Got lunch yesterday at Johnny's charcoal broiler outside of okc and there was a ball of clothes wadded up next to the toilet. Guess someone had a bad day. No I did not unwad them.
I was looking for a gif for the tinder thread earlier, and came across this - perfect for this thread
A few days ago I was in the process of moving from one city to another nearby city. I was taking a trailer load of stuff to a storage unit in the new city and about 1/3 of the way in my stomach starts to churn. This feeling has happened in the past and it's usually a very uncomfortable few moments, but it subsides and the urge to spray paint my pants fades away. As I was experiencing this feeling I passed right past a rest area without stopping because I figured it would pass and I'd be fine. This was not the case. A minute or two after I passed the rest area a urge to poop ran through my body like I have never felt before. I was in an area between Phoenix and Tucson and there was nothing around. I considered turning around to head back to the rest area that I had just passed but I really didn't think I would be able to make it there. So I continued on my heading, hoping that a gas station would be coming up real soon. Meanwhile, I'm screaming and cussing to myself in my car and I'm squirming around in my seat doing everything I can to keep it inside. I see a sign that indicates there's a gas station at the next exit and I hit the gas. My SUV is small and I was pulling a heavy load, but I had to get there quick. I pull off the interstate and see the gas station off to the right and my hope now is that it's not a single stall and that it's not busy. I pull into the parking lot and rush inside. As I breach the entrance I check the scenery and it's moderately busy. People at the cashier, people browsing the drinks and snacks. As I'm halfway from the entrance to the bathroom I experience a feeling that I have never felt before, as hot liquid escapes my butthole while there's nothing I can do about it. I reach my hand around to check my butt and my fingertips come back covered in brown liquid. I still haven't reached the bathroom yet so I throw both hands behind me in an attempt to cover whatever it is it looks like back there. I reach the bathroom hallway finally and angle my body so my butt isn't showing to the convenience area. Through the bathroom door I see two stalls and both are empty. I make my way to the nearest one. I'm not concerned with the damage to my shorts yet because I have plenty more liquid to unleash from my butthole. It was a weird feeling when I finished peeing out of my butt. Yes I was relieved but I also was shocked by what had just happened. I'M AN ADULT AND I JUST SHIT MYSELF. Now that my stomach feels better I can assess the situation more. My underwear has a large brown stain and my slate colored shorts also have a stain that's about as big as a Roma tomato. I didn't know what to do. I use toilet paper to try to absorb it away from the fabric but it's not doing much. I think about the stuff I'm moving but this particular load doesn't have any clothes. Mostly furniture and other items that are useless in this situation. I decide there's nothing I can do. Just run out of the gas station as fast as I can and get to my car. Luckily the bathroom stayed empty the entire time I was in there and it was empty when I was ready to leave. As I'm leaving the bathroom I cautiously poke my head out of the door and I see there is a back exit near the bathroom that I didn't notice on my way in. I just have to make it all the way across the parking lot now, but I thought that was better than going through the inside of the gas station. As I'm walking I again try to keep my hands behind me to cover the stain. I get back to my car and luckily I have a plastic bag that I put between me and my seat to protect it some shit stains and smells. I have to continue on my trip. I can't turn around and not drop this stuff off at storage. I knew I probably wouldn't encounter many, if any people anymore. I can park next to the storage unit and just unload it as quick as possible. So I continue on, sitting in my soiled pants. I make it to the storage unit without further incident. It's June, in Arizona, and I have to move multiple large items and boxes. Sweat. This was not fun and I did not smell nice after this. But I got all the stuff into the storage unit without anybody seeing me and the drive home is as fine as it can be. But my wife is going to be home when I get there. How was I going to handle that? As soon as I walk through the door she greats me and asks how the trip was. I say fine and tell her I need the bathroom. Luck is on my side as much as can be throughout all of this because I had a pile of dirty clothes right next to the bathroom so I quickly grab a pair of shorts and underwear from it and sneak into the bathroom to change. I went from slate colored to khaki colored shorts but my wife didn't notice. I shove my soiled clothes under the sink with intentions of coming back to throw them away when my wife was preoccupied elsewhere in the house. They were there for a few hours at least. I haven't been the same since then. It's happened once and now it's in my mind that it could happen again. It's nice that there's a place that I can share this story with other people who have encountered similar situations. For those of us that this has happened to, it's such a sucky situation that you would never wish it on anyone, even our enemies.
I'm absolutely destroying a dentist office bathroom right now. The next person that comes in here is going to have their face melt off.
Who seriously hopes other people dont walk into the bathroom while youre creating your masterpiece. Getting perfect strangers to remark is one of the funniest things you can do.
Welp, happened again. I didn't shit my pants, but I couldn't make one full lap around my neighborhood during my run just now and had to dart behind some bushes. I even tried to fucking poop before hand and I got only a few solid little turds. Regardless, when I go running, it's full on Oregon Trail mother-fucking-dysentery. I don't think I have IBS since it's only a problem when I run, but man I'm going to get caught one of these days.
I'm aware that this is a thing, it's more of a problem that I try to go before I run and often can't. Usually if it hits me I can make it back to the house in time.
So if you try to force it and can't go or only a little comes out, but then running makes you shit dysentery style, chances are you are constipated. When constipated, the body will use liquid to help force out your shit when it's time to shit, hence why your running shits are dysentery style. Having to force a shit and only having little turds come out is also a sign of constipation. Probably time to increase the fiber in your diet - adult males should be getting 30+ grams of fiber a day - and thus also increase the amount of water you consume. If you increase your fiber intake and don't increase your water intake, the extra fiber will just make the constipation worse.
I do this after exercise but it's just the worst type of farts I'll ever have. Bus rides on the way home after soccer game were fucking horrible for me due to this phenomenon. We'd be on the same bus as the girls team and jesus I used to punish those poor girls. The worst was when both teams lost and none of us could talk. Nothing worse than stewing in someone else's brew while already upset and unable to even laugh about it without getting in trouble.
Shawn, trust me, I'm not constipated. It's more likely I need to lay off the coffee in the morning, but that's tough.
I was planting some bushes this past weekend. Hot as shit and had been chugging water. Took a break from digging to adjust my belt and WHAM. Somehow clenched the sphincter in time to minimize damage. I did laugh at the crumb trail I left: shovel in ground, garden gloves on the porch, and assorted sweaty clothing items beginning just inside the front door, ending with lightly soiled boxers in front of the toilet
After I lift in the mornings I come home and have to take a huge, periscoping turd. I always say I shook one loose. Thats like the only time I typically shit now because it's like i just shake it loose at the gym from the day before.
We have low flow toilets so I will wait to wipe and flush to watch it slowly go down the drain like a big brown beached whale returning to sea.
6-7 poops today. None really clean. Has anyone got tested for allergies and/or blood work done, which figured out their issues, i.e. why they shit themselves at work? Thx.
You're going to have to go through a colonoscopy and some other tests to rule out Chrones, divuticulitis, etc just to be told you've got IBS. Hope this helps.
Nope got lucky it was the rare rock hard turd for me so I was able to hold it until I could get to a gas station. My IBS didn't win today.