I just shit my pants at work.**Now with fart stimulation**

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by Hoss Bonaventure, Jul 8, 2015.

  1. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
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    I'm assuming I had something like that because it was coming up both ends. Every time I went to vomit I couldn't control my bowels. I was fine about 12 hours later in the morning.
     
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  2. Emma

    Emma
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    You haven't experienced life until you're shitting and puking at the same time
     
    Tiffin, BWC, jrmy and 24 others like this.
  3. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    We had an outbreak of norovirus at the last college I worked at a few years ago. They shut down the school for like a week, but for some reason still let the athletic teams practice. Basketball team ended up having to play a game with only 7 available players, and like 4 of them were benchwarmers, with at least one of them being so bad that they weren't even amongst the best players in the spring intramural league.
     
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  4. THEBLUERAIDER

    THEBLUERAIDER Well-Known Member
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    Have you put in any applications for other schools yet?
     
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  5. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    Emma what would have been the plan if the hospital hadn't been far enough away that the only reasonable way to get there is by vehicle>
     
  6. Emma

    Emma
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    No but likely will be a good idea. The janitor, who had started his first week, is probably wondering wtf did he get himself seeing garbage cans lined with diarrhea and puke.

    The smell alone will probably be terrible on Tuesday before I clean the place.
     
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  7. Emma

    Emma
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    Would've slept over the night in the cozy cube and prayed I feel better in the morning.
     
  8. The Blackfish

    The Blackfish The Fish in Black
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  9. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Glad/surprised to see you're alive
     
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  10. Emma

    Emma
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    Norovirus, good call Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Those unaware of what a cozy cube is,

    [​IMG]

    Slept on a large beanbag, a pillow that has student snot etc on it and covered with a blanket that's been through hell.
     
  11. Trip McNeely

    Trip McNeely Guys like us....we are a dime a dozen
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  12. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    Can't afford an ambulance ride?
     
  13. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    So Emma is basically a cat when sick
     
  14. 40wwttamgib

    40wwttamgib Fah Q, Ohio
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    This is why pot lucks should be outlawed.
     
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  15. ono

    ono Well-Known Member
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    She’d kill me if she knew I shared this but the first time I celebrated her birthday with my future wife, it ended with her shitting and puking at the same time.

    It worked out for us, so shit puking doesn’t always have to end poorly Emma
     
  16. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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    Maybe Emma and the new janitor were ment to be
     
  17. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    I admire your ability to fully invest in the minutiae of your surroundings. No diggity. You take heat, but you're a real one. All love
     
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  18. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    What you mean by that?
     
  19. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    Where to start? It's a combo of you get fully vested into things, then it often doesn't work out. But you dive in, fully vested and it's admirable, if often misguided. You seem to really take part and give your all. You give us details and it means something to you, which is something you have over all these assholes that scoff at you at times. You love to share, and I think that's beautiful. That said, and I'm part: I'm waiting to hear how it's not going to work and it's someone else's fault
     
  20. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    Btw, that's me talking to me as much as me talking to rando internet guy. Were in this together, bro
     
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  21. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    I think you're a genuinely kind hearted and good guy.
     
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  22. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    How what's not going to work?
     
  23. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    You're asking a question I simply am incapable of understanding
     
  24. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    I'll re-read and perhaps improve
     
  25. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    You know what, you're right. I do think it will eventually work for you. It should work and you deserve it
     
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  26. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    I thought maybe you were talking about something specific.
     
  27. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    Also, for the sake of this thread, I shit my pants in my 8th grade trip to DC. Jefferson memorial. In the the fucking bus. I felt surrounded but it was pretty empty. I also truly think dawn Staley was working in the hotel we stayed at
     
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  28. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    What specifics? You're pretty famous around here, like a little brother, but you're a real one so you have reapect
     
  29. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    But it's true, I do like getting fully invested in stuff. For better or worse. Not as bad as it used to be though. I have learned the hard way through a series of disappointments. I will say it produces more good than bad though.
     
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  30. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    It's was some uv
    Bro. If you don't mean it's what's the point. I hear you about being disappointed about how things end up but I sure as shit hope you had moments before that made it worth it.
     
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  31. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    And I'm not a bro guy. But I feel you.
     
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  32. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    For example, I mash into this board. These dudes have been doing this for years. Fuck it
     
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  33. Pile Driving Miss Daisy

    Pile Driving Miss Daisy It angries up the blood
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    Hey guys, what's going on?
     
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  34. Tro lo lo

    Tro lo lo You kids must be from the suburbs.
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  35. ~ taylor ~

    ~ taylor ~ Well-Known Member
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    I have zero idea but it's mesmerizing
     
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  36. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    But it's a shared experience and there's an overwhelming desire to speak and be heard. And it's important. A lot of these dudes have made extravagant strides relative to their upbringing and have evolved. Their is a lot of thoughtful expertise, for lack of a better term. This is a good corner of the internet, and you're an important citizen
     
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  37. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    Shawn and I are bonding. Let love live.
     
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  38. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    Heard but stand by every word
     
  39. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    Also, Shawn, to be clear, I don't actually love you and I think candy corn is fucking gross
     
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  40. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    Do they make those for plus sizes?
     
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  41. kinghill

    kinghill Cool American Flavour
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    Every time I see this thread bumped I ask myself "why does this pants shitting thread keep getting bumped" but I don't investigate. I just sit on the outside wondering about all you disgusting pants shitters.

    I think I did that once 30 years ago.
     
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  42. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    I poop my pants all the time.
     
  43. Montclaire de Haviland

    Montclaire de Haviland Getting ripshit on run ham

    I forget the quote about how goofy it is that folks like hells angels wear stupid costumes and try to be tough. Never mind police. They all shit their pants
     
  44. Shawn Hunter

    Shawn Hunter Vote Corey Matthews for Congress
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    How often is all the time?
     
  45. 40wwttamgib

    40wwttamgib Fah Q, Ohio
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    I don’t know what’s happening in here but it needs to stop.
     
  46. ARSENAL

    ARSENAL Well-Known Member
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    Nothing you can really do if you have that stomach bug. Stay hydrated and don’t trust a fart…because it’s just hot liquid poop and you have to throw your mattress away and your mom is going to be upset when she gets home from work because her 15 year old ruined the curtains beside the bed as well by projectile starting.


    This is all alleged btw
     
  47. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    Ok so not all the time. I’ll have a fart go wrong every once in a while.
     
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  48. Lip

    Lip Well-Known Member
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    simply posting a lot doesn’t make you an important citizen here. If that were true, then Dump would be deemed important too.
     
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  49. bigred77

    bigred77 Well-Known Member
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