Florida Man Thread - Florida woman says Jags are no longer playing by the Rules

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Duval, May 12, 2015.

  1. Duval

    Duval On a gravy train with biscuit wheels
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    Geoff Gaylord walked into a Jacksonville Sheriff's Office and confessed to his crime: he had repeatedly stabbed his friend "Mr. Happy" with a kitchen knife, cut up Mr. Happy with a hatchet, and buried him in his backyard. Let me remind you again that this occurred in Florida, so perhaps it should come as a surprise to no one.

    Gaylord and Mr. Happy were friends for seven years but, according to Gaylord, he killed him for a few reasons:

    "He left his empty vodka bottles all over the kitchen... never picked up his empty cocaine baggies...He messed up my apartment to the point where I just couldn't get it clean...Before Hap started doing drugs and acting weird he was my BFF...We'd go dancing, play on the children's park equipment, both huge fans of doom metal – listened to it for hours with the lights turned off."

    When Mr. Happy crashed Gaylord's car, and Gaylord got arrested instead, Gaylord had had enough.

    "That drunk driving incident I got unfairly blamed for and just how messy he had become put me over the edge and I murdered him."

    Gaylord was eventually taken into custody when he threatened police for not giving him the death penalty. Police found drug paraphernalia and a machine gun in Gaylord's house, and was booked on multiple charges.
  2. brahmanknight

    brahmanknight MC OG, UCF Knights, bacon, vodka, white wemminz

    Fucking Duval. :facepalm:
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  3. Duval

    Duval On a gravy train with biscuit wheels
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    Nearly nude man tased at Tallahassee airport

    A man clad only in his underwear and toting nunchakus was tased last week after he dashed into the main concourse of Tallahassee Regional Airport claiming he had a plane to catch.

    Police made contact with 26-year-old Chris Haynes after he sped into the airport's main entrance and left his vehicle unattended in the drop off loading zone just before 4 a.m. May 5.

    Haynes made a statement about having a plane to catch as he continued toward the Transportation Security Administration checkpoint, ignoring multiple commands to stop, court records show.

    Haynes was tased in the back and the buttocks before he was arrested. He was uninjured and was not in possession of an airline ticket.

    The police report says Haynes possessed nunchukas, but it is unclear whether he carried them in the airport.

    The officer who tased Haynes wanted to stop him before he could reach the airport terminal. He wrote in the report he was unsure how close other officers were.

    "The TSA checkpoint is not secure and the subject may have been able to access the airside of the airport terminal," the police report says.

    Airport director Chris Curry said airport runway traffic does not begin until around 6 a.m. on average and there was no impact on operations.

    Haynes told police he knew the officer was telling him to stop and that he would be tased. After he was detained, he said, "I kinda always wanted to be tased."

    He also told the officer his name was God and "was deep within sleep, like beyond sleep."

    An airport baggage porter told police he saw Haynes pull into the airport, heard him say he had a plane to catch and also corroborated the officer's commands for him to stop.

    Haynes, who was later identified as a Florida A&M University student, was taken into custody under the Baker Act and taken to Tallahassee Memorial HealthCare for an evaluation.
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  4. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
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  5. eHo

    eHo Fan of teams that never win shit and the Seahawks.
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  6. THF

    Arkansas RazorbacksSan Francisco GiantsOklahoma City ThunderDallas CowboysSan Francisco 49'ersMontreal Impact

    I love seeing Pelican like these posts while knowing Ohio is doing just as much fucked up shit.

    And I post this while in a hotel in downtown Cleveland.
  7. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
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    Editors note: This story has been updated to reflect that Deputies say they observed Cateria Thomas breastfeeding her child in her car just prior to being given sobriety tests, not necessarily when she was first pulled over.

    Volusia County Sheriff's deputies have arrested a 33-year-old mother after they say she was driving drunk with four small children in her car.
    They say she was in her car breastfeeding her 2-month old child right before she failed their field sobriety tests.

    This happened early Tuesday morning in the 1800 block of State Road 44 in New Smyrna Beach.

    Deputies said they were pulling over Cateria Thomas for an altered temporary tag and a child unrestrained.

    According to Thomas' arrest report, deputies said the driver was sitting in the vehicle breastfeeding a small child after they pulled her over.
    Deputies said she had red watery and glassy eyes, her speech was slow and slurred, and in the back seat were three children ages 1, 3 and 4.
    In the front passenger seat, deputies noticed a full gas can.

    Deputies said during a field sobriety test, she was swaying and not steady.

