Florida man has a heart attack while mowing lawn. These firefighters stayed behind to finish the job. FortBriggs · 12 hours ago
Police: Gainesville man defecates on church Gainesville Police arrested a local man Saturday morning after he reportedly caused $70 in damages to St. Augustine church by defecating on the front door and steps of the church. Louis Byron Larson, 68, defecated on the steps of the church, located at 1738 W. University Ave., at about 5 a.m. Saturday, according to a GPD arrest report. Byron Duncan, 27, an employee at a neighboring parking garage, saw Larson on the steps and asked him if he wanted to use the garage bathroom. "I told him ‘you don’t have to do that there,’" Duncan said. "We have toilet paper to wipe your butt." Larson, Duncan said, replied with racial slurs and continued to defecate on the steps. Duncan and another employee then called the police, who arrived at the church to find Larson lying in his own waste on the steps. Larson, who also goes by "Macaroni Larson," was previously found guilty on 30 separate counts of trespassing and one count of indecent exposure, according to Alachua County court records. He also trespassed on the UF campus in 2013, according to University Police records. Police arrested Larson on a charge of criminal mischief. Authorities took him to the Alachua County Jail, where he remained as of press time in lieu of a $2,000 bond.
That mugshot though Infant rescued from car after mom is found passed out at light http://www.weartv.com/news/features...-passed-out-at-light-60018.shtml#.VduTClNVikp
Florida man reaches inside woman and disembowels her for uttering ex’s name during sex Spoiler orida man was charged with murder over the weekend after he admitted that he disemboweled his girlfriend because she blurted out her ex-husband’s name while they were having sex. Sunrise police responded to a 911 from Fidel Lopez at around 3:39 a.m. on Sunday and found his girlfriend Maria Nemeth’s naked body on the floor, the Sun Sentinelreported. An arrest report said that blood and tissue were found scattered throughout the couple’s apartment, and blood was smeared on the walls. The bathroom door had been ripped off the hinges. Police also found a bottle of tequila and cut limes in the kitchen. Neighbors told officers that loud noise could be heard coming from the home for several hours. During initial questioning, Lopez claimed that the two were having rough sex when Nemeth went into the bathroom, vomited and then died. Lopez later admitted that he had become a “monster” when Nemeth twice uttered her ex-husband’s name during sex. He said that he had inserted a beer bottle and a curling iron in Nemeth’s vagina and anus. Lopez suggested that she had been too intoxicated to resist, according to WFOR. He said that he then inserted both fists, before putting his arm in her up the elbow and ripping out intestinal matter. Lopez told authorities that he had a cigarette after disemboweling Nemeth, and after he finished it she had stopped breathing. Sunrise police arrested Lopez on charges of first-degree murder.
Women just walking down the street with a huge gash in her neck. At 44 seconds she just says "I'm not going back to that place".
Police: Fla. man impersonates doctor, touches job applicant's breasts A woman who thought she was being hired as a nursing assistant instead met a man whom police say pretended to be a doctor and inappropriately touched her, Local 10 News reports. Police say Howard Harlib, 62, of Miami Beach faked being a doctor, claiming to want to hire the victim, Antonia Pascal, to take care of one of his patients. Police arrested Harlib on Thursday on charges of battery and practicing medicine without a license, according to Local 10 News. Pascal told police Harlib asked her inappropriate questions “such as whether she would be uncomfortable if a patient masturbated in front of her or touched her breasts,” Local 10 News reports. Pascal arrived at Harlib’s home, and a brief conversation, Harlib began "touching her breasts and pushing a thermometer between her buttocks over her clothing, claiming to be demonstrating the proper way to take a temperature rectally,” Local 10 News reported. Pascal told Harlib she was uncomfortable and left the home. Harlib later told detectives that he only touched her arm when meeting her. Police report that Harlib is currently on probation for the same charges from an earlier incident.
How no one else finds this as weird as I do I'll never know. I couldn't find a story on her. SUPPOSEDLY she may have escaped from a mental institution but I haven't seen that reported anywhere other than Facebook though I haven't looked into it much since I posted it.
