ITT: We tell secrets about famous athletes that only you would know

Discussion in 'The Mainboard' started by dwolfunc, Jul 20, 2009.

  1. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersDetroit Tigers

    :laugh: at Joe Mauer trying to be Pat Burrell
     
    wes tegg, Bar None and dvnasty like this.
  2. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
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  3. TheChatch

    TheChatch Big Paws On A Puppy.
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    Boston Red SoxDenver BroncosColorado AvalanceNorth Carolina TarheelsDeVry FarvasPortland Trail BlazersOregon Ducks

    There is only one "pat the bat".
     
  4. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
    Staff Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksNew Orleans SaintsTiger WoodsBarAndGrill

    from edsbs... they linked this thread to their site
     
  5. G.O.A.T.

    G.O.A.T. Well-Known Member

    When I was about 12 years old, my whole soccer team was at this kids house and Keyshawn Johnson was looking at a condo across the street. He signed autographs for my whole team while sitting in his tricked out Lincoln navigator.
     
  6. Merica

    Merica Devine pls stop pointing out my demise. :(
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    Auburn TigersAtlanta BravesPittsburgh Steelers

    [​IMG]
    EBEDS PLS
     
    wes tegg, IV, StinkusP1nkus and 5 others like this.
  7. Redav

    Redav One big ocean
    Donor

    Oh, ok. I was worried it was a website people actually visit.
     
    Keef and Merica like this.
  8. _fuzzy_

    _fuzzy_ Well-Known Member

    I'm sure I'm not the only one who knows this, and he's not that famous, but here goes.
    Kelly Washington told me that he made his final decision to go to Tennessee after he was visited in his apartment by a "hostess".
    She was blond and petite and travelled with a large black dildo.
    He said there was not much conversation, but she immediately stripped an started putting on a show for him.
    At one point she did a handstand against the wall, spred her legs and invited him to do the dildoing. This of course progressed into vigorous anal sex.
    He said it made the decision easy.
     
    Legend2 likes this.
  9. Bo Pelinis

    Donor TMB OG
    Nebraska CornhuskersKansas City RoyalsKansas City ChiefsBig 8 Conference

    Brb changing my user name to Patrick Ewing's Cock Holster.
     
  10. bertwing

    bertwing check out the nametag grandma
    Staff Donor
    Arkansas RazorbacksNew Orleans SaintsTiger WoodsBarAndGrill

    a 7 foot black guy with a huge penis is the least surprising story itt
     
  11. Mix

    Mix I own a Fuddruckers with Scottie Pippen
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    UCF KnightsPittsburgh PenguinsOrlando CityPittsburgh Steelers

    At least we got linked by someone with a similar userbase as us.
     
    WolverineJack likes this.
  12. Butters

    Butters BALLISLIFE

    Rodrick Stewart --shitty bball transfer from USC (to Kansas)-- tore his ACL while getting domed up in a bathroom by a girl I went to HS with
     
    SF and titsorgtfo like this.
  13. Tommy Callahan

    Tommy Callahan Well-Known Member
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    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta Braves

    Knew a set of triplets in middle school. One in 6th, one in 7th, and one in 8th...
     
    Room 15 likes this.
  14. og

    og ready to party? by party I mean smoke cigarettes
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    Pittsburgh PenguinsPittsburgh SteelersPenn State Nittany Lions

    please hope someone posted the pelican picture welcome yahoo only now to say welcome edsbs
     
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  15. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
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    Arkansas RazorbacksSan Francisco GiantsOklahoma City ThunderDallas CowboysSan Francisco 49'ersMontreal Impact

    Can we at least change the post EDBS linked to something similar to what we did with the Yahoo link?

    Someone better clean this place up. We have company coming over. I expect 10s of people to click that link.
     
    Jork likes this.
  16. THF

    THF BITE THE NUTS, THUMB IN THE ASS!
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    Arkansas RazorbacksSan Francisco GiantsOklahoma City ThunderDallas CowboysSan Francisco 49'ersMontreal Impact

    Literally beat me by two minutes. Nicely done.
     
