Hour long break between classes early in the semester was made for seeking out prime shifting locations
There were plenty of bathrooms in college to choose from. But in high school I'd just go to the theatre and drop a deuce if it was going to be a bad one. No one was ever in there during the day. I also used the faculty bathroom regularly in one of our buildings, because it was easy access under a stairwell.
Never took a shit at any academic facility 1st grade thru grad school. Always had a phobia I would get trapped in a flooded school restroom with old toilets and shit floating around everywhere.
I can only think of a handful of times I ever had to shit at school. Never occurred on a regular basis which now is a strange thing to me.
I never once shit at school in high school but once I got to college I’d have to run out the door for early classes without dropping a deuce sometimes. It didn’t happen often but it was nice to have a isolated private place when in need.
This was so clutch. I found a couple faculty bathrooms which were outside the normal student paths. Also used to sleep in the teachers lounge of the engineering building during pledging. No clue how I didn’t get kicked out of there as frequently as I destroyed their bathrooms.
It happened again. Went to a wing place, first greasy food I've had in a while. Immediately after leaving the parking lot my gut is on fire. End up pulling into a mcdonalds and dragging my 4 year old in with me. Molten lava starts breaching my bung hole and butt cheeks. Worried it's running down my leg i try to plug my crack with my hand and drag my kid into the restroom with the other. Fucking stall is locked. Pop my head out to check the women's, nope two little girls walk in there. I can shit in the sink or the urinal. Another big spurt that I can feel has shot up the front of my shorts and into my pockets. There is shit on the ground. my kid starts to tell me I smell like a porta potty and I'm a bad boy for pooping my pants. The stall door opens and its some high school employee and he looks up from his phone only to see me streaming shit all over the floor. My kid tells me "dad i can see the poop your shorts are all wet." I give a quick shit happens line and bust in there. My underwear are soaked, it's mud. Can't even wipe with em. Use all the TP, use some cleaning supplies. Toss my drawers and try to clean up the puddle of guts on the ground. The interior of my shorts were literally mud. Had to drive home like that. It's on my truck seats. My shoes are ruined. I had to get my socks wet and scrub my taint in the bath room. Fucking hillbillies eating McD's on a Saturday got to see me walk out of there with a shit smeared outfit.
those damn hillbillies, just sitting there watching you shit your pants in public. The deal with poop-causing (greasy) food is waiting at the restaurant after meal or just taking it to go, unfortunately.
Was just taking a piss (thankfully in the comforts of my master bathroom), when I felt the all-too-familiar rumble of an imminent mid-piss fart. Fired off three quick blasts that sounded like a shotgun, followed by a fourth that was decidedly more wet. Clenched as tight as I could, but the damage had been done. Walked out of the bathroom with a shirt on and my shorts in my hand, but no bottoms, only to find my wife sitting on the bed. I told her I needed to change into different underwear to workout, so I didn’t have to tell her I sharted myself.
Glad I saw this in the 15 minutes it was up. I don't know who it was, but they should just own it. Shitting yourself is just plain funny.
How can you read a thread full of hilarious incontinence stories and not want to join in the fun? Edit- incontinence is only urinary I think, but w/e
This isn’t a pant shitting scenario but I figured this was the place for it. My fat ass close friend that lives in Texas always stays at my house when he comes up to visit. He’s broken three toilet seats because he gets buzzed and then just plops down with his full weight. He always says he’ll fix it but then has to leave the next day. So I have to go to Home Depot and fix it. Damn. Just sit down gently, it’s not that difficult.
I saw it originally. Dude missed the toilet and poop was all over. Thought it was funny so I screen-shot it to a Gator board. The post lives.
There is a fat fuck in my men's ice hockey league that broke a toilet off the wall by sitting on it. You know the industrial toilets that don't have a tank and are mounted on the wall? Well he does this then goes and tells the desk that there's a toilet that isn't working.
You're the hero we deserve bertwing Someone get in here and claim this fucking Jackson Pollock masterpiece you crafted. Just be glad you got it outside the pants and didn't have to wallow in your own filth like I did.
I’m not trying to be too harsh because this is a good friend but he broke a toilet at one of my friends apartments. This wasn’t just a seat. The tank got cracked all the way through. How does that even happen? He denied that it was him but we all know it was.
A very large relative of mine once busted a toilet and the broke the sink off the wall in the same bathroom trip. Best i could figure when he broke the toilet he used the sink to push himself up with.
PILATE: I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. Anybody else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus... GUARD #1: chuckling PILATE: ...Dickus? GUARD #1: chuckling PILATE: What about you? Do you find it... wisible... when I say the name... 'Biggus'... GUARD #3: chuckle PILATE: ...'Dickus'? GUARD #1 and GUARD #2: chuckling PILATE: He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's called... 'Incontinentia'. 'Incontinentia Buttocks'. GUARDS: laughing
In his own house or someone else's? Imagining this dude informing the homeowner that he just absolutely ruined their bathroom would be hilarious
It was a summer rental. Called the rental agency and they sent the maintenance guy. He didnt ask any questions but the look on his face was hilarious. The family member claimed the floor was wet and it was a slip and fall. We all knew that was a fucking lie but i guess that was as good of an excuse as any for the maintenance guy.
Oh god it happened today. Took a shit after breakfast and took the kid down to the fun factory. Went to the restroom before go karts to take a piss. Go wash my hands and let a fart out. “I just shit my pants.” Went into a stall to assess the damage. Shit juice from the asshole all the way down to the leg opening. No saving those boxers so they’re in the trash can now and I have no underwear.