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Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Hoss Bonaventure, Jul 8, 2015.
This is a weird thread.
this is the best thread on the board
get off your lazy ass and diagnose Emma
I think the thread where we rated actual poops was more fun. Phenomenally immature and weird, but fun nonetheless.
Yeah. I could get really detailed but I’ll refrain.
You want to start the 2019 version?
I had a dream about doing this last night, and boy was it vivid
Did you wake up covered in shit like after a piss dream?
No. I woke up in a panic, took a smell/moisture check, and then realized that I was neither 4 nor 94 years old
I crapped the bed once in college. I was, however, incredibly sick and having fever dreams.
I shit myself twice last night but luckily I was at home
Waited too long or released some pressure?
No. Both were farts that went bad because of dehydration I think
Did your girl make it out alive?
Bent over to pick something at work and fart tried to sneak out. It wasn't a fart. Clenched just in time.
Best thread on the board.
Washed both pairs of shorts. Nervous to check them
Can we get an update?
Did you wash off the pool and then throw them in the washer or did you throw them in with poop on the shorts?
Come on now... we both know devine threw them in with the poo and continued to shit in the washing machine since it was right there...
Now that the search function is fixed I can bump this thread.
A few weeks ago I was violently ill. From 5am until 5pm that day was shitting and puking my guts out. And it wasn’t like “oh you’re about to poop better go get on the toilet,” it was “you have 7 seconds to be on the toilet and then you’re gonna have to guess which end it’s coming out.” Needless to say we lost a couple of boxers during those 12 hours.
Fast forward to the next morning. I wake up, get out of bed and thought “I’m feeling a lot better, might be able to make it to the office.” I immediately shit my pants upon finishing the thought. Decided to burn a sick day.
I’m in a current battle with the flu. I haven’t been eating at all, mostly liquid diet. It’s led to the same on the other end. Several sharts over the last few days.
It's purely a function of our dystopian work culture that there are so many fecally befouled people at the office during viral season
Bananas and chicken broth (chicken noodle soup qualifies).
My stomach bug jam is plain 'gurt, banans + crushed up nilla wafers and i can't wait to get sick every year
Sop it up with a bunch of bread and crackers. That’ll make ya have a solid turd. It’s science.
We have a long secluded hallway leading to our bathrooms at work.
I turned the corner a while ago and saw some guy holding his butt and scampering to the bathroom. No way he didn't poop his pants. Only noobs hold their butts to prevent poop.
The flu can do a number on the digestive system. When I had it a few years ago I had it coming out of both ends. Was in the shower when one hit me instantly and I just shit in the shower because there was no use trying to run out and get to the toilet. Not my proudest moment.
So you just Kelly Clarkson’d
I’d like to be able to say I fought the battle and won, but at 6:30 am this morning at my desk I coughed and shit myself. I swear I felt it run up my back.
It’s impossible to not enjoy a grown man shitting himself.
Ate something bad last night, most likely some bad chicken
I just hit the glorious pants shitting while simultaneously puking milestone
Welcome to the club, we’ve got jackets.
Wtf #1 why are you at your desk at 6:30?
#2 ON A SATURDAY NO LESS
currently on a Tuesday through Saturday schedule.
Are they brown?
White with a brown racing stripe
Really proud of you.
shitting while puking is definitely the pro move because at least you have something to catch the shit
only amateurs puke while they’re shitting unless they have a trash can nearby
If given the choice as written above, shitting your pants would be the amateur move
sure, IF you have a trash can
but if you’re in a public stall you’re not going to have one so pants shitting is the pro move
If I'm sick enough to puke and shit simultaneously I am not going to be anywhere near a public bathroom.
Home double ejection move is to dump in the toilet whilst puking into a bucket and crying.
Toilet is close enough to the bathtub so I just yak into there.