I just shit my pants at work.

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Hoss Bonaventure, Jul 8, 2015.

  1. lechnerd

    lechnerd They say Monaco is a sunny place for shady people
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    This is a weird thread.
     
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  2. bro

    bro Hey Hermano
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    this is the best thread on the board
     
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  3. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    get off your lazy ass and diagnose Emma
     
  4. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    I think the thread where we rated actual poops was more fun. Phenomenally immature and weird, but fun nonetheless.
     
  5. Tommy Callahan

    Tommy Callahan Well-Known Member
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    Yeah. I could get really detailed but I’ll refrain.
     
  6. Cheshire Bridge

    Cheshire Bridge 2017 & 2019 National Champions - Clemson Tigers
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    You want to start the 2019 version?
     
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  7. spagett

    spagett Got ya, spooked ya
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    Leggggooooo
     
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  8. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    I had a dream about doing this last night, and boy was it vivid
     
  9. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure College football is overrated anyways.
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    Did you wake up covered in shit like after a piss dream?
     
  10. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member

    No. I woke up in a panic, took a smell/moisture check, and then realized that I was neither 4 nor 94 years old
     
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  11. Tiffin

    Tiffin Florida is a penis.
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    I crapped the bed once in college. I was, however, incredibly sick and having fever dreams.
     
  12. sc_chant

    sc_chant Be A Dog
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  13. devine

    devine Make Devine A Mod Again
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    I shit myself twice last night but luckily I was at home
     
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  14. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    Waited too long or released some pressure?
     
  15. devine

    devine Make Devine A Mod Again
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    No. Both were farts that went bad because of dehydration I think
     
  16. 941Gator

    941Gator TMB's resident beach bum
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    Did your girl make it out alive?
     
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  17. Capt Wigs

    Capt Wigs Well-Known Member
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    Bent over to pick something at work and fart tried to sneak out. It wasn't a fart. Clenched just in time.
     
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  18. 40wwttamgib

    40wwttamgib Fah Q

    Best thread on the board. :roll:
     
  19. devine

    devine Make Devine A Mod Again
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    Washed both pairs of shorts. Nervous to check them
     
  20. Nandor the Relentless

    Nandor the Relentless Former Leader of Al Quolanudar
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    Can we get an update?
     
  21. spagett

    spagett Got ya, spooked ya
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    Did you wash off the pool and then throw them in the washer or did you throw them in with poop on the shorts?
     
  22. bturns

    bturns a better poster than Bertwing
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    Come on now... we both know devine threw them in with the poo and continued to shit in the washing machine since it was right there...
     
  23. One Two

    One Two Send it!
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    Now that the search function is fixed I can bump this thread.

    A few weeks ago I was violently ill. From 5am until 5pm that day was shitting and puking my guts out. And it wasn’t like “oh you’re about to poop better go get on the toilet,” it was “you have 7 seconds to be on the toilet and then you’re gonna have to guess which end it’s coming out.” Needless to say we lost a couple of boxers during those 12 hours.

    Fast forward to the next morning. I wake up, get out of bed and thought “I’m feeling a lot better, might be able to make it to the office.” I immediately shit my pants upon finishing the thought. Decided to burn a sick day.
     
  24. spagett

    spagett Got ya, spooked ya
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  25. bro

    bro Hey Hermano
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    upload_2019-12-27_16-9-24.gif
     
  26. Soup

    Soup Legend in the making
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    I’m in a current battle with the flu. I haven’t been eating at all, mostly liquid diet. It’s led to the same on the other end. Several sharts over the last few days.
     
  27. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

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    It's purely a function of our dystopian work culture that there are so many fecally befouled people at the office during viral season
     
  28. One Two

    One Two Send it!
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    Bananas and chicken broth (chicken noodle soup qualifies).
     
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  29. pnk$krtcrÿnästÿ

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    My stomach bug jam is plain 'gurt, banans + crushed up nilla wafers and i can't wait to get sick every year
     
  30. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure College football is overrated anyways.
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    Sop it up with a bunch of bread and crackers. That’ll make ya have a solid turd. It’s science.
     
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  31. spagett

    spagett Got ya, spooked ya
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    We have a long secluded hallway leading to our bathrooms at work.

    I turned the corner a while ago and saw some guy holding his butt and scampering to the bathroom. No way he didn't poop his pants. Only noobs hold their butts to prevent poop.
     
  32. HatterasJack

    HatterasJack Is your refrigerator running? It's Mike Hunt.
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    The flu can do a number on the digestive system. When I had it a few years ago I had it coming out of both ends. Was in the shower when one hit me instantly and I just shit in the shower because there was no use trying to run out and get to the toilet. Not my proudest moment.
     
  33. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure College football is overrated anyways.
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    So you just Kelly Clarkson’d
     
  34. Soup

    Soup Legend in the making
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    I’d like to be able to say I fought the battle and won, but at 6:30 am this morning at my desk I coughed and shit myself. I swear I felt it run up my back.
     
  35. Louis Holth

    Louis Holth David LaChapelle levels of not giving a fuck
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    It’s impossible to not enjoy a grown man shitting himself.
     
  36. Joe_Pesci

    Joe_Pesci yello
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    Ate something bad last night, most likely some bad chicken

    I just hit the glorious pants shitting while simultaneously puking milestone
     
  37. Tiffin

    Tiffin Florida is a penis.
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    Achievement unlocked.
     
  38. Soup

    Soup Legend in the making
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    Welcome to the club, we’ve got jackets.
     
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  39. Prospector

    Prospector I am not a new member
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    Wtf #1 why are you at your desk at 6:30?
    #2 ON A SATURDAY NO LESS
     
  40. Soup

    Soup Legend in the making
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    currently on a Tuesday through Saturday schedule.
     
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  41. Capt Wigs

    Capt Wigs Well-Known Member
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    Are they brown?
     
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  42. Stone Cold Steve Austin

    Stone Cold Steve Austin Tickler Extraordinaire
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    White with a brown racing stripe
     
  43. marcus

    marcus Sex with old ladies for money aaaand bear traps.
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    Really proud of you.
     
  44. dtx

    dtx Mike 2020
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    shitting while puking is definitely the pro move because at least you have something to catch the shit

    only amateurs puke while they’re shitting unless they have a trash can nearby
     
  45. Ty Webb

    Ty Webb A donut without a hole, is a Danish.
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    If given the choice as written above, shitting your pants would be the amateur move
     
  46. dtx

    dtx Mike 2020
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    sure, IF you have a trash can

    but if you’re in a public stall you’re not going to have one so pants shitting is the pro move
     
  47. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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    If I'm sick enough to puke and shit simultaneously I am not going to be anywhere near a public bathroom.
     
  48. Bo Pelinis

    Bo Pelinis WE GO HARD ON EARTH
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    Home double ejection move is to dump in the toilet whilst puking into a bucket and crying.
     
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  49. Hoss Bonaventure

    Hoss Bonaventure College football is overrated anyways.
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    Toilet is close enough to the bathtub so I just yak into there.