ITT we post facepalm moments in our life.

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by a.tramp, May 3, 2022.

  1. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    See title, I’ll go first.

    My work van’s tags expired in June of 2020. Just today, 5 minutes ago got them up to date. Miraculously I had not even gotten pulled over for it, let alone a ticket.

    They did not even charge me for the 2 years it was not tagged. But, I would have rather paid that then dealing with anxiety every time I passed/saw a cop the last 1.5 years.

    I am on the right side of the law once more!
     
  2. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    lol I noticed your tags were expired and just thought you were a bad boi
     
  3. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    and regarding this topic I don't even know where to begin...
     
  4. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    So, I have a long list of excuses at the ready.

    1. notice of upcoming registration got lost in paperwork during house remodel.
    2. Wife’s pregnancy became very rough in spring of ‘20.
    3. Covid
    4. Finishing remodel while working full time.
    5. Baby came early, via c-section
    6. Wife was on bedrest for 6 weeks following c-section.
    7. Fuck I have a baby.
    8. Vehicle check engine light kept on coming on, meaning I would have to have repairs, then wait until I get it inspected.
    9. I am a lazy pos outside of work and home reno.
     
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  5. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    We have plenty of people that can post on your behalf to get the ball rolling lmao
     
  6. Butthead

    Butthead narmas, narmas

    One time I got a robo call telling me my phone was shut off. I was broke as hell at the time and behind on my bill, but not so much that it should affect my service. I went into the AT&T store to ask about it and they looked at me like I was the biggest moron they had ever seen because I had received the phone call and therefore my service was not suspended
     
  7. One Two

    One Two Send it!
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    Many moons ago I was on a high school spring break trip to the beach eating at a restaurant with friends. When the waitress found out where we went to high school she asked if anyone had Mrs Lantz for math and I blurted out “yeah she was a bitch.”

    It was her mom.
     
  8. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    A few years ago I went almost a full year on a expired driver's license. You can renew a DL here for up to 3 years. I had done that and I guess it just went so long between having to do it that I forgot about it. Never had an accident or police encounter thankfully. I only renew my DL for one year at a time now.
     
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  9. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
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    I've left my sunroof open and gotten my car rained in 2x.... this year
     
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  10. tylerdolphin

    tylerdolphin My spoon is too big
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    I've run out of gas multiple times.

    In fairness to me my vehicle doesn't have a gas gauge and I haven't done it in a few years.
     
  11. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    Your username makes so much sense now.
     
  12. football501

    football501 I once ate a Twix with the wrapper on it
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    We were at a football camp with a good chunk of our high school team and a few of our coaches. One of the guys was being a general dickhead and he left our dorm room to get something from his. We locked the door and sure enough, a couple minutes later there's someone pounding away and like a 16 year old idiot I just yelled out for him to fuck off. We opened the door to our head coach being less than thrilled.
     
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  13. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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  14. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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  15. DeToxRox

    DeToxRox (Insert name here) is tired - try again, Vin
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    I was on a walk with my wife one afternoon and I got hit hard by a case of the oncoming shits. Ran into a Tubby’s that was nearby and destroyed the toilet. And then when I went to flush, it wouldn’t work. Didn’t have it in me to explain myself so I quickly left out the side door. I felt really bad though and asked my wife to go back inside and buy us waters so I could at least tell myself I was a paying customer.
     
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  16. Jake Scott

    Jake Scott Well-Known Member
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    :ded:
     
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  17. Shinzonᴵᴵ

    Shinzonᴵᴵ °°°°
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    Had one happen recently. Saw one of my long-time friend’s mom for the first time in a while. She’s had a rough past year or so. Her husband left her for another woman, and I saw on FB a month or so ago that her dog passed away. She was talking about how she’s been lonely and a little depressed but starting to feel better. I was with my fiancée so they were talking about our wedding plans, etc. My friend’s mom said she always wondered if I’d stick to what I said when I was younger that I’d never want to get married. I was just trying to make a joke, and didn’t think about it till after I said it, but I said, “Yeah I decided I didn’t want to die alone.”

    Thankfully my fiancée felt the awkwardness and changed the subject quickly asking her about what photographer her daughter used for her wedding. But I felt like a complete asshole for the rest of the day.
     
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  18. LetItSoak

    LetItSoak Well-Known Member
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    In ny very mild defense we had a townhouse with a 2 car garage and recently moved to a single family with no garage so I'm still figuring out that I have to roll everything up at night
     
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  19. $P1

    $P1 Ball State #1
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    I've left my windows down in various vehicles that got flooded with rain at least a dozen times through the years
     
  20. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    a.tramp

    thank you for that op. my car’s tags are expired since february bc i’m just too lazy. the thrill of having a cop behind you is exhilarating. had one behind me in the drive thru for like 10 mins the other day and was on edge.
     
  21. a.tramp

    a.tramp Insubordinate and churlish
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    Fast forward a year and that repeated exhilaration transforms into a fashion of schizophrenia!
     
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  22. Tobias

    Tobias dan “the man qb1” jones fan account
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    was gonna get an inspection this week and just renew online but now i kinda wanna let it ride
     
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  23. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    I too had expired tags for like 14 months during Covid before I just sold that vehicle rather than renewing the tags lmao
     
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  24. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Me continuing to go into the scotus thread when it's mostly people engaging with the same idiotic bigot
     
  25. Taques

    Taques please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad
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    creating this web sight full of haters
     
  26. Emma

    Emma Words
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    Had a girl grab my dick and give me a kiss on the cheek in college during a drunken party night. Was taken back and didn't know how to react. Stupidly didn't pursue her that night, she thought I had no interest in her and got mad, she's now a virologist and gorgeous and I'm not.
     