    "Doing that to a child is not right, that's not a mother," said Thomas' neighbor, Sylvia Dabbs.

    Local 6 stopped by Thomas' home, but the family would not comment and claimed it was the wrong house. One neighbor, however, told Local 6 that the children's grandmother told her what happened.

    "She came over here and talked to us and said that [Thomas] had drove drunk last night with the baby and was breastfeeding and all the four kids got taken away this afternoon," said Dabbs.

    The Volusia County Sheriff's Office arrest report said Thomas would not agree to a breath test, but did advise she had four hamburgers with whiskey on them.
    DCF is doing background checks on relatives to find a place for the children, they said.
    Thomas was still in the Volusia County jail Tuesday night for unlawful alteration to her tag, operating with a suspended license, a child act that could result in physical or mental injury and DUI.
  8. Joshuam2107

    Joshuam2107 SUH DUDE

    It's harder to saw Ohio off the map though..
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  9. Duval

    Duval On a gravy train with biscuit wheels
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    Police: Woman intentionally defecated in cruiser after arrest

    Police: 18-year-old intentionally created 'biohazard waste' in cruiser after arrest

    A woman pooped in the back of a police cruiser April 25, according to an arrest report.

    Katelyn Patricia Felegi, 18, had previously been arrested after breaking into and damaging her ex-boyfriend's home, police said.

    About 3:10 p.m., an officer wrote in the report, Felegi was in the back of a marked cruiser when she "intentionally removed her pants and defecated … thus creating biohazard waste."

    Pinellas sheriff's deputies directed inmates at the jail to clean the car. The cruiser was out of commission for eight hours "for proper decontamination procedures," according to the report. All in all, the officer wrote, the act cost authorities about $100, including the charge for cleaning supplies and to have deputies oversee the inmates who cleaned the cruiser.

    Felegi faces several charges including criminal mischief, burglary and simple domestic assault.

    And just lol at this picture

  10. Redav

    Redav My favorite meat is hotdog

    I always laugh at the last name Gaylord. I'm such a child. :facepalm:
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  11. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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  12. RWisoursavior

    RWisoursavior Formerly DannyObrienIsOurSatan

    That's fucked up to make the inmates clean up the shit.

    Also, if you had inmates clean it up there's zero chance it cost $100.
  13. Magneto

    Magneto Thats right, formerly Don Brodka.
    Florida State SeminolesTampa Bay BuccaneersSwanseaWichita State ShockersHartford WhalersSeattle SupersonicsGeorgetown Hoyas

    To be that young and crazy she must be an amazing fuck.
  14. TheChatch

    TheChatch Big Paws On A Puppy.
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  15. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member

    Hell, I laugh every time I pass Gaylord Street.
    Redav likes this.
  16. Duval

    Duval On a gravy train with biscuit wheels
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    Florida woman charged with smearing dog doo on neighbor


    A retiree in Boca Raton was arrested after allegedly smearing a neighbor with dog poop.

    Amy Goldberg, 57, was charged with battery on a person 65 years or older, but according to Goldberg, the old neighbor lady had it (the dog poop) coming.

    Goldberg told police a sordid account of an immoral, unconscionable neighbor who “habitually” allowed her dog to defecate on Goldberg’s lawn at the Woodfield Country Club. According to the arrest report, when Goldberg caught the 67-year-old neighbor out walking the dog and allowing it to once again relieve itself of its dirty business on her lawn, it was just just one poop too many.

    The neighbor told Boca Raton police that Goldberg came out of her house screaming and yelling. Goldberg then scooped up the poop and ran the neighbor down, allegedly smearing it all over the neighbor’s hands and shirt.

    While Goldberg admits to picking up the poop and “targeting” the neighbor with it, she says the neighbor smeared the feces on herself.
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  17. Mitch Cumstein

    Mitch Cumstein yells at cloud
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    Love living here.
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  18. UncleJesse

    UncleJesse Don't mount TV's in glass houses.
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    She was totally in the right there.
  19. CloudBerry

    CloudBerry Well-Known Member
    Clemson Tigers

  20. Nick Rivers

    Nick Rivers Well-Known Member


    Cops: Man who allegedly punched 76-year-old woman in face arrested
    A man was arrested Saturday on charges that he punched a 76-year-old woman in the face and walked away, Daytona Beach police said.

    Douglas B. Wingo, 32, was charged with aggravated assault on a person 65 years or older.

    Wingo allegedly walked up to the woman just before noon Wednesday on South Ridgewood Avenue and said "where's the freaking police" two times before he hit the woman in the face, knocking her to the ground. He then walked away.

