I get kidnapped ( Hotel footage on page 10) Update: I am a wizard, and THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by BlazingRebel, Jan 31, 2016.

  1. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesBaltimore RavensWashington CapitalsUSA RugbyUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    http://www.al.com/news/birmingham/i...ills_woman_abducted.html#incart_most-readnews
    The abridged version of this mornings events.

    Okay story time:
    Couple walks in around 6AM asking me to call them a cab I call the cab and tel them it will be about 30 mins. I notice the dude's phone is a shitty old flip phone so I figure something is up with them. I figure calling the cops in a full hotel would create a hostage situation which wouldn't be good, so I decided to accept that if there would be any victims it would just be me. Around 6:15 the guy walks over to the door and the woman went outside, and he turns to me and says I have a gun give me all the money and your car keys. I look at him saying " Are you fucking kidding me?" He goes no I'm not fucking with you then I notice he has his finger in his jacket pocket to look like a gun. I say " That is your fucking finger quit fucking with me." He goes I'm not fucking with you I have a gun and lifts his jacket to show a nice automatic pistol in his belt
    " I say " oh you aren't fucking around huh?" I let him into the back room and he sat with the gun in his lap pointed it at me as he checked the camera. At this point I let him know the safe is in my GMs office and I have no way of getting into it so all I have is the 300 in the register. He starts cussing then tells me to give him all the money and the change so I bend down to get a bag to put everything in the bag and he asks if i set off a silent alarm. I show him nope no alarm here then he says did I call the cops I go nope phone is still in my pocket. He goes then why the fuck did you bend down? I say Because you fucking told me to give you the change so I got a bag and he says just the fucking bills.

    I say fine here then he goes well because you might have called the cops I will have to take you with us we just need to get gas for the car and we will let you go and your car. I say "ok at least we will be away from the hotel." We get in the car with me in the back middle seat so I'm not behind either of them, and we drive to their car with Midwest tags. They pop my gf's car's truck and then pop theirs and start loading their bags into my gf's car. I say I thought you said you wouldn't take the car, they say we just need your car to take us to Birmingham so we can get a fast car. Then they ask me if I have my cell phone I say yes, and they check to make sure I didn't call or text then chuck it into the grass saying I can get it when I come back.

    I direct them towards Birmingham and they drive through Bessemer trying to find a car lucky I wasn't shot by people there. We then go Hoover and drive around the Galleria and they tell me they want to use this blanket to cover me so I can't see the car they steal next. I say "Ok but it would look suspicious and fucking stupid with me looking like a red blanket ghost in the back seat, so they agree have me lie down and throw the blanket over me. They then decide to drive around for a victim, and out of no where I hear an angry black lady say " Ah hell no you aren't taking my fucking car, and she apparently chucked her keys, then says " I got you fuckers tags y'all bitches going to prison." By this time I am actually fearing for my safety because they get back into the car all panicked and cussing waving his gun around, the usual time the victim aka me gets shot or they get into a high speed car crash and I die from that.

    I'm now praying a lot and after what feels like an eternity they tap the blanket and he says get out and stay here we will be back in 20 mins with your car after we get another one. I say okay and just wait after about 10 mins of multiple cars going by I don't want them to be involved a Vestavia PD flies by and since nobody has a clue where the fuck I am I figure they just car jacked someone so I let him go by. After about 15 more mins I figured they were probably long gone so I took off down the road and flagged a car down where I called the cops and spent the last 6 hours at the Vestavia police dept.
    Fin
     
  2. skeezy

    skeezy Fan of: truck pulling ducks
    Donor TMB OG
    Tennessee VolunteersAtlanta BravesMemphis Grizzlies

    Cool story bro
     
  3. Iron Mickey

    Iron Mickey face your fears, then cum on them
    Donor TMB OG
    Arkansas RazorbacksSouth Carolina GamecocksNewcastle UnitedUnited States Men's National Soccer TeamReal Salt Lake

  4. CraigAnne Conway

    CraigAnne Conway Putting that ball into the basketball ring
    Donor
    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati RedsCleveland CavaliersCincinnati BengalsPittsburgh PenguinsDeVry FarvasXavier MusketeersUnited States Men's National Soccer TeamTennis

    I'm having trouble following what exactly happened here... but I'm glad you're alright, BlazingRebel
     
    Goose, Pelican, JBF76 and 3 others like this.
  5. HoosDaMan

    HoosDaMan Grumpy
    Virginia CavaliersDallas Cowboys

    Jesus. i feel like you were a little too accommodating.
     
