulp* skinless bratwursts
     
    Dump, One Two and DeToxRox like this.
  37. THEBLUERAIDER

    THEBLUERAIDER Well-Known Member
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    “Yeah, your daughter likes a big sausage too.”
     
  38. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    "Your wife is tired of small bratwurst too."
     
    #1488 Constant, Jul 17, 2021
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2021
  39. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    Wife sausage penis joke
     
  40. BigReff73

    BigReff73 Well-Known Member
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    North Carolina State Wolfpack

    My FIL gave a patio umbrella for our new finished patio. Nice gesture and appreciated. He also wanted to make sure the umbrella is stable, so he put a pvc pipe in a 5 gallon bucket of concrete to serve as a base. This thing is a complete unit and weighs at least 50 lbs. I have a townhouse so my backyard is small so now I have to devote corner of our yard for this thing that can barely be moved. My wife won’t want to get rid of it since he made it for us.
     
    ~ taylor ~, xec, OZ2 and 11 others like this.
  41. Constant

    Constant Meh
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    He wants you to have a nice shady patio? What a dick.
     
    ~ taylor ~, Dump, bigred77 and 4 others like this.
  42. Keef

    Keef Liked by Pierre Gasly
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    Big fan of Mighty Trains
     
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  43. Snakes

    Snakes clumsy interloper
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    Alabama Crimson Tide

    did you tell him they make umbrella bases that serve just fine and your backyard won't look like a construction site.
     
  44. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    My SIL is 40 and dating a 32 year old. They are both very liberal. I overheard this while my wife was FaceTiming her parents…

    FIL: Don’t get me started on <your sister>. Somehow I raised a Marxist leech that is hooked up with a loser just looking for a mommy.

    She’s a high school teacher and he’s a software engineer for Google. Leeches and losers.

    I wish I was making this stuff up.
     
  45. Funshot Residue

    Funshot Residue Mammoth Stabber
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    You know it's gonna be good when you get the ol' "don't get me started"
     
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  46. El Tiburon

    El Tiburon Well-Known Member
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    Is she hot?
     
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  47. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    I mean she’s not really into Xbox credit card fraud
     
  48. CUgator

    CUgator Well-Known Member
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    so, yes?
     
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  49. jbr

    jbr Well-Hung Member
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    I fucked her sister and I have no standards
     
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  50. Cardeja12

    Cardeja12 Well-Known Member
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    I like your FIL