    She was admitted to the hospital with a possible broken nose, bruised left eye and brain swelling.

    After video of the incident was released to the news media, several people called to identify Wingo.

    He was arrested about 2:30 p.m. Saturday at 331 S. Palmetto Avenue.

    He was taken to the Volusia County Jail on a $20,000 bond.
  21. TheChatch

    TheChatch Big Paws On A Puppy.
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    ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. (AP) — A couple gave their teenage daughters cocaine and marijuana if they went to school and did household chores, authorities said.

    Chad and Joey Mudd, of Largo, a suburb in the Tampa-St. Petersburg area, gave their daughters, ages 13 and 14, drugs as a "bargaining tool" for school attendance and doing chores, Pinellas County Sheriff's detectives said. They were arrested Monday.

    According to an affidavit, the mother said she smoked pot with her daughters five times and the father snorted cocaine with the teens and one of his daughter's boyfriends in his truck.

    Chad Mudd, the 36-year-old father who works at an area beach bar, was charged with six counts of child abuse and one count of possession of cocaine. Joey Mudd, the girls' 34-year-old mom, was charged with two counts of child abuse. Arrest records say she works at a pediatrician's office.

    Joey Mudd was released Wednesday on bail and Chad Mudd was released Thursday on bail. Calls to telephone numbers belonging to the Mudds weren't answered. It's unclear if they've retained an attorney.

    It's not clear who has taken custody of the children. The sheriff's office hasn't immediately returned a telephone call.
  22. Barves2125

    Barves2125 "Ready to drive the Ferarri" - Reuben Foster
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  23. Joey Freshwater

    Joey Freshwater Slingin The Pipe Since 75
    Alabama Crimson Tide

  24. TheChatch

    TheChatch Big Paws On A Puppy.
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    Florida Man Arrested For Calling 911 After His Cat Was Denied Entry Into Strip Club
    Some people just really love their cats. On Tuesday, Everett Lages took his cat love to a new level when he brought his cat to Emerald City strip club in Murdock, FL. Lages was arrested for repeatedly calling 911 after the owner prohibited him from entering the strip club with his cat, according to a Charlotte County Sheriff’s press release.

    When Emerald City’s owner told the 47-year-old man to leave, he sat down outside and called the cops.

    When the police arrived, Lages appeared intoxicated, prompting authorities to call him a taxi.

    Lages refused to tell the cab driver where he lived. Instead of going home, he kept calling 911 despite the police presence at the scene. Police then arrested Lages.

    Lages was charged with misuse of the 911 system, disorderly intoxication, trespassing after warning, and resisting arrest without violence.
  25. TheChatch

    TheChatch Big Paws On A Puppy.
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    Florida man has sex with pit bull in his yard as neighbors beg him to stop
    Witnesses told police this week that they pleaded with a Florida man to stop having sex with his pit bull, but he refused.

    Tampa police officers said that the witnesses flagged them down on Wednesday after 57-year-old Bernard Marsonek ignored neighbors who yelled at him for having sex with the animal in his yard, according to the Tampa Tribune.

    Officers interviewed Marsonek in his home, and found that he was illegally possessing a handgun.

    Marsonek is facing charges of aggravated animal cruelty, being a felon in possession of a firearm, and sexual activity involving animals.

    Eight pit bulls were placed in the custody of Animal Services.

    Watch the video below from The Orlando Sentinel, broadcast March 5, 2014.
  26. TheChatch

    TheChatch Big Paws On A Puppy.
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    No Bologna: Largo man arrested for 120th time
    LARGO — When police arrested Richard Harvey Warren on Thursday night on an accusation of stealing bologna from a local convenience store, it wasn't the Largo man's first brush with the law.

    Or even his second, third or fourth.

    Nope, according to records, Warren, 50, of 1201 Seminole Blvd., has been arrested an astounding 120 times in Florida since 1987.

    Through the years, he has been charged with everything from shoplifting and disorderly intoxication to indecent exposure. The majority of charges brought against Warren have been misdemeanors, but there have been a handful of felony charges, including ones for grand larceny and battery on an officer.

    Warren's latest arrest netted him charges of retail theft, a felony, and misdemeanor trespassing.

    He remained in the Pinellas County Jail on Friday in lieu of $2,625 bail.

    According to Largo police, Warren entered the Sunshine Food Mart at 1595 Seminole Blvd. on Thursday night and concealed a $2.99 pack of bologna in his pants. When a merchant attempted to stop Warren from leaving, he grabbed the person's shirt and hands and attempted to walk away.