The perfect candidate to represent the sunshine state. Features Gone Viral Florida Senate candidate admits to sacrificing goat, drinking its blood TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) — Two years ago, Augustus Sol Invictus walked from central Florida to the Mojave Desert and spent a week fasting and praying, at times thinking he wouldn't survive. In a pagan ritual to give thanks when he returned home, he killed a goat and drank its blood. Now that he's a candidate for U.S. Senate, the story is coming back to bite him. The chairman of the Libertarian Party of Florida has resigned to call attention to Invictus' candidacy in hopes that other party leaders will denounce him. Adrian Wyllie, who was the Libertarian candidate for governor last year, says Invictus wants to lead a civil war, is trying to recruit neo-Nazis to the party and brutally and sadistically dismembered a goat. It's an awkward situation for the small party that's trying to gain clout. "He is the absolute exact opposite of a Libertarian. He's a self-proclaimed fascist. He's promoting a second civil war," Wyllie said. "It's absolute insanity. We must explain to people this is the opposite of Libertarians. This guy has no place in the Libertarian Party." Invictus, a 32-year-old lawyer who changed his given name — which he declines to reveal — to a Latin phrase that means "majestic unconquered sun," says Wyllie is just running a smear campaign and is twisting his words into lies. No, he says, he's not a white supremacist, pointing out his four children are Hispanic — though he acknowledges that some white supremacists support his campaign. No, he says he isn't trying to start a civil war, but he says the government already is at war with its citizens and that it's certain to escalate. "The only question is when are the citizens going to start fighting back?" he said in a phone interview Friday. "I don't think I'm the only person who sees a cataclysm coming, but I think I'm the only person saying it, and I think that scares people." Augustus Sol Invictus, attorney, left, confers with his client David Damus Monday, April 27, 2015. Damus murder trial was postponed Monday. Damus is charged in a deadly 2013 shooting spree that killed two young men and riddled more than 20 homes in Osceola County. The random shootings terrorized county residents for two weeks until the arrests of Damus and three friends. (Red Huber / Orlando Sentinel) Sacrifice? Yes. Brutal and sadistic? Not according to Invictus. "I did sacrifice a goat. I know that's probably a quibble in the mind of most Americans," he said. "I sacrificed an animal to the god of the wilderness ... Yes, I drank the goat's blood." He admits he's been investigated by the FBI, the U.S. Marshals and other law enforcement. He is confident they're still watching him, in part for a series of YouTube videos and other writings in which he discusses government. He renounced his citizenship in one paper, and in another he prophesied a great war, saying he would wander into the wilderness and return bearing revolution. "I guess it makes me feel flattered that they think I am a threat to the stability of the system. It makes me think one man can make a difference," Invictus said. He insists, though, that he doesn't advocate violence. "You do not initiate force," he said. "If the government is waging war on citizens, we as citizens have the right to self-defense on government." Invictus knows running as a Libertarian is a longshot — Wyllie was easily Florida's most well-received Libertarian candidate and he only received 3.8 percent of the vote — and he acknowledges that being a pagan will hurt him with an electorate that tends to support Christians. But he said he is running with the hope of speaking on the Senate floor. "If not elected, I still think there is a purpose for all of this and that is to get a message out there, waking them up," he said. "They are the ones that control the government and not the other way around." Copyright 2015 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Disclosure - this will not top double fisting and disemboweling another person. LakelandPD Local police department · 21 hrs · Drunk Driving Girl on Periscope Gets Arrested On October 10th, the Lakeland Police Department began receiving 911 calls from viewers of Periscope about a possible drunk driver using the social media APP Periscope to broadcast herself. Periscope is a live video streaming platform, (owned by Twitter). It allows you to video-record and broadcast to anywhere in the entire world. As a result of the video being streamed worldwide, numerous text messages were sent to the driver asking her to stop driving before she killed someone or herself. One 911 caller stated the female was driving in the north Lakeland area but he could not provide specific location as he was watching the streaming video live. The female driver advised several times on Periscope that she was “drunk”, and that she had a flat tire. The subject advised several times that she was unaware of where she was. As the caller was giving police dispatch the details from the video, the video was turned off several times and the caller was unable to provide a vehicle description