Welp, here I am again. I mentioned it last night how we all have a stomach bug and I’m feeling better today but sure enough I thought I was in the clear and I was wrong. Tried to sneak a fart at my desk and it was not all fart.
Haha meant to post this a few weeks ago but forgot. We were out with friends and one of them got this from their kid at college. Mom said clean yourself and keep partying. Dad said clean yourself up the best you can and take your dirty ass home.
Working from home has taken its toll on posting in here. No need to try and hold it in at work when you have the home field advantage.
Also there's a very good chance I probably sharted in the past 8 months but was too lazy to update this thread.
Been eating a lot of yogurt lately so yea... shit my pants the other day Thought it was just a wet fart and was in loser denial for a minute. Thank God for telework.
I’ve had the sneeze doodles the past year. Sometimes I sneezed/snoozed so hard I poop a bit. Not one bit of fun
Personal development Friday at school so the kids are home. Didn't feel off in the morning, went through a bridal shower with my colleagues in the lunch room. Started to get waves of vertigo while talking to coworkers. Excused myself and wobbly walked to a staff bathroom. The next 2 hours consisted of throwing up until it was just bile and shitting myself with diarrhea at the same time. Onset fever was so terrible that I probably lost 2 pounds in sweat, tried to sleep on the bathroom floor as I couldn't move without triggering more toilet time out of both ends. Felt like I was dying and was to be found curled up on the staff bathroom floor with a toilet and sink full of diarrhea and vomit. Somehow made it to my classroom, door locks automatically. Shut the lights off, crawled on the floor, triggered another throw up session. Had more diarrhea in my garbage bins when I wasn't throwing up. Curled up with a blanket that students use which likely is somehow cleaner than I now am and slept in a wood cozy cube for 2 hours. Leaving cleaning the cozy cube until next week as I'm sparsely covered with products from both ends. Still residual dizziness. I smell like death too. Either my blood pressure went to shit, I had food poisoning, vertigo or something else.
Let it be noted: ER visit is on the docket once I can stand up and walk without yakking. I do understand the appeal of this cozy cube for my students though.
Roughly 24 hours into my covid stint I thought my body had been drained of all liquid Nope, a nice yellow blast appeared
Shitting in trash cans at work should be an automatic “i gotta go to the hospital and if i cant walk out of here under my own power 911 is going to have to take me”.
I'm not dead, but definitely feel so. Slept a while longer in the cozy cube. Environmental worker/janitor unlocked my classroom to snag my recycling bins, turned on the lights and spots me curled up. Had to explain the reasoning behind the makeshift garbage bin toilets. Gave it an attempt to walk across the street to the ER. Essentially threw up the fruit snacks and water I had earlier to see if it was a blood sugar level problem as soon as I made it to the school hallway. Called up a PE teacher colleague, she got me an extra large floor scooter to sit on and pushed me across the road to the ER. I understand ERs see everything, but each layer of clothing has either shit or puke on it and I smell putrid. Not my proudest moment right now. Waiting on blood test results, laying down in a dark room with a much needed IV.
Legit sounds like noravirus or food poisoning but I'm no doctor. Hopefully that means Emma is feeling better already.
I had what Emma most likely had a couple of times from my kid and was live posting my death in the dads thread.
I got norovirus like 4 years ago and had to go to the ER. My wife wouldn’t let me stay home anymore. Started feeling like shit at 9pm and by 4am I was faceplanting into walls trying to get to the bathroom. Sickest I’ve ever been in my life. I was fine 24 hours later.