    Before Thursday, Warren had not been arrested in 15 months.
  27. EdmondDantes

    EdmondDantes Both winner in league and apparently at life, haha
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    it seems like the entire state is on bath salts
  28. TheChatch

    TheChatch Big Paws On A Puppy.
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    If you're going to call 911 eighty consecutive times, you'd better have a damn good reason: snakes biting your eyeballs, bikers armed with medieval weapons circling your house, multiple missing limbs.

    A 34-year-old man in Tampa did not have a damn good reason for calling 911 eighty times last Sunday. Jarvis Carlton Sutton wanted Kool-Aid, hamburgers, and weed, and he wanted police to bring them to him.

    Sutton kept 911 operators busy Sunday by blitzing them all day long with phone calls.

    When Pinellas County Sheriff's deputies finally showed up at Sutton's house, he was honest about his demands.

    "The defendant admitted to calling 911 because he 'wanted Kool-Aid, burgers, and weed to be delivered to him,'" a sheriff's deputy wrote in his arrest report, according to the Tampa Bay Times.

    Instead of delicious snacks, the officers gave Sutton a pair of handcuffs and took him to jail on charges of misusing the 911 system.

    En route to jail, he began chewing on the foam behind a seat in the cruiser.
  29. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    I know man I fucking love that shit.
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  30. Duval

    Duval On a gravy train with biscuit wheels
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    Florida Man Compiles Map Detailing the Most Popular Places in Miami to Poop in the Street


    Tasked with marketing Miami to tourists and investors, the tax-funded Downtown Development Authority has plenty of maps highlighting restaurants, tourist attractions and real estate development.

    On Thursday, they unveiled their latest: a detailed map showing where people popped a squat on downtown streets.

    The scatological atlas, smiling poop emojis and all, was created amid a swirling dispute between downtown boosters and the Miami-Dade Homeless Trust over how to get homeless men and women off the street, and how to deal with corresponding sanitation issues. The two public agencies have been feuding for about a year now, dating back to the creation of a temporary shelter program at Camillus House, and more recently with the DDA’s promotion of souped-up porta-potties.

    Long-time Homeless Trust Chairman Ron Book balks at both as ill-conceived initiatives already studied and rejected by the Trust, which focuses primarily on providing housing for the homeless. In response, he has been criticized as a “dictator” blind to downtown issues, who is flushing millions down the drain.

    As part of an effort to shame Book and urge the Trust to reconsider, the DDA spent eight hours Friday documenting urine and feces, and then released its map, where the agency says feces was spotted during a sanitation worker’s eight-hour Friday shift.

    Now, there’s little hope of wiping the slate clean.

    “As the chief advocate for downtown Miami's growing base of residents, businesses and visitors from around the world, the Miami DDA has been making the case that homelessness is having a disproportionate impact on our urban core for years, and yet The Homeless Trust has resorted to passing the buck and ignoring the problem,” executive director Alyce Robertson said Thursday in a statement.

    The creation of the map was also timed with a Miami Commission vote Thursday to urge county commissioners — who approve the Trust’s budget — to push the Trust to fund the Camillus House shelter program, which refers homeless to mats beneath an outside pavilion but also includes medical and counseling services. Later Thursday, Miami-Dade commissioners on an economic prosperity committee directed Book to study new programs and get back to them.

    Afterward, a furious Book said he may step down.

    “I'm sick of the personal attacks. Let someone else chair the thing,” Book, a top lobbyist in Miami-Dade and statewide, said.

    But Book quickly backtracked, saying later that he was caught at a bad moment. He doubled-down on his criticism of the DDA and Camillus House, and said he’d quit before wasting money on programs without results. He said criticisms of the trust’s spending are political, noting that on Friday the Trust’s board agreed to spend $8 million to create 1,000 new shelter beds.

    “There are people who have political motives and their own selfish business motives for wanting to promote certain things we’ve otherwise found not to work,” he said. “They choose to ignore the facts.”

    Still, while the Trust has reduced homeless over time to about 4,000 in Miami, there remain about 1,000 on the streets, with some 600 living in Miami boundaries. And while Book has dug in his heels, so too have Miami officials. James Bernat, the city’s police coordinator, staunchly defends the program, and Commissioner and DDA Chairman Marc Sarnoff is one of Camillus House’s biggest boosters and fundraisers.