other than it was a Toyota. This made locating the intoxicated driver more difficult for officers searching the surrounding area and with nothing more to go on other than the make of the car. The Lakeland Police Department does not provide officers with access to Periscope as an authorized software tool and therefore they did not have the ability to monitor the driver’s actions. One officer took the initiative to utilize their personal account in an effort to locate the driver. Based on what the officer could observe, and landmarks in the area from the streaming video, LPD officers located the driver eastbound on Carpenters Way. At this time, she was driving a 2015 Toyota Corolla, 4-dr with a flat left front tire. Her vehicle abruptly hit the south curb with the right front tire/wheel just as officer’s initiated a traffic stop. Officers advised that the driver did not even brake after striking the curb. The subject vehicle stopped in the 1000 block of Carpenters Way at which time the female was identified as Whitney Marie Beall, 23 yrs old. Officers advised that they smelled the odor of an alcoholic beverage emanating from Beall, her speech was slow; her eyes were bloodshot and glossy. Bell also appeared to be disoriented. Beall failed the Standardized Field Sobriety Tests and she refused the breathalyzer test. Beall was arrested by Officer Mike Kellner and charged with DUI. She was later transported to the Polk County Jail. The streaming Periscope video highlights the dangers of driving while intoxicated through the eyes of a drunk and irresponsible young adult. The Lakeland Police Department is extremely thankful that this did not result in an accident and no one was injured as a result of her poor decision.
Woman puts ketchup on naked body at Miami Beach Johnny Rockets, police say Angelic Valle, 23, arrested on lewd and lascivious charges MIAMI BEACH, Fla. A 23-year-old woman is facing lewd and lascivious conduct charges after pouring ketchup on her naked body at a Miami Beach Johnny Rockets restaurant. The incident was reported Oct. 9 at the restaurant at 728 Ocean Drive. Video of the incident was posted on social media, and a be-on-the-lookout was issued for the woman's arrest. Miami Beach police arrested Angelic Isabella Valle on Thursday on charges of lewd and lascivious behavior, incite to riot, indecent exposure and disorderly conduct. According to an incident report, Valle walked to the second floor of the building and began spitting down. Police said she came down the stairs topless and began turning over tables and chairs. A witness said Valle's eyes were open wide, and she was laughing and breathing heavy. According to police, Valle placed a steel chair leg into her buttocks while a group of men surrounded her inside the restaurant. They said other customers ran off. Police said the crowd inside became so large that it was difficult for anyone to come inside. Valle is also accused of charging at several men in the crowd and taking off the lower part of her bikini. Police said she laid naked on a table and poured ketchup on herself while dancing. A witness told Valle that the cops were coming and she grabbed a towel and left, telling the crowd, "Look me up on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook," police said. She later came back with clothes on for her shoes and bag but left again before officers arrived. According to the report, Valle caused $420 in damage at the restaurant by breaking two tables and two glasses. Valle posted the following message on her Facebook page Thursday afternoon: "Ya'll saw a Jamaican woman. Listen to Vybz Kartel and he'll explain why I did what I did." Kartel is a Jamaican reggae artist who is serving a life sentence for murder. Police are still searching for a man involved in the incident, who is believed to be in his 20s. He is also wanted on lewd and lascivious charges, but it's unclear what role he had in the incident. My God, the pictures are definitely available. https://twitter.com/dominiloka/status/655741239782985728
A Florida man accidentally shot and killed an 18-year-old woman while engaging in a “freaky sex” session. On November 7 at the Microtel Inn & Suites in Tampa, Florida, 21-year-old Tyrone Fields and 18-year-old Christina Meagher were having sex. During the sexual foreplay, Christina allegedly asked Fields to put his 9mm semi-automatic pistol to her head. Sadly, Fields took out the pistol’s magazine but forgot to remove a bullet in its chamber, “The defendant stated that he intentionally pulled the trigger as part of the role-play, and the handgun fired a single round into the victim’s head,” according to the report. Fields told investigators that he was lying on top of Meagher, but wasn’t having intercourse with her at the time. Meagher was rushed to a nearby medical center, where she was pronounced dead from a single gunshot wound. Security cameras at the hotel and an autopsy confirmed the pair entered the motel room consensually. She didn’t have any injuries consistent with sexual battery. Fields is now incarcerated in Hillsborough County jail on felony manslaughter with a weapon charges. According to the report, Fields and Meagher had only known each other for two days.
