Gross Stuff That You’ve Done/You Do and Shouldn’t Share

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by marcus, May 17, 2019 at 9:22 PM.

  1. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    This is the place to share it.

    1. I’ve eaten food while taking a shit
    2. Pissed my bed, woke up, but was so hungover I fell back asleep in it (like, shoulders to ankles wet).
    3. I’ll get this out of the way because the comments are coming — never let hair, toilet paper, or smell stop me from two-hole chowing. Never encountered visible dookie, but most assuredly ate it, though. Particles, man.
    4. If there’s like a bad smell, like I forget to wash behind my ear, I’ll inspect the smell and then smell it way more than necessary. I guess I’ve always been that way with smells, though. Any girl who liked me enough to allow my gnarly fingers in, I’d take wiffs the next morning until I showered.
    5. JO’d in my dorm while others were sleeping in it.

    There’s plenty more, as I’m a disgusting person, but I’ll build from there.
     
    #1 marcus, May 17, 2019 at 9:22 PM
    Last edited: May 18, 2019 at 12:45 AM
  2. TrustyPatches

    TrustyPatches Let me hold a #2 pencil cuz they testing
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  3. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Guilty of 1, 2, 4, 5
     
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  4. CUAngler

    CUAngler Royale with Cheese
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    There may be a booger or hundred under the driver seat in my truck
     
  5. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Made me real-life laugh for a good ten seconds
     
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  6. Degausser

    Degausser Well-Hung Member
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    When I cut my toenails, I'll usually chew on the good ones.
     
  7. Gunners

    Gunners Nicking a living
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    Haven't really done #1 but have probably ate a banana or something while taking a shit. Have definitely never had a plate and utensils while taking a shit.
    I've woken up with soaked underpants but bed was clean, believe I made it to the toilet and too drunk to pull down my underwear and just pissed them
    Wish I could eat ass like you
    I try to ignore my bad smells and hope people around me don't notice
    Imagine 90% of people who went to college have done this
     
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  8. DollarBillHokie

    DollarBillHokie Greatest Asset: being, like, really smart
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    Early on in the thread, Ohio guys are fucking disgusting
     
  9. What?
     
  10. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Those also fall under #4 for me.
     
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  11. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    We’ve all farted on our hands and smelled it. Right guys? Lol
     
  12. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Yeah man, I started a thread on it.
     
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  13. TrustyPatches

    TrustyPatches Let me hold a #2 pencil cuz they testing
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    That’s what you got a problem with?
     
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  14. Degausser

    Degausser Well-Hung Member
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    What are you confused about Shawn?
     
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  15. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    Most times after a tinkle, I'll just run my hands under water so people think I'm washing them
     
  16. Nothing surprises me with marcus though
     
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  17. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    #1 never involved plates and utensils, but a sandwich or granola bar? Yep
     
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  18. electronic

    electronic Fan of the Seahawks and no other teams of note
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    Walking home from a bar one night and my bhole let me know that I had about 15 seconds until I shit myself. I acted like I was getting a call while the rest of the group walked ahead, and I found a tree near a dark corner of a house, posted up next to it, and absolutely emptied my entire life of bad decisions against the side of the tree (and probably the side of the house). Cleaned up with my boxers and threw them in that house’s trash can.

    Still feel guilty about it, because it’s an awful thing to do to somebody. Really hope that old people or young kids didn’t live there, because by the sound of it, it must’ve been a horror show.
     
  19. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    The worse my ball sweat smells the better
     
  20. Degausser

    Degausser Well-Hung Member
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    If I j off and am too tired/lazy to go dispose of the load, I'll just put it in my pocket.
     
  21. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    This is called being resourceful.
     
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  22. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Haha
     
  23. TrustyPatches

    TrustyPatches Let me hold a #2 pencil cuz they testing
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    This is hilarious
     
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  24. electronic

    electronic Fan of the Seahawks and no other teams of note
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    I truly hope that there is a tissue or something else involved here or you may be a serial killer.
     