    “Where do 600 people go to the bathroom everyday? Well there’s a map to show you where 600 people go to the bathroom everyday,” said Sarnoff, who displayed the DDA’s map on television. “This is a countywide issue, as you’ll see.”

    Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/community/miami-dade/article21040056.html#storylink=cpy
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  31. Duval

    Duval On a gravy train with biscuit wheels
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    Police: Sarasota burglar breaks into house, falls asleep on couch

    SARASOTA -- A Sarasota man was charged with breaking into a home and falling asleep on the couch, according to the Sarasota Police Department.

    Timothy Bontrager, 29, was arrested at 8:03 a.m. Saturday and charged with felony burglary of an occupied dwelling. According to a release, police responded to the 3400 block of Tallywood Lane in Sarasota Saturday morning. The victim told officers she woke up around shortly after 7 a.m. and found Bontrager sleeping on her living room couch.

    Police said when the victim asked him who he was and what he was doing in her house, Bontrager apologized. The victim told Bontrager she was calling the police and he then walked around the living room and left.

    The victim gave officers a description of Bontrager and said he entered through an unlocked sliding glass door in the rear of the house. According to a release, the victim then noticed her wallet, driver's license, credit and debit cards as well as personal checks were missing from the table in the living room.

    A short time later, officers spotted Bontrager walking southbound on Beneva Road and arrested him. Bontrager was being held in Sarasota County jail on $25,000 bond, according to the Sarasota County Sheriff's Office website.

    Read more here: http://www.bradenton.com/2015/05/18/5805076/police-sarasota-burglar-breaks.html#storylink=cpy
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  32. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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  33. Duval

    Duval On a gravy train with biscuit wheels
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    Police: Fort Pierce man has sex with 14-year old girl, claims she told him she was 19

    Police arrested 21-year old Jean Joseph on Wednesday, after detectives say he called 911 on himself.

    "It appeared like he was trying to be the good guy, saying 'I think she's a minor. I'm not doing anything wrong because I just found out and this should be ok,'" says detective Ludmila Quintao of the Fort Pierce Police Department.

    She adds, "The victim said she told him way before he picked her up and he should have known that she was a minor."

    According to detectives, Joseph picked up the teenage girl from her home in Orlando on May 21.

    He told police he rented a car and drove to central Florida to get her.

    The two met on Facebook, he told detectives, adding that she told Joseph she was 19-years old.

    But the victim told detectives she told Joseph she was underage before he left for Orlando.

    The teen told police she met Joseph through the social media site two months ago, and told him she was 16-years old before they met in person.

    Joseph says he took the victim and her friends to the beach on Memorial Day.

    While at the beach, he told police the girls seemed much younger than the age of the victim based on their maturity level.

    "He had many clues that she was a minor, but he still decided to have sexual relations with her," the detective says.

    Joseph told detectives the two had sex twice.

    Police charged him with lewd and lascivious behavior.

    Through their investigation, police discovered the victim was only 14-years old.

    Authorities say the Department of Children and Families is also investigating the incident because it appears the child was trying to run away from home.

    Detectives say it's possible Joseph could face more charges.

  34. Duval

    Duval On a gravy train with biscuit wheels
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    Florida man who blew arms off making fireworks with coffee grinder won’t be charged

    A Florida man who blew off both his arms when the crude fireworks he was assembling in his kitchen exploded will not face criminal charges.

    Justin McHenry was using a coffee grinder to mix explosive materials at his Cape Coral condo on May 1 when it suddenly detonated, Wink News reported.

    The 31-year-old's limbs were blown off from below the elbows after shrapnel shot out across the room.

    His bones were left exposed and he also suffered severe injuries to his abdomen and upper legs.

    Cops arrived on the scene and found a dazed McHenry sitting outside. Smoke was coming out from his explosion-ravaged apartment.

    He was rushed to Lee Memorial Hospital for emergency treatment. His current condition is not known.

    Three weeks later, investigators from Cape Coral Police Department submitted an application for his arrest to the State Attorney's Office.

    They claimed they'd found goods "consistent with items that were used to build IED's."

    His computer history also allegedly showed that he'd been searching how to build powerful flash powder and fireworks.

    Police wanted to charge McHenry with making, possessing, or discharging a destructive device or attempting to do so.

    However, the application was denied last week, it's now emerged.

    "It didn't rise to criminal intent," state attorney's office spokeswoman Samantha Syoen told the News-Press.

    "He had a coffee grinder and when he pushed the coffee grinder down, it blew his arms off," she added.

    Cape Coral Police Department said the case had now been closed.