here's his facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tad.whitworth so odd, its littered with pics of him and his grandma, but fuck, look at his arrest record: http://bailbondcity.com/polk-inmate-WHITWORTH/2014-015510
Headlines don't get a whole lot better Florida woman tased after falling asleep in Fort Myers Beach resort's grease dumpster Fort Myers Beach tends to attract some unusual characters, especially after the sun sets, but an incident early Saturday morning took unusual to a whole new level. Anna Marzita Shinkle is charged with drunken disorderly conduct and resisting an officer after falling asleep in the Lani Kai's grease dumpster just before 2:00 a.m. Saturday, according to an Lee County Sheriff's Office report. "The female was unresponsive and covered in grease with a shirt on and her pants down at her ankles," the report states. The deputy woke her up, told her he was a deputy sheriff and that the fire department was also there to help her. She responded "by stating 'go **** yourself'...then continuously stuck her middle finger up at him." and he said it didn't end there adding "she was going to cut us and **** us up." "The fire department attempted to assist the woman, but she held onto the grease dumpster making it extremely difficult to remove her." According to the report, deputies and firefighters, "warned the female that if she did not comply she would be tased...as soon as the female threatened us again and took an aggressive fighting stance, I tased the female." She then complied with officers, was transported to Health Park hospital "to have the taser probes removed" and went to jail. The Lani Kai refused to comment on the incident. Anna Shinkle is out on bond and scheduled to appear in court next month.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/accused-drunk-boater-poops-water-arrest-article-1.2471318 Accused drunk Florida boater poops in water, throws pot overboard during arrest Well, that's one way to avoid arrest. A Florida plumber caught drunkenly boating through a manatee zone pooped in the water and threw his marijuana overboard when a deputy tried to arrest him, deputies said. James Christian Bates threatened to beat up his arresting officer when he was taken into custody off the coast of Port Charlotte Sunday, according to the Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office. A Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer spotted the 60-year-old speeding through a manatee zone without his boat’s lights on,the Sarasota Herald-Tribune reported. When the officer pulled the boat over, Bates appeared to be intoxicated. As the officer began to climb aboard Bates’ vessel to arrest him, Bates defecated over the side of the ship, deputies said. The accused drunken boater also hurled three marijuana blunts into the water. The officer struggled to arrest Bates, who became increasingly combative, and eventually pepper-sprayed the perp, according to an arrest report. “Also, Mr. Bates made a comment that he should have, ‘beat my ass and left me there and no one would have known,’” the officer wrote in the report. Bates failed a sobriety test when the officer finally got him back to shore, deputies said. Bates was charged with a felony count of tampering with evidence and a slew of misdemeanors: dumping raw human waste, boating under the influence, marijuana possession, drug paraphernalia possession, resisting arrest and interfering with a wildlife officer. It bothers me that his eyes are so close together. Looks like Brett Favre's retarded uncle.
Florida Man Breaks Into Ex’s Home, Poops on Everything What’s the first order of business after getting released from prison after getting arrested on charges of domestic battery, criminal mischief, and resisting arrest? For Michael Anthony Johnson, a true Florida Man, it’s breaking into your ex-girlfriend’s home and plastering the place with your feces, for at least one child’s eyes to see. Via WESH: A family of four had a rude awakening Friday morning when the homeowner’s ex broke in and defecated on several of the family’s belongings, according to the Orange County Sheriff’s Office… Johnson is accused of defecating on the victim’s bed sheets, a glass kitchen plate, a wallet and a dresser…. “The defendant had only been out of jail two days before violating the no contact order,” investigators said in the arrest report. Seems like a logical way to get back to prison as quickly as possible. Johnson was charged with burglary of an occupied dwelling, criminal mischief, sanitary nuisance, providing false information to law enforcement, petit theft and aggravated stalking.