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  25. dump

    dump Tacos > Burritos
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    I like to smell it
     
  26. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! Creator of the 'Official Dads of TMB' thread.
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    I was so drunk the Friday of Florida/Georgia in 2003 that I walked out of a port-a-potty in the Landing drinking a beer, only to have a friend remind me that I didn’t enter the port-a-potty with a beer. It tasted fine, so I finished it...
     
  27. Degausser

    Degausser Well-Hung Member
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    If there was a tissue involved, my pocket wouldn't be.
     
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  28. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! Creator of the 'Official Dads of TMB' thread.
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    You like to smell devine’s ball sweat?
     
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  29. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Pile Driving Miss Daisy and dump like this.
  30. dump

    dump Tacos > Burritos
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    Yes
     
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  31. I mean who hasn't done it with at least a granola bar or some similar type food?
     
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  32. dump

    dump Tacos > Burritos
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    But nothing smells better than belly button gunk
     
  33. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Last summer, I was jogging and was about a mile from my house. Let’s just say I didn’t make it home
    4BAE9FB6-A45B-45A9-B9C4-5190742B3CEF.jpeg
    1E79D2CC-208A-46AA-B706-1E1726F43F30.jpeg
     
  34. Bill the Butcher

    Bill the Butcher Roscoe's favorite poster
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    I once grew a glorious womb broom mustache and ate that play doh factory while very drunk. Woke up the next day with poop crumbs in my mustache. Noticed at mcdonalds and kept eating my double cheese. Realized my finger smelled like poop too.

    If I wipe and get some crumbs on my finger I have to get it as close as possible to smell it

    Once pulled a hair clump out of my belly button the looked like a paint brush
     
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  35. Gunners

    Gunners Nicking a living
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    Not sure it's disgusting but a few months ago, I'm halfway to my destination in crazy DC traffic and it's bam, I'm about to shit my pants. Take the next exit, make it to a gas station in a not so great area, buy a bottled water so I can get the bathroom key and guy gives me shit. I tell him I'm about to shit my pants and get the key and blow the fuck out of the bathroom. Pretty sure everything inside of me came out in that toilet.
     
  36. electronic

    electronic Fan of the Seahawks and no other teams of note
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    Admirable consistency. I did not have such luck.
     
  37. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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  38. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    Lmao
     
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  39. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! Creator of the 'Official Dads of TMB' thread.
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  40. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Ive peed into jersey mikes cups three times in California traffic over the last 8 months
     
    #40 Goose, May 17, 2019 at 9:39 PM
    Last edited: May 18, 2019 at 10:47 AM
  41. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    Hahahahaha
     
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  42. dump

    dump Tacos > Burritos
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    also marcus creates the best threads

    they really bring us all together
     
  43. Gunners

    Gunners Nicking a living
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    Dude, why would you document that. You should also wear briefs for jogging
     
  44. Fusiontegra

    Fusiontegra My life is dope and I do dope shit.#SparedByThanos
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    I drop my finger nails beside my car seat because I bite them when I drive.

    The story of me pissing all over a girl who got off on it is floating around here, too.
     
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  45. devine

    devine hi, i am user devine
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    One time I shit myself. Went to the bathroom and put the boxers in my pocket for the rest of the day. Didn’t want to throw them out because they were coors ones I spent $15 on from target

    [​IMG]
     
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  46. Taques

    Taques let's mosey
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    :donotwant:
     
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  47. One time I was driving home from a function at school at night that I left early because the food wrecked havoc on my intestinal system. About two minutes from home, the undeniable feeling of liquid shit hit, and if I didn't shit in like 30 seconds, it was going to go all over my pants and the car. So I pulled into some business' parking lot, go on the edge where there was grass, and unleashed hell from my asshole. Luckily I keep napkins in the car so I wiped off with that and just left them in the grass. On the way back to school the next morning, I stopped by to see the damage.
     
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  48. AIP

    AIP Spilled the Paint
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    Savage
     
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  49. Emma

    Emma Hey
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    Are we really doing this?
     
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  50. AptosDuck

    AptosDuck Pedantic Hausfrau

    I touch myself at the gym when I'm around women doing kettle squats