    "We understand and respect the state's decision not to pursue charges in this case," said Det. Sergeant Dana Coston.


  35. Duval

    Duval On a gravy train with biscuit wheels
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    Boca Raton Police: Unidentified naked man in custody after being found running the streets

    BOCA RATON, Fla. -- A man has been hospitalized in Boca Raton Saturday morning after police found him running the streets naked.

    Boca Raton police say they received a call around 11 a.m. about a naked man running around.

    Citizens reported to police that the man was spotted at NW 40th Street and NW 8th Avenue in Boca Raton, near the back of the airport.

    When police arrived on the scene, they saw him running up and down NW 40th/Spanish River Boulevard.

    Police say it was "visibly clear he was on something," but did not specify what that "something" could be.

    Officers tried to chase him but were unsuccessful.

    Police say the man was eventually subdued with the use of a Taser.

    The unidentified man was taken to Delray Medical Center as a Trauma Alert, where he remains in serious condition.

    Detectives are aware that there are several videos and photos of the man running around and are asking for people to send them to the Boca Raton Police Department.

    Police say they are having a difficult time identifying him since he was naked and has no I.D.

    They believe he is a white male in his 20's.

    [​IMG] [​IMG]
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  36. Whammy Business

    Whammy Business Well-Known Member

    Gonna be hard to eat those Cheez-Its with no arms.
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  37. Nick Rivers

    Nick Rivers Well-Known Member

    Florida (wo)Man...

    Deputies: 2 women try to steal from Publix, leave children behind
    By David HarrisOrlando Sentinelcontact the reporter
    Deputies are searching for two women who they say allegedly stole nearly $500 worth of items from a Publix near Kissimmee and left two children behind during their getaway.

    The incident unfolded when Jessica Barker, 31, and Kristen Grodetz, 25, both from Lee County, were shopping Sunday at the Blake Boulevard store with three children – a 3-year-old and two 11-year-old girls, according to the Osceola County Sheriff's Office.

    Jessica Barker

    The two women put $476 worth of food and other products in a shopping cart and began to walk out of the store without paying, deputies said.

    When a store employee confronted them, they quickly fled the store with the 3-year-old, but not the two older girls.

    "The kids were right there with them," said sheriff's spokeswoman Twis Lizasuain. "They just walked out and said they would be back, but never returned."

    The girls had contact numbers for the two women. One of the women answered when deputies called and said she would come to get the kids, but after waiting for a few hours she never came back, deputies said.

    Deputies then called the Department of Children and Family Services, which took custody of the children.

    Barker and Grodetz have not been arrested. The Lee County Sheriff's Office were not able to locate the women.

    They are charged with grand theft, child neglect and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

    Barker is on probation for grand theft in Sarasota County, according to the Florida Department of Corrections.

    Anyone with information is asked to call the Osceola County Sheriff's Office at 407-348-2222 or Crimeline at 1-800-423-8477.

    Kristen Grodetz
  38. Duval

    Duval On a gravy train with biscuit wheels
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    Even publix isn't safe from Florida man.

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  39. Duval

    Duval On a gravy train with biscuit wheels
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    Fla. man allegedly rides sea turtle, spears shark

    One Miami man tried to do his best “ruler of the sea” impression, but it landed him in jail after he allegedly rode a sea turtle and speared a shark.

    According to KeyNews, Carlos Argen Hernandez was arrested after police said he was harassing a sea turtle and had speared an undersized nurse shark and put it in a cooler. A witness saw Hernandez and his girlfriend with the sea turtle.

    Bruce Bennett
    Laddie, a large sub-adult loggerhead that stranded near the Currie Park Fishing Pier, was one of three loggerhead sea turtles and two green sea turtles released by Loggerhead Marinelife Center in Juno Beach Thursday, July 9, 2015. Laddie had fishing line entangled around three of her flippers, resulting in constriction injuries. (Bruce R. Bennett / The Palm Beach Post)
    “He was with his girlfriend and had jumped in the water and brought up a sea turtle,” Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission spokesman Bobby Dipre said. “He took it to shore. He had it on the rocks and was taking pictures with it. I don’t know if his intent was to keep it or just take pictures of it.”

    Dipre added that Hernandez had multiple snappers already filleted allegedly while he was fishing, which is illegal. He clarified that “anglers are allowed to keep one nurse shark a day, but they cannot be speared and must be at least 54 inches in length.”

    The sea turtle at the scene was fine and was released back into the ocean.

