Ever get called into an impromptu meeting and develop a body temperature changing shit urge? Not that fun.
I’ve been on a fried chicken diet after the weight loss diet for the wedding and my injury. So much Popeyes and Zaxbys.
I had really explosive poops for a long time but now I’ll go days at a time without pooping at all and when I do it’s super hard solid turds. Usually just small hard nuggets. I drink too much so I worry that my body isn’t breaking stuff down properly.
I'm more disturbed that there are women willing to marry men who still play video games after college
Like, instead of video games? Yeah absolutely. Can rarely play them like I used to. Still like to play them occasionally, generally after the family is asleep with a beer.
Mr. butcher. I read this today at work, was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. Was very hard to explain what I was laughing at
So question, do you remove your pants when using this? It’s hard to get my legs up when I have jeans on unless I pull a leg out of the pants. I need more yoga for sure.
we temporarily hired a very obese man at work, he was unable to use the toilet for 1 or 2 without making a mess. trying to be polite to this person was one of the most difficult professional situations i have encountered.
he's a big piss soaked blob of a man, i didn't have enough respect for him to participate in a full conversation.
he was hired while i was away for a week and when i got back the bathroom was awful, i thought it was one of our customers or a delivery guy because they would fuck it up regularly. i decided at a minimum to spray the floor area with bleach and go looking for that in the warehouse. there i see piss boy and another guy standing around, i introduce myself and then ask "have you guys seen the cleaning bucket? somebody decided the floor was a better place for piss than the urinal". i could tell by the way he responded that he was guilty and i never said much more than hello in passing to him after that.
What’s the rule on letting farts fly at the urinal at work? I’ve started doing it the last few months and I’m not changing.
If there is only one safe place to fart, it is the bathroom. Where else are you going to do it, go outside every time?
Before I found out I had celiac disease I've had to pull over on the side of the road a handful of times to shit. Not fun at all. Love the stories
Luckily I only had to do that once in my life. Thankfully it was at night because it sure as hell wouldn't have been easy to hide during the day where I had to pull over.
Checking in today, almost made it through 2018. God, I don't know if I got a mild case of food poisoning last night from the pork or what, but I've been on the toilet all day. The extreme gas buildup I'm having is by far the worst part.
This reminds me of a story I think I might have told on here. A few years ago, I was coming down with a cold and was getting congested. I was scheduled for a meeting with a customer, and he said we could do it remotely so I wouldn't pass any germs to him. He asks if I wanted to hear his home remedy? I say sure. He said head over to the local grocery store and head to the vitamin section and buy the biggest dosage of Vitamin C I could buy. He said come back to the office and take around 5,000 mgs of vitamin c. Then do that every 4 hours. Your body will absorb as much as it can, and the excess will just get urinated out. He gets a bit quiet as I am ready to head off to the store and says, "but there is one side effect... it can increase farts or pooping". I laugh and tell him I will keep him posted. Sure enough, about 6 hours later, I have the rumbles and all of a sudden my farts were the loudest and most violent farts I have ever heard. I ended up catching a shart in midstep and had to run to the restroom and change my shorts. Luckily it was a small office with just me and a couple sales people. We all thought it was hilarious and it was non stop for about 2 hours. I lowered the dosage a little while after that and never had any problems again.
Was in Kansas City for work once and my Ukrainian friend wanted to check out this nice Italian restaurant he had read about online. After dinner I felt a slight but yet nothing too unusual of a rumble in my stomach. I knew I was going to have to shit but the hotel was only a 10-15 minute drive away. Just as we pulled out of the parking lot my body temperature felt like it jumped 20 degrees. My stomach is violent rumbling, sweat is pouring down my face, and it felt like shit was about to spray out of my asshole. Anyways, I’m driving like 75 mph in a 45 with my hips raised up in the air to get the maximum butt clinch to avoid any seepage trying to avoid a rental car cleaning fee. My Ukrainian friend, who is like 6’8 270 lbs is next to me crammed into this tiny fucking clown car crying because he thinks it is hilarious and commenting how the farts that leaked through my squeezed shut ass cheeks were messing with his breathing. We finally get to our hotel and I don’t even make it to the front doors. I parked the car right in the middle of the drive way, jump out and start half power walking/ jogging trying to keep everything concealed, go into the lobby, find the bathroom and as I pulled my pants down and started to bend and sit down, my ass cheeks opened up and all of the liquid shit that was in me shot out all over the back of the toilet and the wall. That’s all I got.
This right now minus the Ukranian friend. Sitting in the Walmart bathroom killing everybody who walks in with the stench that is coming out of me.