Accused Sex Toy Thief Told Cops He Was "Too Embarrassed" To Actually Pay For The Items Florida man caught shoplifting two sex toys from a Spencer’s store told police that he had enough money for the items, but was “too embarrassed” to pay for them at the cashier. According to police, Christopher Masters, 32, was in the Vero Beach store Thursday evening when a manager spotted him removing an “Arouz’d screw butt plug” from its packaging. Masters, cops reported, placed the item in his khaki shorts. Masters then allegedly did the same with an“Arouz’d stroker can.” After walking around Spencer's for a few minutes, Masters (seen at right) exited the business with the purloined anal plug and the “ridged tunnel stroker,” which cops valued at a combined $29.98. Masters, who was collared by store security, “admitted to stealing the screw butt plug and stroker can,” noted police. “Masters further stated that he had enough money on him but he was too embarrassed to pay for them because they were sex toys.” Masters, who is listed as a mechanic in jail records, was charged with shoplifting, a misdemeanor, and booked into the county jail (from which he was later released on bond). A police report does not indicate whether the sex toys were seized as evidence.
Miami-Dade police release 'worst police sketch in history' for case By Zach Dennis Finding suspects is hard enough for police, but it's even more difficult when given a comically bad sketch to follow. So it was for Miami-Dade Police searching for DeAndre Charles, 15, of North Miami Beach in connection with the 2014 murder of Rabbi Joseph Raksin, CBS Miami reports. Their problem? The police sketch looked more like a Muppet than Charles. BuzzFeed called the sketch “the worst police sketch in history” and compared it to other lopsided works of art. The case started in North Miami Beach in 2014 when Raksin was shot and killed walking to a synagogue. CBS Miami reports that police raided the Charles’ home and said they found evidence linking to DeAndre, an accusation his family says is incorrect. Spoiler
LECANTO (CBSMiami) – A woman was arrested at a Lecanto Walmart on Tuesday after eating sushi, most of a rotisserie chicken and cinnamon rolls while drinking wine and driving a motorized shopping cart around the store. http://miami.cbslocal.com/2015/12/2...-wine-in-walmart-store/#.VoBWb4VebAE.facebook
The suspect allegedly shot up meth and then ate sushi, cinnamon rolls, rotisserie chicken and drank wine while driving a motorized shopping cart at a Walmart. The Citrus County Sheriff’s Office has arrested the suspect on charges of shoplifting and drug paraphernalia. She’s accused of consuming about $32 worth of food and wine at the store. Authorities said she took sushi, wine and other items off the shelves and consumed them. Two empty syringes were reportedly found in her purse.
When correctly executing a Dutch Oven goes wrong. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nat...ssaults-husband-farting-bed-article-1.2474111 Florida woman arrested for kicking and scratching gassy husband for farting in bed BY LAURA BULT NEW YORK DAILY NEWS POLICE HANDOUT Dawn Meikle, 55, was arrested after she got in a physical confrontation with her husband for passing gas. A Florida woman smelt it and then dealt her husband a beating after he repeatedly passed gas in bed. Dawn Meikle, 55, is facing misdemeanor battery charges after she elbowed, scratched and kicked her husband, Donald Meikle, on Dec. 11 inside their Port St. Lucie, Fla., home, according to Florida cops. Meikle elbowed her husband after he farted in bed in the middle of the night and eventually kicked him out, a police report said. When he returned to bed and continued to cut the cheese, Meikle furiously kicked and scratched her husband, the Off the Beat blog reported. “Dawn stated she asked Donald several times to stop passing gas in their bed,” cops said in the police report. Donald Meikle suffered 6- to 5-inch scratches on his chest and his T-shirt was ripped in three places from the altercation. Donald Meikle was restraining his outraged wife, and her lip got split open in the process, cops said. “He did not punch me. He was restraining me and somehow my lip got split open,” Dawn told cops when they responded.
Get on our level Entire Florida Police Dept Busted Laundering Tens of Millions for International Drug Cartels http://thefreethoughtproject.com/sm...ey-laundering-scheme-rake-millions-illegally/