  40. dblplay1212

    dblplay1212 Well-Known Member
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  41. Gtr

    Gtr Guest

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  42. Gtr

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  43. Jigga

    Jigga Ty Webb is a mean person
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  44. Pelican

    Pelican COOL huh
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    Florida man gets year in jail for running over 9 ducklings with a lawnmower

    Jason Falbo

    By Chelsea Todaro

    WELLINGTON, Fla. —

    A man who intentionally slaughtered nine baby ducks by driving a lawnmower over them has pleaded guilty to felony animal-cruelty charges and will spend the next year in the Palm Beach County Jail.

    Circuit Court Judge Glenn Kelley on Thursday sentenced Jason Scott Falbo II, 24, of The Acreage to a combined three years of probation on these nine charges as well as a domestic battery charge from an incident a month before Shitty AMC Show of the ducks. The first of those years will be spent in the jail.

    “They should have just thrown away the keys,” Boyd Jentzsch, the resident who called Palm Beach County Animal Care & Control about the slaying of the ducks, said Saturday when told of Falbo’s sentence. “There is no justification for what he’s done,” Jentzsch said.

    Jentzsch called Animal Care & Control officers to his home on Shaughnessey Drive in the Olympia community at Forest Hill Boulevard and State Road 7 at about 2 p.m. May 2, according to a probable-cause affidavit released by the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office.

    He told Officer Tania Quinones he was feeding a female Muscovy duck and her eleven ducklings outside his home. He went inside after he left food out for them near a tree with his wife, Larissa Gontchar, and their son.

    “We have five to six families of ducks come here at least two or three times a day,” Jentzsch said.

    Gontchar joined Jentzsch at his door when they observed Falbo riding on a lawn mower. Falbo started to head toward the mother and her baby ducks when he then “ran directly over the ducklings and body parts were scattered all over the lawn,” the police report said.

    Gontchar and Jentzsch ran out to Falbo yelling at him to stop, but Falbo smiled, backed up his mower, and continued to kill more ducklings. Jentzsch got in front of the mower and asked Falbo what he was doing

    “They were in my path, so I just kept mowing,” the police report quoted Falbo as saying.

    “I thought he was going to run over my toes,” Jentzsch said. “He wasn’t even cutting the grass. … He went right toward (the ducklings) and veered to the left.”

    The mother duck and her four remaining ducklings avoided the mower and headed to a nearby lake, but two ducklings later drowned from injuries.

    Falbo’s employer, Wayne Soini, from Reliable Lawn Care, told Quinones it was Falbo’s first day on the job. He also said Falbo was not mowing the lawn in the right path.

    But Jentzsch said it was Falbo’s first day driving the mower truck, not his first day on the job, and he had seen Falbo in their neighborhood once or twice before.

    “Just seeing the look on his face, it told me he was a very violent person inside,” Jentzsch said.

    Besides the probation and jail time, Falbo must also serve 10 hours of community service each month and have a mental health exam within 30 days after he is released from jail.

    Falbo also pleaded guilty at the same time to charges of domestic battery by strangulation, after he got in a fight with his girlfriend about a month before the duck incident.

    According to the police report, Falbo was upset with his girlfriend when she refused to tell him who she was texting on her phone. He pushed her to the ground, took her by the neck and began choking her, the report stated.

    #45 Pelican, Jul 27, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2015
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  45. Nick Rivers

    Nick Rivers Well-Known Member

    Fla. suspect chews off fingertips, eats them to avoid being fingerprinted



    Saturday, August 1, 2015, 11:57 AM

    Kenzo Roberts, 20, chewed off his fingertips after he was arrested in Lee County, Fla., in a gross attempt to avoid being identified.

    A Florida man arrested for driving a stolen car tried to avoid being identified by chewing the skin off his fingertips and eating the flesh.

    Kenzo Roberts, 20, is seen on surveillance video gnawing his fingers, chewing and then swallowing as he sits in the back of a patrol car.

    He had been stopped by Lee County Sheriff's deputies for driving a stolen Mercedes. He also had a fake ID, three fake credits cards and a concealed firearm, WPTV reported Saturday.

    Fingertip scanners quickly identified the suspect, despite his self-mutilation. Roberts was also wanted on a warrant from Broward County for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

    Suspect chews off fingertips, eats them to avoid being fingerprinted
    NY Daily News


    He was charged with three counts of possessing a fake credit card, grand theft auto, possession of a concealed weapon, driving with a suspended license and giving false ID to a law enforcement officer.