  17. colonel_forbin

    colonel_forbin Well-Known Member
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    can we take all the pat burrell stories, compile them into one post, and pin it at the top of the board?

    because he's fucking awesome.
     
    wes tegg and Merica like this.
  18. Lyrtch

    Lyrtch My second favorite meat is hamburger
    Staff Donor

    Hah, edsbs just started a new thread with the same idea as this thread. He cited it, but didn't link again. Otherwise these 188 Guests would probably be 300+ again.
     
  19. Clubber Lang

    Clubber Lang High Potentate
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    The important thing is you took the lesson of the class to heart and shared. God bless you.
     
  20. UrsaGrande

    UrsaGrande wait, what?
    Donor

    Background is Candlestick, seems suspect.
     
    Jork likes this.
  21. 231Wolverines1

    231Wolverines1 Michigan, Raptors, Lions, Tigers, Wings, Italy

    how in the hell does this happen?
     
  22. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

    Idk I like to lock my knees out while I'm nutting sometimes :idk:
     
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  23. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    South Carolina GamecocksAtlanta BravesDallas CowboysNational LeagueAvengersBarAndGrill

    All new visitors should create an account and send a private message to ths to gain access to our private board, where all of the really good stories that couldn't be publicly shared are.
     
    bertwing, Fancy, Moxin24 and 2 others like this.
  24. WolverineJack

    WolverineJack Nature made me a freak.
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    Michigan WolverinesCincinnati RedsWashington WizardsCincinnati BengalsDetroit Red Wings

    All new guests check out the Deep Web thread and just start clicking on links. Really good secret stories about famous athletes in there, plus nudes of all you favorite female athletes.
     
  25. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

    Still can't believe how hard I came to that Alex Morgan butthole pic. About tore my ACL
     
  26. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersDetroit Tigers

    :roll:probably the funniest thing I've read in a fortnight
     
  27. Big Meech

    Big Meech I like turtles
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    Clemson TigersJacksonville Jaguars

    Might as well have told everyone that you believe everything you read on the internet
     
  28. Big Meech

    Big Meech I like turtles
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    Clemson TigersJacksonville Jaguars

    Your friend lied to you.
     
    wes tegg likes this.
  29. gus_chiggins

    gus_chiggins Where you goin’ with those clubs, punk
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    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesTiger WoodsGrateful Dead

    Might as well go fuck yourself
     
  30. fattus

    fattus Well-Known Member
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    Colorado RockiesDenver NuggetsDallas CowboysColorado AvalanceBoise State Broncos

    I used to live next to her best friend. Met Nene and his wife at her wedding dinner. Good people.
     
  31. Bar None

    Bar None Maintaining Integrity

    Deserves a bump.
     
  32. Butters

    Butters BALLISLIFE

    Haha must have slipped
     
  33. Goose

    Goose Hi
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    Ohio State BuckeyesCincinnati BearcatsCincinnati RedsCincinnati BengalsReal MadridXavier MusketeersDayton FlyersTiger WoodsFC CincinnatiPGA

    This story isn't that cool or anything but post divorce Tiger used to have huge ragers. My buddy's parents know his gardener and apparently one morning Tiger comes home wearing a doo-rag and smoking a black & mild. And apparently the inside of the house was just full of empty beer cans and someone left a box of ice cream on the counter over night and it melted everywhere
     
    wes tegg, 1, Fancy and 1 other person like this.
  34. OopsPowSurprise

    OopsPowSurprise Owed one ass kicking from poweshow
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    Florida GatorsMiami DolphinsFlorida PanthersMiami Marlins

    tiger with a doorag and a black is fucking hilarious
     
  35. colonel_forbin

    colonel_forbin Well-Known Member
    Donor

    Goodbye fried rice, hello fried chicken!!
     
