I did tell my wife while the kid was still playing at the factory because I figured she’d find it hiliarious. She did ask if I was proud or embarrassed. I was afraid to fart the rest of the day.
I shit myself this morning. I woke myself up with what I thought was a fart and instead it was a shart. I didn't realize until I got up to go piss and felt something wet. I cleaned myself up and then came back to the bed using my phone's flash light to look at the covers. Yeah there was some brown liquid on the sheets. My wife asked what happened and I embarrassingly had to tell her I had an accident.
A good age measurement of all TMB is that this thread is currently just as active as the tinder thread, if not more.
I did that once when I was sick in college. Sharted in the middle of the night while I was asleep, had no clue it happened until I felt something wet when I went to roll out of bed. Didn't get on the sheets thankfully.
Your body involuntarily hitting the eject button while you’re sleeping is pretty concerning. Much respect for really pushing your limits though.
Didn’t shit my pants but I took such a monster shit this morning that my knuckle dragged in it when I went to wipe due to it being piled up so high in the toilet bowl. Happy morning gents!
Sometimes I won’t poop for like two full days then it comes out in full force. Is there something wrong with me?
Typically i won’t poop if I don’t workout. So my huge shit yesterday came on the heels of eating a ton of food on Sunday, not training or shitting on Monday, and after shaking that shit loose at the gym yesterday morning.
What is wrong with you guys? I typically dont make it an hour after a meal before I gotta drop some kids off at the pool
I think there are a number of things I do in my life that probably attribute to it. Mainly I need to get out and excersise more. I have a sedentary office job so I sit around all day, oh and quit drinking so much, that would probably help..
I have a mostly sedentary job as well. Part of my GI/excretory system problem appears to have been gluten intolerance though since all that stuff has been working like a charm since I went gluten free. Maybe you should try that too.
Try drinking more beer. Usually gets my bowels running really well the next morning right after coffee
This is just an occasional issue. Usually everything works fine. I thiink more booze is not my best route. Maybe switch to beer instead of a steady diet of bourbon would probably be my best bet.
Was out hunting with a buddy over labor day. We're out walking around really fucking far from anything. No TP with us but had some in his truck. We're probably 2 miles from his truck and it's ~90 degrees out. He's like dude we need to go. We're walking and he's like man I'm getting the cold sweats so bad. Make it to his truck and he drops a deuce sitting against his truck so as to not shit all over his clothes. Just sprayed his back wheel and tire. It was still there a few days later. Got baked on. He also shit into an empty rusted out cattle tank the next day. Had tp that time though.
The best part was when he tried to squeegee (sp?) the shit off with one of those that are at gas stations for windshields. No dice. He was like well now I'm obviously going to have to stop at a car wash before I get home and have to explain this to my wife.
Wrapping up quarter-end close. Only had to endure for less than hour so didn’t want to make it obvious since I can hide in my office.
Have a good buddy who worked at a gym for a while right out of college. One day he sends me a picture from their security camera of some guilty looking middle aged lady. Apparently she had gone into a massage room (pretty big gym) and taken a shit into a towel and left it in there. They figured out who it was from the time stamp on the camera after they found the deuce in the towel when a masseuse went to give someone a massage. She was apparently the CEO of a well known local company.
Googled Nebraska Furniture Mart to see if they had a female CEO. I was initially disappointed to see a man’s name, then delighted when I read that the CEO’s name is “Irv Blumkin.”
Not at work but I just sharted in my gym shorts playing Call of Duty. I’ve been eating horrible because I have surgery Weds but this is sad