    The U.S. Border Patrol said Roberts was in the country illegally.
    Eric The Viking likes this.
  46. Kirk Fogg

    Kirk Fogg "Tell them what they've won Olmec!"
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    Smooth move, Kenzo
  47. TheChatch

    TheChatch Big Paws On A Puppy.
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    Boyd Gene Wiley, a 47-year-old Florida man who apparently really loves him some weed, marched into a local sheriff's office Monday and accused detectives of stealing his massive crop of marijuana plants, police said. Wiley wanted to complain to a supervisor that he was growing medical marijuana, but since that's still totally illegal in Florida, the man was arrested on the spot.

    A housing code enforcement officer spotted a few plants during a routine inspection of Wiley's property last Friday, according to the sheriff's office. When a group of detectives drove over to see what was up, they found 91 marijuana plants, and spent the next few hours "eradicating" them.

    The detectives had been trying to track down who owned the property for a few days when Wiley walked into the sheriff's office to complain about his stolen weed, and pegged the blame on the cops. He was arrested on production of marijuana charges, which is a felony, and was released on a $1004 bond later that night.

    Somehow, the fiasco didn't end there. On Thursday, Wiley was arrested for the second time after he allegedly slammed a neighbor who owed him money over the head with a shovel. He called the cops again, this time to let them know he had been hit in the face during the brawl. Wiley was arrested for aggravated battery, and again released on bail.


    Wonder what the extra 4 bucks was for...
  48. TheChatch

    TheChatch Big Paws On A Puppy.
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    A teenager has been hacked by a machete and buried alive by four US students
    Cruel end ... Jose Amaya Guardado, 17, was horrifically murdered with a machete by a group of fellow students. Picture: Supplied Source: Supplied

    JOSE Amaya Guardado didn’t stand a chance.

    First, they hacked him with a machete. Then, they buried him alive out in the forest.

    And to celebrate the crime, two of his attackers then had sex beside the shallow grave, where he was still breathing.

    This horrific crime, committed by four students against their fellow classmate, has shocked the US state of Florida.

    According to the Miami Herald, all were students at Homestead Job Corps, a live-in school and vocational training program run by the US Department of Labor.

    As detectives dug deeper, what they uncovered was so horrific, so unthinkable, that they were left reeling.

    The “ring leader” ... Kaheem Arbelo, 20, reportedly had sex near Jose’s grave with fellow attacker, Desiray Strickland. Picture: Miami-Dade Police DepartmentSource: Supplied

    On Sunday, June 28, 17-year-old Jose went missing. After a frantic search, his brother finally found Jose’s body, buried in a shallow grave in the woods not far from the school.

    Police have since caught three of the culprits: 20-year-old Kaheem Arbelo, 18-year-old Jonathan Lucas and 19-year-old Christian Colon, who confessed to the crime last week.

    Desiray Strickland, 18, became the fourth charged with the savage murder of Jose when she was arrested yesterday.

    Joining ... The latest to be arrested, Desiray Strickland, was caught yesterday. Picture: Miami-Dade Police Department Source: Supplied

    The group considered murdering the teenager a fortnight before actually carrying out the act, and managed to dig a grave and hide the machete in the bush a few days before, police said.

    According to the arrest report, the foursome lured Jose into the woods before “ambushing” him with the machete, causing “massive injuries”.

    As he was dying, he was told to lie in the grave.

    “The victim made one last attempt to fight off the attackers,” the detective wrote on the police form, “at which time, [Arbelo] struck the victim with the machete several more times until the victim’s face caved in.”

    Arrested ... Christian Colon, 19. Picture: Miami-Dade Police Department Source:Supplied

    The report then stated that Strickland “complained that she had missed the first series of machete strikes because she had walked away for a few minutes to urinate in the woods.”

    She and the accused ringleader, Arbelo, then stayed in the woods to have sex near the murder scene.

    Detectives have described the group as a pack of bullies who may have murdered Jose because of an unpaid debt.

    Gruesome Murder

    According to the US news channel NBC6, one of the students was actually Jose’s roommate.

    “We’re learnt from the victim’s family that one of those suspects, the one who allegedly carried out a machete attack, was actually the victim’s roommate,” theNBC6 reporter said.

    A fifth suspect is also expected to be arrested.

    Mugshot ... Jonathan Lucas, 18. Picture: Miami-Dade Police DepartmentSource: Supplied

    The four students are being held in Miami-Dade jails, awaiting charges of second-degree murder.

    Because all are legally adults, they could be charged with first-degree murder, which carries the possibility of the death penalty.

    THEHEBREW1 can you account for the wickedness of these Hebrews?
  49. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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