    Croomsday, Zann, val venis and 29 others like this.
  6. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby I make more aioli in a week than you do in a year

    He is in the hospitality industry
     
  7. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    UCLA BruinsDenver BroncosLos Angeles Kings

    Did this also take 4 hours?
     
  8. Clown Baby

    Clown Baby I make more aioli in a week than you do in a year

    "Take me instead of the guests. I'm a real good sex person. I do it all the ways."
     
  9. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesBaltimore RavensWashington CapitalsUSA RugbyUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    Armed robbery, turned kidnapping
    Drove around Birmingham trying to find them a new car
    Tried to rob angry black woman failed miserably
    Dropped me off to find a car in a nice neighborhood which thankfully I knew.
    Home invasion on a poor lady because husband ran like a bitch when he saw the gun
    I run the fuck out of there once I realize the cops were on them
    Cop picks me up and I get to enjoy my morning and some of my afternoon at the Police Dept.
     
    Beeds07, Pelican, Wu and 13 others like this.
  10. Moxin24

    Moxin24 Show me that smile
    Staff Donor
    Michigan WolverinesDetroit TigersDetroit Lions

    lol @ acting like this hasn't happened to all of us before.
     
    Goose, Phillipdn, Pelican and 41 others like this.
  11. * J Y *

    * J Y * TEXAS
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Texas LonghornsTexas RangersSan Antonio SpursDallas Cowboys

    [​IMG]
     
  12. HoosDaMan

    HoosDaMan Grumpy
    Virginia CavaliersDallas Cowboys

    I respect the hell out of the black lady. Our hero was under the blanket in the backseat.
     
    NothingIsOT, Zann, KNOTT and 24 others like this.
  13. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesBaltimore RavensWashington CapitalsUSA RugbyUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    Just the the interrogation they weren't exactly in a quickie mood. :airquote:
     
    You likes this.
  14. kslim

    kslim EMAW
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsKansas City RoyalsAtlanta BravesTampa Bay Buccaneers

    lol you waited for 10 minutes, a cop drove by and then another 15 minutes after that until you booked it? No wonder it takes you 4 hours to nut
     
    #14 kslim, Jan 31, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2016
    Bruce Wayne, KNOTT, skeezy and 62 others like this.
  15. Moxin24

    Moxin24 Show me that smile
    Staff Donor
    Michigan WolverinesDetroit TigersDetroit Lions

    Congrats to the black lady for showing user BlazingRebel how its done.
     
    Zann, Bruce Wayne, skeezy and 45 others like this.
  16. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci How can less be more? It's impossible
    Donor

    glad you are okay friend
     
  17. Daniel Ocean

    Daniel Ocean I only lied about being a thief
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    UCLA BruinsDenver BroncosLos Angeles Kings

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
    Beeds07, tne, daddy fat sacks and 8 others like this.
  18. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci How can less be more? It's impossible
    Donor

    :bzzzz:
     
  19. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesBaltimore RavensWashington CapitalsUSA RugbyUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    Just glad that none of my hotel guests came down for breakfast during this whole thing.
     
    Wu, dump, devine and 1 other person like this.
  20. Rape Ape

    Rape Ape six foot twenty fucking killing for fun
    Donor TMB OG
    Virginia Tech HokiesOakland A'sLos Angeles LakersWashington RedskinsWashington CapitalsBayern MunichUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    top 2 discussions on that site are Obama going to a mosque and a player de-committing from Bama lmbo

    [​IMG]
     
  21. Fidelio

    Fidelio I wanna fuck you slow with the lights on
    Donor

    Is the motel still clerkless?
     
  22. Moxin24

    Moxin24 Show me that smile
    Staff Donor
    Michigan WolverinesDetroit TigersDetroit Lions

    Sure, but what about the gal who came down looking for a travel size tube of Crest after you left? You were too busy being kidnapped to help her.
     
    dump, Fuzzy Zoeller, devine and 3 others like this.
  23. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesBaltimore RavensWashington CapitalsUSA RugbyUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    Nope but the clerk that came in at 7am to find my laptop, meds, kindle, the cash drawer empty, no keys , or work phone was mighty confused on what the fuck was going on.
     