  36. Bar None

    Bar None Maintaining Integrity

    This is speculation on my part, but I feel pretty good about it. Former MLB'er J@ret Wright's best friend is married to someone I am very close with. We've met a number of times over the years, fun guy to hang around, likes to party. Recently, his friend told his wife, this person with whom I am close, we'll call them David and Erin, that he, J@ret and a few others were taking a surfing vacation in Thailand. Before they left, I'd asked David to take pictures, he said he would. I'd been been in Phuket when I was a teenager and enjoyed the beaches. To this day, he absolutely refuses to show me any pictures, gets defensive whenever I bring it up, whatever. I'm sure all they did was bang hookers in Pattaya.
     
  37. Deckard

    Deckard what are you guys staring at im not a pole dancer
    TMB OG

    kyle parker walked into a frat party and yelled out,"who is sucking kyle parkers dick tonight?" he then proceeded to leave with two dudes.
     
    TC, og543ss, fattus and 5 others like this.
  38. Jax Teller

    Jax Teller Well-Known Member
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    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesTennessee TitansNashville PredatorsNashville SC

    Nothing wrong with this
     
  39. Capstone 88

    Capstone 88 Going hard in the paint
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    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesTennessee TitansNashville Predators2pac

    You did the same thing didn't you?
     
  40. Jax Teller

    Jax Teller Well-Known Member
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    Alabama Crimson TideAtlanta BravesTennessee TitansNashville PredatorsNashville SC

    I plead the fifth.
     
  41. Bar None

    Bar None Maintaining Integrity

    I'm not judging

    :justsayin:
     
  42. colonel_forbin

    colonel_forbin Well-Known Member
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    i can't get over how awesome pat burrell is.
     
    Merica and Caga palo like this.
  43. TC

    TC Peter, 53, from Toxteth
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    South Carolina GamecocksCarolina PanthersCarolina Hurricanes

    Tim Tebow walked into a frat party and yelled out "who's sucking Tim Tebow's dick tonight?" and the entire media spontaneously got down on their knees
     
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  44. (Z)

    (Z) Well-Known Member
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    Alabama Crimson TideBoston Red Sox

    This one time in college, my good friend Shithead (pronounced "Shuh-ted") told me this story about his cousins Orangejello and Lemonjello and their pet snake. They let the boa sleep in bed with them, and it started stretching out on the bed next to them.

    Their veterinarian, which happened to be a midget Jehovah's witness that their retarded younger brother thought was a leprechaun and stuffed in the closet on one occasion, told them that the snake was measuring them to see if he could eat them.

    Shithead used to tell this story all the time as a pick-up line, and would follow it up by asking "Who's sucking Shithead's dick tonight?" Multiple girls always got up and walked out with him.

    True Story.
     
    Croomsday, wes tegg, Drew63 and 3 others like this.
  45. jrmy

    jrmy For bookings contact Morgan at 702-374-3735
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    South Carolina GamecocksAtlanta BravesDallas CowboysNational LeagueAvengersBarAndGrill

    And then the snake said, "How does it feel? You're about to get eaten by Pat Burrell."
     
  46. Lyrtch

    Lyrtch My second favorite meat is hamburger
    Staff Donor

    I was actually there when this happened and knew one of the guys he left with.

    It was Tommy Bowden.
     
    Deckard likes this.
  47. Deckard

    Deckard what are you guys staring at im not a pole dancer
    TMB OG

    In 2009 dabo swinney was bartending when a patron started to flirt with him. At the end of ye night the patron tipped dabo with his hotel address and room number. When dabo got there he saw the door was ajar and was hesitant to walk in. He reluctantly opened the door to see the naked man practicing his bat swing in the middle of the room. The man looked at dabo, leaned up against the wall and said,"don't be nervous. You're about to fuck Kyle Parker."
     
  48. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersDetroit Tigers

    Haha 100% Awesome
     
  49. Celemo

    Celemo tell 'em Steve-Dave
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    Michigan WolverinesPortland Trail BlazersDetroit Tigers

    I really don't want to do any work today so I'm bumping this thread in the hope of some new stories that may follow
     
    oldberg, I<3privatedances and Truman like this.