Welp...on vacation with the fam this week. Tonight’s dinner was about 2lbs of fully loaded nachos, a large salad, 4 pints of hazies, and a couple pieces of carrot cake. A few hours later, I put on my headlamp to hit the beach in search of crabs, lizards, etc. That dinner wasn’t having it about two miles from the house. Made it most of the way back when the alarm went off so I dug a hole and dropped trou. In retrospect, I should have just pooped in the ocean. My wife made me go back and clean it up. Now THAT’S a walk of shame.
My old lady is a nurse. This stuff is right up her alley. We also have two kids. Once you witness the whole birthing process, all bets are off from a gross out standpoint.
Not 100% relevant to the thread, but after about two total years in China, it finally happened... Was lying in bed hitting snooze this morning and shit myself real proper. Turns out a really good way to break the snooze cycle and get yourself out of bed is shitting yourself. Straight through the boxers onto the bedsheets as well. Made a beeline for the bathroom, but clearly, the damage was done.
I need a new database on how old the posters here are. Shitting yourself in bed? How much cocaine did you do tonight and overall in your life?
yeah, I get it. But I think that as a loving boyfriend I need to do whatever it takes to make sure that my gf never gets a mental picture of me shitting in the woods.
I'm with him though, I have a quick trigger when I have to take a crap a lot of times but I've never shit myself in bed. Were you basically awake, on your phone and didn't trust a fart or what?
This discussion is getting stupid, now we are discussing shitting ourselves in our bed…I haven’t shat myself in 35 years(+/-) I am 39 years old
Shit my bed while blackout drunk at 19 years old. If I ever do something like that again I'm seeing a doctor.
If you fell asleep/blacked out the night before... just throw those clothes away. You can't wash the shit out of those jeans/boxers/sheets. Trust me I know from experience. Or if you're sick or something, sorry man, get well soon.
Feels like a few of you didn't process the first sentence of my post... Yeah, that smell can't be removed. And just to be clear, I didn't wake up to realizing I shit myself overnight. I woke up for good (and with the quickness) when I shit myself this morning here.
What if you know a couple guys, allegedly, that need therapy for verbal diarrhea? Spoiler Lip Tug Vinegar Strokes No seriously. It’s a problem. How do you tell a guy his whole social media presence is basically shitting of one’s own pants? Literally asking for a friend.* Spoiler *cockgoblin on the interwebz
Only time i've shit myself in bed was when I had a bad stomach bug that involved vomiting and diarrhea and I shit myself when I was asleep one night. Thankfully it was not a liquid shit and it stayed in my pants or that would have been a god damn disaster of a cleanup operation.
Not a shitting myself story but a China shitting story. Was in a Chinese hotel. Not like a Marriott or whatever, an actual Chinese hotel. The Dragon Inn IIRC the name. It was a nice place but they don't quite have the water pressure in the toilets there like we do. Came within a cm of overflowing the bowl. I was mortified at the idea of calling Chinese housekeeping and maintenance to take care of a fat American's toilet mess. Luckily it didn't overflow. I used a coat hanger to break the dam, wrapped it in a trash bag and covered it in other garbage to ensure it was never used again.
This same exact thing happened to an American friend of mine when we were traveling in Xi'an. Only the overflow actually happened. I now have an eye for how many courics put you in the danger zone and take preventative measures (actually, a lot of the coastal cities aren't so bad with water pressure now). Sometimes, you have to press and hold the left button. If you don't do that the first time, you can have an overflow situation.
From the comments The shitter actually asked the guy if they had a bathroom and the was told we don't have a bathroom. Then he was given directions to a public bathroom close by, but shitter rebuke him and said he'll just hold it. At that point shitter should've had some courtesy and at least relieved himself on the sidewalk lol
Shit myself in bed once in my late 20s. No drugs, just a bad stomach bug. Actually happened while I was sleeping. A real shitty nocturnal emission if you will. That stomach bug sucked. Basically just took turns throwing up and butt pissing all night long. Sometimes simultaneously.
Do I belong itt if someone else shit my pants at work today? Spoiler Goddamn 6 month old could probably connect on a 15 yard out with that thing
I feel like IBS ironically has kept me from doing this in my adult life. I stay aware of where a potential toilet is.
Damn near shit my pants today at work. Just clocked out at work, felt the need to shit come on. I live like 5 minutes from home, so I was like "i'll just hold it until I get home." Half way to the car, I'm starting to sweat from holding it, like sweat literally rolling down my forehead. So I get in, drive up to the main entrance which had the closest bathroom, and I unleashed hell on that toilet.