    Jorts, dump, Lefthook and 3 others like this.
  24. kslim

    kslim EMAW
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsKansas City RoyalsAtlanta BravesTampa Bay Buccaneers

    No regertz
     
  25. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesBaltimore RavensWashington CapitalsUSA RugbyUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    Damn I hope that doesn't affect her review of the hotel :/
     
  26. Moxin24

    Moxin24 Show me that smile
    Staff Donor
    Michigan WolverinesDetroit TigersDetroit Lions

    Seriously though, glad you're alright BlazingRebel

    I still got jokes though. I find your telling of this hilarious.

    At what point in the ordeal did you think, "I can't wait to tell TMB about this"?

    For me it would have been as soon as we got in the car.
     
    NothingIsOT, JC, Zann and 109 others like this.
  27. NP13

    NP13 MC OG
    Donor
    East Carolina PiratesAtlanta BravesCharlotte HornetsCarolina PanthersWashington RedskinsCarolina Hurricanes

    black ladies take shit from no one.
     
  28. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
    Staff Donor
    Florida Gators

    Little strange you didn't post this thread while it was all happening, but whatevs.

    What made you mention the police early in the op, when at that point they just needed a cab? I'm guessing they were obviously sketchy as hell.

    *and don't get caught up in exact times when doing your inevitable depo.
     
    devine likes this.
  29. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
    Staff Donor
    Florida Gators

    Insert food stamps joke?
     
    dump, A Black person and dcspartan like this.
  30. kslim

    kslim EMAW
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsKansas City RoyalsAtlanta BravesTampa Bay Buccaneers

    Best part for me by far.

    "Not to fucking day" and then a furios 50 yd bomb of said keys is how i imagined it go down
     
    Val Venis, Clemsurf, lazy bum and 9 others like this.
  31. NilesIrish

    NilesIrish Come to Notre Dame, you can ride a horse.
    Donor TMB OG
    Notre Dame Fighting IrishChicago CubsChicago BullsChicago BearsChicago Blackhawks

    How did you see him waving the gun from under your red ghost blanket?
     
  32. kslim

    kslim EMAW
    Donor
    Kansas State WildcatsKansas City RoyalsAtlanta BravesTampa Bay Buccaneers

    Not the smartest choice to be on your phone when being held up
     
  33. HoosDaMan

    HoosDaMan Grumpy
    Virginia CavaliersDallas Cowboys

    As soon as they asked me to cover myself with the blanket, I would be thinking they're going to shoot me and don't want to look me in the eyes
     
  34. Moxin24

    Moxin24 Show me that smile
    Staff Donor
    Michigan WolverinesDetroit TigersDetroit Lions

    "Dude, its cool. I'm just MainBoarding"
     
  35. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesBaltimore RavensWashington CapitalsUSA RugbyUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    They chunked my phone into the parking lot before we left. I will say this I did ask " What would have happened if I didn't have a car there?" They said they would have had me open occupied rooms and they would have robbed as many guests as they could then took one of there cars." So I am glad it was just me that was in harms way.
     
  36. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesBaltimore RavensWashington CapitalsUSA RugbyUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    I had sat up to get buckled up because I knew they were about peel the fuck out of there which was quickly met with a gun pointed at me to get back under my safety blanket.
     
  37. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesBaltimore RavensWashington CapitalsUSA RugbyUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    It did cross my mind especially after they fucked up the first car jacking.
     
  38. Trop

    Trop 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
    Donor
    Clemson TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta UnitedTiger Woods

    I'm dying over here lolololololo:

    I say " That is your fucking finger quit fucking with me." He goes I'm not fucking with you I have a gun and lifts his jacket to show a nice automatic pistol in his belt
    " I say " oh you aren't fucking around huh?"
     