  27. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    One time in rec ball a kid from the other team clapped his hands like "throw it in to me!" and I threw it to him for some reason and he immediately laid it up for 2
     
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  28. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    I had tech support remoted into my computer one time. As I expected before the call the guy did not resolve the issue. As soon as I hung up the phone I hopped on Teams to tell a coworker how shitty he was. Well he was still remoted into my machine. Got an email a few minutes later saying he was sorry for his level of support but would like another shot at fixing it. Felt bad about that but I wasn't wrong just an asshole I guess.
     
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  29. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    Ok, I think Bruce Bowen made his post and left the thread now.

    God that guy's a shitty poster.
     
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  30. Bruce Bowen

    Bruce Bowen Well-Known Member
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    [​IMG]
     
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  31. CF3234

    CF3234 Fan of: Bandwagons
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    similar story,

    Was on a class trip in HS. Can't remember what it was for. I had just gotten out of the shower when I heard a banging on our door. Figuring it was my best friend who was rooming with me and had forgotten his key, I went and swung open the door in nothing but a towel and said "you are early, I ordered the hooker for later tonight."

    It was the 70 year old ex-nun chaperone of the trip.

    For some reason, I was pulled out of that room and moved to a room right next to hers for the rest of the trip
     
  32. Boo MFer!

    Boo MFer! Have you ever knowingly bought a haunted item?
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    I was in college when I learned sweet potatoes weren’t just baked potatoes that had been injected with sweetener.
     
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  33. VaxRule

    VaxRule Mmm ... Coconuts
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    At least when you press your palm to your face, it will be baby smooth to the touch.
     
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  34. hood b. goode

    hood b. goode league sources
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    did acid for the first time and rolled / thrashed around a strangers living room

    complete disaster
     
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  35. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    The test failed to detect a facepalm.
     
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  36. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    I’ll start small.

    At a work lunch and I’m looking at the menu and exclaim, “Cool! They’ve got shit take mushrooms!”

    I had no idea I’d been pronouncing that wrong my whole life.
     
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  37. milquetoast

    milquetoast Firm Security
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    Had 18th-row tickets on the field to see Billy Joel / Elton John at the then-Citrus Bowl in the mid 90's. Was absolutely shitfaced drunk. Billy was playing, kept drinking...really had to pee. Decided I didn't want to walk 40 feet to the nearest portable toilet and believed I had plenty of room in front of me to pee inconspicuously. So relieving. Great decision. Billy Joel sounds great. Woman in the row in front of me whips around because I wasn't peeing on the ground. I was peeing on her seat, splashing up her legs. I tried to pass it off as me spilling my beer on her seat as I quickly stuffed my dick back in my jeans but few, if anyone, believed me.

    I went home from the concert earlier than expected and sat in my house looking at the wall wondering how far I'd fallen in life.
     
  38. TrustyPatches

    TrustyPatches They watch like Movado so I floss like a model
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    Handed a date some stuff from pockets to throw away once and there was an empty gas station dick pill container amongst chewing gum wrappers and receipts
     
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  39. BamaNug

    BamaNug Half is a lie, but the good part's true
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    I switched to T-Mobile a few years ago. Like every cell phone store in existence, it was staffed by early-20s punks who didn't want to be there any more than I did. Punk ass kid was just blaring rap music while switching my phone service. It was not enjoyable for either of us.

    That night I went to a Mariners game with a friend. Just a few weeks earlier, Safeco Field changed their stadium to T-Mobile Park. Tied one on pretty tight.

    A few days later, I'm looking at my credit card bill, and just in all caps is a bunch of $30-$40 charges identified as "T-MOBILE." Immediately, my mind goes to that punk T-mobile rep and I convince myself he stole my credit card info and was running up charges.

    I call Chase ready to raise hell. After looking at my bill for about 10 seconds, the poor woman on the other line says, "sir, it looks like these are concession charges...did you go to a baseball game recently?"

    I can't remember if I hung up immediately or mumbled some half-ass apology before hanging up. T'was embarrassing.
     
    #39 BamaNug, May 3, 2022
    Last edited: May 3, 2022
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  40. Nandor the Relentless

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    I learned the hard way one day at work what drinking too much apple juice can do
     
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  41. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
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    You pissed your pants?
     
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  42. Nandor the Relentless

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    If by piss you mean pissing out my ass, then yes
     
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  43. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Well-Known Member
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    Jill? From Sky Bar?
     
  44. blind dog

    blind dog wps
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    I think you are v gorgeous, you even seem like a model IMO
     
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  45. Detlef Schrempf

    Detlef Schrempf Well-Known Member
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    Part time model, but you should probably keep your normal job
     
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  46. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Love these stories. Went to a work function at a restaurant once and a buddy ordered the Monterey chicken, but pronounced it "monturry" like he was one of those guys from the pace salsa commercials from the 90s
     
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  47. Emma

    Emma Words
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    You always know how to cheer me up :blush:
     
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  48. Beachy Toast

    Beachy Toast Doing some beachy things.
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    Locked my keys in the car and had to uber to my parent's house twice.
     
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  49. ned's head

    ned's head Well-Known Member
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    Wife and I rented this cabin in Colorado that was on a dirt road, no wifi, no cell service, and 5 miles to the closest gas station. The car rental place only a 2wd cars.

    We get ready to go on a hike. There is almost no margin for error with a ditch behind the parking area. I carefully back up to the furthest area and needed to punch it to get over a little hump in the road. I did that, but had forgotten to get out of reverse first. Ditched it and had to hitch to the gas station to call a tow truck.
     
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  50. One Two

    One Two Send it!
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    Who was the guy whose wife couldn’t figure out why the dining room chairs were so expensive and it was because she ordered six sets of chairs instead of six individual chairs?
     
    #50 One Two, May 3, 2022
    Last edited: May 3, 2022