Got in from mowing, saw it was 8-0 Oklahoma. Sooners might cash my over bet by themselves. At least we won a mid-major conference title!
In probably the most random drop in ever. Im currently in the hospital after a dog took a chunk out of my sack and I need some humor. Come talk to me about missing digits now.
Such a funny first date conversation. “yeah, I only have one testicle, I lost one in an accident.” “omg what happened” “chihuahua”
I once ran from a dog when I was like 6 years old and it bit me in the ass cheek. Drew blood but left my ass in-tact. They said it was a "million dollar wound" but the Army must keep that money cause I ain't seen a dime of that million dollars. I only say this to stand in solidarity although a sack attack sounds more painful.
A nurse I work with just told me last night her kid got a 250k settlement just the other day for getting attacked last year. Probably 4 years old. Has had to get a couple face surgeries but looks pretty good to me.
I was going to say, maybe I needed to get bit when I was little to make myself a little more presentable
Wasn't actually a chihuahua. My pain killer and sleep deprived brain was trying to be funny with dachshund. It was a German Shepherd
That changes the story from a silly close call for your coin purse to a legitimately scary tale that urges me to hug my balls like today is their last. (Tim McGraw’s live like you’re dying is playing in the background)
Woke up thinking about the time in high school when I stayed in a bud’s camper at Pawnee lake. The site next to us had a dad, a kid, and an old man, presumably the dad’s dad. They were fishing and we interacted with them a little in a friendly way. Middle of the night I stepped out of the camper to pee and saw the old-timer walking around. I nodded or said hi and he didn’t really acknowledge me. Next morning the guy from the next site was asking us if we’d “seen the old man around.” I told him I’d seen him the night before. I went home but my bud and another gal stayed that night again. They were sitting on the dock nearby when the old guy floated to the surface dead as hell! I was presumably the last person to see him alive. gbr
That's a hell of a way to tell everyone with a wink and a nod that you killed a man and that you'll kill again.
I thought he was talking about basketball. 2/3 of the team deciding to transfer on the same day would be quite the story.