    Val Venis, Beeds07, Clemsurf and 27 others like this.
  39. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesBaltimore RavensWashington CapitalsUSA RugbyUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

  40. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesBaltimore RavensWashington CapitalsUSA RugbyUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    No lie the only thing keeping me calm was just joking around and being my smart ass self. I didn't actually want to think yep I'm gonna die. Also yes once they we headed towards Birmingham I figured I was going to die or this would make a great story.
     
  41. NilesIrish

    NilesIrish Come to Notre Dame, you can ride a horse.
    Donor TMB OG
    Notre Dame Fighting IrishChicago CubsChicago BullsChicago BearsChicago Blackhawks

    This is either exceptional post reality fiction, or, terrifying. Either way, good for you BlazingRebel
     
    PhupaPhever likes this.
  42. Trop

    Trop 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
    Donor
    Clemson TigersAtlanta BravesAtlanta UnitedTiger Woods

    Still reading, but you botched this whole thing. You talk way too much, man. Lucky they didn't put you in the trunk.

    I say "Ok but it would look suspicious and fucking stupid with me looking like a red blanket ghost in the back seat, so they agree have me lie down and throw the blanket over me.
     
    dump, A Black person, devine and 2 others like this.
  43. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci How can less be more? It's impossible
    Donor

    devine likes this.
  44. Wu

    Wu LKY did nothing wrong
    TMB OG

    Roll Tide.
     
    NineteenNine, dump, Big Meech and 4 others like this.
  45. Moxin24

    Moxin24 Show me that smile
    Staff Donor
    Michigan WolverinesDetroit TigersDetroit Lions

    Zann, GGCD, BuckeyeRiot and 29 others like this.
  46. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesBaltimore RavensWashington CapitalsUSA RugbyUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    My talking and jokes is what kept them calm and relaxed they were cracking up with me, I could tell they didn't want to hurt anyone but had really fucked up and had nothing left to do.
     
    dump, devine, Merica and 2 others like this.
  47. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesBaltimore RavensWashington CapitalsUSA RugbyUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

     
    tylerdolphin and Tiffin like this.
  48. Corky Bucek

    Corky Bucek Proud Chrysler LeBaron owner
    Staff Donor TMB OG
    Auburn TigersLos Angeles LakersLos Angeles RamsAnaheim DucksManchester United

    Brandon Harder
    Get em!
    Like · [​IMG]1 · Reply · Report · 17 minutes ago
    Robert Mech
    SHOOT AND KILL THEM IF YOU SEE THEM!!!!!!
    Like · Reply · Report · 9 minutes ago
    Joey Duncan
    Thugs!
    Like · Reply · Report · 8 minutes ago
    Iris Whitfield Wood
    And people wander why I don't allow people on my property. But this story is strange
    Like · Reply · Report · 3 minutes ago
    Dennis Earl Kizziah
    Feral thugs, get them off the streets.
    Like · Reply · Report · 3 minutes ago
     
    dump, Mookie Blaylock and AubCabs like this.
  49. Gtr

    Gtr Guest

    These comments have me cracking up


    Brandon Harder

    Get em!
    Like1Reply · More · 21 minutes ago
    Robert Mech
    SHOOT AND KILL THEM IF YOU SEE THEM!!!!!!
    LikeReply · More · 13 minutes ago
    Joey Duncan
    Thugs!
    Like1Reply · More · 12 minutes ago
    Iris Whitfield Wood
    And people wander why I don't allow people on my property. But this story is strange
    Like1Reply · More · 7 minutes ago
    Dennis Earl Kizziah
    Feral thugs, get them off the streets.
    Like1Reply · More · 6 minutes ago
    Dan Burke
    Stephanie Burke Jordan Burke
    LikeReply · More · 5 minutes ago
    Sheila Garrick Freeman
    Drugs!
    LikeReply · More · 5 minutes ago
    Day Ramsey Taylor
    Great job!
    LikeReply · More · 4 minutes ago
    Barbara Nosef Zarzaur
    WOW......
    LikeReply · More · 3 minutes ago
     
    dump, Tiffin and Swim Cantore like this.
  50. BlazingRebel

    BlazingRebel Dog Crew Founder Migraine Connoisseur
    Donor
    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesBaltimore RavensWashington CapitalsUSA RugbyUnited States Men's National Soccer Team

    Oh these should be fucking gold.
     
    dump, devine and Corky Bucek like this.